Arcane Inc.: Books 1-4 (Arcane Inc. Box Set), page 1
Arcane Inc. Box Set
Books 1-4
Sean Stone
Contents
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Also by Sean Stone:
Warlock For Hire
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Warlock Wanted
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Interlude
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Dark Warlock
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Warlock At War
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
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Also by Sean Stone:
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Also by Sean Stone:
The Cedarstone Chronicles
Cursed
The Cult of Osiris
The Ancients
Reunion
Arcane Inc.
Warlock for Hire
Warlock Wanted
Dark Warlock
Warlock At War
Short Story Collections
Horrors from Cedarstone
Horrors from Cedarstone II
Horrors from Cedarstone III
Warlock For Hire
Book 1
1
The lights in the hall dimmed and the cheesy spiritual music began to play. I’ve been to a few psychic medium acts and you’d be surprised by how many of them start this way. Or maybe you wouldn’t, who knows? I was surprised the first time I attended one of these shows. The music always sounds like it would be more at home being part of the ghost train at Brighton Pier. What surprises me more is the fact that nobody ever gets up and leaves; I almost did the first time I heard it, but I was working and had to stay. I suppose once you’ve invested money in the ticket — which is always overpriced considering more than fifty percent of the time you’re going to end up doing more work than the medium — it’s a little harder to walk out, you want your money’s worth. I can understand that, after all, half the reason I come to these shows is to make money. The other half… Well you’ll find out soon enough.
A woman with curly blonde hair and a thick pair of plastic glasses walked onto the stage. Who ever was responsible for sound effects didn’t turn the music down until she was already talking. Amateur. It wasn’t just that that gave her away as an amateur; it was also the cheap hall she’d rented and the fact that her name was unrecognisable. Sally Wenshaw — I’d never heard of her. Then again I haven’t heard of a lot of people. As soon as I heard Sally speak I instantly detested her. It was nothing she said, just her profession in general. I can’t stand these people that claim to have psychic abilities and then use blatant trickery to swindle people out of money. It’s as much the customers fault as it is hers in my opinion. Anyone who falls for this crap is an idiot. You might be offended by that comment. Maybe you’ve fallen for a fraudulent psychic or medium’s act before. Well I stand by what I said. If you’re offended by being called an idiot then you should probably stop reading because I am most probably going to call you an idiot again. Or worse. Who knows? Anyway, back to the point. What was I saying? Ah, yes, mediums. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that all mediums and psychics are frauds. There are real ones. But they are hard to find. Mediums aren’t. Communing with the dead is easy enough for someone with the power — I have the power, you might see me use it some time. Psychics on the other hand are very rare. Trust me on this, people search the world for seers —that’s what they’re generally known as, not psychics — and most people are not successful. Seers are very useful things, they can see the future, the past, things in distant places. So you can understand why a person might want to get their hands on one. I knew a seer once, they died. Hit by a bus. They didn’t see it coming, not in either sense. That wasn’t a joke, it really happened. Anyway, I’ve digressed again. I’m probably going to do that a lot, so you’ll need patience, but trust me it’s worth it because you are about to be treated to a real cracker of a story. I should know — I’m in it.
So, who am I? Eddie Lancaster, director of Arcane Incorporated. Sounds mysterious and important eh? That’s the point. And no, it’s not really a company, more of a one man show, but Arcane Inc just has a better ring to it. Don’t you think? I’m basically a warlock for hire. Need something supernatural? Come to me. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Warlocks are bad right? Wrong. Well, no they are bad. Most anyway. But I’m a different kind of warlock. A unique kind of warlock. A one of a kind kind of warlock. I’m what you’d call a natural warlock. Ordinary warlocks are sorcerers who steal magic from other sorcerers. In order to steal said magic they must kill said sorcerer. So you can understand why warlocks are naturally associated with badness. I, however, do not kill. I was born with the ability to just take power from a sorcerer. No killing, no hurting. Just a clean old swipe. I don’t just go around swiping power either, that would also be wrong. Plus it’s a little harder than a simple swipe. I only take it with consent. Except with bad people, evil people. If we cross paths I take their magic. For my own protection. You’re probably wondering now, when does somebody give me consent to take their magic? Well I could tell you, but I’ll be able to show you if you wait until later. For now, back to Sally.
She stood front centre of the stage, eyes closed, one hand pushed to her forehead. The classic medium pose. “I’m getting something,” she said, a hint of northern in her accent. “It’s a letter.” It’s always a letter. “An a.” She opened her eyes and looked around the audience. I once knew a medium who literally went through the alphabet in order until she found somebody to invite on stage. Surprisingly she got all the way to “s” before someone stood up. This time was different. As she’d instructed, all the people with an “a” anywhere in their name stood up. She said that earlier when I was waffling about warlocks.
My name is actually Edward so I stood up with the other half of the room. Things would get pretty awkward if I was called up though.
“Now, bear with me whilst I try to get another letter,” Sally said and resumed the pose. I really hoped she wasn’t going to drag this whole thing out. The show was only billed as being forty minutes long. Not that they usually ran full length when I attended. “I’m getting a… ooh, it’s another a,” she said, and all but one man sat back down. “You must be Aaron,” she said gesturing for the man to come up on stage. The audience applauded. They actually applauded. Of course his name was Aaron, how many other names have two fucking “a’s” in them? Actually Alan does. So does Adrian. Alright I take that back, there are some other names with two “a’s”, but not many.
Aaron made his way onto the stage and stood before Sally. He was a short man, barely a foot taller than she was and he had a greasy sort of pervert look about him. You know the one I mea
“The spirits are saying all sorts of things about you,” she said, with a coy smile. Contrary to what seems to be popular belief you do not inherit psychic abilities upon death. You still only have the knowledge that you experienced in life. So why so many people think that spirits have all the secrets of the universe is beyond me.
“What are they saying?” Aaron asked eagerly. This ought to be good.
“Things best not said in front of everyone here,” Sally said rather disappointingly. “Now, I’ve got somebody here who wants to talk to you. He’s saying he’s your grandfather, has your grandfather passed away?”
I’d like to point out that Aaron looked like he was at least fifty so the chances of his grandfather being alive were slim to none. I was pretty sure that Sally was a fake, but I had to be certain before I crashed the show. That meant enduring more of the appalling act.
“Yes, he has,” Aaron said, nodding sadly.
“Hmm, I think he’s saying it was ten years ago?” she suggested. I liked how she phrased it as a question. Some psychic.
“No,” Aaron said, shaking his head. “Two years ago.”
“Two, yes of course, he says he was only joking.” The whole room erupted with laughter. Unbelievable. People really do believe what they want to. “He liked a joke didn’t he?”
“Yeah, he did,” Aaron said, he nodded fondly as if they were actually having a reminiscent chat about his grandfather. I mean seriously, who doesn’t like a joke? Even Hitler liked a bit of slapstick.
“He’s telling me… he died of cancer. Is that right, love, was it cancer?”
Aaron nodded and looked down at the floor. I wanted so badly for her to try to be more specific, but I knew she wouldn’t, they never were. Cancer is a pretty broad category when it comes to guessing the cause of death. When they try narrowing the field it alway ends badly. Unless they’re actually psychic of course.
I was nearly ready to jump up and bring an end to the whole charade. All I was waiting on was a Barnum statement. What’s a Barnum statement I hear you say? Let me tell you. A Barnum statement is a statement so broad it could literally apply to anyone. Horoscopes are full of them. Seriously, next time you see a horoscope try applying any sentence to everyone in the room. No matter what zodiac sign they are the statement will work.
“He’s telling me you’ve got something in your pocket,” Sally said. That was a surprise to me. Was she actually about to exhibit some real psychic ability? “He’s saying you’ve got some…” I was on the edge of my uncomfortable plastic chair, waiting to see if she was actually about to guess what was in his pocket. “…Loose change?” I slumped back down. What man doesn’t have loose change in his pocket? Aaron nodded enthusiastically and the audience applauded yet again. I very nearly considered not opening their eyes to the trickery, but that wouldn’t do me any good. And at the end of the day it was me that I was here for. Not them. I might as well tell you now, I’m a fairly selfish person. You’ll find out soon enough.
“Right, Aaron, he’s going to tell me a bit about you now,” she said. “Give us a moment. Right, here it is. He’s saying… He’s saying he remembers how you were often a quiet chap, but then at other times you could be the life and soul of the party.”
“Ding, ding, ding!” I shouted, jumping to my feet and pointing straight at the stage. Everybody turned to look at me, their faces a tableau of astonished horror. The man who was sitting next to me jumped right off his chair. “Barnum statement! There we have it folks, our Barnum statement.”
“Sir, please return to your seat,” Sally said, trying to usher me back down.
“You Madame, are a fraud!” I shouted. I shuffled past the people next to me and made my way into the aisle. “You do not have a psychic bone in your body.”
“Psychic ability is not held in the bones,” she said loftily.
“You wouldn’t know anything about where psychic ability is kept you dirty little charlatan,” I said. She was right, though; it’s not kept in the bones. I strode up the aisle and hopped up onto the stage. I could tell by the run down venue, and the cheap ticket price that Sally Wenshaw could not afford security. Nobody was going to interrupt my interruption.
“The spirits are warning me about you,” she said all of a sudden, once again raising her hand to her forehead.
“What are they saying?” I asked with mock intrigue.
“Things I’d best not say out loud,” she said shaking her head. “But nothing good I can assure you.”
“I’ll tell you what, if you can tell me Aaron’s grandfather’s name correctly the first time, I will take back my accusation and leave,” I offered. I already knew that she wouldn’t take my challenge. If she failed, she’d be ruined for sure. At least in Maidstone she would be. She could start a fresh in the next town and not return here for a good year or so. By that time people would’ve forgotten.
“I have nothing to prove to the likes of you,” she said indignantly.
“But I bought a ticket,” I replied, equally indignant, but mine was more mocking.
“Your interruption has voided your ticket,” she said.
“Didn’t say that in the terms and conditions,” I argued. “Anyway, I’ve had enough of you. Go to sleep,” I said and snapped my fingers in her face. The audience gasped and Aaron leapt across the stage as Sally collapsed in a heap on the floor. Her body was going to ache when she woke up. She deserved it. I turned to the audience.
“Sally Wenshaw is a fraud,” I announced, with a grand flourish of my hand. “I, as you have just seen, am not. I am magical. My name is Eddie Lancaster and I can help you with all your esoteric needs. And that includes talking to the dead.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out a business card. I threw it out and as I did so the single card multiplied and over a hundred cards rained down on their heads. I’ve only ever paid for one business card. Magic’s handy like that. With my piece said, and my demonstration given I strolled out of the room, a little disappointed at the small number of people who were actually pocketing my card.
Yes, that’s right. I didn’t come here to save these people from scandal. I came here to increase my customer base. I warned you at the beginning that money was half the reason I was here. Like I said, I’m selfish. It’s all about me. It is my book after all. Besides, if it makes you feel better, I never get much business from events like this. Just enough to keep me going.
So there you have it. I’m Eddie Lancaster. Warlock for hire. And this, is just one of my many, many adventures. No. No. That’s too cheesy. Even for me. I’m sorry. I cringed when I said that. I promise if you read on I will try my best not to say any more cheesy sentences. I’m probably going to fail though, so just read on anyway.
