Pieces & Parts, page 1
Copyright © 2021 by Dawn Hosmer, Mind Mosaic, LLC
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.
ISBN: 978-1-7374695-0-6 paperback
1st edition: September 2021
Cover Design: Rebecca F. Kenney
Interior Design: Nicole Scarano
Editing: Kate Yelland
Contents
I. July
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
II. JANUARY — FEBRUARY
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
III. AUGUST
Chapter 52
Also By Dawn Hosmer
Acknowledgments
About the Author
To Alayna
You have the power to change the world.
You’ve already brightened ours beyond measure.
We are all sculptors and painters, and our material is our own flesh and blood and bones. Any nobleness begins at once to refine a man’s features, any meanness or sensuality to imbrute them.
~ Henry David Thoreau
Part I
July
Chapter 1
Sharp, angular brush strokes cover the canvas in garish shades of red, orange, yellow, purple, blue, and green. I stand back to examine the painting now that I’m confident it is complete. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust and see past the colors, but all at once it comes into crystal clear focus. I’ve painted Liam with his boyish face twisted in agony. Something black, like a club, plummets toward his head.
I stumble backwards into a chair. What the hell did I just paint, and why? Bile rises in my throat as my mind searches for a way to make sense of it. A thought from nowhere reverberates through my mind—Liam is in danger. Someone is going to kill him.
“Jonas!” I shout.
“You okay?” He stumbles into the studio, rubbing sleep from his eyes.
I point at the painting without saying a word.
Jonas squints and moves closer. “It looks nice.”
My throat is so thick that I can barely spit out the words. “Do you not see what it is?”
Again, he rubs his eyes and peers closer before shaking his head. “You woke me up so I can’t see too clearly yet. The way you screamed—I thought something was wrong with you.”
I inhale a shaky breath. “Something is wrong. That’s Liam. Someone is going to kill him.”
Jonas leans over the back of the chair and wraps his arms around me. “Tess, honey, it’s late. You’re tired. I don’t see Liam. Please come to bed.”
Maybe he’s right. I’ve been working hard lately to get commissioned paintings out, and the lack of sleep must be getting to me. “Okay, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
Jonas kisses me on top of my head and goes back to bed. Before I can sleep, I need this painting out of my house. My heart pounds so hard as I carry it downstairs. I glance at it one more time before heaving it into the outside trash can and slam the lid closed as a shiver races up my spine. I haven’t thrown many of my paintings away, but this one must go. Chaundra can never see it—she’d immediately recognize her son’s face.
Before heading upstairs, I chug a glass of water. Some sloshes over the edge because my hands are so shaky. I haven’t been in that type of painting trance for a long time—back to when I used to have the flashes—one so deep that I have no knowledge of what I’ve painted until I’m finished.
As I undress and climb into bed, I debate whether I should mention the painting to Chaundra this weekend at Lily’s birthday party but decide it’s probably best if I don’t. Like Jonas said, I’m just overly tired. But why did I have the distinct feeling that someone was after Liam, intent on killing him?
I curl around Jonas and tell myself to stop obsessing over a silly painting that doesn’t mean anything. Questions continue to creep into my thoughts. Why did I use those particular colors? Why did Liam’s panic and fear race through my body? Who was holding that club?
I repeat it was only a painting over and over in my mind until finally, Jonas’ warmth pulls me into sleep.
Chapter 2
“… Happy Birthday, dear Lily. Happy Birthday to you!” the off-key chorus sings, while Lily sits beaming in front of her princess cake with eight candles. Liam stands next to her, singing at the top of his lungs. A shiver works its way through me, remembering my painting, and his face contorted in pain. I shake my head to clear the memory of the painting.
How is Lily eight already, and Liam almost a teenager? These past five years have flown by. Sometimes it feels like Chaundra and the kids have been a part of my life forever, but then other times, like now, I’m reminded that I’ve only known them for a short time. This found family of mine, including Jonas, has made my life complete. They all love and accept the real me. The person who was hidden beneath all the bits and pieces I’d picked up from other people through the years.
“Don’t forget to make a wish, honey!” Chaundra says and squeezes Lily’s shoulder. Her voice pulls me back to the room.
Lily closes her eyes for a second and blows all the candles out with one breath.
“What did you wish for Lily?” I ask, stooping down to look in her eyes.
“You know I can’t tell you that, Aunt Tessa. Not if I want it to come true.”
I stick out my bottom lip in a fake pout. “Well, okay then. Can I at least have a birthday hug since you won’t share your wish?”
Lily giggles and throws her arms around my shoulders. I kiss her on the cheek, and she stiffens in my arms. I pull back to see what’s wrong. She’s staring at me, but she’s somewhere far away.
“Hey, Lily. Earth to Lily!” I snap my fingers in front of her face. She finally blinks and smiles, but it seems forced. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Her eyes shift around the room as she nods. She leans close and whispers. “Can you, Jonas, and Mommy come in my room a minute?”
“But honey, all your friends are here. It’s your party—you can’t leave.”
“It’ll just take a second,” she says and bounds over to where Chaundra scoops ice cream for all the party goers.
I work my way through the sea of children to Jonas. He’s in the back corner of the kitchen talking to one of the other kids’ dads. As soon as he glimpses me, his face breaks into a smile.
“Hi there, beautiful!” He grabs me by the hand and pulls me close.
I turn toward the gentleman standing with him. “Could you excuse us for a moment?”
“Sure thing. I need to get some cake anyway! Nice talking with you, Jonas!” he says and walks away.
“What’s up, Tess?”
“Lily said she needs to talk to us and Chaundra in her bedroom for a second.”
Jonas’ brow wrinkles in confusion. He holds out his hand to indicate the kitchen full of children. “Right now?”
“That’s what I said, but she promises it will only take a second.” I shrug and grab his hand.
When we get to Lily’s room, she and Chaundra are already sitting on her bed. Chaundra looks like she’s been attacked by an ice cream monster with bits of it drying all the way up her arms. Her hair is coming out of her braid, and she seems plain worn out. I can’t help but laugh.
“Yeah, I know. I know. I’m a hot mess!” Chaundra chuckles as she smooths down her hair. “Okay, Lil, spill it. We’ve got a house full of people.”
“Well, I’ve got some good news.” Lily grins and turns to Jonas and me.
“Okay…” I say slowly, more confused than ever.
She jumps up from the bed and smiles. “You’re gonna have a baby!”
“What? How…” I say as my hand instinctively goes to my stomach.
“Are you serious, Lily?” Jonas asks, resting his hand on top of mine.
She nods. “I know when, too, and whether it’s a girl or boy. Do you wanna know?”
Chaundra grabs her by the arm. “No, little miss! Keep that to yourself unless they want to know.” Chaundra eagerly scrutinizes us with raised eyebrows. “Do you want to know?”
I gaze at Jonas, and he shakes his head, which is a relief. I want to do all this the normal way, other than having a psychic little girl tell me I’m pregnant.
Tears fill my eyes. I am pregnant. We are going to have a baby.
“Just tell me one thing. How far along am I?” As I think back, I realize I’m at least two weeks late for my period. They’ve always been so irregular, though, especially now that I’m off the pill.
“Not very,” Lily says. “When you hugged me, I knew.”
Jonas pulls me into his arms and kisses me.
“Congratulations, guys! Lily and I will give you a few minutes alone.” Chaundra grabs Lily’s hand, and they both stop to give us hugs on the way out of the room.
Once the door closes, Jonas pulls me back into his arms, and we stand in stunned silence for a few moments. Chaundra and Lily talk quietly on the other side of the closed bedroom door. I can’t make out most of the words but hear Chaundra say one thing clearly—do not tell them. Do you understand?
“A baby! We’re going to have a baby!” Jonas whoops, drowning out their voices. “Are you ready to be a mommy?”
Lily’s declaration hits me again. A baby! Tears of joy spill down my cheeks. “You know I am! What about you, Daddy?”
“There is nothing in the world that will make me happier.”
After a few minutes, we head back downstairs to the festivities. My mind swarms with all the things I need to do. Make a doctor’s appointment. Decorate a nursery. Pick out baby names. Find out what else Lily saw during our hug. And what she is not supposed to tell me.
Chapter 3
“Hey! Why so quiet?” Jonas squeezes my hand and draws my attention back inside the car instead of into the darkened tree line.
“Huh? Oh, sorry. Just thinking.”
“I’d say you were lost somewhere deep in thought. I’ve been rambling on over here, and I’d venture to say you didn’t hear a word,” Jonas says with a chuckle. “You okay?”
I don’t know how to answer this question honestly. Am I? A million thoughts swirl around in this brain of mine, and I don’t think I can verbalize it in a way that will make any sense.
“Yeah. I have a lot on my mind with Lily’s announcement.”
“All good stuff, I hope. You’re excited, right?”
I take a deep breath and twirl my hair around my finger. “I am, but I’m also scared, which I know is silly because we are ready for a baby. We’ve talked about it for the past year.” I pause and gaze out into the night sky. “I have a lot of doubts, too. First off, what if Lily is wrong? I’d hate to get my hopes up and then find out I’m not pregnant after all.”
Jonas laughs. “Lily, wrong? You know better. She’s not wrong.”
I nod. He has a valid point. She never is.
“What else is going on in that pretty little head of yours? I know that’s not it.”
“You know me too well.” I lean back into the seat and shut my eyes. “Okay, here goes. What if we’re not as ready as we think we are? What if I’m a terrible mother, like my mom? What if I can’t do this?”
Jonas pulls the car off the road and throws it into park. He turns to me and grabs my chin, forcing me to look him in the eye. We’ve been married for a little over two years now and those big brown eyes of his still make me swoon.
“Tess, honey. You are nothing like your mother. You will do a great job. No, scratch that… we will be wonderful parents. Remember how well you did with the kids at the preschool? They loved you! You’re a natural. We’re as ready for this baby as two people can possibly be.” He cups his hands around my face and pulls me close for a kiss.
I clear my throat several times. “There’s one other thing that’s bothering me. I heard Lily and Chaundra talking outside the bedroom door. I couldn’t make out much of what they said, but I caught Chaundra telling Lily to keep something from us. What did she see that she’s not telling us?”
Jonas slumps back against his seat and drums his fingers on the steering wheel. “Well, I’m not sure what you heard, but maybe it wasn’t about us or the baby. Or, if it was, and it’s something we need to know, I have no doubt that Chaundra will tell us in time.”
Even though the right words come out, his facial expression doesn’t match them. The exuberance that was there before this declaration of mine is now replaced with apprehension. I shouldn’t have told him. I don’t want him to carry the burden of worrying with me.
I force myself to smile. “You’re right. I’m sure I misheard them. It’s probably got nothing to do with us.” I lean over and kiss him on the cheek.
“How about you call tomorrow and get a doctor’s appointment scheduled? I think we’ll both feel better after that.”
“I will. Now let’s get home.” I pat him on the leg.
We ride quietly along the winding roads to take us to our log cabin tucked in the forest at the edge of town. I only wish my thoughts would quiet, too. By the time we pull in our driveway, I’ve decided that in addition to scheduling an appointment with the doctor, I also need to make one to see Ophelia. And schedule a lunch date with Chaundra to figure out what secret she’s keeping from me.
Chapter 4
The smell of coffee finally pulls me from bed at six, as the sunrise looms beyond the horizon. I barely slept last night as my thoughts were spinning around about a million miles per hour. One minute, I’d be elated about Lily’s revelation; the next, I’d be so full of worry I felt like I was going to puke.
I pull on my robe and slippers and make my way to the kitchen. My eyes feel like sandpaper. Jonas meets me in the doorway with a steaming cup of coffee.
“Morning, love!” He kisses me on the cheek. “You look tired. Did you sleep?”
I chuckle. “Whew! I was worried my tossing and turning kept you up all night. I guess not, huh?”
“Sit,” he says, holding out his hand toward the leather chair in front of the fireplace. “What was keeping you up?”
“Oh, you know. The usual. My overactive imagination and racing thoughts.” I take a drink of coffee. Every muscle in my body relaxes.
“Oh, hon. The pregnancy?” Worry lines fill the corners of his eyes.
I nod. “I’ll be okay, though. I’m going to get a doctor’s appointment and one with Ophelia. Since I’m almost done with my commissioned pieces, I’ll be able to catch up on sleep if need be.”
Jonas raises his eyebrows. “Ophelia? It’s been a while since you’ve seen her. Do you need me to go with you?”
Over the past couple of years, I’ve been able to cut back to seeing Ophelia once every other month or so. Those appointments were more to check in and make sure I kept the lines of communication open. Sure, there were a few times I went to her in freak out mode over wedding planning and my family issues, but I can count those on one hand in the past five years.
“I’m okay. And no, you don’t need to come with me. The thought of being a mother is bringing back some of those old, ugly childhood memories, I think. Nothing major but it may help me to talk through it.”
“You know, I’m always here if you need to talk, too,” he says with a wink.
