Broken like me : A Dark College Romance, page 1
Broken Like Me
A Dark Why Choose Romance
Sasha RC
Independently Published
Trigger/Content Warning
This is a Dark Why Choose Romance. There are dark elements and themes in this book which include: psychological abuse flashbacks, mental abuse flashbacks, and physical abuse flashbacks.
PLEASE be aware that there are chapters within this book that are told from the abusive fathers POV after the abuse, assault, and rape encounters with MFC.
There is a lot of flashbacks of child abuse, child sexual abuse done to the MMC’s, sexual abuse that the MMC’s witness. Also, be aware that there are other scenes of sexual abuse and rape that the MMC’s witness that is done to the MFC.
Sexual scenes that include breath play, dominate sexual behavior, submissive sexual behavior.
Other dark themes and elements include sexual assault, rape and physical beating done to the MFC by her father, foul language, violence including murder, and tortured, criminal behaviors including drug use, and alcohol use, and jealous, possessive, and controlling MMC’s.
This is a FMMM (female, male, male, male) type of romance, please remember that it is ‘why-choose’, without the choosing.
Please be advised that these characters are on substances, which means their thoughts are going to be messy.
This book is fiction. There are no real events or people inside this book. This book is all fantasy.
I want to make it clear that I do not condone anything that happens in this book.
Please use caution. You know yourself best. You have been warned.
It is advised that this book is for mature adults over 18.
SPECIAL WARNING - Please Read
This book contains topics and subjects that are very real and that people actually go through on a daily basis. Rape and sexual assault are things to take seriously.
If you or someone you know needs help or someone to talk to, call the hotline phone number below.
1-800-662- HELP (4357)
Please remember that you are not alone and that you matter.
Even though it contains topics of real nature, this book is all fiction.
Please be advised that these characters are on substances, which means their thoughts are going to be messy.
You have been warned.
Author Note
Hello, my fellow readers,
This is a Dark Why Choose Romance. This book dives right in from the start. Some things within this book might trigger and be uncomfortable for some readers.
Please remember that this book does not follow the rules. This book is heavy on the trauma and abuse. Please remember that this is not a blueprint of how people will respond to abuse, but for these characters, these pages tell their story, their trauma and how they deal with it.
All mental health diagnosis and symptoms inside this book are meant for the characters only, please remember this book is work of fiction.
This book does take place in an institution that is set up as a university. All characters that attend this school come from a dark, abusive, and traumatic past. Please be aware that this book does touch on topics that might be hard for some to read, which include rape and sexual assault by a parent.
PLEASE be aware that chapters within this book are told from the abusive fathers POV after the abuse, assault, and rape encounters with MFC.
Please be advised that these characters are on substances, which means their thoughts are going to be messy.
There are no true events that take place inside these pages. Please read the trigger/ content warning.
Kyle Maloney- Babe there are no words to describe how much I love you and appreciate you. No time amount with you will be long enough so let's start with forever. Thank you for being so supportive and guiding me and helping me make my dreams come true.
Kay-Author Assistant/Development/Alpha Reader: Where to begin. You have been such an amazing, strong foundation for me. Thank you for being my North Star and walking side by side with me through this crazy madness called life. I appreciate all the hard work you put into being my AA and taking the time to read my books. Thank you so much for all of your suggestions. I want you to know that you are appreciated. Thank you for being you.
Bri-Formatting/Development/Editor: Thank you so much for everything you do. Thank you for going through this crazy process with me. I appreciate you for all the long hours, hard work, and late nights and for falling in love with my stories as much as I have.
My ARC/Street Team: You are all so amazing. Thank you for signing up, promoting, reviewing, and always being willing to read my crazy stories.
To all my readers: Thank you so much for taking a chance, reading my books, and diving into my crazy, dark, smutty romance world. I appreciate all of you and could not have made my dream a reality without you.
Bretnie Shepherd: Thank you for being you, for staying up until 4 a.m. with me on the phone, listening to my craziness, and helping me come up with more crazy-ass ideas. Thank you for being my illustrator; you are absolutely amazing. I appreciate you so much.
Karen Prosser: For being my best friend, my soundboard. Thank you for always being willing to listen to all my new ideas for my books, giving me new ideas, and helping me with the character names. I couldn’t have done this without you. Thank you for being you.
Sunflower Downer: For always being there for me, making me laugh, and encouraging me to follow my dreams. Thank you for believing in me and always being there when I need you.
W.S.: You know who you are. Thank you for being one of my biggest fans. For helping me with cover ideas, book title ideas, character names, and plots, and keeping me on track. Thank you for encouraging me to continue to follow my dreams.
Jamie Williams: You are so amazing. Thank you for all of your support, for being inspirational, and for believing in me. Thank you for being my friend.
The Author Buddy: Thank you for the 3-D graphics, all of the new covers, and for going on this crazy ride with me.
Contents
Contents
Copyright
Prologue
Playlist
1. Davien
2. Linus
3. Heston
4. Chapter 4
5. Chapter 5
6. Nicki
7. Patrick Rollins
8. Chapter 8
9. Nicki
10. Patrick Rollins
11. Davien
12. Linus
13. Heston
14. Chapter 14
15. Nicki
16. Davien
17. Linus
18. Heston
19. Chapter 19
20. Nicki
21. Linus
22. Heston
23. Davien
24. Chapter 24
25. Davien
26. Linus
27. Heston
28. Nicki
29. Chapter 29
30. Nicki
31. Davien
32. Linus
33. Heston
34. Nicki
35. Davien
36. Linus
37. Heston
38. Davien
39. Nicki
40. Chapter 40
41. Nicki
42. Patrick Rollins
43. Davien
44. Linus
45. Heston
46. Chapter 46
47. Davien
48. Linus
49. Heston
50. Nicki
51. Davien
52. Patrick Rollins
53. Heston
54. Linus
55. Chapter 55
56. Nicki
57. Davien
58. Linus
59. Heston
60. Chapter 60
61. Linus
62. Davien
63. Nicki
64. Heston
65. Chapter 65
66. Nicki
67. Davien
68. Linus
69. Heston
70. Chapter 70
71. Nicki
72. Davien
73. Linus
74. Heston
75. Nicki
76. Davien
77. Heston
78. Linus
79. Patrick Rollins
80. Chapter 80
81. Nicki
82. Davien
83. Chapter 83
84. Nicki
85. Linus
86. Chapter 86
87. Nicki
88. Heston
89. Nicki
90. Linus
91. Heston
92. Davien
93. Chapter 93
About The Author
Thank You
Broken Like Me
Copyright © 2024 by Sasha R.C.
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, recording, or otherwise) without written permission from the publisher or author, except for the use of quotations in a review, and as permitted by U.S. Copyright Law.
The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by fines and federal imprisonment.
Please purchase only authorized electronic editions and do not par
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Formatting/Development/Editor: Bri Arbelaez
Author Assistant/Development/Alpha Reader: Kaylea Fink
Illustrator: Bretnie Shepherd
Cover by: The Author Buddy
Prologue
Davien, Linus, Heston
Amessage from the Silent Knights:
There are those in this world that feel they are better than us, that they can do whatever the fuck they want and get away with it…that they deserve more because of the life they were given.
The world is wrong; those men are wrong.
We are the Silent Knights. The men that watch over those that need protection.
We are the broken.
We bring justice to those that can’t bring justice to themselves.
We are watching, we are waiting, we fucking see everything.
Nothing happens on this campus without us knowing.
For those that don’t follow the rules, they must pay.
Every behavior has a consequence.
We watch over our school, and we make sure that the students are safe.
After all, they call this place a university, but we all know what it is - an institution for people like us.
We are brothers, we are best friends.
If you go against our rules, you will pay with blood.
Tell us, is it worth it?
Is it worth dying for?
We are the broken.
There is a moment, a second in our lives that changes everything.
Once it changes, there is no going back to the way we were before…
This is their moment….
Their moment that changed everything.
Playlist
Your Guardian Angel
by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
This Is War by Thirty Seconds To Mars
Breaking Down by I Prevail
Addicted by Saving Abel
Middle Of The Night by Elley Duhe
Sub Urban/Two Feet by Patchwork
Mission by Dizzy
Aryan Shah by Renegade
Niteboi by U.
King Kavalier (feat. ChrisLee) by Bad Drugs
Play With Fire by Sam Tinnesz (feat. Yacht Money)
Cravin’ by Stiletto (feat. Kendyle Paige)
One Hope by Under My Sleeve
Dove Cameron by Boyfriend
Kehlani by Gangsta
The Weekend by Earned It
Nikki Idol by The Devil In I
Alissic by Piano
1
Davien
14 years old
I hear my bedroom door open and close. I don’t need to turn around. By the weight of the footsteps, I know it’s my father. My daily beating for the day is late today. The sun has already gone down.
He’s not a person that’s normally late, so he must have been too busy. It doesn’t matter, either way, he will get it done just like he does every single fucking day. It started a year ago. He finally lost his shit with me and, since then, he makes sure to remind me how much of a disappointment I am.
At first, I didn’t understand what the fuck was going on, but now I think I’ve figured it out. I’m not the son he wanted, and this is what happens when you’re a fucking disappointment. This is what happens when you are born into the family I was born into.
I don’t fucking ask questions anymore, there is no use asking why he’s doing all of this to me. My parents don’t care about me, and they have made that perfectly fucking clear. I learned early on that everyone has a fucking dark side to them. We are all fucked up in one way or another and those that act like they are righteous are just fucking liars - liars hiding behind a mask they have created to fool everyone around them.
Some people have gotten pretty fucking good at hiding behind the mask they wear, and well, my parents are some of those people. The outside world thinks they know me and my family, but they don’t know anything. They don’t know what happens behind closed doors. Those doors are making me change, forming me into something I don’t even recognize when I look in the mirror.
I have always been able to see the difference in someone’s eyes. I have always been able to see if someone is innocent or if they aren’t, and most people are not. I can look into someone’s eyes and can see if they are abusers, if they are someone that feeds off of the pain and fear of others, and my father is one of those people. He wants to see and hear how what he’s doing is affecting me or whoever the fuck he’s hurting.
My father needs that reaction. In a weird fucking way, I think it’s the one thing that helps him feel, because when he’s not hurting me or others, I honestly don’t think he feels shit. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. He is the most selfish person I have ever met. He brings being a cold-hearted monster to a whole new fucking level.
This is my life; this is the result of me being born. The thing that my father doesn’t realize is that he’s creating a fucking monster, and one day, I will let the monster out of the motherfucking cage. It may not be today or even for years, but one day I will get my revenge on what he has done and what my mother hasn’t done. She’s sat back and watched it all happen as if it were the most normal thing in the whole fucking world.
Is this how mothers really are? What is the point of having children if you can’t fucking love them? Is this in fact love?
If this is how it’s supposed to be, then I don’t want any fucking part of it.
“Are you ready, son?” my father asks from behind me.
I continue to look out the window, lowering my hands to my sides. I used to fight back and that only gave me more pain. I learned that if I shut my mouth, say ‘yes sir’, and take it like a man, as he puts it, it’ll be over quicker, and I could get on with the rest of my day… until tomorrow. The crying, the begging, and the screaming only fueled him to keep going.
“Yes sir,” I state calmly.
No matter how many times he beats me like this, it’s still a fucking surprise when it actually starts. Once he’s done, the routine afterwards is the same. I’m knocked out for a little while, I struggle to get up, and I stumble into the bathroom. Once I get myself sturdy, I look in the mirror and see and feel the darkness and rage growing. I take a shower and leave the house to meet up with my brothers.
We fuck women, get high, and sit in silence as we process the abuse and trauma we suffered throughout that day. It’s a never-ending fucking cycle of insanity, but it’s my life. I know that I don’t deserve what my father is doing to me, but I know that it will make me into the man I will be one day.
I’ve promised myself that I will never let another person go through what I’m going through, so if my brothers and I can stop those that hurt others, we will, and then we’ll fucking make them suffer. One thing I have learned is that I can use my pain and hurt to fuel me to get revenge, if not on my father right now, then on other people.
Is it wrong to think this way?
Probably, but then again, I’ve never cared what others have thought of me. I stopped fucking caring a year ago, when my father showed me who he really was.
Everything that we go through this year will be the start of everything we become in the future, and I can tell you now, the world is not ready for us. They won’t be prepared to see what they have created, but we will make them see exactly what type of men they made us become. The revenge will be fucking worth it.
When people say we are products of our environment, I never believed it until a year ago. I can see me and my brothers slowly changing. We have always been different, but now we are even more so. When you are survivors of abuse, if you want to put it that way, it fucking changes you. And you can either allow it to fucking break you, or you can use it to change into something else, something that no one can ever hurt again.
We like the second option. We have never been good at emotions or allowing people to see our pain. The only ones we truly trust is each other. It has been that way since we were kids and once the abuse started to happen to all of us, we all became closer and closer.
We don’t talk about what we’ve been going through, but with each other, we don’t have to, we just fucking know, we can feel each other’s pain.
