Buried (Heavy Hearts Book 3), page 5
Now Ringo, still looking as scary as that first night I met him, walks us through the dingy halls of Melbourne Public so I can visit Muz. As I walk hand in hand with Ayden, I avoid my mum’s gaze, knowing that she must be about to pee her pants in the presence of Ringo. It’s kind of funny, really, and I bet she’s realising how much she doesn’t even know me. I bet I’ll get a lecture later on about the company I keep.
Coming to stop in front of a mint-coloured door, Ringo turns to me, and I’m surprised that I can tell he’s smiling behind all of that facial hair.
“I told him you were coming, Lexi. He wanted to speak with you alone, but if you don’t feel comfortable in there alone with him, he can eat shit.” Ringo mumbles, his deep voice matching his tough exterior.
I shake my head and grin. “I’d rather speak with him alone.”
“Lex?” Ayden asks with concern, but I slip my hand from his and look up into his ocean blues.
“I need to speak with him alone. It’s okay. He’s not a threat to me.”
“I know, beautiful, but he’s not in a good way. He’s pretty sick.” Ayden’s kind heart almost makes it hard to argue. He cares so much, especially about me.
My eyes instantly glaze over. “I know. I need to do this alone, though.” I give his hand a little squeeze, “I’ll be okay.”
“Uh, excuse me. What do you mean, he’s not a threat to you?” My mum’s concerned tone gains our attention, and I sigh.
It would be easier if she weren’t here. I know I shouldn’t think that way. She is my mum, after all, but she hasn’t been a very good one, and I’ve had to learn how to survive without her. Her presence makes me feel like I have to explain my actions all the time, which I’m not used to.
“It’s nothing, mum. Can you just sit over there and wait for me, please? I’ll try not to be long.”
I gesture to the row of chairs down the hall, hoping my tone doesn’t sound ungrateful or bitchy.
“Mrs West, let’s take a seat.” Ringo snags my mum’s attention, and I wait for her to flinch or curl her lip at his appearance in disgust, but she doesn’t. She surprises us all by linking her arm with his and lets him lead her away down the hall.
“What the fuck is happening right now?” I ask.
“Lexi.” Andrea whispers, and I drag my eyes from my mum and Ringo to her, “Language.”
“Oh. Sorry.” I cringe, and she laughs.
“Take your time, honey.” Andrea gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze before following Ringo and Ruth.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come in with you?” Ayden asks, tucking my hair behind my ear before leaning down to kiss my cheek. I nod, wanting nothing more than to turn my head and catch those lips in mine. But there’s a time and place, and this sure as shit isn’t it.
“I’m sure.” I take his hand and give it another squeeze.
“I’ll be right here.” Not caring where we are, Ayden claims my lips in a kiss that reminds me of how much he craves me, and my body instantly heats. It’s a brief kiss, but it’s also a reminder of how much I crave him, too. I shake my head at him and his ability to make me as needy as a crack whore, and I reluctantly turn from him and push the door open.
The room is bigger than the one I’d occupied across the city, and along one wall, there’s a large window with nurses on the other side monitoring the room.
“Pretty girl.” The gravel of Muz’s voice shocks me a little. It’s filled with ten percent playfulness and ninety percent exhaustion.
Glancing at the bed, I step towards it, taking Muz in. The hospital gowns are white here, and Muz doesn’t look so tough wearing it in the little bed he occupies with tubes and cords running from his body.
I can’t speak at first as hot drops roll down my cheeks, but then I read the sign above his bed, and my lips spread into a grin.
“Bobby Musgrove. That’s your name?”
His lip lifts on one side, and his dark eyes blink slowly, full of drowsiness.
“You tell anyone that, and I’ll smack that fine arse of yours.”
I roll my eyes. “I’d like to see you try. You can barely keep your eyes open.”
His head moves in a slight nod. “There’s that sassy mouth. I’m glad you’re okay, Pretty Girl. You had me worried there for a while.”
I can’t help it; I sob like a little girl that can’t control her emotions.
“Come here.” Normally Muz demands things, but his tone is anything but, and I step up to the bed to take the hand he tries to lift to me.
“Thank you for what you did,” I whisper.
Slowly, Muz uses his tongue to wet his cracked lips before he speaks again. “No need to thank me, Pretty Girl. I didn’t get the job done.”
My brows shoot up. “You stopped him from finishing what he started. That’s enough.”
“No. I should have killed him. That would have been enough.”
“It’s okay. He’ll get what’s coming to him.” I say, and he frowns.
“You think?” He slurs.
“Yes,” I say with more confidence than I have. “Next time he comes for me, I’ll be better prepared. He won’t get away with it again.”
Muz chuckles slowly. “And how are you going to be better prepared, Pretty Girl?”
“I was kind of hoping you could give me some pointers?”
“You want me to tell you how to kill your brother?” His voice is a little stronger this time.
“Well, I just want to stop him, so yes, if that’s what it will take to end this, then I need to know how to do that.” I nod. “He hurt my little neighbour. He needs to pay for what he did to her. If I’m left with no choice, then I will fucking kill him myself!”
The smile that slowly spreads across Muz’s face is menacing.
“You’re gonna make me hard speaking like that.”
“For fuck's sake Bobby.” I tease, and he glares before he grins.
“I think I like hearing you say my real name.”
“Dude!” I scold, and he chuckles slowly again.
“Such a firecracker.” He lets go of my hand and raises his arm slowly, like it weighs a ton, pointing to a bag on the floor. “In the front pocket of that bag.”
It’s all he says before his hand flops to the bed in exhaustion, so I go to the bag and open the front pocket, pulling out the only thing in it. It’s cold and heavy, and when I turn back to Muz, the dull light reveals that it’s a knife of some sort.
“It’s a butterfly knife. It’s yours.” He grunts out before coughing a little.
“What? I can’t take this.” Even as I say the words, I realise I want the knife. I like the way it feels in my palm. The cold metal is begging for me to hold it tight, and its weight tells me how much damage it can do.
“My gift to you.” Muz slurs again.
“How many people have you stabbed with this?” I ask, genuinely curious.
“Too many.” It’s a simple reply but powerful enough for me not to want to ask more questions.
“Stab up, under the ribs.” His hand lifts from the bed, and he tries to show me the stabbing action, but his arm is too tired and heavy. “Or into the side of the neck,” he points to his neck, “into the jugular.” He moves his hand down his body, which is covered in a thin blanket, “Or the femoral vein near the groin.”
I nod, trying to ignore my disbelief that Muz actually knows how to do this. I knew he was dangerous, but I kind of hoped he was all talk and no action.
“Okay.”
“Your body can be used as a weapon if you have nothing else to use. Use your fingers. Dig into the eye sockets, throat, anywhere and everywhere. Bite. Your teeth are sharp. Use them.”
“Okay,” I say again, committing everything he says to memory and remembering that I have already used my teeth to fight off Mike. Basic instinct, perhaps?
Muz chuckles again. “Pretty Girl. Maybe just let the cops catch him.”
“You don’t think I can kill him if I need to?”
“I think it will be a miracle if you can fight him off. I’m a crazy motherfucker, Lexi. But he’s a different kind of crazy.” Muz coughs again, and a nurse comes in from the side door, so I slip the butterfly knife into my hoodie pocket.
“I should let you rest.” I move to step away from the bed, but Muz grabs my wrist.
“Put my number in your phone. We need to talk more about this.”
I nod, taking out my phone and save the number he reels off.
“See you soon, okay.” I insist as I walk back towards the door, taking in the frail sight of the scary gang leader. Fuck, I wish he was all scary right now. What I wouldn’t give to have him throwing his weight around like he rules the world.
“Sure thing, firecracker.” Muz offers me a weak smile before I quickly turn to leave, hoping he didn’t see my welling tears.
When I step out of Muz’s room, Ayden is waiting and immediately pulls me to his chest as I let the tears fall. Muz may have done bad shit in his life, and yes, I wanted him dead not long ago for what he did to Ayden, but now, I don’t want him to die. I want that smart arse infuriating guy back so I can slap his face and yell at him for getting hurt.
My emotions are shot, and I know that’s why Ayden didn’t want me to come here and see Muz, but I’m glad I did. I needed to see him. I needed to speak with him and thank him for protecting Val and me.
I stay tucked into Ayden’s side in the back seat of Andrea’s car as she drives us back to Peter’s apartment. My mum and Andrea chat away during the drive, but I’m too consumed by my own thoughts to listen.
I’m pretty sure Muz thinks I’m joking about killing Mike if I have to, but I’m not. At least, I don’t think I’m joking. If Mike comes for me again, and the only way I can get free of him and end this madness is to kill him myself, then I will. I’m sure of it. Muz is right, though. Mike is a different kind of crazy. It’s almost as if his level of crazy makes him stronger physically. I’m not strong. Not like him, and not like Muz was before he got shot. That’s why I need to be smart. I need to outsmart Mike or anyone that tries to hurt me.
“What’s this?” Ayden whispers in my ear, pulling the butterfly knife Muz gave me from my hoodie pocket. I’d been so side-tracked in my own thoughts that I didn’t even notice his hand slip inside the pocket.
Glancing down at Ayden’s hand resting in my lap, I take a better look at the butterfly knife Muz gifted me. It’s black, but silver peaks through the few scratches and dents on the handle and blade. It felt heavy in my pocket when we walked out of the hospital, but not heavy enough for anyone else to notice I’d been carrying it. The handle alone must be 4 or 5 inches long, so it must be a decent size when it’s unfolded.
“Lex, why do you have this?” Ayden whispers again, and I shrug a single shoulder.
“Muz gave it to me.”
I look up in time to witness Ayden’s brows reach his hairline.
“Why did he give it to you?” His voice isn’t a whisper this time, but low enough that only I can hear.
I glance back down at the blade in question, and for a split second, I think about lying to him. I can’t do that, though. I need to be honest with Ayden.
“For protection. He told me where to stab Mike if he attacks me again.” I admit quietly, peering back to his intense blue gaze.
“Where did he tell you to stab Mike if he attacks you again?”
I can tell Ayden is trying to be patient with me. The flare of his nose and the tick in his jaw tells me he is walking a fine line between staying calm or losing his shit and ranting at me for accepting the knife.
Leaning towards Ayden’s ear, I whisper, “Muz said to stab up, under Mike’s ribs or into the side of his neck. There’s a vein there or something.”
Ayden nods, “The jugular.”
“Yeah, that’s it. The jugular. Muz also said there’s a vein in the groin area too.” Even though we are speaking in hushed tones, I sneak a glance to the front of the car, making sure Andrea or my mum haven’t perked their ears up.
“The femoral artery.” Using his other hand, Ayden points to his upper thigh, near his groin. “It’s in this area.”
I frown. “How do you know about those veins?” I whisper.
Ayden hesitates a moment before he smirks. “My mum’s a nurse, remember.”
Fuck me, Ayden just lied to me. I don’t know how I know that, but I do. Sure, his mum is a nurse, but that’s not how he knows where the veins are and what they are called. I want to call him out on his bullshit and find out why he just lied to me and how he knows about that stuff. I don’t, though, because apparently, I’m chickenshit.
I offer Ayden a smile, which is fake as fuck, and I’m pretty sure he just picked up on that, but I move on, not ready to face whatever just happened.
“Muz reminded me I can use my body as a weapon, too. I’ve already used my teeth on Mike.”
Ayden’s jaw ticks again. His eyes look distant while he clearly falls into thoughts of Mike’s latest attack. His hand tightens around the closed handle of the blade, and panic starts to bubble to the surface. Is he going to take it away so I can’t use it?
I snatch my hand out and pry his hand open, quickly taking the knife from his grip.
“What just happened?” Ayden asks softly enough that our mums still can’t hear.
“It’s mine. Muz gave it to me.” The weight of it in my hand feels good. Like it belongs there.
“You thought I was going to take it from you?” Ayden asks, and I shrug. “Why would I do that?”
“Because you don’t want me to have the knife,” I answer honestly, keeping my eyes trained on my hand, clasping the black metal.
“I never said that, Lexi.”
“You don’t have to say it. I could just tell.” I whisper again, and the next second, Ayden’s fingers settle under my chin, tilting my head up so I have no choice but to look into his eyes.
“What’s happening right now, Lex? I feel like I’m missing something.” His eyes are honest and pleading, and I’m helpless not to be honest too.
“I don’t know. I’m feeling a little uneasy. Unsettled.” I frown, trying to find the right words.
“Insecure?” Ayden asks, and my eyes widen because he’s hit the mark.
“Yes.”
“Why?” Ayden’s dark eyes roam my face as if he’s desperately trying to find the answers there. I don’t know how to accuse him of lying without sounding bitchy, so I avoid his question altogether.
In my lap, I open the knife, trying to close both handles together, but I falter, and the exposed blade tumbles to my lap.
“Be careful, beautiful. This blade is sharp. You’ll cut yourself.” Picking up the knife, Ayden draws the handles together and flips the latch, locking it in place. “This is how you lock it in if you need to use it. This is the bite handle.” Ayden unlatches it and closes the knife. “The bite handle is the part that closes over the sharp edge of the blade to prevent injuries while carrying it.” He runs his finger along the bite handle before moving to the other one. “This is the safe handle which closes over the blunt part of the blade. That part of the blade is called the swedge.” Ayden opens the knife again, latching it in place and pointing to the blunt side of the blade. “It’s basically the blunt spine.”
When Ayden looks back at me, his eyes dance in amusement at the fish re-enactment I’m doing because WTF! How does he know all this?
“What? How?” I mutter, and he chuckles softly, glancing to the front of the car to make sure our mums are still preoccupied.
“I did an assignment on butterfly knives at my old school.” He shrugs like its nothing, but that just pisses me off because he’s just gone and lied to me again.
“Bullshit.”
His brows shoot up. “What?”
“You’re lying to me. You lied to me before about the veins, and you’re lying to me now about the knife.” Heat pools behind my eyes. I feel like I’m balancing on a rope right now. If I fall one way, it means I simply accept his lies and pretend like everything is okay, but if I fall the other way, it means I demand the truth and potentially upset the apple cart, so to speak. I don’t want to upset anything, but I can’t sit back and accept a lie.
“Shit,” Ayden mutters before snaking his hand to the back of my head and pulling me into the crook of his neck. “Lexi, I’m sorry.” He whispers next to my ear, “I’m just so used to keeping that stuff hidden from everyone. I didn’t even think twice about the lie. I don’t want to lie to you, but shit, I fucking hate telling you about who I used to be. I was such a fuck up Lex.”
I pull back, catching his eyes with mine. “All of you, Ayden. Remember? I want to know all of you—even your past. I won’t judge you. I won’t run screaming in the other direction. I just want to know you and what you’ve been through. How you’ve changed because I know you have. I know you’re not that person anymore, but I also know that time of your life, even if you want to forget it even happened, is really important.”
“How did I get so lucky to win your heart?” He whispers, a sincere smile tugging his lips up.
“I’m the one that got lucky, Ayden. But…”
“But?” Ayden asks, urging me to continue.
“If you lie to me again, I’ll dick punch you.”
Ayden throws his head back, laughing, this time gaining our mum’s attention from the front. I play dumb and shrug at my mum when she turns to look at us in question over her shoulder.
“I’m serious, Ayden,” I growl after my mum turns back around, and Ayden sucks in air, trying to calm down.
It takes him a couple of minutes, and all I can do is watch him, amusement dancing across my face.
“Okay. Understood. My jewels are on the line. Got it.” He tries not to laugh again.
“So, are you gonna tell me how you know all that stuff?”
That takes the smug look off his face. “The life I used to live was full of illegal shit, and naturally, that came with violence too. I had to learn how to defend myself and how to protect Dani.”
