Fire, page 42
‘I had hoped that you would prove yourself able to handle freedom responsibly,’ Diana continues. ‘Instead, you have abused my trust. I have no other choice.’
What is the significance of her pendant? It might easily mean nothing at all. Are there jewellery designers who think a triangle bisected by a vertical line is just the thing? Or is it really intended as the symbol of metal? If so, does it follow that Diana is a witch? Or is she bewitched? Could the necklace have something to do with her behaving so out of character?
The silver chain is very thin.
Minoo wonders if she can risk it. Then wonders if she can risk not to.
They are going to lock up Linnéa.
She has to do it.
Quick as a flash, Minoo reaches for the necklace. Gets a grip on it and tugs. The lock on the silver chain breaks instantly.
‘Ouch!’ Diana rubs the back of her neck. ‘It felt as if something bit me.’
She straightens up. Looks around, apparently confused.
‘Now, what were we saying?’ she asks.
She sees the pendant in Minoo’s hand and stares at it blankly.
‘Do you recognise this?’ Minoo asks nervously.
Diana shakes her head.
‘Do you know, I don’t feel so well,’ she says. ‘Maybe we should reschedule this meeting, things have been so stressful recently …’
She stops speaking, shuffles the forms on her desk and glances at them quickly, as if trying to work out what’s happened so far.
‘What can we do about the flat?’ Minoo asks.
Diana stares at her, as if just woken from a dream.
Linnéa gets up from the floor as soon as the door to Diana’s office opens. The butterflies in her stomach have razor-edged wings.
‘What did she say?’ she asks Minoo as soon as she is close enough.
The butterfly wings are beating more wildly than ever.
‘I think the matter is resolved,’ Minoo replies.
‘How do you mean, “resolved”?’
‘Let’s go outside,’ Minoo says. ‘I’ve got something I need to show you.’
Once outside, Minoo pulls the packet of cigarettes from the top of one of her ankle boots. She lights a cigarette awkwardly and inhales so deeply she is practically sick on the spot. Linnéa is jumping with impatience.
‘Now tell me,’ she says.
‘She was wearing this,’ Minoo says and discreetly holds up a chain with the metal symbol dangling from it.
It glints, reflecting the sunshine. Linnéa touches it cautiously.
‘Someone has been controlling Diana through the necklace,’ Minoo says. ‘When I pulled it off her she became quite—’
‘When you pulled it off her?’ Linnéa says disbelievingly.
Minoo grins suddenly, as if she, too, can’t quite believe she did it.
‘Seems that when I’m you, I take risks,’ she says.
‘I would never have dared to. Didn’t it occur to you how dangerous it was?’
‘I had no choice,’ Minoo says and drags on her cigarette, so deeply that tears come to her eyes. ‘They were going to lock you up in a home tomorrow.’
It pains Linnéa to hear this. But, above all, it is a relief to be reassured that she isn’t paranoid. There was a conspiracy against her.
‘What happened when you pulled the necklace off her?’
‘She was so confused she didn’t recognise it. And scared, too, really scared. I told her about the break-in, the same version you told the police. She said that she couldn’t think how she’d arrived at a decision so fast.’
‘But, tell me. What is she going to do about the flat?’
‘We agreed that you can keep it for now. I’m pretty sure she wants to forget about all this as soon as possible.’
‘You agreed?’
Minoo nods and has a last pull on her fag.
‘You’re right about her,’ she says. ‘Diana is all right.’
‘She believed you, then? I mean, me?’
‘Actually, she didn’t seem to know what to think about anything much,’ Minoo says. ‘But now we know that it wasn’t Diana who did this to you. Someone’s been controlling her. And we’ll find out who it was.’
Linnéa looks at her friend. And asks herself if Minoo truly understands how huge this is, what a fantastic thing she has done.
The kitchen windows creak and rattle in the wind. Ida can’t understand how Minoo copes with being on her own such a lot, all alone in this house.
Minoo’s father phoned to say he would be late and she’d better order a pizza from Venezia. He sounded apologetic, reminded her that he will be a better dad and make up for it when he cooks supper for her and Anna-Karin tomorrow.
Ida had almost managed to suppress all thoughts about that supper. She had a sudden vision of what a disaster it could be, with herself and Vanessa acting madly as Minoo and Anna-Karin, with Minoo’s father as the only one in the audience. For an entire evening. And immediately after the trial as well. So she told him that she had asked her friend Linnéa to join them. It would be good to have the real Minoo around to help her avoid the worst traps. And then she added that she had invited Ida Holmström, too. It felt safer to have her own body within sight.
Minoo’s father sounded so pleasantly surprised it was almost sad. Obviously, Minoo doesn’t have friends round a lot.
Ida pours herself a glass of juice and settles down at the kitchen table. Doesn’t dare look at the darkness outside the windows.
Sitting here, she feels so exposed. But turning the light off would be even worse. Ida nervously twists a strand of Minoo’s hair, so different from her own. Thicker, curlier and somehow rougher.
She wishes she could go to the stables, but has already phoned them to say that she’s got flu. It seems that animals can sense when something isn’t right and she doesn’t want to risk alarming Troja. Any of the girls in his fan club will be only too willing to ride him.
Ida lifts the glass. And puts it down again when she hears footsteps in the garden. They’re coming closer.
She gets up and tiptoes into the hall.
Most likely, it’s Minoo’s father who’s decided to come home early tonight after all, she tells herself.
But he drives a car, her panicky mind points out instantly.
If only her powers were functioning she might be able to sense who’s outside, but now she is as helpless as any non-magic person anywhere.
Feet are climbing the steps. And Ida remembers Minoo’s stories about the anonymous phone calls. And the broken windows at the Engelsfors Herald’s office. The threatening letters that Minoo’s father thinks she hasn’t found out about.
Someone rings the doorbell. Ida jumps.
Whoever it is carries on ringing the bell while she stands pressed against the wall. She doesn’t dare to move until she hears the steps walk away again.
She needs to make sure that the visitor really does leave and doesn’t sneak about looking for another way to get in. The house has too many windows. She hates it.
Ida hurries silently into the living room and peeps out from behind one of the curtains.
She instantly recognises the figure just stepping out into the street. His upright posture. The cap and quilted jacket he wore last year as well.
G.
She runs out into the hall and throws the front door open. The chilly evening air flows in.
‘Wait!’ she calls.
Gustaf turns round.
‘Hi,’ he says as he starts walking back towards the house. ‘I’m sorry if I disturbed you. Were you asleep or something?’
‘Yup,’ Ida says.
Gustaf’s expression is so different from anything she has ever seen.
‘May I come in?’ he asks.
The penny drops. Gustaf is nervous.
‘Of course you can.’
She moves out of the way.
Gustaf hangs up his jacket in a way that somehow shows he has been here before. The old jealousy starts gnawing at Ida’s insides.
‘Is your Dad at home?’ he asks.
‘No, he’s working.’
‘And your mum’s in Stockholm now, right?’
‘Yes.’
They just stand there. Their eyes meet. Both of them look away simultaneously.
‘Would you like to have a cup of tea or something?’ she asks.
‘No, thanks, I’m fine. I just wanted to talk. If it’s all right by you.’
‘Of course it’s all right,’ Ida says a little too quickly.
‘Sure. But … well, you know,’ G says.
No, she doesn’t know. The only thing which comes to mind is that she hasn’t seen Gustaf and Minoo in each other’s company for a long time. It would’ve been helpful if Minoo had included some info about her and G in her long list.
‘Yup,’ she says again.
She ushers Gustaf into the living room and they sit down on the sofa, side by side. She can feel Minoo’s ears go bright red the way they always do, giving away how she feels.
She is sitting on a sofa.
Alone with G.
Despite all the time she’s spent observing him, she has never before noticed the attractive colour of his lips.
Is this it? Will it happen now? Will it come soon, the moment when he kisses her?
Better not, she reminds herself grudgingly. She doesn’t want it to happen now. As far as he’s concerned, she isn’t Ida, she’s Minoo. And she mustn’t forget it.
‘I feel so ashamed that I can’t think where to start,’ Gustaf says. ‘I understand if you’re angry with me. I had a feeling you wouldn’t answer if I phoned. That’s why I came here instead.’
Ida just nods. She must leave this to Gustaf, let him talk. Sooner or later, hopefully she’ll work out what he’s on about.
‘You were right all along about Positive Engelsfors,’ he says. ‘PE is a cult.’
He looks at her, as if to watch her reaction. It is instantaneous. Her ears go several hundred degrees hotter.
‘I’ve felt lost ever since Rebecka died. But only now am I beginning to understand quite how lost I’ve been,’ he continues. ‘I so wanted to believe that PE could help make me whole again. Because you made me doubt them, I was angry with you. I want you to know that I have been very unhappy about the way I treated you. You used to be my best friend. The only one who really understood. And then I dumped you for … Rickard, of all people.’
Gustaf looks at Ida. His eyes are so beautiful. She wants to take him in her arms and tell him that she can forgive him anything.
‘It’s fine,’ she says.
‘It’s not fine.’
‘Yes, honestly. I understand that you broke down after Rebecka—’
‘That’s no excuse. I should have realised that there are no short cuts to being happy. Some things are meant to hurt. Perhaps I’ll never quite get over what I felt for her. I can face that now. And … well, that’s how it’s got to be.’
Ida does something that, as herself, she would never have dared to do. She takes his hand and holds it tightly.
His hand is warm and smooth, just as she always imagined it. Touching him makes her vibrate.
‘Right at the beginning, I had my doubts as to what they were about,’ he says. ‘But it is part of PE’s teaching that doubt is the great enemy, exactly the thing which prevents you from being happy. So I shoved it out of my mind. Thought the answer was to work harder on myself. Then, just the other day, Rickard said something that made me wake up at last.’
He uses his free hand to rub away an angry tear.
‘He said that the reason Rebecka killed herself was that she had opened herself up to the negative energies of the universe. That’s why she was depressed. He went on to say that the same thing applied to people who die in natural disasters or in war. It happens because they’ve tuned into the wrong wavelength … bloody sick idea.’
‘Yes,’ Ida says. ‘It is.’
Rebecka is someone Ida has avoided thinking about as much as possible. Now she can’t stop herself. Last year, Ida had hated her intensely. Rebecka, who had come from nowhere and stolen Gustaf. But now, Ida realises that she has never thought about who she was, as a person. While she was alive, Ida had seen Rebecka simply as an obstacle to getting Gustaf. And when she was killed, it was proof that Ida herself was in deep trouble.
Now, for the first time, she understands just how deeply Gustaf loved Rebecka. Which only makes her care even more for him.
‘Rickard has tried for ages to persuade me to join “the innermost circle”, but I’ve always backed away. I guess I didn’t want to know what they were up to. I have no proof, but I have a suspicion that the rumour going round about Linnéa Wallin … you know, I think they might really have tried to do something to her.’
Ida wishes that she could tell him what happened, let him know about Erik, but they agreed to stick to the version Linnéa had told the police.
‘Someone did break into Linnéa’s flat that night,’ she says. ‘She told the police.’
‘I could swear the inner-circle boys are behind it. I was in the centre that evening and they were definitely plotting something. I think they’ve lost all touch with reality. They think they can do whatever comes into their heads and no one can get back at them. It’s bloody frightening.’
‘But now you’ve done the right thing? And left?’
‘No, I haven’t,’ Gustaf replies. ‘I phoned Rickard a little earlier and apologised for the way I’d reacted. And said I’d like to join the innermost circle after all.’
‘But …’
‘If I get in, I can dig up information to pass on to your dad. He might publish it. Someone has to expose these people before everything gets badly screwed up.’
‘No, don’t,’ Ida says. ‘It’s far too dangerous!’
‘I’m past caring,’ Gustaf says. ‘The PE jargon is all about helping others but somehow all the benefits go to people who are already strong and “successful”. Just look at the members who front the organisation. Like Erik and Ida.’
Ida pulls her hand away.
‘Ida isn’t even a member!’
‘She was in the centre that day.’
‘I know, but just because she’s going out with Erik, that’s all. Was going out, I mean. It’s over between them. She was never really in love with him.’
Gustaf laughs a little.
‘It sounds almost as if you’re defending her.’
‘Why shouldn’t I?’
‘Are you serious?’ he asks.
Ida swallows. This might well be her only chance of hearing the truth. Not that she’s sure she wants to.
‘What do you think is so bad about Ida, really?’
Confusion replaces Gustaf’s smile.
‘But you know as well as I do. She’s totally false. She even bitches about her best friends. I honestly don’t think Ida has any genuine feelings. Except for herself, that is.’
‘Of course she has!’ Ida says and, by now, her whole face is glowing. ‘Of course she’s got genuine feelings! Loads!’
‘In that case she’s managed to hide them pretty well,’ Gustaf says.
‘I think Ida is … different now,’ Ida says. ‘She kind of grasps that she’s been wrong. At times.’
Gustaf looks searchingly at her.
‘Like, I think she’s trying to become a better person.’
‘Do you mean it’s true what they say about her backing Linnéa, instead of taking sides with Erik and his mates? Did she really?’
‘Yes, she did. Honestly. So, you see, she’s not all bad. It’s just that she’s had a hard time. It’s all been, like, too much. Where to start, though?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Where should Ida start? If she wanted to change?’
‘What about stop bitching? Ask people she’s insulted to forgive her? Though she’d better hurry up if she’s going to get round to apologising to everyone before she dies.’
Gustaf laughs.
And Ida bursts into tears. It is so sudden she doesn’t have time to hold them back.
At least, it isn’t she who’s making an idiot of herself in front of Gustaf, it’s Minoo.
‘What’s the matter?’ Gustaf asks.
Ida shakes her head.
‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ she manages to say.
‘Is this how you are when you’re glad?’ he smiles.
‘I’m glad because we’re talking, even if these are such difficult, sad subjects.’
‘I know,’ he says. ‘I’m glad, too.’
Gustaf puts his arm around her and pulls her close. And even when she stops crying, he doesn’t let go but carries on holding her.
In the night sky, the moon is hanging red and heavy, but its light shimmers like polished silver on the black surface of the stream. Minoo kneels on the damp ground of the bank. She looks at the face reflected back. The rippling water changes it constantly.
Suddenly, it is completely transformed.
Reddish-blonde curls frame a pale face. The eyes are closed. For a second, Minoo thinks it is Rebecka and reaches out to the image. Just before her fingers touch the water, the shifting outlines steady and she realises who it is.
Her face flickered past them during the seance.
Matilda.
She opens her eyes and looks straight at Minoo.
You showed great courage today when you broke the magic bond.
Matilda’s lips don’t move when she speaks.
‘Oh, you mean freeing Diana? Do you know anything about the necklace?’
An amulet. It was used to control her.
‘But who by? Who controlled her?’
To use an amulet in that way requires powerful magic. Whoever managed Diana must have been blessed by the demons.
‘But who is the Blessed One? The witch whose magic Ida felt in the Positive Engelsfors Centre? Is it Helena? Or who?’
It is concealed from us.
Two black feathers come floating along. Matilda’s face shivers when the feathers cross it.
The Blessed One has committed many crimes. You will soon become aware of them.
‘How can you know that, when you don’t know who the Blessed One is?’
Matilda only looks at her and Minoo feels increasingly frustrated. She has sympathised with the young girl who was Matilda once. But the Matilda who shows herself to them now has so little in common with a human being. She has been behaving like some elevated oracle all along, handing out the odd clue now and then. Is that what you become like after centuries on your own, with only the guardians for company?
What is the significance of her pendant? It might easily mean nothing at all. Are there jewellery designers who think a triangle bisected by a vertical line is just the thing? Or is it really intended as the symbol of metal? If so, does it follow that Diana is a witch? Or is she bewitched? Could the necklace have something to do with her behaving so out of character?
The silver chain is very thin.
Minoo wonders if she can risk it. Then wonders if she can risk not to.
They are going to lock up Linnéa.
She has to do it.
Quick as a flash, Minoo reaches for the necklace. Gets a grip on it and tugs. The lock on the silver chain breaks instantly.
‘Ouch!’ Diana rubs the back of her neck. ‘It felt as if something bit me.’
She straightens up. Looks around, apparently confused.
‘Now, what were we saying?’ she asks.
She sees the pendant in Minoo’s hand and stares at it blankly.
‘Do you recognise this?’ Minoo asks nervously.
Diana shakes her head.
‘Do you know, I don’t feel so well,’ she says. ‘Maybe we should reschedule this meeting, things have been so stressful recently …’
She stops speaking, shuffles the forms on her desk and glances at them quickly, as if trying to work out what’s happened so far.
‘What can we do about the flat?’ Minoo asks.
Diana stares at her, as if just woken from a dream.
Linnéa gets up from the floor as soon as the door to Diana’s office opens. The butterflies in her stomach have razor-edged wings.
‘What did she say?’ she asks Minoo as soon as she is close enough.
The butterfly wings are beating more wildly than ever.
‘I think the matter is resolved,’ Minoo replies.
‘How do you mean, “resolved”?’
‘Let’s go outside,’ Minoo says. ‘I’ve got something I need to show you.’
Once outside, Minoo pulls the packet of cigarettes from the top of one of her ankle boots. She lights a cigarette awkwardly and inhales so deeply she is practically sick on the spot. Linnéa is jumping with impatience.
‘Now tell me,’ she says.
‘She was wearing this,’ Minoo says and discreetly holds up a chain with the metal symbol dangling from it.
It glints, reflecting the sunshine. Linnéa touches it cautiously.
‘Someone has been controlling Diana through the necklace,’ Minoo says. ‘When I pulled it off her she became quite—’
‘When you pulled it off her?’ Linnéa says disbelievingly.
Minoo grins suddenly, as if she, too, can’t quite believe she did it.
‘Seems that when I’m you, I take risks,’ she says.
‘I would never have dared to. Didn’t it occur to you how dangerous it was?’
‘I had no choice,’ Minoo says and drags on her cigarette, so deeply that tears come to her eyes. ‘They were going to lock you up in a home tomorrow.’
It pains Linnéa to hear this. But, above all, it is a relief to be reassured that she isn’t paranoid. There was a conspiracy against her.
‘What happened when you pulled the necklace off her?’
‘She was so confused she didn’t recognise it. And scared, too, really scared. I told her about the break-in, the same version you told the police. She said that she couldn’t think how she’d arrived at a decision so fast.’
‘But, tell me. What is she going to do about the flat?’
‘We agreed that you can keep it for now. I’m pretty sure she wants to forget about all this as soon as possible.’
‘You agreed?’
Minoo nods and has a last pull on her fag.
‘You’re right about her,’ she says. ‘Diana is all right.’
‘She believed you, then? I mean, me?’
‘Actually, she didn’t seem to know what to think about anything much,’ Minoo says. ‘But now we know that it wasn’t Diana who did this to you. Someone’s been controlling her. And we’ll find out who it was.’
Linnéa looks at her friend. And asks herself if Minoo truly understands how huge this is, what a fantastic thing she has done.
The kitchen windows creak and rattle in the wind. Ida can’t understand how Minoo copes with being on her own such a lot, all alone in this house.
Minoo’s father phoned to say he would be late and she’d better order a pizza from Venezia. He sounded apologetic, reminded her that he will be a better dad and make up for it when he cooks supper for her and Anna-Karin tomorrow.
Ida had almost managed to suppress all thoughts about that supper. She had a sudden vision of what a disaster it could be, with herself and Vanessa acting madly as Minoo and Anna-Karin, with Minoo’s father as the only one in the audience. For an entire evening. And immediately after the trial as well. So she told him that she had asked her friend Linnéa to join them. It would be good to have the real Minoo around to help her avoid the worst traps. And then she added that she had invited Ida Holmström, too. It felt safer to have her own body within sight.
Minoo’s father sounded so pleasantly surprised it was almost sad. Obviously, Minoo doesn’t have friends round a lot.
Ida pours herself a glass of juice and settles down at the kitchen table. Doesn’t dare look at the darkness outside the windows.
Sitting here, she feels so exposed. But turning the light off would be even worse. Ida nervously twists a strand of Minoo’s hair, so different from her own. Thicker, curlier and somehow rougher.
She wishes she could go to the stables, but has already phoned them to say that she’s got flu. It seems that animals can sense when something isn’t right and she doesn’t want to risk alarming Troja. Any of the girls in his fan club will be only too willing to ride him.
Ida lifts the glass. And puts it down again when she hears footsteps in the garden. They’re coming closer.
She gets up and tiptoes into the hall.
Most likely, it’s Minoo’s father who’s decided to come home early tonight after all, she tells herself.
But he drives a car, her panicky mind points out instantly.
If only her powers were functioning she might be able to sense who’s outside, but now she is as helpless as any non-magic person anywhere.
Feet are climbing the steps. And Ida remembers Minoo’s stories about the anonymous phone calls. And the broken windows at the Engelsfors Herald’s office. The threatening letters that Minoo’s father thinks she hasn’t found out about.
Someone rings the doorbell. Ida jumps.
Whoever it is carries on ringing the bell while she stands pressed against the wall. She doesn’t dare to move until she hears the steps walk away again.
She needs to make sure that the visitor really does leave and doesn’t sneak about looking for another way to get in. The house has too many windows. She hates it.
Ida hurries silently into the living room and peeps out from behind one of the curtains.
She instantly recognises the figure just stepping out into the street. His upright posture. The cap and quilted jacket he wore last year as well.
G.
She runs out into the hall and throws the front door open. The chilly evening air flows in.
‘Wait!’ she calls.
Gustaf turns round.
‘Hi,’ he says as he starts walking back towards the house. ‘I’m sorry if I disturbed you. Were you asleep or something?’
‘Yup,’ Ida says.
Gustaf’s expression is so different from anything she has ever seen.
‘May I come in?’ he asks.
The penny drops. Gustaf is nervous.
‘Of course you can.’
She moves out of the way.
Gustaf hangs up his jacket in a way that somehow shows he has been here before. The old jealousy starts gnawing at Ida’s insides.
‘Is your Dad at home?’ he asks.
‘No, he’s working.’
‘And your mum’s in Stockholm now, right?’
‘Yes.’
They just stand there. Their eyes meet. Both of them look away simultaneously.
‘Would you like to have a cup of tea or something?’ she asks.
‘No, thanks, I’m fine. I just wanted to talk. If it’s all right by you.’
‘Of course it’s all right,’ Ida says a little too quickly.
‘Sure. But … well, you know,’ G says.
No, she doesn’t know. The only thing which comes to mind is that she hasn’t seen Gustaf and Minoo in each other’s company for a long time. It would’ve been helpful if Minoo had included some info about her and G in her long list.
‘Yup,’ she says again.
She ushers Gustaf into the living room and they sit down on the sofa, side by side. She can feel Minoo’s ears go bright red the way they always do, giving away how she feels.
She is sitting on a sofa.
Alone with G.
Despite all the time she’s spent observing him, she has never before noticed the attractive colour of his lips.
Is this it? Will it happen now? Will it come soon, the moment when he kisses her?
Better not, she reminds herself grudgingly. She doesn’t want it to happen now. As far as he’s concerned, she isn’t Ida, she’s Minoo. And she mustn’t forget it.
‘I feel so ashamed that I can’t think where to start,’ Gustaf says. ‘I understand if you’re angry with me. I had a feeling you wouldn’t answer if I phoned. That’s why I came here instead.’
Ida just nods. She must leave this to Gustaf, let him talk. Sooner or later, hopefully she’ll work out what he’s on about.
‘You were right all along about Positive Engelsfors,’ he says. ‘PE is a cult.’
He looks at her, as if to watch her reaction. It is instantaneous. Her ears go several hundred degrees hotter.
‘I’ve felt lost ever since Rebecka died. But only now am I beginning to understand quite how lost I’ve been,’ he continues. ‘I so wanted to believe that PE could help make me whole again. Because you made me doubt them, I was angry with you. I want you to know that I have been very unhappy about the way I treated you. You used to be my best friend. The only one who really understood. And then I dumped you for … Rickard, of all people.’
Gustaf looks at Ida. His eyes are so beautiful. She wants to take him in her arms and tell him that she can forgive him anything.
‘It’s fine,’ she says.
‘It’s not fine.’
‘Yes, honestly. I understand that you broke down after Rebecka—’
‘That’s no excuse. I should have realised that there are no short cuts to being happy. Some things are meant to hurt. Perhaps I’ll never quite get over what I felt for her. I can face that now. And … well, that’s how it’s got to be.’
Ida does something that, as herself, she would never have dared to do. She takes his hand and holds it tightly.
His hand is warm and smooth, just as she always imagined it. Touching him makes her vibrate.
‘Right at the beginning, I had my doubts as to what they were about,’ he says. ‘But it is part of PE’s teaching that doubt is the great enemy, exactly the thing which prevents you from being happy. So I shoved it out of my mind. Thought the answer was to work harder on myself. Then, just the other day, Rickard said something that made me wake up at last.’
He uses his free hand to rub away an angry tear.
‘He said that the reason Rebecka killed herself was that she had opened herself up to the negative energies of the universe. That’s why she was depressed. He went on to say that the same thing applied to people who die in natural disasters or in war. It happens because they’ve tuned into the wrong wavelength … bloody sick idea.’
‘Yes,’ Ida says. ‘It is.’
Rebecka is someone Ida has avoided thinking about as much as possible. Now she can’t stop herself. Last year, Ida had hated her intensely. Rebecka, who had come from nowhere and stolen Gustaf. But now, Ida realises that she has never thought about who she was, as a person. While she was alive, Ida had seen Rebecka simply as an obstacle to getting Gustaf. And when she was killed, it was proof that Ida herself was in deep trouble.
Now, for the first time, she understands just how deeply Gustaf loved Rebecka. Which only makes her care even more for him.
‘Rickard has tried for ages to persuade me to join “the innermost circle”, but I’ve always backed away. I guess I didn’t want to know what they were up to. I have no proof, but I have a suspicion that the rumour going round about Linnéa Wallin … you know, I think they might really have tried to do something to her.’
Ida wishes that she could tell him what happened, let him know about Erik, but they agreed to stick to the version Linnéa had told the police.
‘Someone did break into Linnéa’s flat that night,’ she says. ‘She told the police.’
‘I could swear the inner-circle boys are behind it. I was in the centre that evening and they were definitely plotting something. I think they’ve lost all touch with reality. They think they can do whatever comes into their heads and no one can get back at them. It’s bloody frightening.’
‘But now you’ve done the right thing? And left?’
‘No, I haven’t,’ Gustaf replies. ‘I phoned Rickard a little earlier and apologised for the way I’d reacted. And said I’d like to join the innermost circle after all.’
‘But …’
‘If I get in, I can dig up information to pass on to your dad. He might publish it. Someone has to expose these people before everything gets badly screwed up.’
‘No, don’t,’ Ida says. ‘It’s far too dangerous!’
‘I’m past caring,’ Gustaf says. ‘The PE jargon is all about helping others but somehow all the benefits go to people who are already strong and “successful”. Just look at the members who front the organisation. Like Erik and Ida.’
Ida pulls her hand away.
‘Ida isn’t even a member!’
‘She was in the centre that day.’
‘I know, but just because she’s going out with Erik, that’s all. Was going out, I mean. It’s over between them. She was never really in love with him.’
Gustaf laughs a little.
‘It sounds almost as if you’re defending her.’
‘Why shouldn’t I?’
‘Are you serious?’ he asks.
Ida swallows. This might well be her only chance of hearing the truth. Not that she’s sure she wants to.
‘What do you think is so bad about Ida, really?’
Confusion replaces Gustaf’s smile.
‘But you know as well as I do. She’s totally false. She even bitches about her best friends. I honestly don’t think Ida has any genuine feelings. Except for herself, that is.’
‘Of course she has!’ Ida says and, by now, her whole face is glowing. ‘Of course she’s got genuine feelings! Loads!’
‘In that case she’s managed to hide them pretty well,’ Gustaf says.
‘I think Ida is … different now,’ Ida says. ‘She kind of grasps that she’s been wrong. At times.’
Gustaf looks searchingly at her.
‘Like, I think she’s trying to become a better person.’
‘Do you mean it’s true what they say about her backing Linnéa, instead of taking sides with Erik and his mates? Did she really?’
‘Yes, she did. Honestly. So, you see, she’s not all bad. It’s just that she’s had a hard time. It’s all been, like, too much. Where to start, though?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Where should Ida start? If she wanted to change?’
‘What about stop bitching? Ask people she’s insulted to forgive her? Though she’d better hurry up if she’s going to get round to apologising to everyone before she dies.’
Gustaf laughs.
And Ida bursts into tears. It is so sudden she doesn’t have time to hold them back.
At least, it isn’t she who’s making an idiot of herself in front of Gustaf, it’s Minoo.
‘What’s the matter?’ Gustaf asks.
Ida shakes her head.
‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ she manages to say.
‘Is this how you are when you’re glad?’ he smiles.
‘I’m glad because we’re talking, even if these are such difficult, sad subjects.’
‘I know,’ he says. ‘I’m glad, too.’
Gustaf puts his arm around her and pulls her close. And even when she stops crying, he doesn’t let go but carries on holding her.
In the night sky, the moon is hanging red and heavy, but its light shimmers like polished silver on the black surface of the stream. Minoo kneels on the damp ground of the bank. She looks at the face reflected back. The rippling water changes it constantly.
Suddenly, it is completely transformed.
Reddish-blonde curls frame a pale face. The eyes are closed. For a second, Minoo thinks it is Rebecka and reaches out to the image. Just before her fingers touch the water, the shifting outlines steady and she realises who it is.
Her face flickered past them during the seance.
Matilda.
She opens her eyes and looks straight at Minoo.
You showed great courage today when you broke the magic bond.
Matilda’s lips don’t move when she speaks.
‘Oh, you mean freeing Diana? Do you know anything about the necklace?’
An amulet. It was used to control her.
‘But who by? Who controlled her?’
To use an amulet in that way requires powerful magic. Whoever managed Diana must have been blessed by the demons.
‘But who is the Blessed One? The witch whose magic Ida felt in the Positive Engelsfors Centre? Is it Helena? Or who?’
It is concealed from us.
Two black feathers come floating along. Matilda’s face shivers when the feathers cross it.
The Blessed One has committed many crimes. You will soon become aware of them.
‘How can you know that, when you don’t know who the Blessed One is?’
Matilda only looks at her and Minoo feels increasingly frustrated. She has sympathised with the young girl who was Matilda once. But the Matilda who shows herself to them now has so little in common with a human being. She has been behaving like some elevated oracle all along, handing out the odd clue now and then. Is that what you become like after centuries on your own, with only the guardians for company?
