One Verse Multi, page 16
“Damn, I was thinking it was some kind of underworld. Seems less scary.” Tidus sighed. Then he thought about it all. “Any decision? Really?”
“In ways. There’s a multi-verse where a Tidus agreed to go on a date with that one guy from his gym.”
Tidus looked scandalized. “I didn’t!”
“Not you, but another Tidus.”
“I can’t. He’s so…ew—get me on the phone right now. I need to talk some sense into me.” Then realization crossed his face, “How do you know that?”
“The answer’ll make you mad.”
“Try me.”
“We were spying on you—”
“You what?”
“I know, I know it’s not good. There’s a lot more. I think you have the right to decide if you want to be involved in all this.” I gestured to the multi-verse by sweeping my arm through the air. “You deserve an explanation, but I can’t do it right now. Get answers from Kiki. You’ll probably hate me for everything you learn.”
He nodded. I had seen that nod before. It usually came after the sentence: “Sorry, sir, your car repair is going to cost more than the car is worth.” Then his look shifted, but I couldn’t decide to what. I felt obligated to keep talking.
“I give Kiki permission to answer any question you have about the multi-verse or me or whatever. But I wanted you to hear this from me—I didn’t lie when I said I care about you. If this all weren’t the way it is, I would’ve never walked out of the bar or away from your invitation by the river. I would’ve never stopped texting. No matter what you hear or learn about me, that was always real.”
Tidus seemed to consider this. His expression was a mix of mad and scared and worried and elated and curious. He was going to have plenty of questions for Kiki.
“If I hadn’t just teleported—twice—I would call the police.” Then he thought about it. “Well, not the police, but someone.”
“Thanks. Also, it wasn’t teleportation. That’s when you move from one point to another in the same verse. You just visited a whole alternate reality. We call it tuning.”
“One where they carpet apartments in Fort Lauderdale,” he said, disgusted. “You would’ve really dated me?”
“I would. Um, well…even that is a little complicated. See, there’s another guy.”
“You’re polyamorous?” he asked, his tone too casual.
“Kinda. More like pre-polyamorous.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means displays symptoms but not formally diagnosed.”
He was biting his lip, trying not to laugh. “How long have you been with that guy?”
“It’s kinda the same as you. I work with him. I know I met you first, but I work for a top-secret organization, and I didn’t think you and I would ever see each other again. Then I met him and then you both kinda kept showing up.”
“Is it a love triangle, then?”
“Not unless one of you make me choose, I guess.”
He nodded. His nods were very telling. He had a nod for mad and disappointed, and he had a nod for amused but not amused. This latest one was pure scientific understanding. I could have just explained how the earth was round because of gravity and he would’ve given me the same nod. I felt suddenly like I had been seen, decoded.
“You can ask Kiki about that too. They know everything. His name is Luca, and he knows I have feelings for you. I don’t know why I’m telling you that, unless you want to know.”
“Is this the guy that came to the bar?”
“No, that’s Wei. He’s more like a brother. And I think he’s straight. Honestly, if mystery were a sexual identity, that would be Wei.”
Tidus smiled. “LGBTQIPA, why not add an M?”
“There’s not already an M?”
“Oh, shit is there?”
“I don’t know. I live in a dead-verse, and we don’t get the news.”
Tidus squinted at me, suppressing his laugh again. He had already figured me out, so his squint was probably to see if he liked what he saw. “You’re so…”
“Weird? Bad?”
Tidus relaxed. “I’m kind of annoyed by how charming you are.”
I laughed. “If I had a dollar for every time someone said that.”
Bowser nudged Tidus, nearly knocking him over with the force of his head. Tidus looked at the clock. “Shit, buddy. Sorry.”
He passed me and picked up a bowl off a stand on the floor. Then he held it up to a dispenser on top of the fridge. Dog food rained into the bowl. Then Tidus put powders and goop on the food and gave it to the dog. Bowser chomped happily.
The whole action brought Tidus closer. I was backed into a small corner the fridge made with a counter. Tidus stopped across from me, leaning on the island. He was still squinting. I looked at my shoes so I wouldn’t have to watch him decide if he liked me. Not that I’d blame him if he didn’t. Nor did I really expect him to know.
“You’re really going back?”
“Yup.”
“Really alone?”
“Yup.”
“So, you were bluffing about not being a hero?”
I shrugged. “Is it heroic if you’re sort of cleaning up a mess you helped create?”
Tidus looked like he wanted to ask about that. Instead he said, “So, if I ask enough questions, I might hate you in the future?”
“Probs.”
“Well, you better kiss me now while I still like you.”
I tried to regroup so I didn’t look as desperate and excited as I felt. There was a flutter in my guts. His feelings had always been so tangible. I could feel his interest in me from the first day. In a burst of movement, he stood, met me halfway, and slipped his hands around my neck. His thumbs brushed along my jaw as I turned up to meet his mouth.
And it ended too soon. I heard myself breathe more than I felt it. It was like a time release pill of lust and joy and fear and happiness, my body only able to react to his mouth on mine after we parted. I was afraid that when I looked at him again, I would only see regret, but it wasn’t there. Instead I saw sad confusion and warm pleasure in his eyes. I tried to think of something to say, but nothing came to mind. Fortunately, Kiki saved me.
“I hate stairs,” they gasped, a shopping bag hooked into their elbow. I bet they noticed me and Tidus step away from each other, but they didn’t say anything.
“You’re a saint,” I said.
Kiki gave me a look that was all venom.
“Right, okay, thank you anyway,” I said. “Now.”
I quickly shoveled my stuff into my backpack, including the remaining drones and my sequencer. As I zipped it, I carried the backpack over to Kiki. They didn’t take it, just watched with annoyance as I set it on the floor near their legs. I checked that the counterpart’s badge was in my pocket and stood in the middle of the room.
“I’m ready.”
“No. Look, I had time to think about this and I can’t,” Kiki said. They tried to hand me back my sequencer.
“You do it or I do. I just would prefer if they didn’t get their hands on our tech,” I said.
“Hugo and Luca are going to have my ass.”
“They’ll be okay,” I said.
Kiki growled loudly and pulled out their phone. “Fine, but I’m not going to your funeral.”
“That’s okay. I’ll survive this.” I gave them a wink and some finger guns for good measure. My laughter and unfounded confidence was the only way to make everyone believe it would work, to make myself believe it would work. I was scared shitless.
“Bye,” I said to Tidus. He just waved.
Kiki looked from him to me then to him. “Welcome to the fucking shit show, Tidus.”
“Thanks?”
Kiki flashed a fraudulent smile and held out their phone. They looked at me. “Tell me what to do.”
“Call up a single drone, set it to max power, attach it to me, set it to the dead-verse, then press call.”
I didn’t need to fill in any details. Kiki knew exactly what to do. They were probably just asking me for comfort. Or to have someone else to blame when it all went wrong. I took one last look at Tidus and at Kiki before the room blinked out.
Section 17
I call it negotiating
The Dugan universe, when it healed, if it healed, would look like the dark, starry pasture of this dead-verse, with tall grass and patchy trees. This was one of the first dead-verses Margo and I had visited. According to her, we were mapping, but I think she just needed to get on dry land. It was dry, but that was technically because it wasn’t the Florida area. The longitude and latitude on the planet were the same, but the ground beneath our feet was not. Some of the tectonic events hadn’t happened in this verse, so it was probably closer to the west coast of what most people knew as Mexico. I watched from the grass. The others were moving around and yelling at each other. It looked almost like a weirdly staged play.
“What were we supposed to do?” Carl shouted at Don.
“I’m starting to think there isn’t anything to eat here,” Justin said.
He was looking up at the sky as if the stars would drop a steak on him. I looked up at the sky too, thinking of that night on the roof with Mason and Luca.
“Why are you worried about food?” Josephine asked. “It’s only been like ten minutes.”
She was pacing perpendicular to Don’s path, forcing him to occasionally go around her. Don seemed to be the source of most of the damage to the pasture. He was marching around, swiping at the grass as he passed it. Carl took a step or two after him but didn’t follow all the way.
“I’m just trying to survive,” Justin said.
Margo and Hugo stood off to the side, distinctly away from the others. Well, Margo was standing. Hugo was crouching, his head barely visible above the wheat. It was time to get this over with. Or started.
“Hello,” I shouted.
All six counterparts turned to look at me.
“You,” Don screeched. He started barreling toward me, the grass whipping back as he slapped it out of his way.
“Hi,” I said.
I didn’t bother backing up. I knew coming here meant taking whatever he had to dish out. He stopped only a few inches from me, grabbing my shoulders. He jerked me hard forward and then shoved me hard back, shaking me. He was taller than me by an inch or two, and I was not a skinny guy, but he shook me like I was nothing.
“Get us out of here,” he said, his breath hot on my face.
“I can’t.” It was like he was shaking the words from me.
“Don,” one of the others said, but I couldn’t tell who.
“The fuck you can’t. You sent us here, un-fucking-do it before I strangle you.”
“I don’t…have…enough…” He tried to get his hands around my neck, but I squirmed free. I almost fell backing up. When I was far enough from him, I righted my clothes and flipped fallen locs out of my face.
“I swear,” Don shouted, trying to come after me. Justin and Carl got in his way.
“Come on, give us a second with him. Jeez, you can’t go around trying to strangle kids,” Carl said.
“Yeah,” Justin added.
“I’m not a kid.”
They all stared at me.
“I’m twenty-eight. It’s a blessing and a curse. Look, I came to talk, just like you wanted. So, get talking.”
“No,” Don shouted, “No more. You had your chance, now we’re leaving. Get us out of here.”
“I told you I can’t. I didn’t bring any of my tech. Better start liking yucca’s distant ancestor. We’ll be here a while.”
Don roared and charged at me. He was able to plow past Carl and Justin. He got to me in less than four steps, and before I noticed how close he really was, his fist was rounding on my face. It collided with my lower jaw and pain laced into my brain, turning everything black for a second. As I swayed and worked to get my bearings back, Don came after me again. No one else was close enough to stop him from landing another punch. I was knocked out after that.
* * *
When I opened my eyes, I expected an endless field of grass and a bright sky of stars. I saw a water-damaged plaster ceiling instead. It was unwelcoming, familiar, but with none of the comforts of familiarity. I blinked at the ceiling and thought hospital. The room had the usual array of beeping and dings. I tried to move my head, but the sudden pull of medical tape across my face panicked me.
And I couldn’t speak. No, that wasn’t right, I could hear my voice in my head and trapped behind my teeth. I pulled a hand up to try and uncover my mouth, but another hand caught mine—a huge white hand with short fingernails and a wristwatch.
“Bonjour, Martin,” its owner said.
I turned toward the voice, the tape pulling hard, but I needed to look at Hugo. When I couldn’t quite get my head to turn all the way, he stood and looked down at me. I knew right away that it was Counterpart Hugo. His hair was short but not without volume, piled like yellow fluff on his head. He was wearing a black turtleneck and light jean jacket. He looked so French, it hurt. I made some incomprehensible noise I hoped sounded like the fuck you I had intended.
“I’m sorry, Martin,” he sighed. “The doctors have wrapped your head. Don hurt you very badly. Your jaw was dislocated, but you’ve been two days under medication, and they say the splint will be removed very soon.”
I groaned and tried to bring my hands to my face. Again, Hugo restricted my movements. I couldn’t feel my face anyway. I mean, I could feel some of it if I thought hard enough, but I figured I was on some serious painkillers.
“Also, there’s broken ribs and hairline fractures, but those are healing too.” He smiled. And it looked so much like my Hugo’s that it felt genuine.
I took his hand in my left, turning it palm up. Then with my right I wrote into his palm with my finger y u?
“Ah, oui. Well, we found our badge in your pocket, and we were able to get some help. Don wanted to leave you there, but Margo and I thought you would talk to us. We brought you here.”
I had plenty of questions, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
* * *
“I doubt he’s up for this,” Margo was saying.
It had been a few days, and a few doctors had come to see me. They said I was healing fine, so they were unwrapping my jaw. Nothing had been broken, but the swelling was enough to worry them. I didn’t say anything and, unless my room was empty, I kept my eyes closed. When I was alone, I watched the TV mounted in the corner or I thought about my mom. Hugo had been in and out the whole time, always sitting quietly, sometimes reading. This was the first time Margo had come. I didn’t open my eyes yet. I just listened.
“He came to us, so why shouldn’t he be?”
“He just got the shit beat out of him,” she said. They were doing a poor job of whispering.
“Well, soon then.”
I could hear the clank of chunky shoes as Margo paced around me. “We don’t really have much time.”
I flexed the muscles in my face, scrunching it and un-scrunching it. I could feel more of it, mostly the right side. I could also feel the tightness in my chest as I breathed. It reminded me vaguely of top surgery.
“Margo, you can’t have it both ways. You can’t want him to give all the answers immediately and be worried that he’s too injured to speak,” Hugo said.
“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do.”
“Just,” I said. Speaking sent a dull ache around the left side of my face, like someone spreading pain icing on my face cake. I also wondered for a moment what kind of painkillers they had me on.
“Martin?” Margo said, coming over to the bed.
I was sitting up a bit more than I had in previous days, so I could see them both standing near my feet. I put a hand up, and she stopped moving.
“Just ask your stupid questions.” The words sounded slurred but were louder than I planned.
“I…it…how are you?” Margo asked, her face going from surprised to worried to compassionate.
“Fuck you.”
And much like my Margo would’ve, she smiled. “Fair enough. My God, that was risky. What the hell were you thinking?”
“I was thinking how nice it would be to have my jaw wired shut,” I said, closing my eyes again.
“That’s not funny. It was very stupid.”
“Call it what you want. I call it negotiating.”
She sounded annoyed. “This was all beyond what we were trying to do.”
“Does it matter?”
“Martin, we really didn’t know it would be this way,” Hugo said.
I didn’t answer. I just stared into the void of my own eyelids.
“Maybe tomorrow,” Margo said.
“I’m awake right now,” I said, opening my eyes to prove it. “Who knows, I might just sleep through tomorrow.”
Margo was wearing light tans and flowy cotton, her silver and beaded jewelry standing out like drops of color and refracted light.
“Well, shit. I don’t know what to ask first.” Margo scrambled for her bag on the floor by the door. She pulled out a laptop, pens, and paper. As she dropped items on the foot of my bed, Hugo moved them to the rolling tray they put my ice and water on.
I laughed. “Sounds about right. Who are you all anyway?”
“What do you mean?”
