The Keeper of Stories, page 25
He turns to look at her and she was right, his expression was just as she expected: “That fucking showed him, the twat.”
How do you tell a fox terrier that everything is ruined and they won’t be seeing each other again?
And Adam? Oh God, what is she going to say to Adam? This upsets her more than her own pain as she feels she has betrayed a child. And Adam is still such a child. She has to find a way around this. She knows Tiberius will never reconsider her position. Decius chose his side and there is no way back from that. But perhaps she could get Adam to approach Mrs YeahYeahYeah about dog walking? She doesn’t have to know that Adam knows her, and she will need someone to take her place.
“What’s wrong?” Euan is striding towards her before she gets to the start of the path to Fiona and Adam’s front door.
Is it that obvious? Or maybe the lifeboat man is an old hand at spotting trouble? She tries to form the sentences she needs but they come out as single words that make no sense. Euan steps towards her and folds her into him, wrapping his arms and coat (that would keep you warm climbing Snowdon) around her. As she sobs she can feel the fleece of his coat against her face, and his chin and cheek against her hair. But most of all, she feels the comfort of being held by someone she is falling in love with.
Eventually they untangle, having to spin on the spot to unwind Decius’s lead that has become wrapped around their legs. “We will find a way out of this,” he tells her. She would like to believe him but he has never met Tiberius.
She takes a deep breath. “We’ll see,” is all she can manage.
By now, Adam is in the drive and he and Decius are taking part in their bouncing, circling greeting ritual. This only makes her feel worse. She will just have to find a way for Adam to see Decius at the very least. She sees Fiona standing in the doorway and heads over to her. She explains as quickly as she can what has just happened.
“But that’s terrible.” Fiona puts her hand on her arm and she is struck by the contrast of how she feels compared to when Tiberius touched her. “Look, I‘ve been meaning to say something to you for ages and now might be a good time to tell you and Adam.” Fiona calls across to her son.
“Adam, Janice has been telling me that she might not be able to walk Decius anymore. She is hoping she can work something out so you can still see him, but I’ve had this idea. I’ve even spoken to some breeders. How would you like a dog like Decius?”
Janice can see the car crash coming before Fiona does. But then, she loves this fox terrier and she knows there could never be another dog like Decius.
Adam stands still for almost thirty seconds. Then he bellows, “What, and you think one day you could just get me a new dad too? Just buy me a new one. New dad, new fucking dog.” He’s shifting his weight from foot to foot. “What is wrong with you all?” Now he is screaming at them. Janice glances to her right and sees Fiona’s face is completely white and her mouth is open. “What is wrong with you people?” he repeats. “You never talk about Dad or if you do, he has to be some perfect fucking hero who never did anything wrong. Well, sometimes he was crap. Why won’t anyone just say it? Sometimes he let us all down. He couldn’t get up in the morning or couldn’t do anything ‘cos he was so doped up. But no, it’s Dad the perfect dad.”
He stamps his foot hard on the ground and it is part small boy, part furious adult. “Do you think I love him less because he was shit sometimes, or wouldn’t miss him if you said these things?” He spins around to Janice. “And no one ever talks about him. You … you,” he hurls at her, “I thought you might be different. I thought you might ask me about him.” Adam is crying now and she can see Euan plant his feet more squarely on the ground, and through her shock, it makes her think of a man steadying himself before a wave hits. “How could you think I would want another dog? And you think I don’t know why we never go into the woods? It’s always the fields or the meadow. What do you think I’m going to do? Find a tree like Dad and fucking hang myself? What is wrong with you all?” And with that he turns and he runs. He dodges past Euan and, with Decius fast by his side, he sprints as if his life depends on it. Janice watches as he puts as much distance as he possibly can between himself and the people who have let him down. In the stunned silence that follows, all she can think is that she is glad Decius is with him.
Fiona crashes down so she is sitting on the low garden wall. It is as if her legs have given out on her without warning. She starts to rock back and forward. The sound she makes is like nothing Janice has ever heard before; it is like listening to an animal in pain. She takes one step towards Fiona and then, uncertainly, one in the direction Adam has gone. Euan is suddenly at her side. “Let’s get Fiona inside.” He turns to the figure on the wall and crouches down beside her. “Fiona, come with me and Janice. We’re going to find Adam and help him, but first you need to help us.”
Her cry catches on her intake of breath and she looks up at him. He repeats, “I can help you, Fiona, but we need your help.”
She stops rocking and looks uncertainly at Janice. Janice takes her hands and helps her to her feet. “Come on inside.”
Fiona half stumbles with them into the house, and Janice leads them all into the kitchen as she doesn’t know where else to go. She sits beside Fiona at the kitchen table. Euan pulls another chair around so he can look directly at Fiona. “Now, Fiona, where do you think Adam would go?”
She shakes her head. It’s as if she has lost the power of speech.
“Would he go to a friend’s or is he more likely to want to be on his own?”
“He doesn’t have many friends,” Fiona manages and she starts to cry. Janice takes her hand.
“So he’s more likely to be on his own. Where would he go? He mentioned a field, a meadow, and a wood.” Fiona flinches at the mention of the woods, but Euan keeps going. “Anywhere else you can think of?” Fiona shakes her head. “Does he have a mobile?”
At this Fiona perks up. “Yes. Can we track him through that?”
Euan starts to say something, but Janice interrupts him. She knows what Adam’s mobile looks like and she can see it sitting on the kitchen dresser. “Not to worry,” Euan says to Fiona, and grabs a notebook and pen from beside the phone. Then he checks his watch. He quickly scribbles a list. “Fiona, this is what I want you to do.”
She looks up at him and Janice is torn by the look of hope and anxiety in her eyes.
Euan smiles at her. “It will be all right, Fiona. Adam is a sensible lad; he’s just upset and needs some time on his own. What we’re going to do now is just a precaution, okay.” He repeats, “He’s going to be fine.” Euan then shows her the list he has made. “Janice and I are going to do a quick sweep of the three places he mentioned. You need to stay here in case he comes back. We will all take each other’s mobile numbers so we can stay in touch. He checks his watch again. “Sunset is in an hour, so we’ll give it forty minutes maximum to look, then we’ll come back here. Whilst we’re away, I want you to complete that list for me and collect some things. We need a recent photo…”
Fiona looks up at him in alarm.
“This is just a precaution. At work they call me Checkpoint Charlie; I just can’t help being over prepared.” He smiles down at her. “I used to work for the RNLI. This is just standard stuff, but best to be on the safe side. We probably won’t need any of it.”
Fiona lets out a breath and nods.
“So, you’re going to get me a photo, write down a description of what he is wearing—”
Fiona interrupts. “He didn’t have a coat; he only had a school shirt on.”
“All the more reason why he’ll come back quickly,” Euan says reassuringly. “I also want you to list his friends – names and numbers. And any social media he’s on. Do you know his passwords?”
Fiona nods.
“Good. Then I want you to think of other places he might go, especially somewhere that might be important for him and his dad. Just list them down here.” He points to the notebook. “Right, we’re going to head off but we’ll be back in forty minutes, if not sooner. He won’t have gone far. And he has Decius with him. He won’t let anything happen to that dog, you can depend upon it. He won’t put him in any danger.”
Fiona looks up at him. “What was I thinking of? I can’t believe I was so stupid. I just thought…” She can’t finish.
Janice gives her a quick hug around the shoulders. “You were just thinking what would make him happy. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’ll work out; he just needs some time, that’s all.”
Janice follows Euan into the hallway. “So what do we do now?”
“Do you know where the woods are? I know the meadow and fields as I’ve been there with you. Would you be okay to go to the woods?”
“Yes, it’s not far,” she says.
“You’re sure you’re okay with that?’” Euan asks, suddenly anxious.
“Really, I’ll be okay.”
“Right, no more than forty minutes, then we meet back here.”
“What then? What if we don’t find him?”
“We call the police.”
“What, so soon? Don’t we have to wait a few hours or something?”
“No, absolutely not. We call them straight away. Adam is a child, he is distressed, and not dressed for a cold night. They have the manpower we may need.” He leans forward and kisses her swiftly on the cheek. “I said may need. I’m just being Checkpoint Charlie. And remember, I wasn’t kidding when I said he won’t let anything happen to Decius.”
They split up at the end of the drive and Janice walks and then half runs to the woods. Now she is on her own she thinks about all that Adam said. Why hadn’t she asked him about his dad? She had certainly sensed he knew more about his troubles than Fiona was prepared to admit. Why not ask him then? Had she not wanted to upset him? Or did she think it wasn’t her place as she was “just the cleaner”? She has been angry with Mike for seeing only the limitations and stigma associated with her job. Has she hidden behind it too? Don’t get involved Janice, you’re only the cleaner.
She reaches the edge of the wood and heads down the main path, last autumn’s leaves crackling underfoot. As the trail leads down she can see mist gathering in the hollow and this frightens her far more than the dark shapes of trees rising up each side of her. What if Adam goes down to the river? Could he lose his way, miss his footing as the mist rises? She calls as she walks, and occasionally roars “Decius,” into the gloom. She is past caring what anyone might think. She knows her dog would answer her. And as she thinks this, she feels part of her breaking. He stood by her side and defended her and now she has no way to even spend an occasional few hours with him. She stops this thought in its tracks. She needs to find Adam. This is not the time to feel sorry for herself. “Adam!” she shouts as loudly as she can, again and again, until her throat aches.
She heads off the main path, taking a spur to the edge of the woods that looks out over the broad Cambridge countryside. She knows exactly where she’s going. It’s one of the tallest trees on the small ridge. It’s the oak tree that Adam’s father, John, climbed before hanging himself. He chose one of the highest branches, so Janice presumes he must have stood on the branch for some time looking at the view. What had that poor man been thinking? Or maybe he’d been beyond rational thought? She finds the tree she’s looking for and circles it, hoping to see a crouching figure, arms wrapped around a small dog. Nothing.
By the time she gets back to the house, Euan is already there and is on the phone to the local police. Fiona is more composed and offers her a cup of tea and thanks. “You okay?” Janice asks her.
“Yes, Euan is being amazing.”
Janice has to agree with her. She’s too distressed to consider it now but she is aware that he is a man quietly in control. He is an ordinary man who is extraordinary. But isn’t that what her favourite stories are about? She is distracted by more people arriving in the kitchen. Fiona makes some hasty introductions. Euan has asked Fiona to gather any neighbours she can think of who would help in a search. They need to be ready when the police arrive. Without knowing what else to do, Janice starts to organise more cups of tea and to dig out thermos flasks and water bottles.
The next few hours stutter past. Sometimes there is a flurry of activity, sometimes things stall as calls are made or groups are reorganised. Janice has to hand it to the police, they are amazing – calm, kind and professional and – what she hadn’t expected – sometimes humorous, keeping Fiona’s spirits up. Nothing seems too much trouble and she gets no sense they are expecting anything but a good outcome. She draws Euan aside on one of his trips back to the house. “Do you think they’re worried?” It is now 11pm, the temperature has dropped, and the police cars and lights remind Janice of a crime scene. “They’re being very thorough,” he says, before heading out again. But she can tell by the tone of his voice he is anxious.
She hears the cry from the kitchen. It cuts through the night and she pushes past a neighbour to get outside. In the drive, Fiona is on her knees in the gravel, her arms wrapped around her son. Adam is bent over her and it is impossible to see where mother starts and son begins. They sway gently together. She can hear Adam’s voice repeating, “I’m sorry, Mum.” Standing back slightly from the two figures is Tiberius. There is no sign of Decius and Janice is suddenly afraid. The tableau abruptly breaks apart. The police surround the figures, helping them inside; neighbour turns to neighbour and the murmur of relieved conversation rises above the sound of police cars starting their engines. Figures wander across her field of vision. She cannot see a dog anywhere and she cannot see Euan.
Across the driveway she sees that Tiberius is looking at her. She weaves between the stragglers to get to him. As she approaches she can see he is rigid with anger. He doesn’t even wait for her to get within ten feet of him.
“You have been using a twelve-year-old boy to walk our pedigree dog whilst taking the money. Not only is that dishonest and fraudulent but it has put a valuable animal at risk—”
She stops him. “Where’s Decius?”
“He is back home where he belongs, but that is no thanks to you. He has been missing for over seven hours and you did not have the courtesy or decency to call us—”
Again she interrupts, her relief making her brave. “Were you in?”
“That is beside the point.”
“I called the house every hour to let you know what was happening but no one answered.”
“As it so happens, we were at a wine tasting—”
“Who brought Decius home?”
“The boy did.”
Ah, Adam must have read the tag on his collar. Euan had been right – he wouldn’t let anything happen to Decius.
“Was he waiting for you when you got home then?”
“Yes…”
“How long had he been waiting?”
“I neither know nor care. That is not the issue here.”
But it is an issue for her. She is distressed by the thought of Adam waiting on the back step in the cold, whilst Fiona was going out of her mind with worry. Of course Adam wouldn’t have known there was a key safe to use when no one was home that would have let him into the back porch and boot room. Her only comfort is the thought that Decius was with him. Suddenly she feels utterly exhausted. “Okay, the main thing is that Adam is home now and Decius is fine. So all’s well.”
“All is very far from well—”
“Look, all is well. You have no idea what Adam has been through.” Despite her overwhelming tiredness, she wants to make some push to help Adam. “He really does love your dog; he would never let anything happen to Decius. I can understand you no longer wish to employ me. But please, please would you consider letting him be your dog walker? He really is very sensible. I mean, he found your address and got your dog home safely.”
Tiberius blows out a sharp breath and shakes his head as if he can’t believe what he is hearing. “Is there something wrong with you? Are you a complete simpleton? You think I would entrust a valuable animal to that boy, just because you think it would—”
Janice suddenly holds her hand up in the air, all tiredness miraculously gone. She thrusts her palm towards Tiberius, as if she was one of the police officers on the drive and has decided to start directing traffic. Tiberius stops mid-sentence and looks from side to side in confusion. “Would you do me and the rest of the world a favour and shut up, you pompous arse!” Janice roars. Everyone around stops, as if playing musical statues. “I have to tell you, I have never met such a rude, arrogant, self-opinionated snob in my life. You are without doubt the most ignorant man I have ever met. And I was married to a complete imbecile, so trust me, I know what I’m talking about. As for calling me fraudulent, why, you are nothing but a common thief. You know it and I know it.” She spins around on her heel to look at the people on the drive, who suddenly burst into life. “And now they know it too.”
Tiberius has turned a deep shade of crimson. “That is certainly slanderous and I have a good mind to—”
Janice steps towards him and Tiberius takes a hasty step back into the flowerbed. “You just try me. You wouldn’t dare, you pathetic excuse for a human being. It is only out of respect for your mother, who is worth a hundred of you, that I do not tell you to BUGGER OFF!”
She spins once more on her heel and marches away, walking straight into Euan.
“Illogical ending but otherwise magnificent.” He is laughing. “And Janice?”
“Yes!” she shouts.
“Remind me never to piss you off.”
Thirty-Five
Words written on paper
This time the ceiling is the palest of greens. Janice is getting used to waking up in different beds. This one is neither too soft nor too hard and she thinks of the story of Goldilocks and the three bears. She is in bed on her own and she can’t quite decide if this is a good or a bad thing. By the time the house had been cleared of people and Janice had prepared bacon and egg sandwiches for Fiona, Euan, Adam, and herself it was 2.30am, and Fiona had insisted they stay over. She had taken Janice tactfully aside and enquired as to the sleeping arrangements. For a brief second Janice had been tempted, but now she is glad she opted for separate rooms – she thinks.
