Atonement (Guardians of the Void Book 2), page 1
Contents
Books by S.J. West
Acknowledgments
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Epilogue
Author’s Note
Next from S.J. West
About the Author
COPYRIGHTS
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
© 2020 by S.J. West. All rights reserved.
Cover Design: Danielle Fine of Design by Definition, all rights reserved.
Interior Design & Formatting: Stephany Wallace @ S.W. Creative Publishing co, all rights reserved.
Proof Reader: Allisyn Ma.
Published by Watchers Publishing February, 2020.
www.Sjwest.com
BOOKS IN THE WATCHER SERIES
The Watchers Trilogy
Cursed
Blessed
Forgiven
The Watcher Chronicles
Broken
Kindred
Oblivion
Ascension
Caylin’s Story
Timeless
Devoted
Aiden’s Story
The Alternate Earth Series
Cataclysm
Uprising
Judgment
The Redemption Series
Malcolm
Anna
Lucifer
Redemption
The Dominion Series
Awakening
Reckoning
Enduring
The Everlasting Fire Series
War Angel
Between Worlds
Shattered Souls
Lucifer and Amalie's Story
Surrendering the Dark
Descending into the Abyss
Guardians of the Void
Restoration
Atonement
Exodus
OTHER BOOKS BY S.J. WEST
The Harvester of Light Trilogy
Harvester
Hope
Dawn
The Vankara Saga
Vankara
Dragon Alliance
War of Atonement
Vampire Conclave Series
Moonshade
Sentinel
Conclave
Requiem
Circle of the Rose Chronicles
Cin D’Rella and the Water of Life
Cin D’Rella and the Golden Apple
Cin D’Rella and the Lonely Tower.
Cin d'Rella and the Messengers of Death.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to express my gratitude to the many people who were with me throughout this creative process; to all those who provided support, talked things over, read, wrote, offered comments, allowed me to quote their remarks and assisted in the editing, proofreading and design.
I would like to thank Lisa Fejeran, Erica Croyle, Misti Monen, Hollian Rickman, Barb Todaro, Keryn Aikman, and Nicoll Edwards, my beta readers, for helping me in the process with invaluable feedback.
Thanks to Allisyn Ma, my editor for helping me find typos, correct commas and tweak the little details that have help this book become my perfect vision. Thank you to Stephany Wallace for creating the Interior Design of the books and formatting them.
Last and not least: I want to thank my family, who supported and encouraged me in this journey.
I apologize to those who have been with me over the course of the years and whose names I have failed to mention.
(Jered’s Point of View)
People often say that time heals all wounds, yet some wounds turn into scars so deep and ingrained in a person’s psyche that not even time’s soothing touch can reach them. What I did to Silas—the monster I molded him into—was something he could never forget or forgive me for doing to him. After his mother died, I became more of a fiend than the creature my son was cursed to change into each night. His grotesque werewolf form was a living reminder of my eternal punishment from God. Every time I looked at him, I saw the beast who took my wife away from me forever. For centuries, I foolishly viewed him as a burden when he was actually her final gift to me. Unfortunately, Silas was the one who paid the price for my gratuitous rage and insufferable hubris.
“What have I done?” I drag my eyes away from Silas’s sleeping form on the couch in Baal’s living room to look up at Ethan standing behind it. My friend looks worried for me, and I feel guilty for burdening him with my problems when we still don’t know where his own son is.
After Hale abducted Lilith, he attacked Desmond, Gideon, and me with his telekinetic power to prevent us from following them. I spent precious minutes struggling to pull my tortured body together so I could go after them. Desmond and I traveled beyond Mammon’s realm of the Void on the same trajectory as Hale, but all we found on the other side was a vast ocean. We spent an hour looking for any sign of land to search for their whereabouts but found nothing but water. Desmond convinced me that we needed to go back to New Cirrus and take Silas somewhere safe. Only the well-being of my son stopped me from continuing my search for Lilith. If it wasn’t for him, I would still be out there trying to figure out where Hale took her and why.
Once we returned to New Cirrus, we decided it would be safer to come back here to Baal’s realm. We all felt sure either Levi or Mammon would make the small mental leap to figure out Slade was the one who helped Lilith gain entrance into the ball at the palace. Slade doesn’t blend in well in a crowd and too many people witnessed him escorting Lilith to the palace. It was only a matter of time before either one or both of the princes of Hell paid him an uncordial visit. Although Slade didn’t want to leave his home and business, we were able to convince him that he needed to come with us for his own safety.
“You did the only thing you could under the circumstances,” Ethan tells me. “I’m sure Silas will understand once you’re able to explain the situation to him.”
Slowly, I shake my head in dismay. My heart aches inside my chest as one hand formed from loss and another made of hopelessness squeeze it tightly. “This isn’t how I wanted to start our new relationship. I acted like the same brute he had to grow up with as a child. I feel like I’ve already ruined my second chance with him.”
“You’re not the man you once were.” Ethan’s earnest words do nothing to shatter my unfathomable guilt. “You need to stop blaming yourself for what you did to him in the past, Jered. If you can’t let it go, Silas will only see you as a broken man who can’t move past his own mistakes. Yes, you were a horrible father to him back then, but now you can right that wrong and be the one he always deserved.”
“Wow, calling him a ‘horrible father’ sounds a little harsh, don’t you think?” Slade walks into the living room from the patio area where everyone else is at the moment.
“Not harsh enough, really,” I answer so Ethan doesn’t have to. “I was a horrible father. I was a monster.”
I glance over Slade’s shoulder toward the back patio to see a distraught Kane pacing back and forth while Esser tries to calm him down. When I first told Lilith’s friends that I lost her, I thought for sure Kane was going to try to kill me. He can’t, of course, but I have no doubt he would have given it his best effort if Esser hadn’t stepped in and stopped him. I feel sorry for Desmond and Gideon as they try to help Esser ease Kane’s worry. Poor Kodi doesn’t seem to know what to do with himself. He stands awkwardly off to the side of the other men with his hands buried deep inside the front pockets of his jeans. I still have no idea what a fifteen-year-old is doing in the Void, but I suppose sinful deeds aren’t exclusive to adults. Still, the boy seems rather timid. I find it difficult to imagine him even squashing a mosquito actively sucking blood from his body, much less maliciously harming anyone.
“So …” Slade places his hands on his hips and looks between Ethan and me as he clears his throat. “I’ve been meaning to ask you guys something. Did I have a child in my first life?” He rubs the top of his bald head nervously as he awaits the answer to his question.
“You did,” I tell him. “You were a good father, Slade.” A look of relief washes over his face. “You took care of your boy the way a father should, and now he’s in Heaven where he belongs.”
Slade lets his hand fall back to his side at the good news about his son.
“Do you think I’ll ever remember him?” It’s the first time I’ve seen this version of Slade look uncertain about anything. My old friend was always rather brash and boisterous, but this version of him seems more introspective. I hope he never asks me how he died. It’s a gruesome tale that I would rather not have to describe to him.
“I honestly don’t know if you ever will,” I tell him regrettably. “Maybe when you make it to Heaven, everything you’ve forgotten will be restored.”
Slade nods and slowly looks away. I wish I
I look back down at Silas and see his eyeballs slowly move beneath his eyelids.
“If you’re awake, Silas,” I say, “you can stop pretending that you’re still asleep.”
My son’s eyelids swiftly open, and he looks straight at me with his mother’s eyes. He pushes himself up into a sitting position on the couch and stares at me like he’s silently accusing me of some treacherous act against him. I suppose what I did could be considered abduction, but then again, I am his real father. If I can make him believe that fact, maybe he won’t judge me as harshly as he is now.
“You need to take me back home,” Silas says. His tone sounds like that of someone who is used to being obeyed. It makes me wonder if living with Mammon pretending to be his father for the last six months has turned my son into a spoiled brat.
“That’s what I’m trying to do,” I tell him. “You don’t belong here in the Void, son. You belong in the living world. If you had let me explain things to you back at the palace, I wouldn’t have had to … do what I did to you.”
Silas opens his mouth to make a retort, but he snaps it shut as he continues to stare daggers into my soul. I seriously doubt our resemblance to one another escapes his notice, but he seems content to let that small fact slide for now. Silas’s gaze travels around the room before it settles on Slade.
“I can’t believe you helped these people kidnap me, Slade,” Silas says. “What did they do? Promise to take you out of the Void with them when they leave?” Silas doesn’t wait for Slade to answer. Instead, he continues to look around the room. “What happened to the girl who helped you kidnap me? I have a few choice words to say to her.”
“Unlike you, she was truly kidnapped,” I snap. Silas’s rude behavior pricks an already exposed nerve where Lilith’s current whereabouts are concerned.
Silas narrows his eyes like he doesn’t quite believe my claim. “Kidnapped by whom?”
“Hale.”
“That’s absurd,” Silas scoffs. “Why would Hale kidnap … what was her name again?”
“Lilith,” I answer. Simply saying her name out loud weighs my heart with a worry I won’t be able to shed until she’s back with us. “I assume he has a realm of his own here like the others do. Do you happen to know where it is and how to get there?”
“I don’t have a clue,” Silas says with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. “I’ve never left New Cirrus. Mammon said it was too dangerous for me to go anywhere else. Even if I did know, why would I help you?”
“Because I’m your father!” I flinch after hearing myself shout at Silas. Nothing is going like I wanted it to with him. This was supposed to be my shot at making a new start with him, but I’m quickly falling back into old habits where he’s concerned. I have to let go of my frustrations before I utterly ruin my second chance with my son.
Ethan clears his throat to gain Silas’s attention and to break the sudden tension I’ve caused in the room with my outburst. My son turns sideways on the couch to look back at him.
“I don’t suppose Mammon mentioned a place called the Black Castle to you, did he?” Ethan asks, finding a way to change the subject for the moment.
Silas’s brows furrow, telling me before his words do that he has no idea what Ethan is talking about.
“Sorry, but I’ve never heard of it,” Silas says. “What’s supposed to be there?”
“It’s possible the people there can help us find Lilith,” Ethan tells him.
“Who are they exactly?” Silas asks.
“They call themselves the guardians of the Void,” I answer, watching for his reaction to the term. “Have you ever heard Mammon or the others speak of them?”
Silas thinks about it for a few seconds before shaking his head. “No. He never mentioned them to me.”
“Lilith is the only person I know of who has seen one,” I say. “After we rescued you, we were all planning to search for the Black Castle. Like Ethan said, they might be able to help us figure out where Hale has taken Lilith.”
“Why do you think Hale kidnapped her?” Slade asks as he crosses his arms over his chest with a thoughtful expression on his face. “Do they know one another?”
“Not as far as I’m aware,” I say, “but I also don’t know what kind of relationship they might have had in Lilith’s first life. It’s possible they could have known one another back then. I’m not sure.”
“What the hell do you know, Jered?” Kane accuses me as he storms in through the large opening from the patio with Esser and Kodi following close on his heels. “Do you even have a clue how we’re going to find Lilith?”
My first instinct is to snap at Kane, but thankfully, Desmond steps in before I have a chance to lose my temper as he and Gideon follow the others in from outside.
“Calm down, brotha,” Desmond says, giving Kane an admonishing look. “I told you we would get her back and I meant what I said. None of us intend to leave her in the hands of Hale.”
“Who is this Hale guy anyway?” Kodi asks. He looks my way, waiting for an answer.
“After Lucifer was redeemed and returned to Heaven,” I begin, “Hale stepped in to lead what was left of the rebellion angels on Earth. He joined forces with the remaining princes of Hell.”
“But why did he take Lilith?” Esser asks me. The wrinkles on Esser’s face look more pronounced now than they did before. His obvious worry over Lilith’s abduction has me concerned for his health. When we first told Esser and the others what happened, he placed a hand over his chest as if his heart was causing him problems. I make a mental note to ask Desmond to check him out later. Having a friend with medical skills has proven invaluable over the years.
“I’m not sure why he took her, but I intend to find out.” I meet Kane’s eyes directly. “I promise you that we will get her back, but you’re going to have to trust me. Losing our tempers over something that can’t be changed won’t do us or Lilith any good. Can we at least agree on that much?”
Kane’s scowl doesn’t disappear right away. It’s not until Esser reaches out and places a comforting hand on his shoulder that I see him begin to relax. Lilith’s best friend has always seemed like a loose cannon to me, but I hope, for all our sakes, that he can rein in his emotions long enough for us to figure out what to do next to help her.
“Jered,” Desmond says, “why don’t you take Silas for a walk to get some fresh air? When you return, maybe the rest of us will have come up with a plan to find Lilith.”
To my surprise, Silas immediately stands from the couch.
“Some fresh air sounds good,” he tells me. “I would like to see what this realm looks like while I’m here. All I’ve seen of the Void is New Cirrus.”
“Follow me then.”
As I walk past the trio of Lilith’s friends, I can feel Kane’s reproachful eyes following me out of the room. I wish he could understand that no one here feels more guilty about her abduction than I do. Even though she’s the one who told me to leave her at the palace and take Silas to safety, I shouldn’t have listened to her. I should have thought of another plan to get both of them out of the palace and somewhere safe. At the time, I was confused and upset about knocking Silas out cold when he yelled for the palace guards to help him. I felt sure I had ruined my second chance at a better relationship with my son, and my confusion led to me letting Lilith take control of the situation. Her suggestion seemed like the most rational course of action at the time, but I should have known better. I’ve fought the princes of Hell practically my entire life. I know how cruel and wily they can be. I never should have left Lilith alone, and now I may pay the ultimate price for such a rash decision for the rest of my life.
