Chronicles of a Rockin' Mess, page 16
“It’s not fine,” I respond as I turn to her. She has her hand on the door handle, and I touch her other arm. She looks over at me.
“I’m not fucking around with you, Lark. I swear…I will make this happen.”
She nods as she gets out of the car. I know she has no reason to trust me after all the shit I’ve pulled. I want to make excuses for myself. I want to say it was my newfound fame or my quick rise to the top of stardom, but there’s not an excuse, and deep down I know that.
As I walk up to the porch, Maria opens the door. Immediately, Asher bounds out of the house. He’s covered in something white, and he makes circles as he chases his tail on the front porch.
“You need to take him to doggie school, Mr. Grant. He is out of control,” Maria half-yells as she throws her hands up in the air.
That’s when I realize that Asher is covered in cotton stuffing from pillows. Shit. Maria wasn’t kidding when she texted me earlier.
“Oh, he’s so cute!” my mother exclaims. Asher decides that means he should jump on her. She falls back as my father nearly runs into her. I slap a hand to my head. This. Is. A. Mess.
“Asher, come here, boy,” I call him, but Asher is licking my mom’s face and can’t be bothered to follow a command.
“Asher,” Lark says in a loud voice, and the damn dog comes right over to her.
“Sit!” she commands, and Asher sits.
“Well, I’ll be damned. That’s a smart pup,” my dad says as he pats Asher’s head and holds out a hand to help my mother up. “You OK, Margie?”
My mom is laughing as she stands up and dusts off her pants. “I’m fine.”
Maria is so focused on Asher, that I can see the moment she realizes my parents are here.
“Oh, dios mio!” she cries out as she walks over to hug my mother.
“Hi, Maria,” my mom responds as she embraces her. I stand there, a little flabbergasted. I had no idea they were so close.
“Mr. Grant, so good to see you. How are you feeling?” Maria says to my dad as she pulls back from my mom and launches herself at him.
“Good to see you too, Maria. I’ll live another day,” he says.
Lark is barely holding on to Asher. “Uh, where should I put Asher?” she asks me. I grin down at her because she is also now covered in cotton pillow stuffing.
“Hand me the beast,” I say as I reach down and pick up Asher. He puts his paws on my shoulders and starts licking me.
“Show me the damage,” I say to Maria as I walk inside. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out where the pillow stuffing has come from, because the second that I clear the foyer and walk into the kitchen, I see the white cotton and pillow remnants everywhere. The remaining shreds of the throw pillows from the sofas in the family room are literally all over the house. There are pieces on the sofa, the coffee table, the end tables, the floor, the fireplace, Asher’s doggie bed, his water bowl, and the kitchen floor. Entertainingly, his doggie bed is not shredded.
“So, I’ll be calling your decorator then,” I hear Lark say from behind me.
“Oh, I don’t know. I think Asher could be onto something. It’s doggy chic,” I retort.
“It’s doggy something,” Maria huffs as she comes to stand next to me with my parents in tow.
“Holy dog mess!” my mother cries out.
“Son, you sure you want a dog?” my dad asks.
I groan and roll my eyes toward the ceiling. I’m gonna need strength here. I know I don’t normally take charge. Hell, I’ve let my PAs, publicist, and manager run my life for several years, but I think I just reached my limit.
I turn around to face everyone. “Lark, you and my dad, if he’s up to it, can go grab Asher’s crate and get it set up in the family room. Mom, you and I are going to clean up this mess. Maria, do we have anything we can make for dinner here?”
“Yes, Mr. Grant. I will cook it for you before I head out,” Maria replies as she hands my mom a garbage bag. My dad and Lark are already pulling the crate out of the box from the garage and carting it into the family room. Once it’s assembled, I place Asher inside. He sits and wines until Lark gives him a toy to chew on, and then she and Dad join Mom and me as we continue picking up little pieces of white cotton. It takes the better part of an hour, but by the time we finish, Maria is done cooking, and Asher is passed out in his crate.
I examine the sofas, which have a few bite marks on them, but most of the damage is to the pillows. “Lark, I think we should hold off on the throw pillows until we get Asher trained up. No sense if having any more pillow mortalities.”
She laughs. “He really did a number.”
“Dinner is ready!” Maria calls from the kitchen.
“Thanks,” I reply as I watch her wipe down the counters. “Go ahead home, Maria. Lark and I can take care of the dishes.”
“You sure?” she asks. I nod.
“Goodnight then,” she adds as she takes off her apron and heads toward the garage.
I turn to see Lark pouring everyone wine in the dining room. I head in and take a seat next to her, across from my parents.
“How are you feeling, Dad?” I ask as I sit down.
“I’m fine. In fact, I’ve forgotten how I was feeling with all this doggie chaos,” he laughs.
“Good,” Lark and I respond at the same time. I look over at her, and she blushes. That pink creeping across her skin makes me think dirty thoughts, but my mom’s throat-clearing draws my attention back across the table.
“So, how have you been, Lincoln?” she asks, looking from me to Lark and back to me. Shit, nothing gets past my mom.
“Good. We have one more concert in a few days. It’ll be here in LA. And then, this tour is over, and we’re back in the studio,” I say.
“And, are you seeing anyone?” she asks. I narrow my eyes, but before I can answer, Lark pipes up.
“He’s been pretty busy with the tour.”
“Oh?” my mom responds.
“Yep. We all have. So how are you both doing, aside from hospital visits?” she asks, clearly trying to save me from my mom’s inquisition.
My dad laughs. “Well, until this little medical snafu, we were talking about taking a trip,” he says. I’m actually shocked. My parents haven’t taken a trip in…I honestly can’t remember.
“Wow, really?” I ask.
My mom nods. “Yep. We figured it was about time.”
“Where to?” Lark asks as she takes a slice of lasagna and hums her appreciation. I watch mesmerized as the fork slides between her perfect lips.
“Costa Rica,” my dad answers.
“That sounds like fun,” Lark replies after she chews a few bites. I pull my attention away from Lark and look at my parents.
“Uh, when were you planning on going? Do you need me to check in on the house?” I ask.
“We were thinking next month. And no…we…” My mother trails off and looks at my dad.
“What?” I ask, setting my fork on my plate.
“We are looking at some condos near the beach,” my dad answers.
My jaw hits the table. OK, not literally, but I’m left speechless.
“Wow! Uh, really?” Lark interjects.
“Yeah. We think we need a change. We love our home. We love the memories, but lately…we feel like the house is keeping us in the past, and we want to move on with our lives,” my mom says slowly as she looks at me.
“But…what about Carrie’s stuff?” I ask, completely confused.
“We kept it there for us at first, but then we kept it there for you. I always see you standing by her door,” my mom points out. “I didn’t want to take that away from you.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “For me,” I ask, pointing a finger at my chest.
“Yes,” she whispers back.
“But…I thought…” I trail off because I’m speechless again.
My mom reaches across the table and puts her hand on mine. “We know how close you two were. You had such a hard time after she died. We all did. I just couldn’t bring myself to not have her in your life, especially if that was helping you,” she explains.
“Mom…I thought you all couldn’t let her go,” I say.
“We’ll never let Carrie go, Lincoln. But we’ve been ready to move on for a while now. She’d want us to be happy,” he says.
I swallow back my emotions that I feel are creeping up because I don’t want to have a breakdown in front of Lark.
“I’ll do whatever you need me to do then,” I say to my parents. “I want you to be happy. And don’t worry about me. I’m happy,” I add, stealing a glance over at Lark.
I look back up to see my mom’s teary-eyed smile. “I’m glad. I’m so happy for you, Lincoln. You deserve to be happy,” she says as she stands and walks around to me. I stand and engulf her in my arms. We hug and then my dad joins us. It’s a cheesy family moment. I hear Lark sniffle.
“Get in here,” I say to her, and she laughs as she stands and joins our group hug. I realize in that moment just how lucky I am. I have Lark. I have loving parents. I have good friends. And I have a career, that so many would give anything to have.
Chapter 29
Lark
“You ready?” Lincoln asks. After last night’s family revelations, he’s quiet today, but he kept his promise and has taken me to see Tiffany.
“Yep, ready as ever,” I reply nervously as we walk into a swanky office building. Lincoln grabs my hand and squeezes it while we wait in the elevator.
“It’ll be great, you’ll see,” he assures me.
The elevator dings and we walk down a corridor to Tiffany’s office. An assistant has us take a seat, and a moment later shows us back to Tiffany’s office as she offers us beverages, which we decline.
“Hi, Lark, so nice to meet you!” Tiffany says as she rounds a large glass and metal desk and outstretches a hand for me to shake. “Please, have a seat.”
Lincoln and I take a seat. Tiffany sits down on another chair instead of returning to her desk. Something about that endears her to me. She doesn’t think that she’s better than me.
“Lincoln has filled me in on quite a bit. And that track you sent! I loved it! Lincoln tells me that Roger is interested in meeting with you. So, why don’t you tell me about your career,” she says, leaning back in her seat as though she has all the time in the world.
And so, I tell her. I tell her about singing as a girl, about coming to LA, about being rejected. I talk about working for Lincoln, leaving out the part where he acted like a dick and I left. I talk about following my passion and joining up with Magnolia Tear. And then, I talk about seeing Roger at the festival.
She sits quietly, letting me tell my story, and when I finish, she leans forward. “Tell me what you want.”
“I…I’m not sure. I know Roger is important, but my pride has a hard time getting over his last rejection,” I admit.
“Well, then maybe we make him wallow in his sucking-up skills for a bit,” she says with a laugh. “I love bringing men like Roger to their knees.” She glances over at Lincoln. “Sorry, not sorry,” she adds with a shrug.
“Hey, don’t apologize on my account,” Lincoln says.
“So, I think what we need, is a plan of action,” Tiffany says. “I’ll call and make an appointment for us to visit Roger.” She pauses and looks at me. “I mean, if you want to work with me because after listening to you, there is no doubt in my mind that I want to work with you.”
I grin. “There is no doubt in my mind either,” I say to her, and it’s true. Both my gut and my brain tell me Tiffany is the right person for me to work with, and that’s all I need to know.
“I’ll draw up a contract, and you can look over it first, of course. And then, if you’re still on board, I’ll call Roger,” she says. She rubs her hands together and my grin widens. She’s going to be fun to work with, and from what Lincoln has said about her and the photos on her wall, she’s a great fit for me. Her name was familiar when Lincoln mentioned it, but now I know why she works with some really awesome clients. I can tell she genuinely enjoys her work.
As soon as we leave Tiffany’s office, Lincoln picks me up in the middle of the hallway and spins me around.
“You’re going to be famous!” he says loudly.
“Lincoln, shhhh,” I manage as I try not to laugh. He leans down and kisses me, and suddenly I don’t care that it’s the middle of the day, in an office building where anyone could see us. I wrap my arms around his neck and jump up. He lifts me as I wrap my legs around his hips. Our kiss goes from intense to over-the-top passionate in two seconds. Our tongues taste and tease. I lose myself in the feel of his scruffy beard against my skin and taste of mint from his toothpaste. I’ve fallen so hard for his man. I’m totally and completely fucked.
Lincoln
I pull my head back and lean my forehead against Lark’s. We’re both breathing heavy as we stare into each other’s eyes.
“We are going home. And I am going to properly help you celebrate,” I say to her.
“Don’t you think it’s a little too soon to celebrate. I mean, we still have to meet with Roger, and I don’t know how I feel about that,” she says as she bites her lip. I lean in and kiss her lips that are swollen from our last kiss. She releases her lower lip, and I drag it between my teeth. She emits the slightest groan and my cock goes from awake to motherfucking ready to party. I’m not exactly proud to indulge in my body’s response to her, but I need her in my bed naked, right the fuck now.
I slowly let her slide down my body. “You. Me. Home. Now,” I manage as I take her hand and lead her back to my car. She follows, giggling the whole way.
Once we are driving, she turns in her seat. “Do you think this is a good idea?” she asks me.
“What?” I say as I concentrate on the road, but glance over at her.
She points to me and then back to her. “Us,” she says quietly.
Shit. She wants to have this conversation now? I pull over into the parking lot of a fast-food restaurant. I turn to her.
“Lark, there’s every reason this should not work. Believe me, I keep questioning what I’m doing,” I start, but when I see her expression drop, I explain myself further, “I don’t question that you are perfect. I question whether I’m good enough for you. You deserve the best, Lark. I just don’t know if the best is me.” I sit in silence waiting for her to process my thoughts.
She looks at me intently. “What if I’m not good enough for you?” she whispers.
I reach out and cradle her face in my hand. “How could you not be good enough for me?” I ask her as I search her eyes. She really doesn’t see how amazing she is.
Her eyes look down at her hands. “Lincoln…I…I mean, look at me. You are at the top of the world, and I’m just…well, I’m just me,” she says.
I tilt her head up and she meets my gaze. “Lark, you are amazing. You are beautiful, inside and out. You are talented. And you have a heart of gold. You are more than I deserve,” I say to her. And then an idea hits me. “I have…a plan,” I say in my best Tommy Boy impression.
“Oh no,” she says as I throw the car back into drive and speed home.
I have a small recording studio at the house. The minute we pull into the driveway, I hop out and head inside. Lark follows me and stands in the doorway of my small recording room.
“What are you doing?” she asks, her hands on her hips as she looks around.
“You…are going to lay down a track,” I say to her with a big grin.
“Wait, what?” she asks, her eyes going wide.
“You can use it to play for Roger when you meet with him,” I explain as I start to play around with my sound mixer.
“But…I…uh…” She trails off, clearly lost for words, and I grin.
“You can do this!” I announce as I pull out my pad of paper that I use to scribble song lyrics.
She sits down on the chair next to me and stares at the paper. “OK,” she answers slowly, and she takes the pen I have in my hand.
“Wait, I have some lyrics that I’ve worked on recently,” she says as she sprints out of the room. I follow her upstairs. She grabs a notebook. And heads back down to the recording studio.
“I’ll let you think for a while, let me know when you are ready and I can get everything set up,” I add as I make my way to the kitchen. I decide to make us some lemon tea. It’s great for helping sooth your throat.
A few minutes later, I head down to the studio to check on her. She’s got a guitar on her lap and is singing. Her eyes are closed, and she looks ethereal with her messy curly hair and her face relaxed as she sings.
I open the studio door. She has on the headphones, so I know she can’t hear me. I pick up my other guitar and turn on the mic as I begin to play back-up to her song. Her eyes fly open and meet mine, but she doesn’t stop singing.
You saw me before I saw myself.
Others passed by me, like an unwanted toy on a shelf.
You claimed my heart,
Every single part.
I tried to hide,
What I felt inside.
But there you were, holding me up,
Always positive, like a half-filled cup,
You tried to push me away,
And you succeeded; I didn’t stay.
Then fate brought us here,
We battled together through the fear.
I don’t know where we go from here,
I do know with you by my side, we can go anywhere.
Why do you see me?
Because I’m stronger when you and I are a we.
I wonder if we will make it to the end.
I know we will, together we can make a stand.
When I first saw you,
My heart just knew.
You fixed the broken parts of me,
It’s plain for anyone to see.
You are my everything.
* * *
She stops and stares at me.
“That’s good, Lark. Really good,” I say to her. Her lyrics haunt me. She’s blushing, and I’m not sure if it’s from the personal nature of what she’s just said, or if she’s shy about playing in front of me. I hope it’s the former. I hope all those lyrics mean what I think they mean.
