The Crow Chronicles, page 13
‘Maybe not ordinary crows, sir, but the crownies are different.’
‘How can crows be different? They’re all the same—cawing and creating law and order problems wherever they go!’ Billa’s patience was running thin. Budhboo put out a placatory paw.
‘In what way are they different to ordinary crows? Are they also white?’
‘They are not white. But they are a highly trained and motivated team of commando crows.’
‘And what makes you think we need highly trained commando crows in Bharatpur?’
‘Well, sir, you can’t deny there is a law and order problem in the park . . .’
‘That is an internal matter of the park and none of your business!’ Billa snapped, his tail lashing angrily. This big jungle crow was getting on his nerves. Once again Budhboo intervened smoothly.
‘Ah, yes, we did have a slight problem but it is now firmly under control. I fear you have been reading too many stories that appear in the press. Those are usually highly exaggerated and mostly unsubstantiated!’
‘I understand that. But my boss has said that if necessary, he is willing to put the services of the crownies at your disposal. In fact he has promised that within three months the crownies will convert the Keoladeo into a clean, well-ordered, crime-free haven, like that world famous bird park in Singapore. If this does not happen in three months he is willing to forgo his, and the crownies’, residential rights! Also, sir, the crownies are required to provide adequate security for my boss. As I said, he is probably one of his kind and therefore invaluable to ornithology.’
Once again, Budhboo and Billa exchanged glances.
‘Your boss appears to have a lot of faith in his team of—what did you call them—cronies?’
‘Crownies. Yes, he does, because he has trained them himself.’
Budhboo shuffled a few papers aimlessly as Billa fidgeted, clearly unhappy at the way the interview was going. The bandicoot looked up.
‘Well, Mr Craven, technically speaking there is nothing in the Constitution that can ban the entry of Shri Kaw and the cronies to the Keoladeo. As you know we have a democracy here and are proud of it. However, several matters require verification and these things take time. For instance, we have to assure ourselves that not one of the cronies has been involved in any criminal activities in the past. Also, they must produce inoculation certificates against crow-fever. We’ll have to conduct our own inquiry into these things. They will take time.’
‘How long?’ asked Craven Raven bluntly, sensing what was coming.
‘Oh, at least three to six months, depending. At the moment we are all tied up with this Festival of Birds affair.’
‘Ah, sir, that is no problem. I’m sure this will go some way in speeding matters up!’ Once again Craven Raven delved under his wing and produced another magnificent piece of jewellery. Billa could not stifle his sharp intake of breath. Craven Raven looked at him and smiled.
‘My boss is a very, very wealthy bird,’ he said.
‘I think we understand each other perfectly, Shri Craven,’ Budhboo said and removed the bracelet from sight.
‘Tell your boss, Shri Kaw, that the Prime Minister will be pleased to meet him tomorrow at 7 p.m. as per the understanding. He is to enter the park via the Ghasola chowki on the eastern boundary. A contingent of drongos from the police force will be there to escort him here.’
‘Very well, sir. Then we shall be seeing you again tomorrow!’ Within minutes Depraven Craven Raven and his two bodyguards were flying steadily towards Fatehpur Sikri. His mission had gone off very successfully.
‘You did well!’ Kaw congratulated Craven Raven. ‘Those greedy bastards can’t wait to get their paws on more of our treasure! Cronies indeed! We’ll see who looks corny once the crownies are through with them. Now we have to select some suitable items for tomorrow’s summit . . .’
‘Obviously there’s a lot more of these with them! This Kaw seems to be quite a fellow! And his so-called commando force intrigues me.’
‘Budhboo, there is a bad smell about this whole business. I just don’t like it! Any bird who can just come in here and suggest that his boss and his gang can take over the Keoladeo security system is either very dangerous or completely mad.’
‘Take it easy, Billa! We haven’t committed ourselves to anything. Let’s see what this crow looks like.’
A Ghana Ghoul entered and placed a report before the bandicoot.
‘Ah, here we are, let’s see, a report from our agent at the BNHS.’ Budhboo read through the document intently. Then he put it down and whistled.
‘Well, well, well!’ he said. ‘Our Shri Kaw is quite a character! A gangster and nothing less! A mafia don! He and his cronies pretty well destroyed the BNHS office in Bombay and have been responsible for scores of robberies in that city. Jewellery was their speciality; apparently they have stashed away a colossal horde somewhere. There was a huge price on his head. He is thought to have been killed in an encounter, with . . . what’s this, a chandelier? Anyway, it seems he simply disappeared. No wonder. He’s surfaced here!’ Budhboo looked up smiling like a crocodile closing in. ‘Obviously things got too hot for him and he decided to pull out. But what a clever bastard! He knows they can’t get him in a national park.’
For the first time, Billa’s stone-coloured eyes lit up.
‘They can’t get him maybe. But we can! After we’ve milked him dry of his vast horde of baubles. Budhboo, this is going to beat chick-napping and egg-stealing hollow! This is in a different league. So let’s welcome Shri Kaw Kaw and his gang of cronies. Let’s inform the Prime Minister about the meeting tomorrow.’
2
In the Company of Thieves
‘I think we ought to greet him like a state guest,’ Budhboo advised Shri Pinky Stink, after he and Billa had informed him of Kaw’s appointment for the next day. ‘He was till very recently the Bird Governor of Bombay—a rich and powerful metropolis. He has just retired and wishes to settle down in the Keoladeo. We should be honoured by his presence in the park—it will go a long way in enhancing the prestige of Bharatpur and further improving our image abroad.’
No mention was made to the Prime Minister of Kaw’s mafia, or of the vast treasure that he had accumulated. As always, Budhboo and Billa had been very circumspect about the information they revealed to the Prime Minister. Trivia was not for his exalted ears.
‘But what about these ravens of his? There will be an uproar if we allow one hundred wild crows into the park!’
Pinky Stink was, quite rightly, worried. Allowing one hundred strange crows into the park would not be a sensible or popular thing to do. Especially in the light of the elections, now hovering uneasily over the horizon.
‘Yes, that could be a problem,’ Budhboo admitted. ‘I tell you what, sir: Let’s wait until the inaugural of the Festival of Birds is over. It is sure to be a great success and your popularity rating will shoot up. That’s when we’ll let this crow and his followers into the park. Also, we must keep in mind that he has offered to help in maintaining law and order here. So we can always say that we are allowing him and his fellows in on that pretext.’
Waiting until the Festival of Birds was over would be useful for other reasons too. It would give the duo time enough in which to begin, in earnest, the milking of Kaw . . .
And so, Kala Kaloota was given almost a state (and certainly a secret) welcome to the Keoladeo. Awaiting him at the Ghasola checkpost was Kotwal, the Chief of Police, along with a glossy contingent of drongos, all standing rigidly to attention. Kaw and his party (consisting of Craven Raven and twelve tough crownies) were escorted to the Stinky Tops complex in style by a bodyguard of twenty night herons, all extremely smart in their blade-blue, grey and white uniforms, their whip-antennae crests angled back snazzily as they flew swiftly through the dusk.
The dark wedge of birds swirled into the Stinky Tops complex with an impressive whistling of feathers. Here, the Prime Minister and his cabinet colleagues Billa and Budhboo waited to welcome their rogue guest.
And it must be said in all honesty that Kaw made a far greater impression on the Keoladeo triumvirate than they made on him.
Darkness always favoured Kaw. His plumage shimmered with a strange electric luminosity, every barb of every feather was etched in sharp detail, and the eyes pulsed like rubies that had come to life. It was easy to start a legend around this bird.
To Kaw, the Keoladeo triumvirate looked like nothing but a raffish bunch of tricksters, and he greeted them with icy condescension. What galled him—and Craven Raven had feared this—was the fact that even temporarily, he, the great Kala Kaloota, had to take a subservient position to another bird. And a bird that looked like a complete buffoon. The two unsavoury deputies Kaw viewed with open contempt.
‘Ah, welcome to the Keoladeo National Park, Shri Kaw!’ The Prime Minister greeted Kaw effusively, somewhat taken aback by the great crow’s burning eyes and mercury-vapour glow. ‘I hope you had a pleasant flight.’ The big white bird only nodded briefly as he followed his hosts inside, Craven Raven a deferential step behind.
Pinky Stink looked down the long length of his bill and blinked.
‘Ah, yes, we hoped you liked what you have seen so far of Bharatpur. We must organize a trip to show you some of the sights of this park. Now what can I do for you, sir?’
Kaw stared balefully at the Prime Minister.
‘My deputy, the honourable Depraven Craven Raven here, has already apprised your . . . your ministers of that, I think. I do hope your ministers have briefed you of the situation.’
‘Ah, yes, of course, of course they have! Let me see now, you wish to settle down permanently in the Keoladeo with your followers. Well, sir, we would be honoured by your presence, and by the fact that you have chosen the Keoladeo National Park as a place to retire in. We are happy to inform you that you are welcome to settle down here and indeed we will be proud to make you an Honorary Citizen of the park.’
‘I am glad to hear that,’ Kaw tried to sound mollified and failed. The Prime Minister put up a wing and smiled apologetically. Budhboo had just nudged him in the ribs, reminding him of the sticky issues that had to be discussed.
‘Yes, yes, you are welcome anytime in the park. But my ministers have informed me that there appears to be a slight hitch—a technical matter really—that needs to be sorted out first. About the residential status for your . . . your disciples.’
‘Crownies!’ The word fell like an executioner’s axe. Kaw drew himself up impressively and went on. ‘I am sure Shri Craven Raven has informed your honourable ministers of the fact that the crownies are highly trained commando crows. If they are let into the park I can assure you that we will eradicate your deplorable law and order problem in three months flat!’
‘Yes, yes, yes, I was informed about your commando cronies . . . I mean crownies . . .’ The Prime Minister clattered his beak, quite flustered by Kaw’s sudden belligerence.
Budhboo stepped in.
‘Shri Kaw, Your Excellency! The Prime Minister and ourselves thank you for your genuine concern for the well-being of the park, and for your generous offer. It is indeed, very good of you. And as you are so concerned that law and order be maintained in the park, you will no doubt appreciate it that we must go by the law in the matter of granting residential status to the crownies as well. Residential status will of course be granted—of that you can rest assured. It might take a little time to go through the paperwork—you know the checking and cross-checking of facts—’
The Prime Minister intervened.
‘However, you, Shri Kaw, are welcome to shift here whenever you like, on my personal recommendation. Initially you are welcome to stay at our State Nesthouse as a guest, until accommodation can be found suitable for a bird of your status and eminence.’
‘Thank you.’ Kaw made it sound like an expletive. ‘But I’m afraid I will only shift once suitable accommodation is found for each and every one of my one hundred crownies and they are granted permanent residential status in the park.’
Kaw looked at the triumvirate one by one. He had rested his case. Billa’s tail was lashing angrily again, the Prime Minister looked nonplussed, and as usual it was Budhboo who had to smooth things over.
‘Of course, Shri Kaw! We understand your position perfectly. Have no doubt that the matter shall be dealt with as expeditiously as possible and to the satisfaction of all concerned. That is my personal guarantee to you. It will, as I have said, take a little time to find suitable accommodation for one hundred crows. And we shall require some cooperation from your side. You know, we need details about the crownies—their background, careers and so on and so forth. Alas, the paperwork has to be done. Otherwise disgruntled elements may make trouble at a later date. And you know what the press is like . . .’
‘Ah, you bastard,’ thought Craven Raven. ‘You mean you’ll inform the disgruntled elements and the press, don’t you!’
Kaw eyed the bandicoot as though he were a caterpillar dropping.
‘You’ll get all the cooperation you need, Shri Budhboo,’ he said coldly. ‘Just get the job done and get on with it!’
‘Yes, yes, of course! But I don’t think we ought to bother you or the Prime Minister about working out the details. If Mr Craven Raven could be so good as to stay behind this evening we could make a start. How does that sound, sir?’
‘Very well, Craven Raven shall stay behind.’ Kaw agreed.
‘Splendid, sir! Now there’s just one small matter to be sorted out immediately.’
‘Which is?’ Kaw’s voice turned dangerous once again, and Pinky Stink blinked nervously behind his spectacles.
‘Oh, nothing really, sir, except that we think that it would be wiser if all future meetings and negotiations be held either at your headquarters at Fatehpur Sikri or any venue outside the park. As I said, at this stage it is imperative to keep the matter a secret.’
Kaw nodded in agreement. ‘Very well, Mr Bundicoot, but just get on with the job. There should be no problem because according to your Constitution, all birds are welcome in Bharatpur.’
‘Only after we assure ourselves that they are not bandits or thieves.’ It was Billa who threw the brick. For a moment Kaw’s eyes glittered and his feathers bristled. Then, ignoring the tomcat, he turned to the Prime Minister.
‘Ah, Mr Prime Minister! Before I leave I would like to make a small contribution to the Keoladeo National Park Trust Fund,’ he said, trying his best to sound gracious.
‘The what?’ asked the Prime Minister, plainly bewildered. ‘We don’t have such a fund.’
‘. . . ah Mr Prime Minister, perhaps it slipped your mind.’ Budhboo too, had never heard of it, but was off the blocks in a flash. ‘This is a newly created trust fund set up to rehabilitate orphaned nestlings and help species with poor nest-building abilities to put up safe and secure homes. Thank you very much, sir, your contribution is highly appreciated. Now if you will excuse the Prime Minister, he has several important matters of state to attend to.’ Budhboo turned swiftly to the Prime Minister, ‘You have to meet Shri Guturgooji of the Keoladeo Kala Samiti in five minutes regarding the festival . . .’
‘Now the bastard’s changing the subject! He obviously doesn’t want the Prime Minister to see the contribution we are making to the fund! How interesting!’ Craven Raven thought.
Kaw rose and flapped his wings.
‘Very well, Mr Prime Minister. I shall be expecting to hear from you shortly. A pleasure meeting you!’
‘My pleasure entirely, sir!’ Pinky was plainly quite relieved the ordeal was over.
Kaw turned to Craven Raven.
‘You stay behind and sort out Mr Budhboo’s problems for him.’
And with ten of the crownies, and the splendid night heron escort of honour, Kaw left Stinky Tops for his temporary capital at Fatehpur Sikri.
And in the private office of Budhboo Bundicoot, the first substantial contribution to the Keoladeo National Park Trust Fund lit up the eyes of its two trustees. The twelve crownies who had carried the booty to Stinky Tops had been pretty well loaded down with it.
Craven Raven sat across the bandicoot and spoke with soft menace.
‘Now, Mr Budhboo, I think it is your move. We hope this small donation will expedite considerably the process of settling in the crownies.’
To his credit, the wily bandicoot stood his ground.
‘Very recently,’ he said sotto voce, ‘certain information has been made available to us which complicates the matter quite considerably.’
‘Such as . . .?’
‘Such as we have knowledge that Shri Kala Kaloota was a mafia don in Bombay with a price on his head. Such as that we know that the crownies are nothing but a gang of thugbirds with criminal records going back to the days when they were fledglings. Now I’m afraid that if this sort of knowledge were to be made public, it would be virtually impossible for Shri Kaw and the crownies to settle down here.’
‘Mr Bundicoot, I think you misunderstand. Firstly, my boss Shri Kaw has never raised a feather against another bird. And all the activities of the crownies and the so-called mafia have been directed against people, not birds. Those are therefore not criminal offences!’
The bandicoot regarded him coolly.
‘I don’t think that’s entirely correct, Mr Craven. Before your Shri Kaw took over the Malabar Hill mafia, these crownies of yours did nothing but terrorize, blackmail and loot other birds. Then along came your boss. He killed one crow even before he could fly. And then he killed your erstwhile boss, Shri Khatarnak.’
In spite of himself, Craven Raven had to admire the bandicoot’s intelligence gathering skills.
‘Mr Budhboo, the fight with Shri Khatarnak was one in self-defence. Both birds were fighting in self-defence!’
‘Mr Craven Raven, here in Keoladeo I’m afraid we believe in rule of law. In our eyes, Shri Kala Kaloota murdered Shri Khatarnak in order to take over the Malabar Hill mafia. If Shri Khatarnak had killed Shri Kaw, we would have equally regarded him as guilty of murder. Now, we cannot have murderers in our park, Mr Craven Raven. However, I agree the point is somewhat debatable, and since it seems that the crownies have mended their ways somewhat, we could think things over. All these sordid details need not be made public at all. If, of course, certain conditions are met . . .’
