Casey (The Seven Brothers of Elko: Book Five), page 19
He lifted his head and held her eyes as he shifted above her and slowly entered her. “Oh, goddamn,” he whispered hoarsely. “Baby, goddamn.”
He slowly began to move in and out, stroking deeper and deeper with each thrust. He was so close and he was trying so hard to hold himself back but the tremors running through her were so strong that he wasn’t going to last much longer.
Casey could feel her fighting, straining to maintain control as he pushed her higher and higher. He dropped his lips to her ear and whispered, “Dakota, baby, let go. I won’t let anything hurt you. Let it go.”
He felt the tremors build and the low moan escaped her throat just as she clinched tightly around him in the first spasm. And he’d never felt anything sweeter more fulfilling in his life as he groaned and let himself go with her. And he held her tightly as the aftershocks rolled through them both.
“Jesus,” he whispered as he dropped his head to her shoulder. You fool. You damn fool. You let her come here and get exactly what she wanted. And how are you supposed to stop loving her now? How are you supposed to move on now? At least be honest. Who took advantage of who? You knew she was vulnerable. Maybe it was what she wanted but you shouldn’t have done it.
“Casey, my God,” Dakota whispered. She’d never felt anything like that in her life. That’s what Trisha had been talking about. That’s what she meant when she talked about flying and then falling in all these different pieces. Do you find them all? She hadn’t thought to ask her that.
“Yeah,” he rasped still trying to catch his breath. He managed to shift himself up on his elbows to let her breathe but he couldn’t lift his head yet. And the anger at himself took over.
“Goddammit,” he muttered and then shoved away from her. He sat up quickly on the side of the bed and dropped his head into his hands. “Did you get what you came after?” he asked bitterly.
“Casey, it’s not like that. I didn’t... ”
“Go home. Goddammit, you come in here knowing I love you, knowing how much I want you, and you... I should have stopped. I either took advantage of you or played right into your hands. Either way I should have stopped. Please go home,” he said lowly as he shoved up from the bed and walked into the bathroom to discard the used condom.
He dropped his head for a few seconds when he heard the muffled sobs she was trying to hide and strode back into the room without looking at her and silently slipped on his jeans then walked to the living room to retrieve the pieces of her clothing that they had dropped there. He walked back into the bedroom and laid the clothes on the bed, finished dressing, then walked back to the living room, not stopping until he reached the door.
When she followed him to the door she dropped her head and whispered, “Casey... ”
“Is that what you came here for?” he asked flatly.
She lifted her head and met his hard gaze. “No. I didn’t come here to trick you into having sex if that’s what you’re asking,” she whispered hoarsely.
Casey held her gaze for a few seconds then said softly, “Then I’m sorry. I took advantage of the situation. Please go home. I can’t do this again, unless you’re ready to love me too.”
“Casey, I can’t... ”
Casey turned his head to look out the door instead of looking at her. “Go home now.”
Dakota dropped her head and rasped, “I’m sorry, Casey. I’m sorry.” She rushed out the door and down the steps without looking back.
Casey dropped his head and muttered, “Goddammit. You fool. You stupid fool.”
Chapter Twelve
He didn’t know how long he’d sat there with his head in his hands when he heard the front door. He didn’t even lift his head. He knew who it was.
Jake sat down beside him on the loveseat and said, “Wanna talk about it?”
“I’m such a bastard, bubba. I let her come here, and... I accused her of wanting her fix, being here just to have sex. And then I... I couldn’t help it. She was so beautiful and... I think I took advantage of her. But it didn’t mean anything to her. I told her I couldn’t do that again unless she was ready to love me. It didn’t matter to her. I’m just another guy.”
“I’m sorry, Casey,” Jake said quietly.
“Jake... it was so good. So... perfect. Goddammit, how can she not see how much I love her?” he asked hoarsely. He finally straightened his head up and looked directly at Jake.
“How did you do it? How did you go for six months when Brinley disappeared, not knowing where she was, needing her and loving her and wanting her? How did you do that?” Casey asked quietly.
“Davis,” he said honestly. “I did okay, fair for about a month. As long as there were plenty of new trails to explore, keep trying. But after about a month, I started feeling more and more desperate, more and more like I wasn’t going to find her. Davis kept me going. He kept prodding and pushing and looking. And he dragged me right along with him. I wouldn’t have made it if he hadn’t been here. I never, ever thought I was the kind of man who would even consider ending everything under any circumstances. If it hadn’t been for Davis, I would have done it. I would have given up. I just didn’t see how I could keep going without her. Every time I thought about it, he knew it and he pulled me back.”
Casey dropped his head and rubbed his hand roughly across his forehead. “Can... can you keep pullin’ me back, bubba?” he asked hoarsely.
Jake laid his hand on the back of his neck and squeezed. “Always, son. I’ll always pull you back. You can count on it.”
When Jake’s cell phone rang he glanced at the number then flipped it open. “Hey, sugar... okay, I’m on the way.” He closed the phone and said, “Let’s go home, bubba. J.D.’s ready to go to bed and he’s wantin’ to call Bo.”
Casey nodded and went to the fire and banked it then walked back to adjust the thermostat. “Okay. I’m ready.”
* * *
Casey finally sat up on the side of the bed. Twelve-thirty. He knew Bo had already come home and unloaded the horses. It was quiet now. He sighed and got dressed then grabbed the new CD that had the song on it that kept running through his head every time he closed his eyes and saw Dakota’s face as she walked out the door. He got his portable CD player and put the CD in it then clipped it to his belt and picked up his guitar.
He walked quietly to the front room to get his coat and slipped it on then walked out the back. He stopped and looked around and then finally decided he would go over to the stage they used for the barbeques and weddings that had been held at the ranch. He hoped that was far enough from the house and bunkhouse he wouldn’t wake anyone up.
He uncovered the front edge of the stage and then settled back against it, turning his back to the house, hoping if either the guitar or his voice did carry that by directing it away from the house it would keep from waking any of them. He slipped the headphones on then started the CD and cued it to the song he wanted and set it to repeat that one song. As it played he started picking out different sections of the song, playing along with the CD. And as it repeated each time, he added new sections.
Jake opened his eyes and tried to figure out where Casey was. When he finally decided he was in the back he slipped on his jeans then looked out the back window. When he saw him sitting on the stage with his back to the house he made the decision. He finished getting dressed and walked to the living room and made some phone calls. Then he quietly walked out the back door and across the yard to the picnic tables that were behind where Casey was sitting. He climbed up on top of one and listened as he saw Bo come out of the bunkhouse and walk over to join him. They were sitting silently side by side when Davis and Lonnie both arrived and quietly joined them. Tommy was next. And finally Michael arrived, being the farthest away. They each sat silently listening as he continued to work on the song.
When he had most of the song down, Tommy finally recognized it. He knew it was familiar but he had not been able to place it. “I know that song. ‘What Hurts The Most’,” he whispered.
Jake shook his head. “Yeah. I thought that what it was, too. We’ll wait him out.”
Every man there felt the chills go down their spine when he finally got the music down and then started singing. He knew the words perfectly. He didn’t have to work on that.
“My God,” Davis whispered.
“Yeah. How do you help somebody hurtin’ so much?” Lonnie whispered back.
“Just be here for him, like Davis was for Jake. And like Jake was for Davis,” Bo said softly.
“And like you were all here for me,” Michael added.
“And for me,” Tommy whispered.
“That’s what we do. We’ll be here for him,” Jake said quietly.
They all fell silent when they heard him start the song a second time and heard him put everything he had into the song. When he finished the song they saw him drop his head and switch the player off then pull the headphone off. He lit a cigarette and slowly turned then slid off the stage. Then he went still when he saw the six men lined up on the tables.
“What in the hell are you guys all doin’ up?” Casey asked lowly as he pulled the cover back over the stage.
“Just listenin’, bubba,” Jake said quietly.
“I guess I woke you up. Sorry. I thought maybe I was far enough away not to do that,” he said as he walked closer to them.
“Sounds like you got it down,” Tommy said.
Casey nodded and said, “Yeah. I think so. I bought this CD and another one earlier. That song just kept running through my head, so I thought I might as well get up and give it a shot. What are all of you doing here? It’s the middle of the morning. Hell, Michael, you had to drive an hour to get here. Tommy, thirty minutes. Davis, you got up and left Dusty at home. You guys shouldn’t be here.”
“Sure we should. We didn’t have to come, Casey. We’re here because we wanted to be,” Michael said softly.
Casey shook his head and said, “You’re all gonna be dead tired tomorrow.”
“Then we’ll all sleep late. Except maybe Bo. J.D. will probably be banging through his door bright and early to make sure he’s home, but the rest of us can sleep late,” Jake said with a chuckle.
“That’s alright. I’ll talk him into climbing into bed and goin’ back to sleep,” Bo said.
“Yeah, but Michael and Lonnie actually have offices to go to.”
“Not me. I’m taking a couple of days off,” Lonnie said.
“Me either. The Alpha Team picked a new case today and we’ll start working out of the sweat house on Monday. I don’t have to go in for the rest of the week,” Michael said.
The sweat house was what the team members called the work building that Michael had built behind his house. When they started planning how they were going to work a case, they met there, and the members usually slept there as well in the bedrooms that had been included. Once they started working on a case, none of those involved in the planning and strategy usually went into the office. That included Michael and Trisha.
“Where’s this one? This case?” Jake asked.
“Vegas.”
“Dangerous?” Casey asked.
Michael shook his head and said, “I don’t think so. Don’t worry. They’ll all come home.”
“Go home, guys. Go home and go to bed,” Casey said lowly.
“Actually, I think I’ll have a cigarette before I go,” Davis said. “This picnic table is gettin’ hard though. I’m goin’ over to the back porch.”
“I’ll join you,” Michael added.
“Come on, son. I wanna talk to you anyway,” Tommy said as he slid off the table and hooked an arm over Casey shoulder and they all walked back to the porch.
“Uh-oh,” Casey said lowly.
Tommy laughed and said, “It’s not bad. Come on.”
Once they were all seated and those who smoked had all lit cigarettes, Casey watched Tommy and waited him out.
“Okay. You know I’ve been workin’ on this benefit concert for the Battered Women’s Shelter,” Tommy started.
“No,” Casey said lowly.
“Hold on. Hear me out. I’m ninety-nine-point-nine percent sure I’d never talk Trisha into it, but you know how good Michael is at disguises. What if he disguised you so that not even Brinley would recognize you?” Tommy asked.
Casey dropped his head and said, “Tommy, goddamn. When is this thing?”
“It’s still at least a couple of months away, maybe three. We’re still trying to coordinate all the schedules of those acts that want to take part.”
Casey blew out a long breath and thought back to his dream when he was a kid. He turned his head and looked at Jake for a few seconds then turned back to Tommy and said, “Let me think about it. “
“Okay. That’s good enough... for now,” Tommy added with a grin.
Casey dropped his head and groaned. “Give him an inch and he’ll take a mile,” he said lowly but grinned when he heard the others laugh softly.
* * *
“Mornin’, sugar,” Trisha said when Casey walked into the kitchen.
“Is it still mornin’?” he mumbled.
Trisha laughed and said, “Yes, it is. You beat the others up. They’re all still asleep. Brinley and Dusty are down the hallway. The kids were too quiet, and they wanted to check on them. J.D. went out to find Bo and hasn’t come back. Brinley went out to peek in and they’re both sound asleep. Here, sugar. Sit down. I’ll get you some coffee.”
“Thanks,” he said lowly as he sank into the chair.
When she sat the cup in front of him he caught her hand. “Trisha, I... did something.”
“I know, honey. She came to the house last night. I know about it,” Trisha said quietly.
Casey looked up at her and then pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her as he leaned his head against her shoulder. “I shouldn’t have done it. I said some things. Some things I shouldn’t have said. It just hurts so much. Trisha, I don’t know how to do this. I want to be with her, but that’s not what she wants, not the way I do. I can’t settle for just a piece of her,” he asked quietly.
“I know you can’t. Casey, if I could fix this for you I would. She’s a fool,” Trisha said softly.
He shook his head and said, “I think I’m probably the fool. How can I still love her? How can I still want her so much?”
“It’s not a light switch, baby. You can’t just turn it off when you want to. It doesn’t work that way. But no matter what happens, I love you,” she whispered.
Casey smiled slightly and laid a hand on her stomach. “Hey, boys. You’ve got a special mother. You’d better treat her right or you’ll answer to me. Got it?”
Trisha burst out laughing and said, “I’ll hold you to that. I’m sending them to you when they misbehave.”
“Deal,” he said grinning up at her.
“Hey, hey, hey. I can’t let you go anywhere without finding you sittin’ in some good-lookin’ young man’s lap,” Michael growled when he came through the door, but the grin gave away that he didn’t mean it.
“Oops. Damn, got caught. I thought he’d sleep longer. Sorry, sugar,” she said with a sad look as she kissed Casey on the cheek then scooted out of his lap when they both laughed at her.
“Well, good morning. I see two of you managed to revive,” Brinley said with a grin as she and Dusty walked back down the hallway carrying the younger boys.
“Morning everybody,” Jake said as walked into the kitchen. He stopped and kissed Case then lifted Brinley’s chin for a soft kiss. “Mornin’, Texas.”
“Mornin’, Ranger. Sit down, baby. I’ll get you some coffee and fix you some breakfast,” she said as she smiled up at him.
“Just coffee, sugar. I’ll get it. Michael, coffee?” Jake asked as he walked to the coffee pot.
“Thanks,” Michael replied as he walked over the counter and waited for Jake to pour two cups.
Lonnie, Davis, Tommy, and Carley all walked in at the same time with all three men laughing and Carley blushing.
“Oh, Lord. What are you guys teasing her about now?” Dusty asked.
“Now, we’re not teasin’ her. What makes you think we would tease her?” Davis said with a wide grin.
“These women are so suspicious of us. Every time they see a woman blush they think it’s our fault. It’s not our fault. It’s Tommy’s fault,” Lonnie said.
Tommy smiled broadly. “Now, that’s not true. You asked if I just got up and all I said was that I’ve been up more than once this morning, thank you.”
“Oh, my God,” Brinley groaned when the men all laughed again. “You men are terrible.”
“Ah, but you wouldn’t love us any other way,” Bo said with a chuckle as he walked through the back door with J.D. in his arms. “I found this little bundle in my bed. Anybody know who it belongs to?”
“I think he belongs to all of us,” Trisha said as she walked by with several cups of coffee and kissed J.D. on the cheek.
Bo set J.D. on the floor and he ran to his daddy and climbed up in his lap. “Daddy, we go see Cloud?”
Jake grinned at the little boy and hugged him close. “You bet. Let Daddy drink some coffee first and then we’ll go.”
J.D. nodded and turned around and leaned back against Jake’s chest.
“Cloud?” Tommy asked.
Bo chuckled and said, “That’s the little paint you bought for J.D. to have over at your place. That’s what he named him.”
“Oh, yeah? Why Cloud?”
Jake dropped his eyes down to J.D. then back up to Tommy and said, “He said that the markings on one side looked like a cloud. So that’s what he named him.”
Tommy laughed and said, “Cloud it is then. Will he be ready soon?”
“He’s ready now. I’ve already had J.D. on him a couple of times. I thought I’d let him ride him a few more times before I sent him over to your place.”
“Hey, what is everybody doing today?” Bo asked.
