Casey (The Seven Brothers of Elko: Book Five), page 13
“A little, yeah. It’s fun to put that CD in or turn on the radio and hear the single that they released. But you know, things change. I mean it’s fun to get up there with Tommy at the barbeques or the weddings. But to do it for a living... naw, that’s just not something I have a desire for anymore. It might be nice to be able to just get up there and sing with him at the club some night when he sits in the with the band but that’s not a smart idea since everybody’s convinced that anybody who hears me will figure out who ‘The Deputy’ is. And I sure don’t want that. I don’t want that publicity. It probably wouldn’t have been much if we hadn’t insisted on the secrecy, but there would be now. Wantin’ to know why I didn’t want anybody to know who I was, all that kind of stuff.”
Jake chuckled and said, “Yeah, right. Boy, they’d have been all over you like white on rice. Especially if they found out you were unsigned. Hell, you’d probably have people speedin’ just to get you to write ‘em a ticket so they could get your autograph.”
Casey burst out laughing, “Oh, come on. That’s Tommy, bubba. Not me.”
Jake shook his head and said, “I’m with Tommy on this, son. I just cannot understand how you can put that CD on and listen to yourself and not understand how special your voice is. You and Trisha both. But at any rate, I’m glad you’re here and not out on the road touring somewhere. Still, if you ever change your mind, you let us know. You have to do what’s right for you.”
Casey looked around him and grinned. “I am, bubba. Know any big stars that are probably kicked back on a front porch with their feet propped up, drinkin’ a good cup of coffee and spending time with their brother right now?”
Jake grinned and shook his head. “Probably not. Except maybe Tommy. Nope, not him either. He might be kicked back on the porch, but I don’t think any of the brothers are over there right now.”
Casey nodded and said, “I rest my case.”
“Looks to me like you’re restin’ your ass,” Bo said as he rounded the corner of the house.
Jake and Casey both laughed as Bo joined them on the porch. “Do you want some coffee?” Jake asked.
“I’ll go in and get a cup in a second. I just wanted to let you know that I postponed that trip I was gonna take tomorrow for a day. I didn’t want to have Michael flying out and me driving out on the same day. I put it off until Wednesday,” Bo said quietly.
“Thanks, man. I’m hoping that tomorrow will show him that Michael will come back okay from a flight. Maybe that’s the first step to getting him past this,” Jake said seriously.
“I hope so. Now, I know all those girls have appointments on Wednesday. I won’t get back until late. I expect a phone call to let me know what y’all find out,” Bo said with a grin.
“You got it. You’ll be the first call,” Jake said.
“Good deal. I’m goin’ to get a cup of coffee. Be right back.”
Jake chuckled and said quietly, “Watch his face when he comes back out.”
They both waited until Bo was seated in one of the chairs before Jake asked, “Are you gonna pull that trailer with your new truck?”
“Are you crazy?” Bo asked quickly with a scowl on his face. “Hell, no. I ain’t pullin’ that thing with my shiny new toy. I’m using that to pick up girls, bubba.”
Jake and Casey both burst out laughing. “You traded your truck in. What are you gonna pull it with?”
“Gonna use yours,” Bo said with a grin.
“Oh, hell no you’re not,” Jake came right back then laughed when he figured out that Bo had baited him just like he’d done to Bo first.
“No, I’m gonna use the ranch truck. I put a new trailer hitch on it this afternoon. It’ll pull it just fine,” Bo said.
“Good. If it’s time to get a new one, buy it. That one’s got a lot of miles on it,” Jake said.
Bo nodded and said, “Yeah. It’s got a few more left in it though. It’ll do for now.”
“Is Brinley still in the black hole?” Casey asked.
Bo nodded and said, “Yep. Walked through told her good evening, that the Texas Rangers’ hat she had on was quite becoming, and that she had a spider on her shoulder. Not even a flinch. Didn’t hear a word I said.”
Jake and Casey both laughed. Bo often walked through when Brinley was working and would say something outrageous to her to try to see if she could really hear him or not. So far, nothing had penetrated that wall around her.
“Hey, little boy, Lonnie and I are going out to the club tomorrow night. Wanna go?” Bo asked.
“You notice he didn’t ask the married guy,” Jake said with a grin.
“Why hell no. You can’t pick up girls,” Bo cracked.
“Who’s your designated driver?” Jake asked seriously.
“I’m not plannin’ on gettin’ drunk, bubba. We’re just gonna have a good time. I know the two beer rule. I’m not facing Michael the morning after. I swear that man knows every beer one of us drinks somehow. Besides I need to leave early on Wednesday if I’m gonna make it back before midnight,” Bo said shaking his head.
“I don’t know. Maybe. I’ll let you know tomorrow,” Casey said. Maybe that’s the first step to getting his life moving again. Maybe he should start going out and having a good time. The best times at a club he could remember though were when the whole family went.
“We should all go this weekend. Friday or Saturday. We haven’t been since before Tommy and Carley got married,” Casey said looking at Jake.
Jake nodded and said, “Yeah, I’d like to. It would be fun to get out. We’ll check with everybody and see if they all want to go and I’ll call Maria and see if she’s available to watch the kids either night. We should all go to that steak place on the way, too. I haven’t been in there in a while.”
Then a thought crossed Jake’s mind and he grinned. “Oh. We should go Friday night.”
“Why Friday night?” Bo asked and then dropped his head and grinned. “Oh.”
Casey frowned and looked back and forth between them. “What? What’d I miss? What’s Friday night?”
Jake and Bo both slowly lifted their heads and their eyes met then they both turned to look at Casey in surprise. “What’s Friday night? What do you mean what’s Friday night?” Jake asked.
Casey frowned and said, “Okay. You’re up to something. I know when you’re up to something. I mean, what’s special about Friday night.”
Jake and Bo both burst out laughing. “You really don’t know?”
Casey thought for a few seconds then shook his head. “Nothing I can think of. Come on, what’s Friday night?”
Jake shook his head and grinned. “Your birthday, son.”
Casey frowned and said, “Really? That’s not this week is it?” He shoved out of the chair and walked into the kitchen to look at the calendar then came back shaking his head.
“Damn. I lost a whole week. I thought it was next week. Daddy was right. He always said the older you get the faster time goes by. Hell. Twenty-five already,” he grumbled.
Jake and Bo both burst out laughing again. “Just a baby. Wait’ll you’re thirty-eight. Then talk to me about how fast time’s runnin’ by you.”
“Or even thirty-three. Hell, I can almost hear the wings rustlin’ as it flies on by,” Bo said.
Casey sighed and said, “Well, shoot. Friday it is then, unless Maria can’t keep the kids. Speakin’ of time gettin’ away. I wanna get the kids over to the house tomorrow and let’s get their first measurement marked on their boards.”
“We’ll do it. Come on. Let’s go see if we can sneak some of that snow ice cream out of the freezer while Brinley’s in the black hole,” Jake said.
* * *
Casey pulled the covers over him then linked his hands behind his head and gazed out the windows at the stars.
Twenty-five. Where the hell did it go? When did I get to be not a kid anymore? What the hell have I done with my life. I was supposed to be married and have a couple of kids by the time I got to twenty-five.
He thought back over the traumatic events of his life. The milestones. Carl getting killed when he was ten. The day his Mom died when he was seventeen. His Dad at eighteen. Then came the day Tommy had called and said he had a jet waiting for him at the airport. Get home as fast as he could. Followed by the attack in Vegas. And the second call from Tommy with the same message. Come as fast as you can. The call from Jake saying that Michael had been shot. ‘Come to Idaho. We don’t know if he’s gonna make it.’ If he was going to be truthful, he’d have to add the day Dakota came home and they found out she’d been raped and beaten up and last Saturday when he’d shown up unexpectedly at her apartment to that list.
He frowned for a few seconds. Hmmm. That’s not a very long list for twenty-five years. They all hurt. They all still hurt. But that’s not very many things to list for twenty-five years.
Then he started making a list of the good times that started with memories of riding around on the back of Tommy’s motorcycle with him and Brinley on the back of Carl’s when they were kids and ended with the time he’d spent tonight on the porch with Jake and Bo. And then added going in to kiss the kids goodnight in their sleep before he’d come to bed and surviving his close call the day before. This list far outweighed the first one.
But what had he done with his life? He’d wanted to sing. He didn’t do that. Wanted to become a veterinarian, but he didn’t do that either. Instead switching to criminal justice after the second attack on Brinley and then came to Elko and went to work in the Sheriff’s office. Hmmm. Not much. He thought back to things that all of the brothers had told him from time to time. Always there for all of us. Three kids who he knew loved him. Six brothers he knew loved him. A sister and three sisters-in-law who all loved him.
Well, hell. It can’t be all bad if you’ve got all these people who love you. Bound to have done something right along the way somewhere. Got a house. Thousand acres of land thanks to Jake and Davis. A new truck. A good job. Chance to be a partner in the ranch or the company if I want it. Strong and healthy. Not too damn ugly.
He finally shook his head and chuckled.
Casey, boy. I believe you’ve got a lot more checks in the plus column than you do the minus. Maybe the first twenty-five years didn’t just go down the drain. I guess it’s been pretty full after all.
He finally closed his eyes and then swore when Dakota’s face floated through his mind. Beautiful brown eyes, soft lips that taste so good. Olive skin so soft, velvety. And a smile that lit up the room. Silky black hair that would just flow through his fingers.
Goddammit. Leave me alone. I’m movin’ on, so just leave me alone.
How had she changed so much? He’d first met her in Idaho when Jake had sent a jet for her to come up there to support Trisha when Michael was so critical. His own emotional state at the possibility of losing Michael had been shaky at best. Jake had been the one who had comforted him, talked him through that. Kept him going until it was learned that Michael would survive. Only then did he take notice of the stunning creature standing beside her mother and father at the side of Michael’s hospital bed. So beautiful. So open. And damned if she hadn’t aroused him standing in a room full of people waiting for Michael to wake up. He had barely spoken to her there. She was still a student at UNLV then.
But then she had come to Michael and Trisha’s wedding and something new had happened. Something he couldn’t define at first, but he knew he didn’t want her to leave. They had talked and laughed, danced together. He had wanted more than once to pull her close when they were dancing but he couldn’t because she had aroused him so much. But then they’d had the last dance and he hadn’t been able to help himself. When the slow love song had started, he pulled her gently against him and when her arms had gone around his neck he slowly tightened his around her. She had turned her face to nestle against the side of his neck and as they danced, he lost his heart.
He didn’t tell her. Didn’t tell her how he felt. Didn’t ask her if she felt the same things. She had taken that job in Las Vegas by then. He couldn’t keep her from pursuing the career she’d worked so hard to get. How could he stop her from chasing that dream?
He should have told her. Maybe she wouldn’t have gone. Maybe she would have stayed. When he told her after she’d been raped, begged her not to go back, maybe it was too late then. Maybe she’d already changed by that time and he’d waited too late, missed his chance. He should have told her. He blew out a long breath and ran his hands through his hair.
Doesn’t matter. Too late now. Doesn’t matter now. Gotta stop this.
* * *
“Good mornin’, family,” Casey said cheerfully.
Brinley’s eyebrows went up and she chuckled. “Well, you certainly got up chipper this morning.”
Casey grinned as he stopped to kiss her and walked over to pour a cup of coffee. When he sat down at the table he said, “How can I not be?”
“Jake said he thought you were a little down about your upcoming birthday last night.”
Casey cut his eyes to Jake then chuckled. “I guess I was until I laid down last night and started thinking. Tryin’ to figure out where the hell it all went and how many things I’d wanted to do by this time that hadn’t turned out right. And I started listing the things that marked the bad times. You know, not all of them, just the ones that really had an impact, like Carl, Mom and Dad dying, what happened to you, Michael getting shot. I was kind of surprised when the list came up pretty short. Then I started listing the good ones.”
He stopped and shook his head. “Pretty damn long list. Figured out there wasn’t any time wasted after all to have had all those things and be sittin’ where I am today, with this big family around me. Kinda lookin’ forward to the rest of them now.”
Jake laughed and said, “That’s good. I’m glad to hear it because I called everybody and we’re definitely going to the club Friday night. We’re gonna celebrate.”
“I’ll be ready. Hell, I might even go buy a new shirt, just for the occasion. You know I always thought I’d be married and have a couple of kids by this age. That didn’t turn out. Veterinarian... changed my mind about that. And then of course there was the big star thing. Didn’t try that either. But I finally understood that I’m right where I’m supposed to be. Surrounded by people I love who love me back. How can you get any better than that?” he asked as he leaned down and picked up Case who’d toddled over to him.
Jake smiled at Brinley then back at Casey. “You can’t, son. It just doesn’t get any better than that.”
“Wait... what do you mean the big star thing?” Brinley asked frowning.
Casey dropped his head and said, “Damn. Did I say that?”
Jake laughed and said, “Yep. Was it a secret?”
“Well, yeah. Last night when I told you, it was the first time I’d ever told anybody that. Shoot,” Casey grumbled.
“Too late now. Spill it,” Brinley prodded.
Casey sighed and said, “When we were little, you know how Tommy was always at the house, playin’ that old guitar he had and singin’ songs to us?”
“Yeah. He’d always call you over there and get you to sing with him just like he does J.D. now. I think he started that when you were... what about six or seven?”
Casey nodded and said, “As long as I can remember. My dream back then was to grow up and the two of us sing together. I had it all pictured in my head. We were gonna be the biggest, hottest duo in country music history.” He glanced up at Brinley and burst out laughing at the look of surprise on her face.
“Casey, I don’t understand. Tommy tried to get you to do that. He tried to get you to go on the road with him instead of going to college. Why didn’t you if that’s what you always wanted?” she asked quietly.
“Because, sis. When I graduated, I still wanted that, but I wanted to have an education under my belt first. Just in case it didn’t work out, you know. And then I changed my mind about wanting to do it. I saw what they did to him during and after the trial. All those good buddies who suddenly forgot his name. Record company wanted to cancel his contract on moral grounds because of the lies that got printed. As much as I would have liked to sing with him, I decided I didn’t want to be a member of any group of people, an entire industry, who could treat people that way. I just didn’t want to have anything to do with any of them,” he said seriously.
“Casey, I’m sorry. Sugar, I never knew any of this,” she whispered.
“Hell, sis. Ain’t nothin’ to be sorry about. I just got through telling you it worked out right. I’m right where I’m supposed to be, doing what I want to do. I can’t be sorry about that.”
Then he snapped is fingers and said, “You know what I thought about last night when I was going back over all the stuff in our lives? You remember that big white dog we had when I was little? What was his name?”
“Koda,” Brinley said with a little grin. “Jake you should have seen this dog. Daddy always said he was part wolf but he was snow white. And he loved Casey to death. We had him even before Casey was born but he took Casey as his own. When he was really little, I guess three or four, if he thought Casey was in trouble, Koda would push him down and then stand over the top of him. And he had a growl that would send chills down your spine, I don’t care how big and tough you are,” she added shaking her head.
“Koda. That’s it. I couldn’t remember what it was,” Casey said grinning. “He died when I was seven or eight?”
Brinley nodded and said, “Seven because I was twelve. He was pretty old. I don’t even remember how we got him. I just remember him always being there.”
“I remember Tommy and Carl taking me everywhere with them for a long time after he died to keep me from missing him so much,” Casey said quietly.
