Eagle Elite Volume II, page 87
“Get used to it!” she called back.
Damn it. Round two went to Val.
Three hours later, Val brought food into my office, I was hunched over my computer typing vigorously away and I still hadn’t located any info on her best friend. It was literally like she didn’t exist. But she’d have to be brilliant to wipe her own school records, unless someone did it for her.
“Hey.” Val plopped down in one of the chairs. “I already ate. I didn’t want to bother you, but here’s some food.” She pointed to the plate. “I have cookies for you when you’re done.”
I forced an exhausted smile. “Great, thanks.”
She frowned, then stood and walked over to me, leaning over my shoulder. Normally it pissed me off, people looking over my shoulder at my own shit. That was my domain, my world, but, for some weird reason, I wanted her to see it, the code, the hacking, the weird numbers and algorithms.
“Wow.” She sighed and pointed at the screen. “What does that even mean?”
“It’s a type of language. If you know it, you can use it to your advantage.” I typed in a few keys and hit enter. A picture of Val in high school appeared.
She burst out laughing. “Tell me you love the braces.”
“My very first thought. Next to the One Direction shirt of course.”
I received a pinch in the side.
“Show me another,” she whispered, her words kissing my neck with their nearness. I was powerless to say no, so I typed something else in and found another picture, this one from Facebook.
She was laughing hard, Dante was trying to steal her Kindle, and suddenly, my world did a little flip.
It was the exact picture from my folder.
Without thinking I grabbed the black folder from the other side of my desk and flipped it open.
It was the exact same picture.
“What!” Val hissed out a little yelp. “You have pictures of me.”
I nodded, unable to speak. “It’s the first one I saw of you.”
“But that…” She frowned. “That wasn’t recent at all. I mean it was taken easily over a year ago.”
Which was why, when I met her, I was shocked, nearly brought to my knees.
“I’m not sure.” Because usually the mafia was better than that. Hell, Luca was better than that.
He would have updated information, or asked someone to update my folder, right?
Or was it just laziness?
I frowned.
Torn between wanting to call Phoenix and dig some more on my own.
“Sergio?”
“Yeah?”
I hadn’t even realized Val had my folder until it was too late, with shaking hands she pulled out a picture of Luca and frowned. “I hate him.”
Tears streamed down her face as she ran out of the room and up the stairs.
Her father?
I understood. I really did, I hated it, but a part of me got it—understood her anger. So I sighed, and slowly followed her up the stairs just as her door slammed shut.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
…grows, lives, and dies in blessedness. –A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Valentina
With shaking hands, I grabbed the last note and started to read.
I’m sorry.
It’s really all I can say.
I think if I explained myself, it wouldn’t make sense, not yet anyway. So, I leave you with this.
Ask him to show you.
Ask him to show you us.
But only after you show him a picture of you and me.
The picture fluttered into my lap.
I read the note again and again, then picked up the picture, just as Sergio burst into the room, making a beeline for my bed.
“Val.” His voice was cold. “Why are you in a picture with my dead wife?”
He was wrong.
Completely delirious with his anger and sadness, and it was finally breaking him, making him hallucinate. Irritated, I shoved him away. “It’s my friend, Ara.”
“No.” Sergio jerked the picture from my hands and stared. “That’s Andi.”
“No.” I shook my head, unable to believe what he was saying. “That’s my best friend. She’s—she’s fine, and she’s happy, and you’re just confused because you’re sad.” Tears streamed down my face. “Everyone has a doppelganger you know? Everyone! It’s not her!”
Sergio’s eyes closed briefly before he held out his hand. “There’s something you need to see.”
I wanted to climb under the blankets. I wanted to ignore him, ignore the pain in my chest at his expression, ignore the world, but his eyes had changed, transformed from this deeply rooted sadness to something worse.
Pity.
I grabbed his hand and followed him down to the guest room where he’d grabbed the swimsuits.
He opened the door wide.
And turned on the lights.
It wasn’t a huge room.
Still pretty in its own way, even though it was smaller than mine, less new. Then again, it could be the fact that the blinds were drawn, a choking sensation wrapped itself around my neck as I tried to inhale through the staleness of the room, with shaking hands I touched my neck in an effort to free up the air.
“This…”Sergio grabbed a framed picture, held it close to his chest, and closed his eyes briefly. “This is Andi.”
I reached for it, but he didn’t hand it over, instead he eyed me up and down with suspicion as if I knew some great secret.
“What?”
“You really have no idea, do you?”
“What are you talking about?” I think, deep down, I suspected, maybe I even knew, but I didn’t want to know, I wanted to turn on my heel and run out of the house, out into the field, I wanted to run, and I had no idea why, other than the look on his face told me my world, or the world I’d known up until then, was going to be shattered one last time, maybe for good.
He sighed and bowed his head, then handed over the frame.
The minute my hands locked on it, it was like a physical shift in my body as I turned it over and stared.
My friend Ara… was Andi.
The same smile, lips, posture, eyes.
Shaking, I nearly dropped the picture until Sergio held my hands, gripping them in his.
I should be confused, scared, angry, so many things, instead, all I felt, was such a horrific sadness that I collapsed to my knees and sobbed.
Because it was she who had helped me.
She who had, at one point, made me feel alive.
She had who rescued me when nobody knew I needed saving.
It was his dead wife.
Who had brought me into the land of the living.
And I couldn’t even thank her.
I couldn’t say thank you.
And worst of all—I hadn’t even known she was gone—until it was too late.
“No.” I pressed my hands against the carpeted floor and tried to breathe through my tears. “No, it’s not true. You’re lying! It’s a trick!” I didn’t recognize my own voice as I screamed at him.
“Breathe.” Sergio ran his hand down my spine and whispered urgently, “Breathe in and out.”
“I am!” I choked out a breath. “Breathing! Leave me alone!” I tried to swat his hand away but all of my strength was zapped the minute I locked eyes with her.
It had to be her.
It had to be her.
“Why?” I finally croaked out once I was able to form the words. “Why would she do that to me? Befriend me then leave?” And die. I didn’t say the last part, maybe I didn’t need to. It was a selfish thought, but I was feeling selfish, and more than abandoned, tricked even.
Had our friendship been real at all?
Or had she used me?
With a sigh, Sergio joined me on the floor. A sliver of sunlight peaked through the curtain drawing a line on the carpet between our bodies.
“I wish I had answers. I don’t.” He sighed. “I had no idea, Val, believe me. If I had…”
“What?” I gasped. “What would you have done? Anything different?” Please say no. It was hard enough being rejected by him, but being married to the man my best friend had loved with her whole heart, knowing he had felt the same way about her.
It was impossible not to feel angry and hurt, but what was even worse, was I could see it, how easily she fell even if it wasn’t on purpose, and how much she must have loved him.
“What were you holding earlier?” Sergio asked. “In your bedroom?”
I stared down at my hands. “Letters.”
“Letters,” he repeated. “From Andi? Or Ara?” he corrected.
“No.” I frowned. “I have no idea who sent them, I was given a key to a security box at the bank and—”
“And you’re just telling me this now?” His voice rose an octave as he scooted closer to me. “Seriously! It could have been a trap! You could have gotten hurt. Need I remind you that there’s a pissed off Russian who wants to kill you?”
I shivered at the thought. “It was before I met you.”
“And that makes it better?”
“Stop!” I shoved at his chest. “I was lonely, okay?” Tears streamed down my face. “My best friend had all but abandoned me, Dante was distancing himself, and I was bored! I had nobody to talk to, and then suddenly I get this letter, assuming it’s from Ara, FINALLY, you know? Because she just stopped writing and I tore it open without thinking, and then, I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I don’t know what happened, suddenly I was in front of the bank and—” I frowned.
“And what?”
“And Mil was there… and this other tall guy, who was really good looking and—” I vaguely remembered the guy with the easy smile. I blinked at Sergio and then let out a little gasp. “He looked… like you.”
Sergio tensed next to me. “A really good looking guy with Mil who wasn’t Chase and looks like me?”
“Yes. No. Maybe.” I pressed my fingertips to my temples. “But he was lankier.”
“Oh, that’s helpful.” He bit back a curse and shook his head.
“I’m sorry!” I snapped. “I didn’t know I was going to be getting profiled later!”
“Shit,” Sergio whispered out the curse. “I’m sorry, it just, none of this makes sense, and if I’m right, which I typically always am, that means my brother Ax has been in on this since the beginning.”
“Y-your brother?”
He clenched his jaw and then asked, “May I see the letters?”
“You’ve already seen one, on our wedding day, it came with the dress.”
The silence was tense.
“If you show me that one, I’ll show you mine.”
“No.” He didn’t even pause or hesitate.
So much for trusting each other.
Another curse escaped between his full lips before he pulled out his phone and pressed a button then barked out, “Mil, tell me what the hell is going on now, or I’m going to point a gun at your husband’s temple and pull the trigger.”
I didn’t hear what she said on the other end.
“Phoenix? What do you mean Phoenix?” Sergio’s eyes widened. “Frank too? Fine, send him over now.”
He tossed the phone onto the carpet and groaned.
“Good news?” I sighed, tugging at the carpet fibers.
“She said to ask Phoenix since it was he and Frank who were given the instructions.”
“Instructions?” I shook my head. “For what?”
Sergio hung his head. “Our love story.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Exactly.” He rose and held out his hand. “Phoenix was with Chase anyway, so Mil relayed the message, they’re on their way.”
“They?”
“Everyone.”
I suddenly wanted to crawl into the bed and hide, but not my bed, not even Segio’s, hers.
My best friend’s.
Because I knew if she were here, she could explain the method to her madness, and she’d also laugh with me and tell me everything was going to be okay.
And maybe, after she did that, I could apologize.
For falling in love with the same man.
Only I wasn’t sorry.
I would never be sorry.
And that made me the worst sort of best friend, the worst sort of person, because every time I thought about her touching him, a pang of jealousy shot through my chest. Cancer or not, if she were here, I’d still fight for him.
And I hated myself for it.
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
If we imagine no worse of them than they of themselves, they may pass for excellent men. –A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Sergio
It was raining again.
I was angry again.
I was frustrated.
I was irritated.
And as much as I wanted to comfort Val, I was livid that she’d kept such a secret from me—for so long. How could I trust her in the future?
The division between us grew along with the silence as the gang slowly started to arrive.
They knew something.
And it pissed me off that they’d kept it from me right along with Val, then again, she was as much a victim as I was. What the HELL had Andi been thinking?
Maybe she’d been delirious, and Frank hadn’t the heart to tell her no, maybe Phoenix was desperate, maybe they were all worried I would jump off a cliff the minute she passed.
They’d had good reason to be worried.
As much as I didn’t want to admit it.
Phoenix was the last to arrive, and when he did, he slammed the door behind him with such force; the aftershock pierced the tension in the house with a knife, causing an explosion of emotion to boil in my chest. I surged to my feet and started to charge him, only to be intercepted by both Tex and Nixon.
“Stop,” Nixon hissed in an angry tone. “You attacking him accomplishes nothing, let him speak.”
I took a deep breath and nodded as Nixon shoved me back toward the couch where Val was curled up. The girls had stayed home. I really wished they hadn’t, because Val needed someone, something, and I couldn’t give it to her, not now, maybe not ever.
How do you comfort someone in this type of situation? I’m sorry that I was married to your best friend and didn’t know it? I’m sorry she abandoned you, may have betrayed you, and hurt you? I’m sorry that I loved her?
I’m sorry that I’m falling for you too?
Shit, it was messed up. And for the first time since Andi’s death, I felt anger toward her, actual anger.
I hated it.
Phoenix walked over to the sound system and popped in a DVD then grabbed the remote and pressed play.
The screen was black.
And then it was filled with Andi.
I bit out a curse as she smiled, her body so frail and worn from the cancer that she was almost unrecognizable. She had put on makeup, but the dark circles under her eyes were still noticeable, the glassy expression that she wore during her last two weeks, one where you could almost swear they were caught between heaven and hell. It was an expression of sadness and waiting, but it was also an expression of peace.
“Surprise!” she said in a loud voice as she spread her arms wide. “And don’t be mad,” she coughed out. “Sergio.”
And God I wanted to be mad, but she made it damn near impossible.
“First…” She shrugged. “I need to explain myself.” She bit down on her lip and frowned. “I was sent to New York first. I worked for your dad, Val.” Tears filled her eyes. “He saved me. I know you didn’t know that, but he saved me from my father. He used to work for the FBI, but my real dad was Russian Mob. Sergio can fill you in. Those details aren’t really important. What’s important is that you know, the moment I met you, I was jealous. Insanely, out of this world jealous. I knew who you were, and I knew who you were going to end up with. It was the perfect setup for the Families, and while I worked for your father, I was supposed to be gaining intel on Xavier, who, newsflash, is bat shit crazy, so you guys better shut down whatever he’s brewing over there. Anyway, I was under cover, but as things started brewing between my Family and the Italians, I was sent to Eagle Elite to start school, with the goal of infiltrating, so basically I’m like a bad ass double agent. That was around the time I found out my leukemia was back, and I knew it was kind of like one of those missions you go on where you know you’ll never make it back.” A tear escaped, sliding down her cheek.
She wiped it away and shrugged. “I didn’t want you to remember me like this.” She pointed down at herself. “Frail and diseased. You were and still are my best friend. The plan was never for me to end up with Sergio, I’m sure you know that by now. But my father was coming after me, and it was the only way. And I’m so sorry.” More tears fell. “I’m sorry that I stole his kisses.”
My heart clenched in my chest.
“I’m sorry I stole those moments from you, moments you should have had first.” She smiled. “But I can’t be sorry I had him. And I know you well enough to know, you probably feel the same way. If I was in that room right now, you’d slap me then hug me, then slap me again. I know you. You’re good. So maybe you’d just shove me or something, since good girls don’t slap.” She winked. I scooted closer to Val and wrapped my arm around her as she started to sob into her hands. “Please don’t be mad, Val. You were one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I wish I could have stayed in touch, but Luca made me swear to keep your identity a secret, and once he died, everything kind of… came to the surface. I did write you, just so you know. The letters were supposed to be delivered right before your first meeting with the beast.” She laughed. “Oh, by the way, Sergio, that’s you, both beast and prince, because if I know you well, and I’d like to think I do, you were all bark with very little bite. You had moments of tenderness and then regret. A process I’m sure you’re still struggling not to repeat over and over again.”
I squeezed Val’s shoulder as shame washed over me.
“So, the letters. There’s one more for you to read, Val. Phoenix will give it to you, and by then, I think you’ll know what you need to do. Please don’t be mad. This was the only way… the only way I could think of to give you guys a chance.”
Damn it. Round two went to Val.
Three hours later, Val brought food into my office, I was hunched over my computer typing vigorously away and I still hadn’t located any info on her best friend. It was literally like she didn’t exist. But she’d have to be brilliant to wipe her own school records, unless someone did it for her.
“Hey.” Val plopped down in one of the chairs. “I already ate. I didn’t want to bother you, but here’s some food.” She pointed to the plate. “I have cookies for you when you’re done.”
I forced an exhausted smile. “Great, thanks.”
She frowned, then stood and walked over to me, leaning over my shoulder. Normally it pissed me off, people looking over my shoulder at my own shit. That was my domain, my world, but, for some weird reason, I wanted her to see it, the code, the hacking, the weird numbers and algorithms.
“Wow.” She sighed and pointed at the screen. “What does that even mean?”
“It’s a type of language. If you know it, you can use it to your advantage.” I typed in a few keys and hit enter. A picture of Val in high school appeared.
She burst out laughing. “Tell me you love the braces.”
“My very first thought. Next to the One Direction shirt of course.”
I received a pinch in the side.
“Show me another,” she whispered, her words kissing my neck with their nearness. I was powerless to say no, so I typed something else in and found another picture, this one from Facebook.
She was laughing hard, Dante was trying to steal her Kindle, and suddenly, my world did a little flip.
It was the exact picture from my folder.
Without thinking I grabbed the black folder from the other side of my desk and flipped it open.
It was the exact same picture.
“What!” Val hissed out a little yelp. “You have pictures of me.”
I nodded, unable to speak. “It’s the first one I saw of you.”
“But that…” She frowned. “That wasn’t recent at all. I mean it was taken easily over a year ago.”
Which was why, when I met her, I was shocked, nearly brought to my knees.
“I’m not sure.” Because usually the mafia was better than that. Hell, Luca was better than that.
He would have updated information, or asked someone to update my folder, right?
Or was it just laziness?
I frowned.
Torn between wanting to call Phoenix and dig some more on my own.
“Sergio?”
“Yeah?”
I hadn’t even realized Val had my folder until it was too late, with shaking hands she pulled out a picture of Luca and frowned. “I hate him.”
Tears streamed down her face as she ran out of the room and up the stairs.
Her father?
I understood. I really did, I hated it, but a part of me got it—understood her anger. So I sighed, and slowly followed her up the stairs just as her door slammed shut.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
…grows, lives, and dies in blessedness. –A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Valentina
With shaking hands, I grabbed the last note and started to read.
I’m sorry.
It’s really all I can say.
I think if I explained myself, it wouldn’t make sense, not yet anyway. So, I leave you with this.
Ask him to show you.
Ask him to show you us.
But only after you show him a picture of you and me.
The picture fluttered into my lap.
I read the note again and again, then picked up the picture, just as Sergio burst into the room, making a beeline for my bed.
“Val.” His voice was cold. “Why are you in a picture with my dead wife?”
He was wrong.
Completely delirious with his anger and sadness, and it was finally breaking him, making him hallucinate. Irritated, I shoved him away. “It’s my friend, Ara.”
“No.” Sergio jerked the picture from my hands and stared. “That’s Andi.”
“No.” I shook my head, unable to believe what he was saying. “That’s my best friend. She’s—she’s fine, and she’s happy, and you’re just confused because you’re sad.” Tears streamed down my face. “Everyone has a doppelganger you know? Everyone! It’s not her!”
Sergio’s eyes closed briefly before he held out his hand. “There’s something you need to see.”
I wanted to climb under the blankets. I wanted to ignore him, ignore the pain in my chest at his expression, ignore the world, but his eyes had changed, transformed from this deeply rooted sadness to something worse.
Pity.
I grabbed his hand and followed him down to the guest room where he’d grabbed the swimsuits.
He opened the door wide.
And turned on the lights.
It wasn’t a huge room.
Still pretty in its own way, even though it was smaller than mine, less new. Then again, it could be the fact that the blinds were drawn, a choking sensation wrapped itself around my neck as I tried to inhale through the staleness of the room, with shaking hands I touched my neck in an effort to free up the air.
“This…”Sergio grabbed a framed picture, held it close to his chest, and closed his eyes briefly. “This is Andi.”
I reached for it, but he didn’t hand it over, instead he eyed me up and down with suspicion as if I knew some great secret.
“What?”
“You really have no idea, do you?”
“What are you talking about?” I think, deep down, I suspected, maybe I even knew, but I didn’t want to know, I wanted to turn on my heel and run out of the house, out into the field, I wanted to run, and I had no idea why, other than the look on his face told me my world, or the world I’d known up until then, was going to be shattered one last time, maybe for good.
He sighed and bowed his head, then handed over the frame.
The minute my hands locked on it, it was like a physical shift in my body as I turned it over and stared.
My friend Ara… was Andi.
The same smile, lips, posture, eyes.
Shaking, I nearly dropped the picture until Sergio held my hands, gripping them in his.
I should be confused, scared, angry, so many things, instead, all I felt, was such a horrific sadness that I collapsed to my knees and sobbed.
Because it was she who had helped me.
She who had, at one point, made me feel alive.
She had who rescued me when nobody knew I needed saving.
It was his dead wife.
Who had brought me into the land of the living.
And I couldn’t even thank her.
I couldn’t say thank you.
And worst of all—I hadn’t even known she was gone—until it was too late.
“No.” I pressed my hands against the carpeted floor and tried to breathe through my tears. “No, it’s not true. You’re lying! It’s a trick!” I didn’t recognize my own voice as I screamed at him.
“Breathe.” Sergio ran his hand down my spine and whispered urgently, “Breathe in and out.”
“I am!” I choked out a breath. “Breathing! Leave me alone!” I tried to swat his hand away but all of my strength was zapped the minute I locked eyes with her.
It had to be her.
It had to be her.
“Why?” I finally croaked out once I was able to form the words. “Why would she do that to me? Befriend me then leave?” And die. I didn’t say the last part, maybe I didn’t need to. It was a selfish thought, but I was feeling selfish, and more than abandoned, tricked even.
Had our friendship been real at all?
Or had she used me?
With a sigh, Sergio joined me on the floor. A sliver of sunlight peaked through the curtain drawing a line on the carpet between our bodies.
“I wish I had answers. I don’t.” He sighed. “I had no idea, Val, believe me. If I had…”
“What?” I gasped. “What would you have done? Anything different?” Please say no. It was hard enough being rejected by him, but being married to the man my best friend had loved with her whole heart, knowing he had felt the same way about her.
It was impossible not to feel angry and hurt, but what was even worse, was I could see it, how easily she fell even if it wasn’t on purpose, and how much she must have loved him.
“What were you holding earlier?” Sergio asked. “In your bedroom?”
I stared down at my hands. “Letters.”
“Letters,” he repeated. “From Andi? Or Ara?” he corrected.
“No.” I frowned. “I have no idea who sent them, I was given a key to a security box at the bank and—”
“And you’re just telling me this now?” His voice rose an octave as he scooted closer to me. “Seriously! It could have been a trap! You could have gotten hurt. Need I remind you that there’s a pissed off Russian who wants to kill you?”
I shivered at the thought. “It was before I met you.”
“And that makes it better?”
“Stop!” I shoved at his chest. “I was lonely, okay?” Tears streamed down my face. “My best friend had all but abandoned me, Dante was distancing himself, and I was bored! I had nobody to talk to, and then suddenly I get this letter, assuming it’s from Ara, FINALLY, you know? Because she just stopped writing and I tore it open without thinking, and then, I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I don’t know what happened, suddenly I was in front of the bank and—” I frowned.
“And what?”
“And Mil was there… and this other tall guy, who was really good looking and—” I vaguely remembered the guy with the easy smile. I blinked at Sergio and then let out a little gasp. “He looked… like you.”
Sergio tensed next to me. “A really good looking guy with Mil who wasn’t Chase and looks like me?”
“Yes. No. Maybe.” I pressed my fingertips to my temples. “But he was lankier.”
“Oh, that’s helpful.” He bit back a curse and shook his head.
“I’m sorry!” I snapped. “I didn’t know I was going to be getting profiled later!”
“Shit,” Sergio whispered out the curse. “I’m sorry, it just, none of this makes sense, and if I’m right, which I typically always am, that means my brother Ax has been in on this since the beginning.”
“Y-your brother?”
He clenched his jaw and then asked, “May I see the letters?”
“You’ve already seen one, on our wedding day, it came with the dress.”
The silence was tense.
“If you show me that one, I’ll show you mine.”
“No.” He didn’t even pause or hesitate.
So much for trusting each other.
Another curse escaped between his full lips before he pulled out his phone and pressed a button then barked out, “Mil, tell me what the hell is going on now, or I’m going to point a gun at your husband’s temple and pull the trigger.”
I didn’t hear what she said on the other end.
“Phoenix? What do you mean Phoenix?” Sergio’s eyes widened. “Frank too? Fine, send him over now.”
He tossed the phone onto the carpet and groaned.
“Good news?” I sighed, tugging at the carpet fibers.
“She said to ask Phoenix since it was he and Frank who were given the instructions.”
“Instructions?” I shook my head. “For what?”
Sergio hung his head. “Our love story.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Exactly.” He rose and held out his hand. “Phoenix was with Chase anyway, so Mil relayed the message, they’re on their way.”
“They?”
“Everyone.”
I suddenly wanted to crawl into the bed and hide, but not my bed, not even Segio’s, hers.
My best friend’s.
Because I knew if she were here, she could explain the method to her madness, and she’d also laugh with me and tell me everything was going to be okay.
And maybe, after she did that, I could apologize.
For falling in love with the same man.
Only I wasn’t sorry.
I would never be sorry.
And that made me the worst sort of best friend, the worst sort of person, because every time I thought about her touching him, a pang of jealousy shot through my chest. Cancer or not, if she were here, I’d still fight for him.
And I hated myself for it.
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
If we imagine no worse of them than they of themselves, they may pass for excellent men. –A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Sergio
It was raining again.
I was angry again.
I was frustrated.
I was irritated.
And as much as I wanted to comfort Val, I was livid that she’d kept such a secret from me—for so long. How could I trust her in the future?
The division between us grew along with the silence as the gang slowly started to arrive.
They knew something.
And it pissed me off that they’d kept it from me right along with Val, then again, she was as much a victim as I was. What the HELL had Andi been thinking?
Maybe she’d been delirious, and Frank hadn’t the heart to tell her no, maybe Phoenix was desperate, maybe they were all worried I would jump off a cliff the minute she passed.
They’d had good reason to be worried.
As much as I didn’t want to admit it.
Phoenix was the last to arrive, and when he did, he slammed the door behind him with such force; the aftershock pierced the tension in the house with a knife, causing an explosion of emotion to boil in my chest. I surged to my feet and started to charge him, only to be intercepted by both Tex and Nixon.
“Stop,” Nixon hissed in an angry tone. “You attacking him accomplishes nothing, let him speak.”
I took a deep breath and nodded as Nixon shoved me back toward the couch where Val was curled up. The girls had stayed home. I really wished they hadn’t, because Val needed someone, something, and I couldn’t give it to her, not now, maybe not ever.
How do you comfort someone in this type of situation? I’m sorry that I was married to your best friend and didn’t know it? I’m sorry she abandoned you, may have betrayed you, and hurt you? I’m sorry that I loved her?
I’m sorry that I’m falling for you too?
Shit, it was messed up. And for the first time since Andi’s death, I felt anger toward her, actual anger.
I hated it.
Phoenix walked over to the sound system and popped in a DVD then grabbed the remote and pressed play.
The screen was black.
And then it was filled with Andi.
I bit out a curse as she smiled, her body so frail and worn from the cancer that she was almost unrecognizable. She had put on makeup, but the dark circles under her eyes were still noticeable, the glassy expression that she wore during her last two weeks, one where you could almost swear they were caught between heaven and hell. It was an expression of sadness and waiting, but it was also an expression of peace.
“Surprise!” she said in a loud voice as she spread her arms wide. “And don’t be mad,” she coughed out. “Sergio.”
And God I wanted to be mad, but she made it damn near impossible.
“First…” She shrugged. “I need to explain myself.” She bit down on her lip and frowned. “I was sent to New York first. I worked for your dad, Val.” Tears filled her eyes. “He saved me. I know you didn’t know that, but he saved me from my father. He used to work for the FBI, but my real dad was Russian Mob. Sergio can fill you in. Those details aren’t really important. What’s important is that you know, the moment I met you, I was jealous. Insanely, out of this world jealous. I knew who you were, and I knew who you were going to end up with. It was the perfect setup for the Families, and while I worked for your father, I was supposed to be gaining intel on Xavier, who, newsflash, is bat shit crazy, so you guys better shut down whatever he’s brewing over there. Anyway, I was under cover, but as things started brewing between my Family and the Italians, I was sent to Eagle Elite to start school, with the goal of infiltrating, so basically I’m like a bad ass double agent. That was around the time I found out my leukemia was back, and I knew it was kind of like one of those missions you go on where you know you’ll never make it back.” A tear escaped, sliding down her cheek.
She wiped it away and shrugged. “I didn’t want you to remember me like this.” She pointed down at herself. “Frail and diseased. You were and still are my best friend. The plan was never for me to end up with Sergio, I’m sure you know that by now. But my father was coming after me, and it was the only way. And I’m so sorry.” More tears fell. “I’m sorry that I stole his kisses.”
My heart clenched in my chest.
“I’m sorry I stole those moments from you, moments you should have had first.” She smiled. “But I can’t be sorry I had him. And I know you well enough to know, you probably feel the same way. If I was in that room right now, you’d slap me then hug me, then slap me again. I know you. You’re good. So maybe you’d just shove me or something, since good girls don’t slap.” She winked. I scooted closer to Val and wrapped my arm around her as she started to sob into her hands. “Please don’t be mad, Val. You were one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I wish I could have stayed in touch, but Luca made me swear to keep your identity a secret, and once he died, everything kind of… came to the surface. I did write you, just so you know. The letters were supposed to be delivered right before your first meeting with the beast.” She laughed. “Oh, by the way, Sergio, that’s you, both beast and prince, because if I know you well, and I’d like to think I do, you were all bark with very little bite. You had moments of tenderness and then regret. A process I’m sure you’re still struggling not to repeat over and over again.”
I squeezed Val’s shoulder as shame washed over me.
“So, the letters. There’s one more for you to read, Val. Phoenix will give it to you, and by then, I think you’ll know what you need to do. Please don’t be mad. This was the only way… the only way I could think of to give you guys a chance.”
