Eagle Elite Volume II, page 49
“For now.” Boris answered quickly. “Licking wounds… his daughter needs his help.”
“Daughter?”
“Maya.” Boris chuckled. “He’s going to kill her.”
“Thank you, Boris.” I slid a knife from my pocket and cut off his zip ties then handed him the same knife. “Thank you for your help.”
“Can I sleep now?”
“Of course, Boris.” I took a step back. “You will never wake up again.”
“Thank you!” Tears streamed down his face. “Oh, thank you.”
Another step back. “Slit your throat.”
Before the men behind me could say anything, Boris ran the edge of the knife across his throat then fell to his death in a pool of blood.
“We could have shot him,” Tex offered.
“I could not allow Russian blood to be on Italian hands.”
Boris’s arteries continued to pump blood through severed veins… I watched, indifferent, the medical side of me taking over as he hiccupped, struggling for one final breath.
Death, in my experience, should always be swift.
With a sigh, I walked over to him, grabbing the knife from the floor and severed the rest of the carotid artery beneath his left ear. The blood pumped more quickly, the gurgling stopped, and he went limp as the last remnants of life left him.,
“Gotta admit,” one of the guys said, I couldn’t tell who without turning around. “Something extremely calculating about knowing exactly what artery to cut. Know any other tricks?”
I turned to find Chase staring at me, a smirk across his face. The man loved new ways of torture, I was surprised he wasn’t kneeling next to me pointing at the bloody mess and asking questions like an eager student.
“Plenty.” I stood, wiping the knife on my slacks, and making a mental note to burn the pants later, no loose ends. “But it would take a lifetime to teach you, and with the way you run your mouth I don’t count on you living very long.”
“He’s got you there.” Nixon snorted out a laugh then pushed away from the wall. “Thanks Nikolai, we owe you.”
“No.” I swallowed the lump of emotion in my throat, not because blood was fresh on my hands, blood was always fresh on my hands, but because I would never be able to repay them for what they did for Andi. “I believe I still owe you.”
“In that case.” Frank pulled out his keys. “You may buy us a case of wine.”
“Always with the wine.” I shook my head.
“Wine to Frank is both a peace offering and a necessity of life. I’d take it.” Chase slapped me on the back.
We shuffled out of the room just as a few men walked in, I imagined they were the Capo’s cleanup crew. They spoke in hushed tones with Tex and Nixon, then gave a wide berth to Phoenix as they made their way past us in the hall.
Clearly, there was still unrest between the families if they weren’t acknowledging Phoenix much. He’d taken over as the Nicolasi boss even though he wasn’t Nicolasi by blood, and blood, to the Italians was everything.
Frank was silent on the way back to Nixon’s. The car turned off, I reached for the handle, but Frank put a hand on my arm. “You’ll speak. At the funeral.”
“I was planning on it.” I was also dreading it.
“This is good.” Frank released my arm. “Thank you.”
“How is he…?” I asked. “Really.”
Frank chuckled. “Offer it all you want… your power of brainwashing, promising to help him forget her. He’ll always say no. Why would he want to forget the lightest part of his existence?”
“Why, indeed.” I pressed my lips together. “But the offer will always stand for him, it is the least I can do… if the pain is too much.”
“The pain will always be too much,” Frank whispered. “Life is full of pain, just like life is full of regret. It is how we react to pain in that very moment, that defines the type of person we will be. When you stop feeling pain… when you stop wanting to? That is when you have lost your humanity. The question then, should not be, should I make myself forget the pain? But, should I go on living, when it no longer makes me want to act?”
His words haunted me long into the evening while we shared a few bottles of wine. It had been ages since I’d allowed myself to lose control and drink more than I knew my body could handle.
But Italians and their loudness had a way of making me feel like family, something I’d never truly had.
I had Jac.
But did she really count anymore?
Blood stained us both.
Blood ruined my entire line.
I half walked, half stumbled to the bedroom Nixon had set aside for me, kicked off my boots, and tugged down my pants, then pulled my shirt over my head. Completely naked, I pulled the sheets back and gulped at Maya’s sleeping form.
I drank her in.
From her toes all the way to her mouth.
And nearly had a heart attack when she opened her eyes and said my name.
“Yes?” I answered.
“You’re naked.”
“You’re in my bed.”
“Was I supposed to be naked too?”
I gritted my teeth. Hell yes. Naked. I could do a lot with her naked, writhing body, I could do so many things, things she would actually remember.
With a soft sigh, she turned on her side, her eyes boldly gazing at my body, I felt her stare, felt the heat of desire building as she licked her lips.
“Maya,” I ground out. “We can’t.”
“Okay.” She reached for me.
I tried to push her away, gently, but I wasn’t controlled in my movements, and she was able to grip my hand and tug me onto the bed.
I straddled her.
I wanted to do so much more than straddle her.
“This feels…”
“Right?” I guessed.
“No.” She frowned. “Familiar.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Listen more, talk less. –Russian Proverb
Maya
“Been dreaming about me, zvezda moya?”
Warmth filled my chest. “My mother used to call me her little star.” It was one of my favorite memories of being a child, one of the rare things I actually did remember before my sixteenth birthday. Memories from before then had been… locked away, or so it seemed. I remembered fragments, my father said it was because of the car accident, apparently the trauma had been too much, and my concussion had caused long term effects.
“Maya,” Nikolai whispered my name between our mouths, linking me to him, making me want nothing more than to kiss him, it wasn’t just familiar, it was right, like he said, it was… as if we fit, we were meant to be.
The fear was still there.
But it wasn’t from him.
It was for us.
And I had no idea why.
“Why are you frowning?” He asked, one hand caressing my face while the other cupped the back of my head, pulling me closer to him.
“You said never to ask questions,” I teased.
His lips twitched. “I deserved that.”
“I don’t know why…” I worried my lower lip as tears pooled in my eyes. “I have no idea why my dad sent me to your offices, or why he would sign my life away… why you would take it. I’m confused more than ever about what we’re really doing with the Italians and why they would swear to protect a hated enemy. There are so many questions that my head is spinning, but I know the answer to one. And if I know the answer to one, then I’m doing okay, right?”
“Absolutely.” He tensed slightly, as if holding his breath. “And what is your answer?”
“You,” I said simply. “It all leads to you. Everything. And I think, for now…” I leaned up, brushing my lips across his. “That’s all that matters.”
“And if I’m the key to both your survival and your destruction, what then?”
“You mean what if your water is poison?” I asked.
He didn’t answer.
“Then I want to drink.”
There were two seconds.
Two brief moments in time.
When I felt my heart race and wondered if it matched his as Nikolai took a steadying breath… then swallowed hard.
One beat against my chest, and his lips were touching mine.
Two beats as my heart picked up speed, and I could feel the heat of his mouth as he slid his tongue across my lower lip.
I moaned in response, reaching around his neck, grasping fistfuls of his hair and tugging as his body moved against mine. Without breaking the kiss, Nikolai found the hem of my cotton T-shirt, lifted it and pulled it over my head, our mouths parting for seconds before, with a sizzle of heat, they met again, and again. Each time our lips grazed it felt new, and yet familiar, like we’d shared hundreds of kisses, thousands of embraces.
He leaned back and helped me to a sitting position, his muscles flexing from holding his own weight. Moonlight shone across the planes of his firm chest. Something about Nikolai’s masculine beauty was lethal, so dangerous that my heart raced even harder. He frowned, pressing his palm to my chest as if trying to calm me down.
I wasn’t safe.
Not in his arms.
But I was where I belonged.
I was complete.
The sensation washed over me with such a rightness that I wanted to cry, like I’d been waiting my entire life for that very moment. Images of us kissing flashed in my mind.
I touched the sides of his face, my hands soaking in the warmth of his cheeks.
“I’ll never be free of you,” Nikolai turned his head, whispering against my open palm, then his head descended as he kissed slowly down my neck, each breath tickled against my skin as his tongue left wet possessive trails down to my collarbone, his lips sucked as his hands moved down to my hips and pulled my shorts free.
He was right about one thing, as his smooth hands trailed down the sensitive skin of my thighs, neither of us would be free of this moment, it was going to bind us together forever.
Nikolai’s breathing increased as his hands cupped my ass, and he pulled my body farther down the bed then braced a hand on either side of me. Holding his weight off me, he continued kissing down my arm, stopping at my fingertips, then sucking each finger, like he wanted to taste every single part of me and wouldn’t be satisfied with just my mouth.
I nearly bucked off the bed when he moved to my hips.
“Sensitive,” he mused, I could feel his smile against my skin as he kept kissing. “I could drink you like this…” His mouth moved to my core. “And like this.” I let out a pitiful moan as tingling sensations spiraled outward from where his mouth caressed me. “Every damn day.”
“Nik—”
With a growl he splayed his hands across my hips forcing my body down when it wanted to go up, to move against him. It was the sweetest torture, and an ache built within me. I squeezed my eyes shut as a warm explosion washed over me.
It felt the same way it had in my dreams.
Only better.
I wanted more of those feelings, more of Nikolai. No, not more. All. I needed all of him.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Police have confirmed that the Pier Killer is not a suspect in the most recent homicide at Pikes Market. –The Seattle Tribune
Nikolai
“Moy,” I whispered against her skin. “Moy.” My body screamed as I branded her with kisses. Mine, mine, mine, she had always been mine.
I’d never wanted her on paper.
Never needed a contract to know who she belonged to.
Her body had always belonged to me, since that very first kiss, that very first touch, when I replaced the pain with the pleasure, when I broke her.
I inwardly cursed as I expunged the memories of a time long ago, she had been the apple in the Garden, dangled in front of me, her core so tempting and sweet. A voice whispered in the distance. Just. One. Bite.
I bit.
I tasted.
I fell.
Maybe that was where I went wrong. The minute I’d seen her, I had desired her, wanted her, and in all my existence, I’d never coveted something as much as I’d coveted her.
It was a sin.
To want someone so desperately that you would sacrifice anything, actual human lives, possibly your own soul, to have it.
I pushed the memories back into the furthest recess of my mind, focusing on nothing but her pleasure, her release, while silently hoping this would not be the catalyst to her unlocking that precious Pandora’s box, I’d helped lock up so long ago.
Her body responded to my every kiss, my every touch… it was addicting to a man like me, a man who rarely showed emotion, someone who starved others of their humanity—discovering he very much wanted his own, one normal moment.
Boy meets girl.
Boy falls in love.
Girl never leaves.
Maya screamed out in pleasure, I kissed the inside of her thigh then climbed my way, slowly up her body, taking pleasure in the way she writhed beneath me, wanting more than anything to bring her to the greatest heights.
“That felt… too good.” She whispered, mouth swollen.
My hardness against her softness was almost too painful to bear. She reached for me, wrapping her hands tightly around me. I hissed out a curse.
“Show me what to do.”
“Your body…” I whispered, moving against her hand. “Will always know what to do.”
“But—”
“Feel.” I instructed as I moved against her then very gently pulled her hands away even though they felt so good. I hesitated, enjoying the look of hate on her face as I teased her, rubbing myself against her, sucking and nipping her lower lip, moving to her breasts.
“Nik…”
I hesitated, she typically reverted to that name only when she was remembering. My entire body tensed.
“I need… more.” She wiggled against me, then hooked her feet behind me.
I slid against her, chuckling into her neck, before I pressed an open-mouthed kiss against her shoulder and inched slowly inside heaven.
Her head fell back against the pillow as I moved.
It wasn’t enough.
It would never be enough.
What the hell was I thinking? One time with her? One moment? Had it been enough all those years ago?
No, it had fed the addiction, the obsession.
And I was adding lighter fluid to dry leaves and tossing a match into the air, praying somehow it wouldn’t start a fire.
Each second that went by, I slid farther inside her, stopping when a look of pure awe slid over her face.
Our mouths met in a frenzy of hot kisses as I moved inside her, setting a fast rhythm, only to slow down as she tightened her grip on my body with her hands.
We were made for one another.
I’d always known it.
And now she did too.
I tried to stop, wanting the feeling of completeness within her to last an eternity, but it was impossible.
With one final thrust, I spent the last of my energy, perhaps the last of my soul… in that moment.
The darkness of our reality descended upon me with a choking reminder that what we’d just shared held the power to destroy everything.
But instead of screaming in horror that she’d just made love with a monster… Maya opened her eyes, as tears streamed down her face she whispered. “Just like my dreams.”
If only she knew…
They were never dreams…
But actual memories.
“I love you,” she whispered. “I’ve always loved you.”
Her eyes closed.
“And now…” I said in a shaky voice. “You may sleep.”
I could allow her that much.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Little thieves are hanged, but great ones escape. —Russian Proverb
Maya
My dreams were filled with Nik… I wasn’t sure why he felt so familiar in them, like I could laugh with him, cry with him, and he would embrace me, wipe my tears away and tell me everything would be okay.
His heat surrounded me, and my gaze sought the clock. It read two a.m., which meant I still had a few more hours in his arms. My heavy lids closed.
“It hurts!” I screamed. “So bad.”
“Did you know…” He sounded apologetic. “That some philosophers believe pain is only another state of consciousness? That we can transcend it, if only we allowed our minds to see past the pain?”
“How?” I clenched my teeth together. “How do I see past the pain?”
“Focus on my voice,” he urged, making another slice across my arm. “I will stop when you stop reacting.”
“But—”
“Please.” He sounded like he was in pain. “Please, just try.”
“Why? You’re the one who can stop everything! You’re the one hurting me!”
“What if I promise you pleasure after the pain… what if I promise you something more?”
My vision blurred as the man in the white mask tilted his head, examining me, studying me.
“I said I’d try.”
“I’ve drawn little blood, Maya.”
“I’ll have scars.”
“Scars help us remember… they also, serve as a way to make us forget… I give you scars on your arms in order to imprint something new… it is impossible for your brain to recall events that never occurred. Therefore, I must cause the occurrence, understand?” Another slice. I screamed. “It will not stick if I do not cause either pleasure or pain.”
“I choose pleasure.”
He chuckled darkly. “They all choose pleasure. And I always choose pain.”
“But…”
“For you…” I could almost imagine his smile behind the mask. “I’ll gift you with both. The pain must happen. Otherwise, we will both be killed. But I can give you pleasure so that when you dream… it’s not of darkness…” He reached for my hand and sucked each finger before kissing my open palm. “But of light.”
I jerked awake with a gasp.
Nikolai was immediately gripping my shoulders, tipping my chin toward him, staring into my eyes like he expected me to turn into a monster or something.
“Sorry.” I gulped as my heart slammed against my chest. “Weird dream…”
“Daughter?”
“Maya.” Boris chuckled. “He’s going to kill her.”
“Thank you, Boris.” I slid a knife from my pocket and cut off his zip ties then handed him the same knife. “Thank you for your help.”
“Can I sleep now?”
“Of course, Boris.” I took a step back. “You will never wake up again.”
“Thank you!” Tears streamed down his face. “Oh, thank you.”
Another step back. “Slit your throat.”
Before the men behind me could say anything, Boris ran the edge of the knife across his throat then fell to his death in a pool of blood.
“We could have shot him,” Tex offered.
“I could not allow Russian blood to be on Italian hands.”
Boris’s arteries continued to pump blood through severed veins… I watched, indifferent, the medical side of me taking over as he hiccupped, struggling for one final breath.
Death, in my experience, should always be swift.
With a sigh, I walked over to him, grabbing the knife from the floor and severed the rest of the carotid artery beneath his left ear. The blood pumped more quickly, the gurgling stopped, and he went limp as the last remnants of life left him.,
“Gotta admit,” one of the guys said, I couldn’t tell who without turning around. “Something extremely calculating about knowing exactly what artery to cut. Know any other tricks?”
I turned to find Chase staring at me, a smirk across his face. The man loved new ways of torture, I was surprised he wasn’t kneeling next to me pointing at the bloody mess and asking questions like an eager student.
“Plenty.” I stood, wiping the knife on my slacks, and making a mental note to burn the pants later, no loose ends. “But it would take a lifetime to teach you, and with the way you run your mouth I don’t count on you living very long.”
“He’s got you there.” Nixon snorted out a laugh then pushed away from the wall. “Thanks Nikolai, we owe you.”
“No.” I swallowed the lump of emotion in my throat, not because blood was fresh on my hands, blood was always fresh on my hands, but because I would never be able to repay them for what they did for Andi. “I believe I still owe you.”
“In that case.” Frank pulled out his keys. “You may buy us a case of wine.”
“Always with the wine.” I shook my head.
“Wine to Frank is both a peace offering and a necessity of life. I’d take it.” Chase slapped me on the back.
We shuffled out of the room just as a few men walked in, I imagined they were the Capo’s cleanup crew. They spoke in hushed tones with Tex and Nixon, then gave a wide berth to Phoenix as they made their way past us in the hall.
Clearly, there was still unrest between the families if they weren’t acknowledging Phoenix much. He’d taken over as the Nicolasi boss even though he wasn’t Nicolasi by blood, and blood, to the Italians was everything.
Frank was silent on the way back to Nixon’s. The car turned off, I reached for the handle, but Frank put a hand on my arm. “You’ll speak. At the funeral.”
“I was planning on it.” I was also dreading it.
“This is good.” Frank released my arm. “Thank you.”
“How is he…?” I asked. “Really.”
Frank chuckled. “Offer it all you want… your power of brainwashing, promising to help him forget her. He’ll always say no. Why would he want to forget the lightest part of his existence?”
“Why, indeed.” I pressed my lips together. “But the offer will always stand for him, it is the least I can do… if the pain is too much.”
“The pain will always be too much,” Frank whispered. “Life is full of pain, just like life is full of regret. It is how we react to pain in that very moment, that defines the type of person we will be. When you stop feeling pain… when you stop wanting to? That is when you have lost your humanity. The question then, should not be, should I make myself forget the pain? But, should I go on living, when it no longer makes me want to act?”
His words haunted me long into the evening while we shared a few bottles of wine. It had been ages since I’d allowed myself to lose control and drink more than I knew my body could handle.
But Italians and their loudness had a way of making me feel like family, something I’d never truly had.
I had Jac.
But did she really count anymore?
Blood stained us both.
Blood ruined my entire line.
I half walked, half stumbled to the bedroom Nixon had set aside for me, kicked off my boots, and tugged down my pants, then pulled my shirt over my head. Completely naked, I pulled the sheets back and gulped at Maya’s sleeping form.
I drank her in.
From her toes all the way to her mouth.
And nearly had a heart attack when she opened her eyes and said my name.
“Yes?” I answered.
“You’re naked.”
“You’re in my bed.”
“Was I supposed to be naked too?”
I gritted my teeth. Hell yes. Naked. I could do a lot with her naked, writhing body, I could do so many things, things she would actually remember.
With a soft sigh, she turned on her side, her eyes boldly gazing at my body, I felt her stare, felt the heat of desire building as she licked her lips.
“Maya,” I ground out. “We can’t.”
“Okay.” She reached for me.
I tried to push her away, gently, but I wasn’t controlled in my movements, and she was able to grip my hand and tug me onto the bed.
I straddled her.
I wanted to do so much more than straddle her.
“This feels…”
“Right?” I guessed.
“No.” She frowned. “Familiar.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Listen more, talk less. –Russian Proverb
Maya
“Been dreaming about me, zvezda moya?”
Warmth filled my chest. “My mother used to call me her little star.” It was one of my favorite memories of being a child, one of the rare things I actually did remember before my sixteenth birthday. Memories from before then had been… locked away, or so it seemed. I remembered fragments, my father said it was because of the car accident, apparently the trauma had been too much, and my concussion had caused long term effects.
“Maya,” Nikolai whispered my name between our mouths, linking me to him, making me want nothing more than to kiss him, it wasn’t just familiar, it was right, like he said, it was… as if we fit, we were meant to be.
The fear was still there.
But it wasn’t from him.
It was for us.
And I had no idea why.
“Why are you frowning?” He asked, one hand caressing my face while the other cupped the back of my head, pulling me closer to him.
“You said never to ask questions,” I teased.
His lips twitched. “I deserved that.”
“I don’t know why…” I worried my lower lip as tears pooled in my eyes. “I have no idea why my dad sent me to your offices, or why he would sign my life away… why you would take it. I’m confused more than ever about what we’re really doing with the Italians and why they would swear to protect a hated enemy. There are so many questions that my head is spinning, but I know the answer to one. And if I know the answer to one, then I’m doing okay, right?”
“Absolutely.” He tensed slightly, as if holding his breath. “And what is your answer?”
“You,” I said simply. “It all leads to you. Everything. And I think, for now…” I leaned up, brushing my lips across his. “That’s all that matters.”
“And if I’m the key to both your survival and your destruction, what then?”
“You mean what if your water is poison?” I asked.
He didn’t answer.
“Then I want to drink.”
There were two seconds.
Two brief moments in time.
When I felt my heart race and wondered if it matched his as Nikolai took a steadying breath… then swallowed hard.
One beat against my chest, and his lips were touching mine.
Two beats as my heart picked up speed, and I could feel the heat of his mouth as he slid his tongue across my lower lip.
I moaned in response, reaching around his neck, grasping fistfuls of his hair and tugging as his body moved against mine. Without breaking the kiss, Nikolai found the hem of my cotton T-shirt, lifted it and pulled it over my head, our mouths parting for seconds before, with a sizzle of heat, they met again, and again. Each time our lips grazed it felt new, and yet familiar, like we’d shared hundreds of kisses, thousands of embraces.
He leaned back and helped me to a sitting position, his muscles flexing from holding his own weight. Moonlight shone across the planes of his firm chest. Something about Nikolai’s masculine beauty was lethal, so dangerous that my heart raced even harder. He frowned, pressing his palm to my chest as if trying to calm me down.
I wasn’t safe.
Not in his arms.
But I was where I belonged.
I was complete.
The sensation washed over me with such a rightness that I wanted to cry, like I’d been waiting my entire life for that very moment. Images of us kissing flashed in my mind.
I touched the sides of his face, my hands soaking in the warmth of his cheeks.
“I’ll never be free of you,” Nikolai turned his head, whispering against my open palm, then his head descended as he kissed slowly down my neck, each breath tickled against my skin as his tongue left wet possessive trails down to my collarbone, his lips sucked as his hands moved down to my hips and pulled my shorts free.
He was right about one thing, as his smooth hands trailed down the sensitive skin of my thighs, neither of us would be free of this moment, it was going to bind us together forever.
Nikolai’s breathing increased as his hands cupped my ass, and he pulled my body farther down the bed then braced a hand on either side of me. Holding his weight off me, he continued kissing down my arm, stopping at my fingertips, then sucking each finger, like he wanted to taste every single part of me and wouldn’t be satisfied with just my mouth.
I nearly bucked off the bed when he moved to my hips.
“Sensitive,” he mused, I could feel his smile against my skin as he kept kissing. “I could drink you like this…” His mouth moved to my core. “And like this.” I let out a pitiful moan as tingling sensations spiraled outward from where his mouth caressed me. “Every damn day.”
“Nik—”
With a growl he splayed his hands across my hips forcing my body down when it wanted to go up, to move against him. It was the sweetest torture, and an ache built within me. I squeezed my eyes shut as a warm explosion washed over me.
It felt the same way it had in my dreams.
Only better.
I wanted more of those feelings, more of Nikolai. No, not more. All. I needed all of him.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Police have confirmed that the Pier Killer is not a suspect in the most recent homicide at Pikes Market. –The Seattle Tribune
Nikolai
“Moy,” I whispered against her skin. “Moy.” My body screamed as I branded her with kisses. Mine, mine, mine, she had always been mine.
I’d never wanted her on paper.
Never needed a contract to know who she belonged to.
Her body had always belonged to me, since that very first kiss, that very first touch, when I replaced the pain with the pleasure, when I broke her.
I inwardly cursed as I expunged the memories of a time long ago, she had been the apple in the Garden, dangled in front of me, her core so tempting and sweet. A voice whispered in the distance. Just. One. Bite.
I bit.
I tasted.
I fell.
Maybe that was where I went wrong. The minute I’d seen her, I had desired her, wanted her, and in all my existence, I’d never coveted something as much as I’d coveted her.
It was a sin.
To want someone so desperately that you would sacrifice anything, actual human lives, possibly your own soul, to have it.
I pushed the memories back into the furthest recess of my mind, focusing on nothing but her pleasure, her release, while silently hoping this would not be the catalyst to her unlocking that precious Pandora’s box, I’d helped lock up so long ago.
Her body responded to my every kiss, my every touch… it was addicting to a man like me, a man who rarely showed emotion, someone who starved others of their humanity—discovering he very much wanted his own, one normal moment.
Boy meets girl.
Boy falls in love.
Girl never leaves.
Maya screamed out in pleasure, I kissed the inside of her thigh then climbed my way, slowly up her body, taking pleasure in the way she writhed beneath me, wanting more than anything to bring her to the greatest heights.
“That felt… too good.” She whispered, mouth swollen.
My hardness against her softness was almost too painful to bear. She reached for me, wrapping her hands tightly around me. I hissed out a curse.
“Show me what to do.”
“Your body…” I whispered, moving against her hand. “Will always know what to do.”
“But—”
“Feel.” I instructed as I moved against her then very gently pulled her hands away even though they felt so good. I hesitated, enjoying the look of hate on her face as I teased her, rubbing myself against her, sucking and nipping her lower lip, moving to her breasts.
“Nik…”
I hesitated, she typically reverted to that name only when she was remembering. My entire body tensed.
“I need… more.” She wiggled against me, then hooked her feet behind me.
I slid against her, chuckling into her neck, before I pressed an open-mouthed kiss against her shoulder and inched slowly inside heaven.
Her head fell back against the pillow as I moved.
It wasn’t enough.
It would never be enough.
What the hell was I thinking? One time with her? One moment? Had it been enough all those years ago?
No, it had fed the addiction, the obsession.
And I was adding lighter fluid to dry leaves and tossing a match into the air, praying somehow it wouldn’t start a fire.
Each second that went by, I slid farther inside her, stopping when a look of pure awe slid over her face.
Our mouths met in a frenzy of hot kisses as I moved inside her, setting a fast rhythm, only to slow down as she tightened her grip on my body with her hands.
We were made for one another.
I’d always known it.
And now she did too.
I tried to stop, wanting the feeling of completeness within her to last an eternity, but it was impossible.
With one final thrust, I spent the last of my energy, perhaps the last of my soul… in that moment.
The darkness of our reality descended upon me with a choking reminder that what we’d just shared held the power to destroy everything.
But instead of screaming in horror that she’d just made love with a monster… Maya opened her eyes, as tears streamed down her face she whispered. “Just like my dreams.”
If only she knew…
They were never dreams…
But actual memories.
“I love you,” she whispered. “I’ve always loved you.”
Her eyes closed.
“And now…” I said in a shaky voice. “You may sleep.”
I could allow her that much.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Little thieves are hanged, but great ones escape. —Russian Proverb
Maya
My dreams were filled with Nik… I wasn’t sure why he felt so familiar in them, like I could laugh with him, cry with him, and he would embrace me, wipe my tears away and tell me everything would be okay.
His heat surrounded me, and my gaze sought the clock. It read two a.m., which meant I still had a few more hours in his arms. My heavy lids closed.
“It hurts!” I screamed. “So bad.”
“Did you know…” He sounded apologetic. “That some philosophers believe pain is only another state of consciousness? That we can transcend it, if only we allowed our minds to see past the pain?”
“How?” I clenched my teeth together. “How do I see past the pain?”
“Focus on my voice,” he urged, making another slice across my arm. “I will stop when you stop reacting.”
“But—”
“Please.” He sounded like he was in pain. “Please, just try.”
“Why? You’re the one who can stop everything! You’re the one hurting me!”
“What if I promise you pleasure after the pain… what if I promise you something more?”
My vision blurred as the man in the white mask tilted his head, examining me, studying me.
“I said I’d try.”
“I’ve drawn little blood, Maya.”
“I’ll have scars.”
“Scars help us remember… they also, serve as a way to make us forget… I give you scars on your arms in order to imprint something new… it is impossible for your brain to recall events that never occurred. Therefore, I must cause the occurrence, understand?” Another slice. I screamed. “It will not stick if I do not cause either pleasure or pain.”
“I choose pleasure.”
He chuckled darkly. “They all choose pleasure. And I always choose pain.”
“But…”
“For you…” I could almost imagine his smile behind the mask. “I’ll gift you with both. The pain must happen. Otherwise, we will both be killed. But I can give you pleasure so that when you dream… it’s not of darkness…” He reached for my hand and sucked each finger before kissing my open palm. “But of light.”
I jerked awake with a gasp.
Nikolai was immediately gripping my shoulders, tipping my chin toward him, staring into my eyes like he expected me to turn into a monster or something.
“Sorry.” I gulped as my heart slammed against my chest. “Weird dream…”
