My Unexpected Christmas Wedding, page 9
And he doesn’t stop.
He delves deeper, his tongue teasing inside, a tender sweep, and I instinctively reach for more. My whimper is as desperate as I feel and I swear he groans in response.
It’s a blur...an electrifying, dizzying blur. His hands turn rough and eager as they travel down my sides, his thumbs hooking into the belt loops of my jeans as he tugs me closer.
I don’t care that this isn’t real, that I’m following his lead in a performance of his choosing. I’m all over it...under it. I’m hot under my clothing, fizzing all over with it...
‘Seriously, you can’t get the staff these days!’
A frigid blast of air sweeps down the hallway along with Avery’s mock outrage.
‘They’re supposed to be fetching the mulled wine!’
I break away, find sanity where there was none, press the back of my hand to my thrumming lips and give a hiccupped, ‘Oops...’
‘I’m sorry,’ Aiden whispers down at me, green eyes ablaze.
Did I put that look there? Was he as lost in it as me? Less act. More intense, mutual desire.
I give the smallest shake of my head, indiscernible to prying eyes but enough to reassure him.
I know why he’s done it. I do. And it’s fine. Honestly.
Even if it has shaken me to my very core.
‘It’s all good,’ I say—only my heart is racing, my body burns. I want him. With every fibre of my being, I want him.
He stares down into my eyes for a second longer and I wonder what he’s thinking. I wonder if his pulse is as off the charts as mine, despite his innocent intentions. Surely something this potent can’t exist in me alone?
‘Gabe...’
He turns away, calm and collected, his grin so very easy, and I have my answer.
‘It’s good to see you.’
I ignore the way my heart sinks, the way my body wants to slide down the wall, and straighten my spine, smooth out my voice.
‘It’s been a long time, Gabe.’
The man himself smiles, but his eyes are as sharp as ever. ‘You haven’t aged a day, Elena.’
Aiden slips his arm around my waist, the move seemingly so natural and electrifying despite my sunken heart. ‘What can I say?’ I manage to smile. ‘It’s all in the genes.’
We close the distance between us and I give him a peck to the cheek.
‘This news has been quite the surprise,’ he says to me before turning to Aiden and the pair give each other a manly back-pounding. ‘Of the good kind, of course.’
‘You know how it is when love catches up with you.’
Aiden sends me a doting look that I can’t bear to connect with, his words taking the remaining wind out of my sails.
‘That I do.’
Gabe tucks Avery back into his side, kisses her hair, and she beams up at him. The intensity of the connection between them is thrumming through the air around us.
‘Shall we go and get your bags unpacked?’ she murmurs, that spark fully alight in her green eyes. ‘We’ll come and join you for wine shortly.’
She doesn’t look at us as she says it, and Gabe’s choice is made for him as she starts dragging him off towards the stairs.
‘But you haven’t got any bags...’ Aiden waves at their empty hands.
‘It’s code, darling. Leave them be.’ Playing my part to perfection, I tug him towards the kitchen and the wine we’re supposed to be tending to. ‘We have mulled wine to heat.’
‘Shouldn’t I at least help by bringing the AWOL baggage in?’
I laugh—or at least I try to. ‘I don’t think Gabe is going to miss it just yet, do you?’
He gives a tight chuckle. ‘I guess not.’
The smack of envy is sudden and unexpected. I don’t want to be envious of what Gabe has found in Avery. And I say it that way around because he’s our age...he’s spent as many years as us alone.
I don’t want to be envious. But I am.
And maybe it’s because the man I want is right next to me. The man I want has just kissed me into oblivion and has no idea of the effect it’s had.
I release him as promptly as he slammed me against that wall, his urgent desire a pretence that felt far too real, and head into the kitchen, set about pouring the prepared wine into the pan that’s waiting on the stove.
‘I like how you’re so at home here,’ he says, resting against the counter and leaving me to it.
‘I am at home. You know how often we were here as kids, right? I learnt to ski here, remember.’
I learnt to ski with him by my side, egging me on or teasing me to distraction, and I loved every second.
‘Aye, those were the days. Life was so much simpler then.’
He’d had his father, for a start...and no responsibilities other than making him proud.
‘We were children. It was as it should be.’
He gives a silent nod. Contemplative.
Then, ‘It’s nice.’
‘What is?’
‘Having you here...having you so at home here.’
I stir the pan more vigorously than it needs.
‘It is,’ he insists. For my benefit or his? I’m not sure. ‘I don’t have to worry about you...whether you’re okay, whether you’re enjoying yourself, whether you have enough company, enough stuff to do.’
I laugh, my body warming with his words. Is he trying to make me feel special...?
‘I think we’ve known each other long enough to just be, Aiden.’
‘To just be... I like that.’
I continue to stir the pan as the steam starts to lift, and he comes up behind me, breathes in the scent of it.
‘It’s been a long time since I could smell that spice and not feel an overwhelming sense of sadness.’
‘I know.’
Not that I know what it’s like to feel the kind of pain he does. I still have my parents. As deeply in love and as doting as ever. And a part of me feels guilty that he has suffered so much loss when I haven’t.
‘It’s thanks to you, though, Laney. You and Avery.’
‘I haven’t done anything.’
He touches a hand to my hip, and the contact is so unexpected that I jump.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.’
‘No, it’s fine. I...’
I just ignite every time you touch me. I shouldn’t, but I do...
‘It’s fine.’
I turn to him and my heart flutters over his proximity, the look in his eye.
‘I’m sorry I kissed you like I did,’ he says.
I shake my head, sweep my hair out of my face—anything to keep busy. ‘You just wanted Gabe to witness how close we are.’
‘I did.’
‘But it’s going to take more than a kiss to convince him... Your mother and sister are blinded by what they want to see. Gabe’s spectacles aren’t so rose-tinted.’
‘No, I know. But thank you.’
‘For what?’
He wets his lips and I don’t want to notice... I don’t want to feel...
‘For going along with it—the kiss, the relationship...all of it.’
‘You’re my best friend. If you can’t do these things for your soul mate, who can you do them for?’
He frowns and I curse my choice of words.
‘Your soul mate?’
Stand by it, Elena. For goodness’ sake.
‘Yes.’
‘I’ve never heard that phrase used in a platonic sense before.’
‘Google it!’
He laughs, low and slow. ‘I will.’
‘And anyway, there’ll come a day when I’ll call it in.’
He cocks one sexy brow. ‘Call it in?’
‘The favour, Adie.’
‘And I’ll do it—whatever it is,’ he says, his eyes as earnest as his voice. ‘I’ll do it.’
My breath catches and my heart begs me to tell him the truth. To ask him for the one thing I know he cannot give.
To make this real.
‘I think it’s ready...’
‘Huh?’
He nods over my shoulder to the wine and I nearly knock the pan off the hob in my eagerness to turn away.
‘Well spotted. You want to fetch the glasses?’
I get myself back under control... I press my lips together and count to three, grateful that he doesn’t seem to notice. Not the rising colour in my cheeks, nor the confession I swear is blazing in my gaze.
Aiden
I take the wine into the living room, grateful for a job to distract me from everyone else.
From Mum, who still hasn’t made it back inside after seeing Terry off, though I know she’s okay as she’s messaged to tell me so. Apparently they’re just catching up...after already being in one another’s company for several hours today. I don’t dare ask.
From my sister and Gabe, who have yet to make it back downstairs. Again, I don’t dare ask.
And from Elena, who has excused herself to go to the bathroom, when I believe there are numerous reasons she doesn’t want to be around me right now, my invasive kiss being right up there as number one. And yet again, I don’t dare ask.
What had I been thinking?
You weren’t thinking, and that’s the problem.
No, my brain had exited the second my lips had touched hers, a primal instinct taking over that I was powerless to stop. I wasn’t kissing her to convince my best friend we’re together. I was kissing her because I wanted her. And that whimper that she gave—man! It pulses through me even now. Making me want, making me crave...convincing me that she wanted it too.
And she can’t possibly.
You don’t go from a lifelong friendship to this.
It’s just some kind of madness.
Utter madness, and the verdict revolves around my brain, failing to land.
Because it didn’t feel like madness. It felt all too real, and normal, and sane, and right. The passion, the love...
But it can’t be.
I must be more unhinged than I thought. More desperate to see Mum okay. More eager to ensure the bubble of our home life is as perfect as it can be.
Because I can’t love Laney. Not in that way. And even if I was falling for her I’m not the right man for her. She deserves so much more than I could ever give. Than I could ever want to give. Because that kind of love...when you lose it, it breaks you. You end up like my mother. Curled in a corner, sobbing away your heart, your life, broken for ever...
And I can’t go there.
I have responsibilities—people to take care of, a company to lead. I have to function. I have to perform...keep a clear head, stay in control.
‘What’s wrong?’
I turn so sharply my head spins. Elena’s in the doorway, her narrowed gaze on my hand, which is gripped around a glass, my knuckles flashing white.
I force a smile. ‘Nothing.’
She walks in slowly, tentatively. Her fluffy hair courtesy of her recently stripped off bobble hat, or my hands—I’m not sure which. Her cosy sweater and jeans are suddenly as sexy as the skimpiest of outfits, and I swallow, try to wrestle with this newfound awareness as she steps ever closer.
‘You could have fooled me.’
I lower my gaze to the glass, ease my grip. ‘You know Mum’s still out?’
‘I guessed she might be. Her and Terry get on well.’
Her words jar me a little. It’s not like I don’t already suspect the potential for something to happen there...but for Laney to think it too?
‘He’s a good guy,’ I say simply.
‘I gather he lost his wife a few years back?’
She pours herself a glass of wine as she asks, her focus on the action rather than me, and I wonder if it’s her way of giving me space. Typical Laney, forever the empath.
‘Yeah.’ I clear my throat, stare out at the frozen lake. ‘A car accident. Far too much pain in so small a neighbourhood.’
‘But something they can understand in one another?’
‘I guess...’ I shake my head as I think about where she’s heading with this, where my thoughts have been heading, too. ‘Though with her illness, Laney, it’s just... I don’t know.’
‘You can’t expect her to put her life on hold completely.’
I choke on a laugh. ‘I think a new relationship should be the last thing on her mind.’
She nods, but says nothing, and for that I’m grateful. I can barely get a handle on my feelings for her, let alone on the thought of my mother starting a new relationship when her own life hangs so tentatively in the balance.
‘Okay, so where’s this mulled wine your sister is raving about?’
Our gazes snap to the doorway, to a smug-looking Gabe. In jeans and a sweater he looks far more relaxed, and that works for me.
‘Ave’s on her way—she’s just popped out to check on your mother.’
‘Great.’
I’m glad one of us is capable of doing so. I pour him a glass as he joins us.
‘Congratulations on your tour, Elena,’ he says. ‘The reviews are exceptional, as always.’
‘Thank you.’
I hand him his glass and lift my own. ‘Here’s to a successful tour and to a Christmas all together. I assume you’re staying, Gabe?’
‘If I’m welcome?’
‘You really need to ask?’
‘I don’t know... I wasn’t expecting you and your wife-to-be and all of this...’ He gestures around us at the decorations. ‘Have to admit, though, it makes a nice change to see you Monroes back in the Christmas spirit.’
Elena doesn’t take her eyes off me. Is she wondering if I’m okay? I don’t want her worrying about me—not when she’s done so much for me, for us, already.
‘I will admit it’s a nice surprise for me too.’
Gabe grins. ‘In that case—to nice surprises.’
We raise our glasses, clink them together and take a sip.
‘Now, that is good.’
‘Mum’s recipe. I’m sure Avery will share if you ask her for it.’
‘I will.’
And then he’s back to studying us intently. So many questions blazing in his blue eyes. Is he hoping we’ll just come out with it if he stays quiet long enough?
‘I’m surprised you haven’t any events to perform at between now and Christmas, Elena,’ he says eventually, breaking the loaded silence. ‘Your schedule seems to have been quite full-on this past year?’
I read between the lines.
Too full-on for you two to have spent any real time together.
‘I’ve had a break in my schedule planned for a while now,’ she says smoothly.
‘Since your recent break-up with that musician...what was his name?’
‘Enrique,’ I supply, and want to cringe at the tightness in my voice. No time in the schedule, a break-up that’s two months fresh...
‘That’s the one. Enrique.’
‘No. My break was on the cards long before we split.’
The message from Elena is clear. No man runs or ruins her schedule. Not for a moment. And I’m so grateful that she has control of this, because I don’t.
‘It’s been a tiring few years, and I’m overdue an extended holiday.’
‘Well, I can’t blame you for spending it here. It’s the perfect place for Christmas.’
‘As perfect as the man I choose to spend it with.’
She hooks her arm in mine, smiles at me adoringly, and I feel my own lips curve of their own volition.
‘What can I say?’ I murmur. ‘The timing’s perfect all round.’
‘Perfectly convenient.’
Gabe sips at his wine, his other hand buried in the pocket of his jeans and my fraying nerves reach breaking point.
We can’t carry on like this. I need to have it out with him, but now isn’t the time. Not in front of Elena, and not when my hackles are already up, my feelings for her so deeply confused.
‘Tell you what—why don’t I give Avery a hand while you men catch up, man to man?’ says Elena.
‘Hang on, Laney.’ I step forward, but she’s already placing her drink down.
‘It’s fine.’ She walks off, waving a hand. ‘You guys have much to discuss.’
‘She’s not wrong,’ Gabe says into his glass.
‘As annoying as it is for me to admit it, in my experience women rarely are.’
He chuckles. ‘Now, that’s a point we can debate until the cows come home.’
‘I’m up for that...’ I turn to face him. ‘If it’ll save me from the conversation you have brewing.’
‘No such joy, my friend. No such joy.’
I knock back my wine and almost choke on a stray clove. ‘I didn’t think so.’
Elena
I gulp down the cold air, wishing it could chill the heat inside me.
Did I call it right? Leaving them to address the elephant in the room?
I don’t know. But I couldn’t stay there any longer.
Gabe knows. I’m sure of it. Which means he also knows that kiss was all an act. On Aiden’s part, at least. But mine? Does he know how I feel? Is he in there right now, telling Aiden my deepest, darkest secret?
God, no. I hope not. Just because he’s finally in touch with his own emotions, owning his love for Avery, it doesn’t mean he’s capable of seeing the same in me. Does it?
I blame a drunken conversation we had many years ago. One that I’d hoped he would’ve forgotten in the haze of the night. I’d been young, foolish, my hope to be a world-renowned opera singer still a pipe dream, and I’d been drowning my sorrows after my latest stage rejection in cheap cider and karaoke. My unrequited love for Aiden had spilled from my lips as steady and strained as the lyrics to ‘All by Myself’ and this feels just as humiliating.
At least back then it could be dismissed as a foolish crush. But now...?
