My Unexpected Christmas Wedding, page 2
I swallow, but there’s nothing to take down. ‘No?’
‘No.’ He leans forward in his seat, brings himself that bit closer. ‘I have something to ask of you.’
I force myself to hold his gaze, wishing my heart wouldn’t pulse every time he looks at me. After thirty-five years I should be used to it. Or maybe that’s the problem. It’s been thirty-five years in the making. Feeling this way. And never has it been more concentrated than in the last few—ever since I was forced to accept my love for a man who refuses to ever be touched by the emotion.
‘Anything,’ I murmur. ‘You know that.’
His mouth quirks to one side, stretching out its fullness, enhancing the dimple to one cheek that peeks through the stubble.
‘You say that now...’
My heart races that bit faster. ‘To use the age-old adage...if you don’t ask, you don’t get.’
‘Perfectly put...’
And still he asks nothing.
‘Adie, unless you plan on finding me a replacement for tomorrow night’s performance, I suggest you—’
‘Marry me, Elena?’
Aiden
I’ve done it. I’ve said it. I’ve asked her.
Now to explain. Only I can’t seem to find the words. Probably because this is a crazy idea. I know it is, and yet it makes sense.
In black and white, it’s the perfect solution to my current problem, and she’s the only one I trust with it. The only one who will understand what I’m offering and what I’m most definitely not—a real relationship, a real marriage, romantic love.
She blinks across the table at me. Her rich brown eyes wide and confused. ‘What did you just say?’
I interlock my fingers on the table. ‘Just hear me out...’
‘I swear you just asked me to...’
‘Marry me, yes.’
She shakes her head, wrestling with her thoughts as the bartender appears with my drink. He sets it down and she waves an unsteady finger at it.
‘What on earth is in that drink? Because I really don’t think you need another.’
‘Thank you,’ I say to the bartender who nods and takes the empty glass away. I barely give a second’s thought to what he makes of her remark, grateful that he wasn’t within listening distance when I reaffirmed my hash of a proposal.
What had I been thinking? To blurt it out like that? I’d intended to lead up to it, deliver a gentle opening...
‘I know how it sounds, but—’
‘Do you? Because you’ve just told me Avery and Gabe are together, which is crazy enough. Now you want me to marry you. Just what are you playing at, Aiden?’
‘I know what you’re thinking.’
‘I doubt that very much.’
I lean back, drag a hand down my face and take a breath. Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea after all. But then I think of Mum. Think of the worry on her face. And resolve runs through me, solidifying my stature, adding strength to my voice.
‘This has nothing to do with Gabe and my sister. I’m not trying to outdo them, or any such nonsense.’
‘The thought hadn’t occurred to me, but now you mention it...’
‘Love isn’t catching. I can promise you that.’
Her lashes flicker, the solitary lit candle between us playing in her eyes, turning their brown depths molten with gold and hypnotic with it...
God, I’ve missed her eyes, her smile, her laugh...it’s been too long.
And the realisation stirs something deep within me. Something I don’t want to examine.
‘So, what is this about?’ she asks.
I clear my throat, shake off the confusing haze with it.
‘It’s about Mum.’ I say it like it’s all the explanation she needs.
‘What’s Margot got to do with...?’ Her voice trails away as her brows lift, her eyes lightening with realisation. They really are quite captivating.
And you really are losing the plot.
‘I don’t believe this. She wants you married, and you want to give her that in case—in case she... Aiden, come on. You can’t be serious.’
‘Deadly.’
‘Not the—’
‘Wisest choice of words? No. But the truth. It’s been on her mind for a long time and she’s made sure everyone knows it. Even the household staff are aware of her desire to see me married off, settled... You should see the looks I’m getting. Every unattached female now fancies themselves a candidate, thanks to her oversharing.’
‘A candidate?’
‘Perfect wife material.’
She laughs, her chuckle soft and disbelieving as she shakes her head and lifts her drink to her lips, takes a sip. And another. She opens her mouth but it’s more choked laughter that she gives.
‘It really isn’t funny.’
But my voice is distant, distracted, my eyes inexplicably drawn to the trace of pink gloss she leaves against the glass edge. The shape of her mouth, feminine and soft and full of appeal.
Is this what happens when I don’t see her in too long? The lines of friendship blur, and my awareness of her as a woman gets dialled up by a thousand...?
I’ve always thought her attractive, her beauty is impossible to ignore. But she’s still Laney. My best friend Laney. And the way I’m reacting is so far from okay... Hell, she’s practically family.
‘Aiden?’
‘Yes.’ I snap to attention, blame my crazy proposal for my even crazier reaction.
‘Where did you go?’
‘I’m right here.’
‘Physically, yes. But your head was long gone.’
‘It was?’ It really was. ‘What did I miss?’
‘All this talk of candidates and wife material...it sounds like it’s not just your mother who’s been thinking about this for a while.’
‘How can I not? Especially now she’s so ill. Before, it was simply a case of her passing comment on my lack of passion for anything but work. Then she got her diagnosis, and when she should have been focusing on her health, and getting better, she became obsessed with the idea of leaving me behind with, to use her words, “no one to lean on”.’
‘You have Avery.’
‘I know that. She knows that. But it’s not the same and she’s made sure I know that too.’
‘So she’s badgering you into getting married?’
‘Badgering, dropping not-so-subtle hints, deploying emotional blackmail—they’re all one and the same, right?’
She shakes her head, looks at me like I’ve lost mine—not that I can blame her.
‘Since when do you do something because someone else expects it of you...? Actually, don’t answer that.’
Because we both know the answer. It happened the day my dad died and left me in charge. My whole life became about the expectations and demands of others.
‘But this is marriage, Aiden. You can’t marry a random woman just to make your mother happy.’
‘I’m not talking about marrying someone random, I’m talking about marrying you. Think about it, Elena. When we were growing up our mothers joked about it, but at the heart of that joke was a real hope that one day it would happen. And my mother isn’t stupid. If I came home with just anyone, she’d know it was a ruse, a fake engagement to keep her happy. But if I come home with you... Well, then it’s her dream come true and she won’t question it. She’ll take our word as gospel.’
‘Our word?’ she repeats quietly. ‘And what word is that?’
‘That we’re in love.’
The ice clinks inside her glass and she sets it down. The tremor in her hand too obvious to miss as I push on, desperate to convince her, desperate to ignore the weird sense of chaos within too.
‘That we’ve been in love for a long time but we didn’t want to tell anyone until we knew it was a dead cert.’
She shudders. ‘Will you quit it with the dead word?’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘I do, but I still don’t understand why you would do this.’
‘Because I can’t bear it, Laney. Dad died, and a part of her died with him. She’s never been the same. And now she’s sick, and I don’t know how long she has left, but I’d like to know that I did what I could to bring her some joy once more. Joy and peace and everything in between.’
‘Isn’t it enough to see her daughter settled?’
The inner chaos morphs into an ache, resonating deep within my chest. ‘You’d think so. After everything Avery went through...after everything we went through with her. But no. It’s not enough.’
She frowns, her eyes raking over my face as she seeks out something in mine.
‘She’s scared that without a woman you’ll work yourself into an early grave...’
I flinch. Her supposition is so on target. And she knows it too—thinks the same, even. The way she states it as fact rather than a question.
‘And you think the same?’
Her silence is answer enough.
‘My mother saw the inherent workaholic in my father and spent their life together trying to ensure he found balance. Trying and failing. So I can understand why she would think it of me. But you?’
‘Come on, Adie, ever since your dad passed away work has become your life—you know that. Everyone knows that.’
‘Because I care what happens to the company.’
‘Of course you do. It’s your father’s legacy.’
‘And I won’t fail him.’ It erupts in a rush, my hand balling into a fist.
‘You could never fail him.’
I scoff. ‘Were you not there when I was a kid? An adult, even? You saw the pressure...the need to excel. It wasn’t enough to pass, to just be good enough. I had to do better, be the best.’
‘And you did. Look at you, Adie. Look at Monroe Wealth Management. You’re at the top of your game.’
‘And I’ll make sure I stay that way.’
‘But to what detriment?’
I force my hand to relax. ‘You don’t understand.’
‘Of course I understand. I was there. I understood the pressure. I also understood that you were loved. And your father wouldn’t want you to sacrifice your life for his work.’
‘It’s my work too.’
‘Because it was forced upon you. You forget I remember those days when you used to dream of doing something else—anything else, almost. Are you saying you don’t have those thoughts any more? That Monroe Wealth makes you feel happy and fulfilled?’
‘It’s not a question of happiness. It’s a question of looking after my father’s legacy—my family’s too. It’s about keeping the future secure for the hundreds and thousands of employees who work for me.’
‘You have people you can trust to continue that work and free you to pursue other interests. Take Gabe’s new business. You could step in there...do something with your best friend. Or those charities you support—just think what they could achieve with you dedicating your time and expertise to a cause that you truly care about.’
Her words tease at the fringes of my mind, at age-old dreams long ago forgotten as the necessities of life took over. As grief for my father became an overwhelming need to do right by him. To prove my worth and ensure he didn’t die in vain. To never fail him.
‘Monroe Wealth is my responsibility.’
‘But it doesn’t need all of you, Adie. It will always be a part of you, but you can choose to have more in life. You just need to open your mind to it...and your heart.’
I stare back at her, ignore the flicker of light that comes alive inside me as I try to find the words to deny it, to deny her.
‘Look what happened with your father,’ she says. ‘He was far too young to—’
‘He had an undiagnosed heart condition,’ I cut in, aggressive, defensive.
‘Exacerbated by his lifestyle. His work.’
‘There’s nothing to say the same will happen to me.’
‘You can’t know that.’
‘I’ve had a thorough work-up. Believe me, if there was a risk I’d know about it.’
‘You’re missing the point.’
‘I’m not missing the point. I’m addressing it head-on.’
‘Is this really how you want to spend the rest of your life, Adie?’ She looks sad, sad and concerned, and it skitters over my skin. ‘Working all hours to—’
‘I’m not working all hours—not now Mum is sick. I’ve been home more. I’ve had to be.’
‘But when she’s gone? Who will give your life balance then? Avery has Gabe. Who will you have?’
The conversation has come full circle. ‘You think her concern is valid?’
‘I think her concern is valid, yes, but I don’t think you getting married is the answer.’
‘How so?’
‘I’m sorry, Adie, but I don’t think there’s a woman out there capable of making you change. That has to come from you.’
‘At least on that we agree.’
‘No one could change your father...not your mother and not you.’
She says it softly, so full of meaning, and I know it’s because she sees it. My own guilt. My own failing.
‘It wasn’t your fault your father wouldn’t stop. You tried...’
I shrug, but it’s awkward, stilted. I did try. On all those father-and-son trips when he was supposed to be getting some R&R—Mum’s orders. And yet he’d still have his phone to his ear, his laptop within reach. All those weekends where he’d skirt around the edge of the pitch, one eye on my game and the other firmly on his phone. I performed for him, eager to distract him, rarely succeeding. He was proud of me, and he loved me, and my sister, my mum...just not enough to give work a rest, take the rest his body needed.
‘It doesn’t matter now, anyway. I can’t change the past.’
‘No, but you can change the future. Your future.’
‘This my life, Laney. Whether I like it or not, I choose to live it this way.’
Her gaze is intense, her rich brown depths questioning and assessing, filled with doubt and disappointment too. Not that I’ll react to it.
‘So why do this, then?’ she says. ‘If this is really how you want to live, why are you bending your life rules with this crazy proposition?’
‘Because my mother doesn’t agree. She sees marriage as the answer and that’s all that matters.’
‘Is it?’
She wets her lips, crosses her legs. Her knee brushes against mine beneath the table and I have the strangest urge to maintain the contact. I cover the echo of her touch with my hand, dismiss the thought as quickly as it occurs.
‘Yes. I’m not seriously contemplating marriage because I think she’s right. I don’t need another person to feel responsible for, to depend on me.’ I wince. ‘No offence, Laney.’
‘None taken.’
Because she gets it. She gets me. And that’s why it has to be her.
‘I’m proposing a front—a pretend relationship to quit her worrying over me so she can focus on what she should—getting better. And if she doesn’t...if I’m to lose her...then at least she’ll leave this world thinking I’m okay.’
Elena stares back at me and I take up my drink, give her time to mull it over.
‘You really want me to be your fake wife?’
‘No, a fake fiancée will suffice.’
‘Suffice?’ she chokes out. ‘Have you heard yourself?’
I grimace. ‘Sadly, yes. And I know how it sounds—I do.’
‘And what if she survives, Aiden? Have you thought about how we manage that?’
I swallow, feel the blood inch from my face. ‘The chances are slim...’
She touches a hand to her mouth as the tears make a return.
‘Life is so unfair...’ She waves a hand at me as I try to apologise, hating that I’ve put her in this position, but hating the situation that led us here more. ‘Not you. I don’t mean you and this. I mean your mum. I mean her illness. To have gone through all she has and now this.’
‘It’s why I want your help, Laney. To make the best of an awful situation. You know I wouldn’t ask if there was any other way. And you’re the only person I can ask...the only person I can imagine by my side.’
‘I...’
My heart flutters up inside my chest, my head lifts...
‘I don’t know.’
The slump is real—the disappointment, the desperation. ‘Think about it, Laney. It’s not like it doesn’t help you too. After what happened with Enrique—’
She reacts as though I’ve slapped her, and I bite my cheek, curse the low blow I’ve delivered. Does the man still have the power to hurt her so much?
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t want to mention him.’
‘But you did anyway?’
‘You know it makes sense. It’ll get the press off your back, stop them pitying you and speculating over your feelings now that he’s with—’
‘I couldn’t care less what they say, and I’m happy that he’s happy.’
‘Are you?’ I don’t believe her—not for a second. ‘Because you don’t look it, and I’m sure your mother worries over every printed word.’
‘Is that going to be your constant defence when it comes to this crazy idea? Our mothers?’
‘It really isn’t so crazy—not when you give it proper thought.’
‘We’d be lying to the world, Aiden.’
‘But not to each other.’
‘And you think that makes it okay?’
‘You’re one of the few people in this world I care about, Elena. Lying to you is an impossibility.’
‘But lying to our mothers, your sister, Gabe?’
‘The latter are too loved up to care and the former will be too ecstatic.’
‘And when we expose it for what it is?’
‘We won’t. We’ll simply part amicably. Like any normal couple.’
