Summer of Hush, page 7
There was the problem. They’d be on the road together the next couple of months, but who knew if they’d be able to spend time together like this? Alone? Their paths would likely cross again, but he was here now. Something about that made him feel brave.
“Then I hope you don’t mind if I do this.”
Krish leaned over and pressed a tentative kiss to Silas’s lips. When he pulled back, he found a blissful smile on Silas’s lips.
“I’ll only mind if you don’t do it again.”
Krish leaned down again and placed his left hand onto the couch next to Silas’s thigh to brace himself. He couldn’t believe he was actually here, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him. This time when he kissed Silas, there was nothing tentative about it. He dragged his lips against Silas’s like he’d imagined on nights alone in his room, dreaming he’d meet him in person someday. He let himself try all the moves, taking the chance that he was doing it right, praying that he was doing it right.
Silas groaned as they came up for air. “You are a really fucking good kisser.”
Krish smiled against Silas’s lips and went in again, this time letting his tongue explore Silas’s lips insistently enough that Silas opened for him. As Krish’s tongue brushed Silas’s and he felt the silver ball, Krish shuddered. He lost all composure and kissed Silas so deeply that he pressed him back into the couch. Silas slid his hand under Krish’s shirt and up his back, his nails scoring Krish’s skin, causing him to groan.
“I don’t know how long we have until they come back,” Silas whispered as he moved his kisses lower, to Krish’s jaw and then his neck. “But I don’t want you to go.”
Krish’s head was spinning. God, the feel of that ball as Silas licked up the column of his throat. “I don’t want to stop kissing you,” Krish admitted. The alien in his belly had settled, but his pulse was racing. He thought he might never take a deep breath again, and he didn’t much care. He placed his hands on either side of Silas’s head and brought his lips away from his neck and back to his mouth.
Don’t let this end. I want to kiss you forever.
“Really fucking good kisser,” Silas breathed. Then he dove back in and teased Krish relentlessly with his tongue and the piercing that had Krish so turned on he couldn’t breathe.
The bus doors opened and loud partygoers burst into the front of the bus. Silas had opened the bathroom door enough that they couldn’t see directly into the back, which gave them a moment to sit up and at least pretend they were still trying to defeat Jason.
“You guys decent back there?” a female voice asked.
“Yes, boss lady,” Silas called out, giggling.
“Barely,” Krish whispered. “Another few seconds and I would have had you out of those pants.”
Silas laughed and ran a hand over the bulge in Krish’s pants. “I would have had you stripped first.”
Krish put a hand over Silas’s and pressed it against himself. His eyes rolled back in his head and he groaned.
“Why don’t we have more time?” Silas sat up, his green eyes wide. “Ride with us. Up to Mountain View. Please? Stay with me? I’m not done playing with you.”
Krish laughed and sat back. He ran his hands through his hair and finally took a deep breath. “Stay? On the bus? But you need to sleep. You have to play tomorrow.”
“And I will. With you. Right here.” Silas grabbed Krish’s hands, and his smile took on that crazy look that made Krish whimper and want to say yes to anything. “Do you have to go?”
“I don’t know. I should probably check on Jake—”
The door closed to the bathroom and retching sounds could be heard through the thin walls.
“Jake is wasted,” Jordan said, leaning against the doorjamb. “I win. I told him he’d get sick first. Dude, he’s gonna need to stay here tonight. I had Theo drive his car out to the street where it won’t get fucking towed. As soon as he’s back, we’re taking off.” Jordan looked at their hands intertwined and laughed. “I’m giving him your bunk, since it looks like you won’t need it.”
“If he pukes, you’re cleaning it and doing all the laundry,” Silas said with a laugh. He turned back to Krish and squeezed his hand. “Darn it. I guess you’re stuck back here in the lounge with me.” Then his smile slipped. “Unless you have someone…?”
“Yeah. I do, but I can text her.”
Silas let go of his hand and moved to get up. “Her?”
“You should see your face right now,” Krish said, laughing. “Yeah, ‘her.’ My mom. I told her I would text her tonight.” Still feeling brave, he grabbed Silas by the waist and guided him back down onto his lap. “I live with my mom. At twenty-five. I know that’s hot, but there’re reasons.”
Silas linked his arms around Krish’s neck. “It’s sexy as fuck. Guys who are good to their moms are fucking hot.” He bent down and captured Krish’s lips again, sucking the bottom one into his mouth and flicking the ball against it. “Last chance. I can walk you back to your bus.”
“I want to spend the night with you.” Krish gazed up into Silas’s eyes and loved the emotions he saw there—joy, arousal, excitement. He never expected Silas to be attracted to him. He wasn’t sure what to expect when he came back to the bus. Did Silas just want to hook up and send Krish on his way? Did he just want someone to blow off some steam with on the gaming console? Or was it possible he felt like Krish did? Like maybe, just maybe, he was looking for a real connection?
“Good. I’ll be right back.”
Silas disentangled himself from Krish’s lap and went up front, leaving Krish a moment to try to catch his breath. He pulled out his phone and sent a text to his mom.
Day One was great. We’re staying on the bus with Jake’s brother’s band. With Hush. We go to Mountain View in the Bay Area tomorrow. I’ll have my phone on me. Love you.
It was after eleven, but she texted back.
Oh Lord, be safe on those buses, Krishnan Guruvayoor! Use a condom and wear a seat belt. You know I’m afraid of those horrible bus crashes! You better come back to me in one piece. Say hello to Jake for me. XOXO
Krish snorted a laugh and shook his head.
Thanks, Mom.
Krish’s phone buzzed.
We’re heading out. Are you lost?
Chantal. Shit. He hadn’t even thought someone might be looking for him.
Not lost. Sorry. I should have checked in. I’m on the bus with Hush. My friend’s brother is Jordan Barrett, and they invited us to stay.
What else was he supposed to say? Was he breaking some rule? Had he fucked up already?
No problem. We just always check in so no one gets left behind. Have fun. Vinh said don’t let Silas beat you at Mortal Kombat.
Krish’s smile dropped. Why would Vinh have said that? Of all the games, Mortal Kombat? What if—
“You texting your mom?”
Krish started to answer Silas, but he froze.
Silas had changed into a pair of black pajama pants with rainbow unicorns on them, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. He wasn’t wearing anything underneath the pants either. They rode low on his hips and accentuated his V. He was hairless, his nipples were pierced, and he was incredibly well-toned. Krish had seen pictures of Silas shirtless before and knew the entire front of his torso was covered in colorful tattoos—skulls, horror creatures, anatomically correct hearts, black cats, classic muscle cars. They all flowed together to create a living mural that Krish could spend forever admiring.
Krish’s jaw hung open in awe.
Silas had a toothbrush in his mouth and a wicked grin on his face.
“Everything okay?” Silas asked, chuckling. He ran a hand over his flat stomach and hooked his thumb over the waistband of his pants. Just that gesture alone made Krish’s mouth water.
“Yeah, um, you—”
“I have an extra toothbrush, but I think my extra lounge pants will be too short for you.”
“That’s okay. Um, shouldn’t you sleep in your bunk, though? I mean, you have to perform tomorrow. You need your rest.”
Silas turned and went into the bathroom to spit into the sink. Krish heard him gargle, and then the water came on. He came back into the room and handed Krish a toothbrush. “I’ll be fine. You’ll be my pillow.”
Krish took the toothbrush from him and stood. Silas was so close to him he could smell his minty-fresh mouth and feel his breath on his face.
“Hurry up.” Silas went back out front while Krish used the bathroom. He was so hard it took him several minutes to talk himself down. He felt like an idiot taking such a long time.
But then the creature in his gut started churning again. What are you doing, Krish? How can you spend the night with him when he doesn’t know who you are for real? He felt like he was being dishonest. But how was he supposed to know he was going to get invited onto the bus? By Silas? That he would be kissing Silas freakin’ Franklin?
Krish’s knees wobbled a little, and he steadied himself on the sink. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he chuckled. His lips were swollen from their impromptu makeout session. Silas’s face had been red from Krish’s beard, and that made Krish’s grin a little bigger.
Chances are Silas didn’t even read the Guru’s blog, right? He had much better things to do with his time. Yeah. And this was probably the one and only time Krish would get to live the dream, so carpe diem?
That thought sobered him. He needed to remember who he was, who he was with, and that he couldn’t afford to do anything that would mess up his opportunity at Warped Tour. He sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. I hope you know what you’re doing, Krish.
When he came back out, Silas had set out pillows and blankets for them on the couch in the back. The narrow couch.
“Uh, do these, like, pull out into a bed?”
Silas laughed. “I tried. If they do, I can’t figure it out. I don’t have a degree in engineering, nor am I brainy like Billy.”
“Yeah, and I don’t think a music major will be much help.”
“Music, huh? You play?”
Silas lay down on his side with his back against the cushions. He rested his head in the palm of his hand and patted the narrow spot next to him. And didn’t that spot look like the best damn place to be?
“Yeah.”
Should he take off his shirt?
Should he take off more?
Krish certainly wasn’t a blushing virgin or anything, but he had a feeling his experience was probably virginal compared to Silas’s.
“Come lie down, Krish. I don’t fuck on tour, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I’m not worried.” But he didn’t sound very confident.
“Good. Then come here.”
“Good. Sure.”
Krish pulled his shirt off from the back collar and laid it on the opposite couch. He wasn’t exactly embarrassed about his body, but it was nothing compared to the beauty that was Silas. Krish was… nondescript—a little on the thin side but not skinny. He wasn’t weak, but he didn’t lift weights or anything, so he didn’t have that toned look that a lot of men preferred in their partners. And he was fairly hairy. He’d tried waxing once, but it was a miserable experience he never cared to repeat. At least he had it where hair was expected to be—his chest, stomach, and lower arms and legs. His cargo shorts were a little large on him, so he’d worn a belt, which he slipped off and set down with his shirt. He might be facing an uncomfortable night’s sleep, but it would be miserable with a belt on. The top of his Calvin Klein briefs showed over his shorts without the belt, but by the look on Silas’s face, he didn’t mind one bit.
“You don’t fuck on tour,” Krish repeated as he lay down facing Silas. He kept some space between them, afraid of what would happen if he pressed up against all that gorgeous colorful skin.
“No. Fool around, yes. But no fucking on tour. For many reasons.”
“I can understand that. For many reasons. You have to be careful.”
“And not just the physical ones. For me, fucking comes with a whole other level of intimacy that I’m not willing to give away to someone I might only spend one night with. Does that make sense? I don’t know. It might sound weird—”
“It makes perfect sense. That level of intimacy also makes people expect certain things too, right? And not to mention the ones who want the attention and want to spread stories.”
“Exactly.” Silas frowned. “Hey…. This is cool, right? Like, do I need to worry about this? I don’t need any hassle.”
Krish swallowed hard. “Yeah. Look. I know you just met me, but I’m not… I don’t…. That’s not what’s going on here.”
Silas visibly relaxed, which made Krish feel both relieved and irritated. Had someone done that to him before? Slept with him and then told everyone about it? Gone to the media? Did he make a habit of sleeping with reporters? Did it matter?
“I’m sorry. I just need to ask. Gavin never seemed to mind what was printed about him. I think that’s why he used to get shit from people—the hate mail, more than anything. Discretion was never his strong suit, and he had a few messy situations go public. I never judged him or anything. I just think he made his life more complicated than it needed to be sometimes.”
Silas rested his head on the pillow and closed his eyes, finally looking tired. He must have had a long couple of days. Krish slid down a bit and rested his head on the pillow next to Silas, using his right hand to drag his nails across Silas’s stubble, still wondering if he had the right to touch him. Silas moaned happily, snuggled a little closer, and threw an arm over Krish’s side. Guess that was his answer.
“How are you holding up without him?” Krish asked quietly. He didn’t know if it was his place to ask, but Silas seemed comfortable enough with him that he figured it was a safe question.
“I have my moments. Jordan’s been awesome. It’s different, but once we got onstage for the first show, I knew we were going to be okay.” He slid his hand farther up Krish’s spine and goose bumps followed in the wake. “I miss him.”
“I can imagine. It’s not just your friend and companion but your creative partner that you lost. That leaves a much larger hole.”
Silas smirked but didn’t open his eyes. “You sound like the Guru.”
Krish stopped his hand briefly and prayed Silas didn’t notice him freeze.
“The Guru? How?”
“Just sounds like something he’d say. You ever read his blog?”
Krish swallowed hard, grateful Silas’s eyes were closed, because he knew his expression would give him away. “Yeah, sometimes.” Fuck. Now you’re a liar, Krish. And this confirmed that Silas had read his blog.
“He wrote the most beautiful piece about Gavin after he died. I’d been really pissed at Gavin, but after reading the Guru’s eulogy, I couldn’t be mad anymore. It led to reaching that last step in those five stages of grief, you know?”
“I do,” Krish whispered. He couldn’t pull away, didn’t want to. Silas had been through hell. He’d lost his best friend. Krish knew that pain intimately. Instead of coming clean, however, he slid his left arm under Silas’s head and pulled him closer. Their chests brushed together, and Silas sighed.
“I’m a cuddler, just in case you were wondering,” Silas slurred, his cheek smushed against Krish’s shoulder. It was astounding how he’d gone from the psycho showman, to the flirty sex god, to a cuddle buddy in the space of a few hours.
“I am pleased by this development.” So much so Krish couldn’t stop smiling. His cheeks were getting sore.
Silas’s breathing grew deeper, and Krish was amazed the guy could sleep in such a cramped position. But then he’d probably spent countless nights in a tour-bus bunk, and those were pretty small.
Krish turned a little more onto his back. Silas came with and sprawled on top of him. Krish smiled blissfully and wrapped both arms around his cuddle buddy. He wondered what the morning would bring. He’d let his eyes drift closed and was nearing sleep when the voices outside their pocket door got louder.
The door slid open with a quiet hush. Jordan and Jake and Los all stuck their heads in, eyes wide. Krish blinked. After a moment, they burst out laughing and then shushed each other when Silas stirred. He shot an arm out behind him and flipped them off.
“Fuck off, you guys. Go to sleep.” His cheek was stuck to Krish’s chest and his words came out in a higher pitch than his usual voice. He lifted his head and smoothed Krish’s chest hair down. “Tickles,” he mumbled. Then he placed a kiss on Krish’s chest and lay back down with a loud sigh.
“You need anything?” Jordan asked.
Krish shook his head. “Thanks.”
Jake blew him a kiss and then hiccupped as Jordan dragged him out of the room.
Los frowned as he closed the door. Whether it was at the drunkard’s behavior or Krish cuddled up with his bandmate, he wasn’t sure.
Krish looked down at Silas’s body intertwined with his and felt as though he were holding a valuable piece of art—fragile, priceless, and vulnerable yet strong. Silas was fierce and capable of completely turning Krish’s world upside down. Cuddling was almost more intense than kissing Silas. It implied a level of trust Krish was shocked someone like Silas had to have in order to sleep so soundly.
Silas stirred and a little snore escaped.
Adorable.
And sexy.
And so far out of Krish’s realm of comprehension…. Why had Silas chosen him? And why hadn’t he just come clean? Perhaps it would have been fine, they would have shared some laughs and stories. But now he had a secret on top of a secret, and the person he admired so much would likely be hurt at his omission of the truth.
How was it possible that the best thing ever to happen to you was also the worst thing you’ve ever done?
DESPITE BEING unable to stretch out, Krish slept surprisingly well, at least once he’d stopped beating himself up. He’d deal with the consequences of his actions in the morning. He woke up a few times when the bus hit some vicious potholes and once when they came to a stop, probably at a rest area on I-5, but each time he smiled at Silas still stretched out on top of him. Around six in the morning, Silas groaned. Krish tried to give him some room to move, and when Silas rolled onto his back, Krish sucked in a breath.
