Summer of Hush, page 4
Krish exhaled and shook his head. “Yeah. Wow. Crazy. But the woman who showed me the bus was cool, and I’ll be staying with people who are there working, so hopefully….”
Yeah, he was going to be fine. He’d just have to keep telling himself that.
“Come on, let’s go get some food,” Jake said. “The gates are opening in a few minutes, and I’m already starving. I wonder what type of vegetarian items they’ll have?”
Krish rolled his eyes at Jake. “Come on, man. I need some protein or I’m going to keel over.”
Jake couldn’t accept the fact that Krish wasn’t a vegetarian. Jake had been a stalwart PETA supporter all through college and continued to be that one friend who constantly lectured his friends on their lifestyle choices. Luckily, he had enough redeeming qualities to make up for it.
They ended up with rice bowls from a food truck—Krish’s with teriyaki chicken and Jake’s with tofu and veggies. Both came away satisfied and ready to face the day.
“Our workshop with Brains isn’t until three, so we actually have time to go see some bands first. Hush plays after Brains’s workshop.”
Krish pulled out the schedule they’d picked up from the front gates and saw that, yes, Hush was on the main stage in the early evening. Warped was an unusual festival, a bit more egalitarian. Though bands were slated on stages based on their album sales and status, headliners played throughout the day, starting as soon as the gates opened, and the schedule changed from stop to stop.
Krish and Jake had agreed on most of the bands they wanted to see, but there were a couple of indie bands Krish had no interest in seeing, and Jake certainly wasn’t up for the more metal acts, like The Amity Affliction and Motionless in White, so they split up for a while. Krish was content wandering the festival grounds alone and enjoying the bands whose music made his spirits soar.
The music brought such vivid memories of Vivaan it was almost as though he were standing next to Krish. Music had been the brothers’ common language. Vivaan taught Krish all he knew and took him to shows as soon as their mother agreed they were old enough to go alone. Warped had been their favorite, and standing at the rear of the crowd watching the new generation of Warped fans screaming and ready to mosh reminded Krish of how it had felt all those years ago with his brother.
As The Amity Affliction ripped into their song “Pittsburgh,” Krish was taken back to the last show he and Vivaan went to before Viv was sent overseas. He ignored the tear that slipped down his cheek and recalled how he played the song over and over during his initial grieving period. His blog had just begun to take off, and many of his readers related to his posts about losing his brother and continued to follow him over the years despite what direction he took the blog. It was always music, but he wrote about grief, he wrote about being an LGBTQ man who happened to be a person of color, and he wrote about the responsibility all Americans had to preserve the rights of others.
And he wanted to keep writing. This summer he needed to produce his best writing yet to prove he was ready for the job. That should have been enough to ground him. But as the afternoon crept closer to Brains’s workshop, Krish became even more anxious about the possibility of meeting Silas than he was about the job. At least with the job he knew what to expect. The magazine liked his writing and appreciated his viewpoint and perspective. In contrast, he had no clue how Silas felt about what he wrote.
Jake found him lingering around the TWLOHA tent dictating a blog post. He held up a finger to Jake so he could finish his thought.
“I’ve always been moved by To Write Love On Her Arms, an organization dedicated to sharing alternatives to self-harm for teens. I’ve known too many kids, in high school and in college, who were in so much pain that they saw no other alternative than to cut, burn, or scar themselves. TWLOHA is one of many organizations doing important work here on Warped Tour, and I’m grateful for that, but it also leads me to moments of sheer rage about the lack of available resources, even for kids with insurance. Nonprofits are wonderful and they do terrific work, but just imagine if the outrageous amounts people pay for healthcare actually took care of them? Or if our government took the needs of those with mental health issues seriously? Imagine a world where there wasn’t so much pain.” He stopped the recording. “Ugh, that’s a topic I get too angry about.”
“Yeah, but just think of what you’ll be able to do when you join Alt-Scene. You could hopefully publish articles in their social justice department.”
Krish loved Jake’s optimism. “If and when they hire me.”
“Whatever. Hey, you ready for this?” Jake held up their passes and wiggled his eyebrows.
Krish swallowed hard. “Sure. Let me just grab some water, okay?”
“Already got us bottles. No more stalling. It’s time for you to meet your man.”
Krish elbowed him as they walked toward the tent where they’d meet up with their group and be led to Billy “Brains” Brennan’s workshop on drum techniques. No big deal.
Krish didn’t play drums, but he knew enough about music to be in awe of all that Brains had accomplished, not only with Hush but with his previous band. He also had equipment deals with companies like Zildjian and Ludwig. Krish had watched his YouTube videos and admired how Brains applied music theory and even different philosophies to metal. It was easy to see where his nickname came from. Krish’s double major in music and journalism had given him an excellent background for his future, but self-taught people like Brains inspired him.
Krish and Jake lined up with the other ten people who’d bought tickets for Brains’s workshop and they gaped at the long lines for Andy Biersack’s and Roxanne’s workshops going on at the same time. Krish had been to one of Roxanne’s workshops before, and he wrote up a nice piece about how the lead singer of Just Like Love was able to assert her feminism into her music and her career in a male-dominated industry. Being a female lead of an all-male band meant she’d often had to work harder than her male counterparts, but she held no grudges and was determined to be a positive influence in her genre.
The guide from TEI, the organization who sponsored the workshop, led them back through the gates and over to a row of tents where Brains was waiting for them behind a scaled-down drum kit. Brains wore a black muscle shirt that fit his slim frame snugly and a pair of roomy black board shorts. His black hair was styled into a faux hawk with glittery product in it, and he’d done his makeup dramatically, with expert-level eyes, lips, and brows. He was playing lightly and concentrating on what he was doing, so he was almost startled when he looked up and saw his pupils sitting on the tarp in front of him.
“Oh, hey,” he said, smiling. “I’m Billy. Welcome to my drumming-technique workshop. How many of you guys play?”
Four teenaged boys in front of Krish and Jake raised their hands along with a sole young woman who could have been anywhere from late teens to early twenties. An older kid—maybe early twenties—sat behind Krish, and Jake and held up a single finger as though he didn’t want any attention called to himself. Jake had fixed his eyes on the guy’s legs, which were heavily tattooed and on display in a pair of cargo shorts, and Krish had to elbow him to get his attention back on Brains.
“Cool. Okay. I’ve been told I tend to talk fast. I’m not really sure why they asked me back again, but here we are. Um. Okay. So—”
Brains talked about foot placement on the pedals and how he preferred thicker sticks that were double butted, which got a lot of giggles from a group of girls off to Krish’s right. They were obviously just there to ogle Brains. Then one of the huge groups walked by, chatting excitedly about meeting Andy, and Brains stopped speaking until they were past.
“Wow,” Brains finally said. “That guy sure pulls them in. Thanks for not leaving me sitting here alone. I know I’m not as cool as Andy—”
The kids in the front row cut him off.
“I love your makeup, Brains,” one young lady said.
Brains blushed. “Thank you.”
“You should do a tutorial video,” her friend said.
“You think? Wow.”
“Yeah. My friend has a whole wall of pictures of your different looks.”
Brains blinked and appeared to be truly touched. The girls asked him what products he used, and the conversation derailed a bit more before he held up a hand.
“Thank you, guys. Seriously. I know you could have picked Andy—”
They begged him to keep talking, saying Andy’s workshop was just a bunch of girls staring at him.
“And dudes,” the young woman said, rolling her eyes. “I know just as many dudes who would love to get with Andy, so….”
Brains looked between them and shrugged. “Anyway, so what I was saying—”
Another large group came by on their way to sit in front of Roxanne. Her tent was between Brains’s and Andy’s, and her group was large but not quite as giggly.
“Really, guys. Thank you for not leaving me alone with them.”
The group laughed as Brains jumped back into his talk, demonstrating things as he went. He talked about the placement he used for his toms to achieve his signature sound and why he preferred a Ludwig kit and how he tended to go through a lot of drum heads because of the power he used. The young woman asked him a couple of questions about his training, and the talk veered off into influences, of which Brains cited a wide variety, from Neil Peart to Ginger Baker and then Joey Jordison to Dave Grohl.
Krish paid as close attention as he could with the noise coming from the tents next door. He brought out his phone a couple of times to jot down notes he would include in his blog and tried not to be disrespectful. Jake elbowed him at one point, so he showed him what he was doing, and Jake smiled.
“Are there any particular songs you guys want me to break down for you?” Brains asked after a bit.
The guy behind Krish raised his hand.
“Yeah?”
He cleared his throat. “Could you show how you make the transitions on ‘Faceless’?”
Brains’s face lit up a bit, and he launched into a very technical discussion that Krish was soon lost in. He watched Brains play some very complicated parts without his usual power, but even so, some of the folks from the other group looked over wide-eyed.
“And you can both go fuck yourselves,” Brains said, and Krish nearly jumped out of his skin. Who was he talking to?
The group all turned their heads to see Silas and Los standing behind them and doing a two-man wave. Silas laughed and elbowed Los. “Sorry, Mr. Brains. We didn’t mean to interrupt you.”
Silas may have sounded contrite, but he appeared to be full of mischief. Krish couldn’t look away. That smile was even more powerful up close. Not because it was a handsome smile, but because it seemed to hover on that line between sweet and unhinged. Krish had always loved watching Silas’s performances, both live and on their music videos, for that very reason. Silas would start out with his eyes flashing and a grin on his face that would eventually morph into something like an insane person’s expression. On anyone else it would have been comical, but on Silas it let Krish and everyone else know that he wasn’t just a pretty face or a talented singer, he was a deep feeler and thinker and didn’t take shit from anyone. His smile embodied all the things Krish loved about him.
Well, love might be a strong word. And how silly to be in love with a rock star who’d never even notice you? Except for the blog. The blog might catch his attention, but Krish wasn’t sure that would be a good thing. And he was still staring. Brains had moved forward with his discussion, and everyone else had turned around except Krish. And now Silas was smiling at him.
Krish turned around in a panic. He’d been caught. Jake eyed him and failed to keep his laughter quiet.
“Busted,” Jake whispered.
Krish couldn’t respond and was afraid if he elbowed him to shut up he’d call even more attention to himself.
Maybe Silas hadn’t noticed just how long he’d been staring. Krish looked toward Roxanne’s group and tried to be sly as he peered over his shoulder.
Silas was still smiling at him, and Krish couldn’t tear his eyes away. The guy was stunning. He’d shaved his head recently, and the stubble was his natural dark color rather than the multicolored hues he’d had for a few years. He already had his stage makeup on, it seemed, as his bluish-green eyes were lined in black and he wore black lipstick. He’d added a nose ring to his piercings since the last time Krish had seen pictures of him, and the gauges in his ears were wider than he remembered, about the size of nickels now. His wiry frame was drenched in black from his tight black pants to the black Judas Priest shirt he wore with the sleeves cut way low so his muscular torso could be seen beneath. He was stunning. His porcelain skin, marked heavily with colorful tattoos from the neck down, was smooth and hairless, and his teeth were so white they nearly blinded Krish. Because he was still smiling at Krish.
Krish’s lips turned up at the corners out of embarrassment, but also excitement. Silas was here. And he’d noticed him.
“And that’s all I’ve got. Anyone have any other questions?”
The kids in the front row began to clap, and Brains stood up and flipped off his bandmates, who cheered the loudest.
“You’re our hero,” Los shouted in a voice cracking like a pubescent teen.
“You know, someday they’re going to ask you to do one of these talks, and I’m going to heckle the crap out of you.”
The band’s manager appeared at his side and gave him a hug.
“Everyone meet Jessica, our mom—ouch!”
“I’m not old enough or crazy enough to be your mom,” she said as she pinched his side. “Okay, everyone, if you’ll all turn around and get together, we’re going to take a group picture. And then you can line up if you want individual pictures with Brains.”
Krish allowed Jake to lead him to where they needed to be for the pictures, because he was still kind of stunned and had to concentrate hard on not giving himself whiplash trying to see where Silas went.
“Everyone, on the count of three, say ‘Brains.’ Here we go. One… two….”
A body crashed into Krish from behind.
“Three.”
“Brains,” Silas growled like a zombie as he shoved his face between Krish’s and Jake’s. For a smaller guy, he sure was strong. Krish had to steady himself so they didn’t all fall forward under Silas’s weight. Krish turned to look down at Silas and got an up-close-and-personal view of his gorgeous smile. Silas winked at him and then ran over to jump on Los’s back.
As the group moved into a single line to take pictures with Brains, Krish hung back. Silas and Los took turns photobombing each of the individual pictures, each trying to outdo each other while Brains tried to be professional… well, as professional as he could be with Silas’s tongue in his ear.
His long, pierced tongue.
Krish couldn’t help but laugh at his antics. It was good to see them having so much fun together after all the hardships they’d been through.
When it was Jake’s turn, Los and Silas crowded each side of him, and a shout from behind them caused their heads to turn.
“Quit mauling my brother, you pervs.”
This led to a bunch of handshakes and more fighting between Jordan and Jake. Silas looked in Krish’s direction and then whispered something to Jake.
The moment of truth. Could Jake play this off?
“Hey, didn’t you want a picture with them?”
Jessica, the tour manager, stood next to Krish, her eyebrows raised in expectation.
“No, thank you. I’m fine.” That was the last thing he needed. More pictures circulating around social media. He’d kept the Guru anonymous. He just had to trust that Jake would keep his secret.
“So that’s Jordan’s brother, huh? He’s so—”
“Square? Yeah.”
Jessica laughed, clapped a hand over her mouth, and lifted it to say, “He really is. I can’t believe they’re brothers. Does he even like metal?”
“Some. He likes Hush. But mostly he came to see The Maine.”
Jessica snorted. “I can’t say anything. They’re cute. So, who were you looking forward to seeing?”
Silas. And more Silas. And Silas.
“Kind of everything, I guess. These guys. The Amity Affliction and Motionless in White. It sucks this is the last year.”
Jessica sighed. “Yeah. We’ll just have to make something of our own. The guys have made some good connections and some of the other managers and I have been talking. We’ve got some ideas.”
Krish perked up. That would be something else. It wouldn’t be the same as Warped. Nothing ever could compare to the mix of music genres and personalities and the causes represented there, but on a smaller scale? Perhaps. Before he could actually contemplate the awesomeness that would be a metalcore festival, Jake gestured for Krish to come over. To join him. With Hush.
Jessica glanced down at his badge. “Intern, huh?”
He looked as well, forgetting he had it already. “Yeah. I’m working in the tour office with Chantal.”
“That’s cool. She’s awesome.” Jessica’s attention strayed back to the spectacle in front of them. “Oh hey, your friend is calling you.” Jessica grabbed Krish’s arm and led him over to where the band stood with Jake. He hoped it didn’t look as though he was dragging his feet or reluctant. He just couldn’t get his body to move in a normal fashion. He felt like Edward Scissorhands—totally out of his element and awkward.
“Guys, this is Krish. Krish, this is the guys.” Jake smiled reassuringly at him and put an arm around him. “He’s a writer.”
Krish wanted to smack Jake. A writer? Why not just out him? Instead he gave a closed-lipped grin and waited for their response.
The band looked at each other as though there was some inside joke he was missing. Silas was the first to reach out a hand.
“Welcome to Warped, Krish.”
Chapter Five
SILAS HELD on to his hand probably longer than what was socially acceptable, but he couldn’t let go. Not yet.
