Typhoon Toby, page 4
“Excuse me,” he said as he pushed past them.
Spencer turned to watch him go. A heavy weight descended on his chest, and he turned to Charlie, his knees weak. A panic attack was imminent.
“I should go,” he whispered. “This wasn’t right.” A coughing fit came on, and he leaned on his friend for support.
“Oh my God, Spencer. Are you all right? What’s wrong? Charlie, bring him in here.”
Spencer tried to get his coughing under control as Jesse and Charlie led him down the hall and into a large library. They guided him to a couch, where he sat and pulled out his inhaler. After two puffs and a moment to catch his breath, he felt as though he could get himself under control.
“I’m sorry Jesse. I’ve been sick. I’m better, but my asthma is still touchy. And I wasn’t expecting to um—”
“What our friend Spencer is trying to say is that he was a little overwhelmed seeing your boy Toby first thing.” Charlie was apparently amused by Spencer’s reaction.
“Have I missed something? Spencer, are you okay?” Jesse had somehow gotten hold of a water bottle, and she handed it to him.
Spencer gratefully accepted the water and drank several gulps.
“I’m on the mend. I’ll be okay, panic attack notwithstanding. Jesse, I’m sorry. I should have told you—”
“What? That you were sick? Yes, you should have. I would have brought some of Nora’s best soup. It’s so good when you’re not feeling well.”
“No, I mean, I should have told you about Tobias.”
It hurt his soul to speak the man’s name out loud. What a fool. He never should have come. It was a breach of trust, and he knew better.
“What, Toby? You know Toby? I only just met him recently, but he’s fantastic.”
He really was. Spencer felt like such a cad. Maybe he could get out without running into him again. “I really should go. Jesse, can I leave a check with you?”
She frowned and looked to Charlie. “What do you mean? You can’t leave. They’re going to sing. They’re going to talk about the show. You have to stay.”
“Spencer is apparently trying to escape out the back. I can see it all over his face. You can forget it, Spencer. You came here to see the man. You’re going to do more than shake his hand and cough. That’s just unsportsmanlike.” Charlie had his arms crossed over his chest and was trying to look tough.
“You came here to see Toby? But—”
The door opened, and Tobias walked in with two men in suits.
“Damn.”
“Whoa.”
“Enough,” Toby said to his friends, but they continued to stare at Spencer in wonder. “Jesse? Darling? Might your husband have an extra mic? And can you pretty please give me a moment alone with….” He gestured with his head toward Spencer.
“Sure. Charlie? Will you come with me to find Danny? I think he’s outside.” Jesse pulled Charlie out of the room, and he gawked the whole way.
The tall African American guy who came in with Tobias stopped Charlie, touched his tie, and burst out laughing.
“That’s great,” he said as he followed Charlie and Jesse out, and left Reese staring curiously at Tobias.
“I’ll be right out.” Toby shoved at Reese and the other guy. They were both grinning like loons, but Reese put a hand on the other guy’s back and whispered to him as they left the room.
Then Spencer was alone with Tobias, and neither of them spoke for several long moments.
Finally Spencer stood from the couch and cleared his throat. “I—”
“Are you sick?” Toby asked in a weak voice that sounded more worried than pissed.
“I was, but it’s not… I have asthma. I caught a virus in Bali. I had pneumonia. I’m negative, though. I swear. I’d never—”
Tobias stood his ground across the room and stared at Spencer with an indecipherable expression on his face as Spencer’s heart beat out of control.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just shown up. Jesse is a friend, and when I saw you on Ellen—”
“Shut up,” Tobias said with a laugh and shook his head. “You’re okay, though, right? You’re okay?”
Spencer nodded, smiling. Could it be that Tobias might forgive him?
Tobias crossed the room in four graceful strides and stopped just in front of Spencer. He reached a hand up and caressed Spencer’s jaw and then ran his fingers through Spencer’s hair. Tobias closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, shifting his weight until he was close enough for them to touch foreheads. He slid his hands down Spencer’s sides and rested them tentatively on his hips. Then he brushed Spencer’s temple with his lips, and Spencer leaned away to cough.
“I’m sorry. I’m not contagious. Just still healing.” He was completely out of breath. Tobias looked down at him with worry. Then he turned and collapsed on the couch with his head in his hands.
“I never thought I’d see you again. I don’t know how to handle this. You don’t know how hard I’ve been trying to smother my memories of you. There isn’t enough alcohol, not enough drugs…. Nothing has worked. And now you’re here.”
Spencer sat next to him and coughed several times, until Tobias handed him the bottle of water. Spencer nodded his thanks, took a drink, and sat the bottle down. He ran his shaky hands through his hair and tried to get his breathing under control.
“I’ll leave. I will, I promise, and I’ll never try to see you again.”
Tobias turned and glared at him. “What the fuck good will that do? You could walk out that door right now, and every day for the rest of my life I’ll still be thinking about fucking you.”
Tobias’s words were like a slap to the face.
“I can’t tell if you’re angry with me, or yourself, or—”
“I don’t do relationships. I don’t. But you’re here. And I still want you just as badly as I did that first night in Bali. So what the fuck am I supposed to do?”
“You’re supposed to go out there and raise money for your musical. Which is why I came… secondarily, I suppose. I want to support what you’re doing. I never told you—”
“There was a reason for that,” Tobias said with a smirk. He smoothed his bleached hair and leaned back against the couch.
“Regardless,” Spencer continued, needing to get the words out. “I never told you that I’m a therapist. I specialize in adolescents, many of whom are queer, and I just think it’s great what you’re doing. I want to support you.”
A cold expression came over Tobias’s face. “A therapist, huh? Fine. You want to support the show? Write a check. Excuse me.”
Tobias stood and stormed toward the door.
“Wait. What did I say?”
Tobias turned at the door and glared at him. “You’re the doctor. Figure it out.”
He was gone before Spencer could take in a breath.
That was exactly why he knew he should never have come, should never have attempted to make contact. What was done was done. Spencer finished the bottle of water and took a few moments to collect himself. He stood and walked over to the matching desks that faced each other in the middle of the room. A stack of paper sat on the desk that looked less used. Spencer grabbed a pen and wrote a note that he hoped would right what he’d done horribly wrong.
When he emerged from the library, he heard laughter and a piano playing in the main room of the house. He wanted to find Jesse or Charlie, give them the note, and then slip out without disturbing anything else.
“Thank you, everyone, for being here to support Reese on his musical journey.” Applause followed Tobias’s introduction. “I’m Toby Griffiths, Reese’s songwriting partner. This show started out as a way for him to pay tribute to his grandfather, the always-entertaining Thomas Matheson. Along the way Reese went through a life-changing experience—a few actually. The meaning behind the music and the message he needed to get out emerged. The Boy on the Corner is not only a tale of forbidden love. It’s a wake-up call that we, as a society, need to finally move away from hate toward acceptance, from fear to understanding. Love is love, my friends. I’m going to assume you all feel the same and that’s why you’re here supporting this groundbreaking project. As a thank-you for your patronage, Reese, myself, and our always-fabulous bass player, Dwayne Maxwell, are going to play a piece from the show.”
Applause filled the room. Spencer had to stay just long enough to hear Tobias’s voice. He had to know.
Reese began to play a soulful ballad, and Tobias and the other man added a gentle rhythm.
Reese:
That fire, you there with that fire
My heart longs to be warm beside you
But that fire, you keep that fire
Away from me
How long must I wait
To be warm next to your fire
Toby:
This fire, the fire that draws you
This fire will never warm you
One touch and it will consume you
Destroy us both
How long must I wait
For this fire to burn out
Reese:
Your fire, your fire it draws me
Come here, let me warm my hands dear
You’ll see, how good it can be dear
A fire this good will warm us both
You can’t deny
Let me try
Let me next to your fire
Toby:
I want to give you my fire, love
I want to give you my all, love
But what is this love
That cannot be
Burned to ashes inside of me
You can’t deny
The more you try
You’ll burn within my fire.
Spencer felt tears welling as the men sang their parts—one man desperate to be near the other, one man warning him away for fear the fire will destroy them. Is that what Tobias was trying to say before? But then everything changed when Spencer mentioned what he did. What secrets was his lover hiding? Could he ever gain his trust?
The three men finished the piece, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. The applause went on longer than Tobias and Reese were obviously comfortable with. It appeared Reese was a little misty-eyed, and Tobias gave him a hug and then returned to the microphone.
“Thank you so much. Thank you. We appreciate you all being here to support us. If you are able and willing to support our little love story and help us get it out into the world, please whip out those checkbooks. I think our trusty manager, Arthur Frye, also has a Square or a card with our PayPal on it. Whatever your poison. Now if you all don’t mind, we’d like to bring a little funk up in here.”
Spencer’s fever seemed to return as he watched Tobias adjust his drums a bit and pull out a different set of sticks. Dwayne traded his stand-up bass for an electric bass, and Danny stood by and oooed and aaahed over their equipment while he traded good-natured laughs with the guys.
Spencer had met Jesse during a meeting for a student during the fall semester two years earlier, and Charlie told him about Jesse’s relationship with Danny, how she’d been his home instructor while he recovered from vocal cord surgery. Their student-teacher romance bloomed over a summer, and she quit as his teacher of record once they became involved. He wanted to earn his diploma to make his young daughter happy. It was a touching story. He and Charlie had even been invited to their wedding reception, but Spencer worked himself up into an anxiety attack and bailed. Charlie couldn’t stop gushing to their friend group about how awesome it was to be hanging out with Blackened and all of their musician friends.
“Your guy is pretty fucking amazing, Spencer,” Charlie said as he handed him a glass of champagne.
“Not my guy,” Spencer corrected. “Definitely not. Here.” He gave Charlie his check wrapped inside the paper he’d written the note on. “Please see that Jesse gets this to them. I need to go. I can’t stay here—”
Charlie tried to pull him aside to talk, but Tobias’s voice boomed out over the small crowd.
“I’d like to honor some of the loves we’ve lost this year,” he said into the microphone as he appeared to make eye contact with Reese and Dwayne. He counted off, and they played the opening bars to “Fame,” by David Bowie, and the house went wild. Guests scrambled to put their drinks down and find a place to dance. Jesse grabbed Danny and the two of them got cozy right up front. She had some incredible moves. Charlie bobbed his head along with the music and gestured for them to move closer, but Spencer held up a hand to say he was close enough.
From “Fame” they transitioned into “Sexy M.F.” by Prince, and the guests lost their minds. Tobias was amazing when he channeled David Bowie, but watching him master the drums and imitate Prince’s swagger on the vocals was too much. His falsetto brought on chills. Spencer was so hot he thought for sure he would end up back in the hospital. Either that or he’d combust from the build up of all the sexual energy.
Tobias’s bleached-blond hair pulled loose from his slicked back ’do and hung over his dark eyes. He enunciated each word carefully, and watching his lips sent Spencer into a spiral of lust as he remembered how sensual Tobias had been in their darkened hotel room. He’d spoken in such a commanding voice when he told Spencer exactly what he wanted from him. Spencer had been unafraid to try all the things Tobias asked for. He was thrilled by the experience, and even if he walked away tonight and never had a future with Tobias, he’d treasure the memories.
When that song ended, the men launched into a sultry version of “Too Funky” by George Michael, this time with Reese on the vocals. Spencer was awestruck by Tobias as he lost himself to the beat and smiled at the crowd and sent out flirtatious glances. For a very white boy, he was in the groove, and Spencer desperately needed some fresh air.
Danny joined them and brought out two guitars. Another blond guy took over on the drums, and Danny handed a guitar to Tobias. Tobias really got down then. “Play That Funky Music” got out of control, followed by some Earth Wind & Fire and more Prince until the whole house was grinding on each other like a drunken frat party. Spencer couldn’t help but chuckle as he watched the stuffy benefactors in their fancy clothes getting down in Danny Black’s horror-inspired living room. The whole thing was surreal.
“Spencer, come dance with us.” Jesse waved him over to where she and Charlie were dancing with a few other people. Spencer waved to them from a barstool against the back wall. There was no way he could join them. He’d done way too much today. He hadn’t been out of the house in a month except for doctor’s appointments, and this event was physically and emotionally trying.
And Toby… just thinking of the expression on his face when he’d walked away from Spencer made the panic attack start to flare up again, and he was desperate to have his freak-out alone.
The music continued, and he thought he should sneak out before he collapsed. He stood from his stool, and with some weaving and bobbing, he turned for the front door. A hand touched his back as he staggered into the wall of the entryway.
“I never took you for a sloppy drunk,” a deep voice said close to his ear. “About what I said earlier, I—”
Spencer turned in the darkened hall and looked into Tobias’s handsome face.
“I haven’t… I don’t… I’m leaving. I’m sorry….”
Tobias appeared to bank left, and then things went dark.
Chapter Six
“I REALLY think we should call an ambulance,” Jesse said once more.
Toby chewed a fingernail, his chest tight with worry. Had he really found his lover, turned him away, and then nearly lost him? He could kick himself for how he’d treated Spencer, but what the fuck was he supposed to do with that information? A fucking therapist?
“I’ll take him home. He hasn’t been out. He’s been sick for a while, and he doesn’t do crowds well. He just,” Charlie said, looking pointedly at Toby, “he wanted to be here and support your show.”
Toby cursed loudly and turned away. He barely resisted the urge to punch something—hard.
Hazel Eyes…. Spencer. He lay on the bed in Jesse’s spare bedroom while her personal assistant, Nora, took his blood pressure. Toby wanted to tell them all to fuck off and let him take care of Spencer, but at the same time, he wanted to go back to the other room and drink a pint of vodka… or something stronger. Vodka might not do it tonight.
“His BP is fine,” Nora said. She used an ear thermometer, and it beeped a moment later. “His fever isn’t terribly high. He’s probably dehydrated.” She gave Jesse a pointed look.
“I know, I know. I swear I’m drinking enough water. I learned my lesson.”
Toby looked between them and figured there was some history he was unaware of. All he cared about right then was the perfect man lying against the white sheets, his dark, curly hair framing his face. It was longer than he remembered, and he’d lost weight.
Spencer woke slowly, his eyes traveling the faces gathered around. He looked alarmed as he pushed himself up.
“Oh my God, Jesse. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have come.” He tried to climb out of bed, but a coughing fit slowed him down.
Toby was frozen. He had no clue how to respond.
“Don’t get up.” Nora placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “You should stay here tonight. I’m a nurse. Unless you want to go to the hospital—”
“Hospital? God no. I’m fine, really. This was just a bit more than I was ready for. Jesse? Can you give the letter to Tobias? Please let him know how sorry I am.”
Toby felt like he’d been kicked in the gut. Spencer must not have seen him. He was standing away from the bed in the shadows so Spencer’s friends could take care of him.
Jesse glanced over to where Toby stood in the corner, but he shook his head at her.
“Sure I will, sweetie. Why don’t you just rest? Danny and I will take you home in the morning. Okay?”
Toby watched as Spencer seemed to sink into the pillows, looking frightened. He turned to his friend Charlie.
