Awakened Horror, page 12
I didn’t like this. I didn’t like Zavis’s train of thought. I didn’t like that subterfuge and murder were the only ways forward – the only ways to be safe.
It’s what Tynan would do.
That was why I didn’t like it. “I … I can try,” I replied.
“Thank you, Raith. That is all that can be asked.”
Zavis abruptly lifted his left arm, pulling up the sleeve of his robe to reveal an Arachnobot on his wrist. He read the message on the device, then walked over to the end of the observation deck, standing right before the windows. His dark silhouette contrasted against the blue, undulating light cone outside the ship. There was something about the way the old man stood there that said come closer, come stand beside me.
I walked over and stood next to Zavis, gazing out at the lightscape just as he was.
“Is everything alright?”
Zavis let out a heavy breath. “Yes … and no. I, personally, at this moment, am alright. Granted, I am worried about you and your family, what you’ve been through and what you might yet go through if the worst comes to pass.”
I nodded. “And outside of yourself?”
“Do you remember when we first met, and at one point, I spoke to you of a signal that we detected far beyond our domain?”
It only took a moment for the memory to resurface. “Hmm … yeah, I do.”
“It was dumb luck – our finding the signal, I mean – we’d simply pointed the right type of sensor at the right part of the sky, and boom, there was the signal quietly pulsating away, almost drowned out by the background noise of the universe.”
Zavis paused, his eyes flicking left and right as if searching for the words he wanted to say, like they were out there in the spacetime warping past us.
“We were greedy. We knew how much the Khel technology had advanced humanity – what if this signal was more of the Khel? Or another race altogether, with different technological secrets they’d be willing to trade? As I told you back then, we sent several exploration vessels out there to find it; we lost contact with them all.”
I nodded, remembering the previous conversation well.
“Now, before we could send out any more ships, the Empire’s focus shifted towards conquering the Republic’s territory, and you know how things played out from there.”
I couldn’t help but smile at Zavis’s comment.
“Once the Empire was gone, the Republic had little interest in chasing after some far-flung signal, despite my continued advocation that it was worth understanding the who, the what, and the where of this transmission.”
Zavis loosed another weighted breath and appeared to age ten years as he exhaled.
“I just got confirmation that the … Horror, as you call it, is emitting the signal. It has been the source all this time.”
Whoa!
What had drawn the Horror to us? Was it an encounter with the exploration vessels?
“When I heard that all exploration vessel transmissions had ended, I was filled with dread – not because I thought we were invincible, but because the entire fleet had gone silent. That was not a positive indication. Now, witnessing what I have today – that neither gauss cannon, firecracker or nuclear missile could scratch that thing – that terrifies me. Aptly, perhaps, it elicits a sense of horror.”
“We drew it here with the exploration vessels, right?”
“I don’t think so,” Zavis replied, shooting down what I thought was a very logical conclusion.
“Oh?”
“If those vessels were the reason for the Horror having shown up, I think it would’ve happened much sooner.”
“Then how did it find us?”
“The mass conversion device pulses.”
“What?” I shouted as my insides contracted and grew heavy.
That was a very specific reason Zavis had given, and he had responded without hesitation.
“Why would you think that would’ve led that thing here? How would you know that?”
“The signal that the Horror transmits … it’s a radio transmission containing a binaural beat, which, when listened to, induces theta waves.”
Fuck me.
“The signal is a lure?”
“I believe so, yes. I think the best analogy is that it uses it like echolocation, but instead of waiting for an echo, it looks for returning theta waves. I do not know how sensitive its sensors are, but I suspect they’d work within a tight range. Under normal circumstances, I think we were too far away to be detected.”
“Then we build a device that emits massive, powerful blasts of theta waves,” I replied as my voice cracked, throwing my hands up in despair. “We triggered it again and again and again!”
Visions of Akka’s destruction flashed through my mind and I felt my knees weaken, then I dropped to the floor as a wave of guilt surged over me.
“I did this!” I cried, and tears streamed down my face. “I summoned that thing here!”
“No, Raith, you didn’t,” Zavis replied, slowly kneeling beside me.
“But I did!” I shouted; my guilt mixed with anger. I jabbed myself in the chest as I yelled, “I was the one pulling the trigger each time, wasn’t I?”
“Yes, but that doesn’t make it your fault. We used the mass conversion device to save lives!”
“And where has that gotten us?” I yelled as my guilt ignited into rage. “What was the population of Akka?”
Zavis shrugged. “I don’t –”
“Don’t tell me you don’t know! I know you know because you’re the sort of person who knows these things!” I screamed, using the wall to clamber back to my feet.
“About ten thousand,” Zavis admitted.
“Ten thousand. We rescued … a few hundred, so that’s basically all ten thousand dead. And tomorrow, when that machine comes for Gaia? Then it’ll be a million that are dead! And what about when it gets to Earth? What are they at, like eight billion now?”
“Ah … more like eleven billion.”
“Right. Well, great.” I threw my hands in the air. “Then it’ll be eleven billion dead, all because of me and my actions! Yeah, we did it to save lives. How will that be working out for us when over eleven billion people are dead?”
“That hasn’t happened yet, Raith. We still have time to stop it!”
“Stop it with what?” I yelled, spit flying from my mouth. “We threw nukes at that motherfucker, and it broke them apart like they were nothing! Hell, we threw a goddamn asteroid at it, and it threw it right back!”
The reel of images was still on repeat inside my mind; flashes of the asteroid entering the atmosphere, its collision with Akka’s surface, and the fireball that had followed. How were we supposed to combat a machine that could orchestrate such levels of destruction?
“I know you’re angry, Raith. I wish I had the answers for you, truly, I do. But right now, there are a lot of questions. All I can say is, have faith – I’m sure we will find a way.”
“Where do you find all of your optimism?”
“Why are you yelling?”
Zavis and I turned to see Tynan and a posse of soldiers striding into the room.
“Mind your own goddamn business!” I snapped before I could help myself.
Tynan raised an eyebrow. “This is my ship! Everything on it is my goddamn business! Take them away!”
Chapter 8
Man in the Mirror
2159, Common Era – Frontier Space, the Republic of Humanity
Rage consumed Tynan after he heard about what happened on the bridge, but fortunately he had no memory of it, having blacked out throughout the entire experience – being aware of the events only through what others had said. All my actions hadn’t been enough to garner Tynan’s sympathy, if he had any to give, and so he’d placed Zavis, Amorina, and Emma back into cryosleep, and I was once again left in my dark, dismal cell.
At first, I thought I’d be alright – I’d survived this cell before, I’d survive it again – but as minutes turned into hours and hours into days, my fortitude rapidly diminished. Where before I’d perhaps ignored or convinced myself that I was coping with the malnourishment, now I was really feeling its effects. My limbs felt heavy and stiff, and every moment felt like I was losing more and more strength, my muscles atrophying through disuse and lack of food. The isolation and darkness, the hunger and silence, it all got to me a lot quicker than expected, and soon, I was lost in a hell born of my thoughts and memories.
My conversation with Zavis was still fresh in my mind, as were the revelations about the signal and the high likelihood that our actions – my actions – had summoned the Horror to our corner of the galaxy. Each time the thought crept into my mind, guilt was a heavy blanket over me, and seething anger accompanied it. I’d acted upon half-truths and partial information, and humanity had suffered – was suffering – because of it. Had I known all the facts, would I have seen another way? Could I have made different choices?
The days soon added up, and clarity gave way to madness through hallucinations. I began to see my family: Zavis, Amorina, and Emma, all icy and blue in their frozen slumber; Ichirō beaten and bruised by Tynan’s hand; and Adanna, Winona, Mother and Father all on Gaia, looking up at the night sky, wondering where on earth we’d gone and if we were even alive. I knew what that uncertainty felt like, and I wished I could end their anguish of not knowing – but I couldn’t end my torment, let alone anyone else’s.
As days turned into weeks, Akka’s destruction consumed my thoughts, the events looping over and over: the eerie orange glow as the atmosphere ignited the surface of the asteroid, the flash of light as it impacted with Akka’s surface and the shockwaves that hurled fire and pulverised rock through the air afterwards. With each repetition, guilt-ridden waves of “what ifs” and “could haves” washed over me. Could I have saved more civilians? What if I hadn’t thrown that asteroid? Could I have done more to earn the trust of the crew? What if I’d said something to Ichirō? If I hadn’t used the mass conversion device repeatedly, would all of this have been avoided in the first place?
I felt as if I’d failed Akka’s citizens most of all; one minute they were hopeful, believing that someone had come to their aid, then suddenly, they saw a planet-killing asteroid bearing down upon them, and before they could even understand what was about to happen, they were obliterated by fire and brimstone.
A hell of a way to go.
Even though I hadn’t been in control of most of the events surrounding their demise, I couldn’t help but feel responsible for their destruction – their cessation of life. None of this would've happened if I’d just ended the Empire when I’d had the chance.
It’s what Tynan would’ve done.
I shook my head as if trying to shake the thought away. I could almost taste the bitter resentment of my past inaction. It is what Tynan would have done, but I wasn’t Tynan … was I? No, I wasn’t. But maybe I should’ve been? Maybe being Raith is what led to the current mess … but if I was Raith then …
Maybe not being Tynan is what led to the current mess.
A shiver ran through me like an icy wave that made my heart feel tight and cold. I hallucinated a mirror, my reflection looking back at me. Slowly, the image changed as my scar faded away, my skin grew firm, and my hairline advanced, reclaiming its lost territory.
“I am not Tynan,” I whispered to the dark doppelgänger. “I am not Tynan.”
The reflection smiled cruelly. “But you could be,” it whispered back.
[)
I heard grinding metal, and the cell door opened wide, flooding the cell with searing light. My eyes stung from the sudden brightness. With a low groan, I managed to shield them with my arms.
“Come on, get up, ya lazy fuck!” yelled a soldier.
Before I could even stand, a sturdy pair of hands took hold of my torso and hoisted me to my feet. Moments later, they carried me out of the cell.
“…” I tried to speak, but like last time, my vocal cords had forgotten how to work. I cleared my throat and tried again.
“What’s happening?” It came out as a raspy wheeze, but it was intelligible and without pauses this time.
“You’ll soon see.”
The soldiers brought me into a wet room where they tore off my soiled clothing and then turned a high-pressure hose on me. I gasped as the freezing water struck my skin, the cold and force of it like a thousand tiny needles stabbing into my skin. Once they’d washed away all traces of excrement, they roughly towelled me down then ushered me into another room and forced me into a chair. The soldiers moved back, and a man stepped up behind me and began cutting my hair.
“How are you doing, Raith?” the barber asked as he deftly trimmed my overgrown locks.
“Okay … let’s skip the fake pleasantries,” I rasped, “can we just get to the part where you yell ‘psyche’ and throw me back in my cell?”
The barber shook his head. “This is a genuine haircut, I’m afraid. No fake outs here.”
“Look, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, cause honestly, you’re doing a great job, although at this stage anything is an improvement … but why are you doing this?”
“His Grace’s orders. He wants you washed, shaved, and shorn, so that is what we’re doing,” replied one of the waiting soldiers.
“Tynan ordered this?”
“Yes – now stop asking questions!” he snapped.
I shrugged and leant back in the chair; my voice was gaining strength a lot quicker than last time, but this conversation had left my throat raw. So, I waited patiently whilst the barber wrangled months’ worth of growth into order and let my voice – and the rest of me – relax.
As soon as the barber had worked his magic, he placed a set of fresh clothes on a nearby table, and with a flourish, he said, “For you, Raith. They should be the correct size.”
“Ah, thank you,” I replied as he left the room.
The clothing was simple and grey, but I was glad to find that it was the right size, despite my shrunken frame, and that it was comfortable against my skin. As soon as I pulled on the last items, the soldiers took hold of me and marched me out of the room again.
Here comes the cell.
To my surprise, the cell wasn’t my destination. Instead, they led me into a mess hall and sat me down before a full three-course meal.
“Ha ha, okay guys – you got me, okay?” I said incredulously, convinced I was being fucked with. “You can turn off the hologram or smash the cream pie in my face and take me back to my cell now, okay?”
“The food’s real, ya dumb fuck. Eat it or lose it.” one soldier retorted.
I cautiously extended my hand for a piece of roast chicken and was delighted when I felt a tangible, warm, and fresh piece of chicken. I warily eyed every corner of the room, searching for some hidden crevice where Tynan or an advisor might lurk, just waiting to leap out and reveal the nature of the mind fuck, but I couldn’t see any hidden enclaves or suspicious figures. I picked up a chicken drumstick and ravenously tore off the flesh, stripping it down to the bone in seconds. After discarding the bone, I looked around the room in case someone had now appeared, but it was still just me and the two soldiers.
Maybe this is real after all?
I turned back to the table and started digging into the food, albeit at a more reserved pace this time.
[)
I finally leant back, my belly round but a pleasant fullness had replaced the hollow feeling I’d had for so long. They gave me no time to enjoy a food coma, though, as the soldiers came back over and pulled me back to my feet.
“Off to the cell now, is it?”
“Nope.”
The buzz of confusion in my head left me puzzled; if this was all happening on Tynan’s order, then what was his motive? What was the intention here?
The soldiers escorted me through the ship, and I felt a chill in the air as they brought me to an unlit, bow-facing observation room. As soon as they’d pushed me inside, I heard the door shut behind me with a heavy thud. It was strange behaviour, but I was grateful for the change of scenery – anything was better than being in the cell. I stumbled to the window; my eyes were drawn to the bright blue cone of light radiating before the ship. The light cone of warp travel appeared to be a monotonous blue if you just glanced at it, but if you took the time to study and appreciate it, it revealed its true nature: a smorgasbord of blues, some light and some dark, colours on the verge of being purple and others that were almost white.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?”
I was so startled by the speech that I jumped, my muscles tensed for fight, and my heart lurched. I spun around and, after a few seconds of adjustment, made out Tynan’s seated figure in the shadows, his silhouette illuminated by the faint light of the room.
“Tynan …”
My doppelgänger nodded, his face expressionless.
What the fuck is going on?
The sudden shower, the haircut, the meal, and now this? A private audience with Tynan? I didn’t know what this was yet, but there had to be a catch coming. I remained stationary, watching Tynan just as Tynan watched me. The silence in the room grew increasingly awkward.
What was he waiting for – does he want me to make the first move?
“Why am I here?” I asked. “Why … wash me, feed me – fresh clothes and the shave?”
“Well, you know, when I saw you last time you looked … worse than I imagined you would after spending that time in the cell,” he shuddered at the memory, “and I assumed that your condition wouldn’t have improved after three more months in that cell, so I wanted you freshened up before I had you brought to me.”
“Okay … why did you want me brought here?”
“I was feeling bored, and you were the only one I wanted to talk to, but I didn’t want you in here in that god awful state and rumbling stomach – that would detract from the conversation.”
Where is Tynan going with this?
“Why was it me you wanted to talk to?”
