Single Dads, Big Hearts, page 24
“Wait,” Brady says before I can leave the door.
I turn around, smacking on a fake smile. Jasper looks over to me, but then concentrates on his phone.
“Grandma, can you get me my backpack?” Brady asks and Natalie smiles, handing it over to him.
“Here you go.” She opens the pocket he wants her to and his healthy arm digs into the zipper and he pulls something out.
The pin.
A heart-shaped pin with fake pearls and rhinestones glued to it.
“This is for you,” he says, placing it in my palm with a smile.
Jasper looks up from his phone, his mouth hanging open, his eyes flashing between me, Natalie, Brady and back to me.
“It’s beautiful.” I smile, pinning it to my shirt. “I love it.”
I lean over again and hug his small body to mine. My tears, unable to stay away, fall freely down my cheeks now. “Thank you so much,” I say. “It’s the best present anyone has ever given me.”
“Don’t cry, I didn’t want you to cry,” he says and I shake my head.
Natalie laughs.
“I’m crying because I love it so much. They’re happy tears.”
Okay, I may have just half lied to him, but I’ve been skipping mommy training classes lately.
“I’ll see you soon,” I say. Another lie.
I run out of the room as fast as I’m able, feeling bad for not staying with Brady, but there’s no way I can remain in that room with Jasper either. I stop in the lobby to compose myself for a second.
“Lennon,” Jasper calls after me and I look up, the tears that were waning rushing back.
I turn and he’s standing there with his hands in his pockets.
“I’m sorry,” I say, unpinning Brady’s gift from my shirt. “You save this for when you meet his real mom.” I hold it out but he doesn’t take it from me. “Just take it, Jasper.” I hold it out a little firmer this time. When he still doesn’t take it but remains silent, I slip it into the pocket of his shirt.
“Lennon. Stop.” His voice is cold and nothing like the one I’m used to.
“Just so you know, I did love you. I know I lied and deceived you, but my feelings for you and Brady are real. So, please, never doubt that.” I step forward and press my lips to his cheek.
His hands never leave his pockets and I fall back to my heels.
“How can I ever trust you?” he asks in a ragged voice.
I shake my head. “I guess you can’t.”
I turn around and run out of the doctor’s office and it isn’t until I’m in the elevators that I’m able to release the sob I’ve been holding in my chest.
Chapter Forty
“You’re insane. Don’t do this,” Whitney says through the phone.
“I can’t in good faith take this deal.”
I’m on my way to Jasper’s office because Drew has some huge deal that came through for me. It looks as if one of my patents is going to come through and one of the largest distributors of adult products in the country wants to license the product.
“Yes, you can. Who cares. If the prick can’t face the fact that you love him and accept your apology, screw him.” Whitney has a fierce side that many don’t see. But when she feels strongly about something it’s hard to get her to back down.
“I’m fine. Really. It’s for the best. I’ll figure something else out.”
Maybe I’ll be tattooing forever, but who cares? At least I’ll have proven to Jasper that I wasn’t with him for his connections. It won’t change the outcome, but I’ll feel some satisfaction knowing that when he thinks of me, it’s not to think that I’m a gold-digging opportunist. If he even thinks of me at all, that is.
“Oh, Lennon.” She says it like I’m attending a funeral.
“Whit, I’m fine. This is the last time I’ll have to maybe run into him. And I can try to get past all this.” My subconscious nudges me, knowing that’ll never happen, but a girl can dream.
“Call me when you’re done,” she says, defeat thick in her voice.
“Will do.”
I hang up and shove my phone into my purse. My stomach knots and I release a breath as the elevator rises. I step off and open the doors to the office. Brittany smiles and picks up the phone.
“You better be calling Drew.” I point my finger, my feet moving faster.
“Mr. Banks.” She shoots me a tight smile, but I reach over the receptionist desk and press the button to end the call.
“No. No Mr. Banks. I just need to see Mr. Ashland,” I say as nicely as I can manage and she scrunches her eyebrows and then nods.
“That explains Miss Schmidt.”
Miss Schmidt? Jasper’s seeing someone else already? I ignore the twisting in my gut.
She picks up the phone. “Hi, Sue, Miss Hart is here to see Mr. Ashland.” She pauses for a second. “Okay, I’ll just send her back.”
She hangs up just as Jasper comes out into the reception area.
“Brittany, why did you han—” He stops when he sees me.
Brittany’s gaze moves back and forth between us. “Awkward,” she says, her teeth clenched but her eyes fixed on what she thinks will be a show.
“Sorry, it’s not Miss Schmidt.” I walk by him, the smell of his cologne filling my senses, and I lose my footing for a second, but get back on track.
“What?”
I ignore him and continue down to Drew’s office. Sue smiles when she sees me approach. “He’s ready,” she says, holding her hand to the door.
“Thank you, Sue.” I smile and grip the doorknob.
“Are you joining them, Mr. Banks?” she asks and I glance over my shoulder, finding him in the hallway, his narrowed eyes on me.
He shakes his head. “No.”
I open the door, no longer able to look at him. It only brings me pain and I’m so tired of being in pain.
Drew sees me enter and smiles before he rounds the corner, wrapping his arms around my waist and swinging me in a circle. “Congratulations!” he says so loudly I wish he’d quiet down.
A second later, there’s a knock on the door, and Jasper comes barging in, finding me in Drew’s arms.
He huffs. “I see you move fast,” he sneers and slams the door.
Drew sets me back down. “What is he talking about?” His forehead creases and he scratches the side of his head.
“I’m not taking the deal, Drew.” I stomp out of Drew’s office, down the hall and into Jasper’s.
I slam the door behind me and he’s there waiting for me, leaning back in his office chair, his intent gaze on me. He knew I’d follow and fuck if I didn’t take the bait.
“What is your problem?” I ask, my hands on my hips.
“I just find it convenient that we break up and now you’re in Drew’s arms. You can sure shift gears fast.”
My blood boils. I love this man, but I’m done being a punching bag. “Fuck you, Jasper.”
He stands up, his hands pressed on the desk in front of him. “Been there. Done that. First you fucked me, then you fucked me over.” The anger and hurt in his voice shakes every bone in my body.
“How many times can I say I’m sorry? I wasn’t expecting to meet you and feel something for you.”
“But you went on a date with me to try to get me to invest in your company?” he asks, leaning on the edge of his desk, and damn if I don’t notice how impeccable he looks in his suit.
“Yes, but when I accepted I decided at that point that I wouldn’t approach you on the business part of it.”
“You could’ve been truthful with me from the start.”
My shoulders fall. “I can’t excuse my behavior. I said I was sorry, but I don’t have a time machine to go back and change what happened.”
“When do you think you’ll grow up?” he asks, raising his eyebrows.
I hold my hands up. “Forget it. I’m out. Enjoy Miss Schmidt.”
I walk toward the door and his fist pounds on his desk. “Goddamn it, Lennon.”
“What?” I turn around. My eyes lock with his angry ones. “There’s nothing else I can say or do.”
He blows out a breath and steps forward. “Stop running.”
I fall to my knees and place my hands in prayer. “Is this what you want, Jasper? Please forgive me. I was wrong, I promise to never do it again.”
He grabs me and pulls me up from under my arms. “Don’t make a joke out of this.”
“I’m not.” Tears falls down my cheeks once more. God, when will they stop? “I don’t know what you want from me. I’m sorry, I don’t wish I could go back to that first night and tell you exactly how I ended up there, because what if you would’ve walked away from me? I can’t say I truly feel that way because what we have…” My head falls. “Had.” I take a deep breath at hearing us referred to in past tense. “As much as it hurts, I love the time we spent together and I would never want to change anything and risk that it wouldn’t have happened.” I wipe the tears from my cheeks. “I fell so madly in love with you and Brady… I can’t regret anything that made that time happen.” He looks away and I take that as my cue to leave. “I am sorry that I hurt you. You just snuck into my heart and I was too afraid of losing you both.”
I grip the doorknob. “Take the deal, Lennon,” he whispers.
I shake my head, turning around, tears blurring my vision. “It’s just not important anymore.”
I open the door, passing Drew and Sue, who look like they’ve been out here listening to our argument.
Drew catches up to me at the elevator. “You have to take this deal, Lennon. We’re both going to make a lot of money.”
I press the elevator button and give him a sad smile. “I’m sorry, Drew. I appreciate everything you’ve done.”
I step into the elevator and leave behind all the hopes I’d had for my future behind the steel doors.
Chapter Forty-One
I’m in my curtained-off room in the back of my tattoo parlor eating a quesadilla when Michelle peeks her head in. I startle and a drop of salsa lands on my ‘I Hope You Step On A Lego’ shirt.
“Shit,” I say, using a napkin to wipe it off. I really like this shirt. I saw it a while back but until I actually stepped on one of Brady’s Legos, I didn’t really get it. After experiencing the kind of catastrophic pain at the hands of a child’s small plastic toy I went and brought it the next day.
“Lennon,” Michelle says. “Your appointment is early.”
I put my food down in the takeout container and shove it on the counter then begin to wash my hands. “Send him in.”
“Okay.”
She disappears and someone walks in behind me. I take the paper towels, drying my hands.
“Hi, I’m Lennon.” I turn around to find him on the table.
You know which him I mean.
Jasper Banks.
“I have an appointment,” I tell him, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Me.”
“You?”
That playful smile crosses his lips. “Yes, me. See, I figured I could come here and grovel. I could fall on my knees and beg you to take me back. I could apologize for storming out or for not running after you at Brady’s doctor’s office.”
I swallow past the dryness in my throat and try to act like the words he’s saying aren’t exactly what I’ve wanted to hear since we broke up.
“Most of all I could tell you how deeply your words reached me. How you not taking the deal showed me how much you loved me. And how ashamed I am that I would need that reassurance to know you love me because when I’m with you… I feel it. I fell in love with you long before you ever chose to admit you loved me, but I found comfort in knowing that you loved me, too. When I thought it was all a sham… I was hurt and pissed off at myself that I put Brady in the position to lose someone again.”
“And now? You said you could never trust me again.”
He hops off the table, stepping into my personal space, and places his hand on my cheek. Instinctively, I lean into his strength, somehow still needing it.
“I’m giving myself to you.”
“Oh, sweetie, but you already did that.” Sarcasm drips off my words.
His hands drop and he backs away from me. A devilish gleam in his eye, he lies down on my table. “I’m yours.”
“You came to apologize and beg me to take you back by letting me have sex with you?” I ask.
He rolls to his side, propping his head up with his hand. He could be on a commercial. “No, my body.” He shakes his head. “You tattoo me, whatever you want.”
I stare at him for a moment. “Anything?”
“Anything.” He doesn’t flinch.
“Maybe I’ll put a unicorn cock on you,” I say, sitting on my chair.
He crooks his finger to me. “I’m not even sure what that is, nor am I sure I want to know.” He chuckles. “Come here,” he says and I roll over to him. “I trust you. This is me showing you that I trust you. That I’m ready to put it behind us and move forward.”
“You’re giving me all of the control?” I ask, still unsure exactly what his point is.
He nods. “Some would say I’m crazy, but I like to think I’m crazy for you.” He chuckles.
“Okay.” I hold my hand up in the air. “Where is Jasper Banks?”
“I’m right here.” He laughs like I’m talking gibberish.
“Me tattooing a unicorn cock on you isn’t going to put a Band-Aid on the problem.”
He sits up and pats the seat next to him.
“Jasper,” I sigh.
“Come here.”
I climb on the table, my legs swinging back and forth. “I need to tell you the whole story,” I say, my voice small.
He slides closer, his hand landing on my knee. “Why don’t you tell me while you ink me?”
“I can’t tattoo you, Jasper,” I say.
“Yes, you can.” I look over and his hand tightens on my thigh. “Come on.”
I look into his eyes. He’s serious. If he thinks this will put it all behind us, I’m game. “Give me a few to draw it up.”
“I’ll just lie here.” He lies down on my bed once I hop off and roll my chair over to the table. “And admire you.”
I glance over my shoulder and that grin on his lips makes my stomach flip. He truly is the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen.
“How’s Brady?” I ask, searching on my phone for exactly what I want the tattoo to resemble.
“He misses you. He hasn’t said much to me after the doctor’s office. I messed that up pretty big.”
My gut wrenches thinking about Brady, an innocent victim in all this.
“He’ll be happy to have you back,” he says, full of confidence.
“Jasper,” I sigh because he hasn’t heard the entirety of what I did. How premeditated my actions were. There’s a possibility he won’t be able to move on and I don’t want to get my hopes up.
“You almost done? I’m eager to put this behind us.”
“You’re relentless,” I say, standing up to take my picture to the front to get the stencil made.
“That’s why you fell in love with me.” He winks and my face heats.
“I’ll be right back.” I walk past Sebastian, my next-door neighbor, who’s piercing a girl’s tongue. Weaving by the open tables in the front, I slide by Michelle to make the stencil at the thermal fax machine.
It scans and I look out the window while I’m waiting. Can we really move on?
“He’s hot.” Michelle taps her pen to her lips.
I stare blankly, not about to give her the gossip she’s looking for. I’ve kept Jasper away from this place except for the time I brought him here one night after coffee. Michelle wasn’t here then and there’s a reason for that. She tends to flirt with anyone with a twig and berries between their legs.
“He yours?” she asks, the pen cap hitting her teeth.
“Nope.”
“Hmm,” she mumbles. “He didn’t seem interested when I tried to flirt with him earlier.”
“So you figured he was with me?” I ask.
She smiles. “That and the fact he had this look in his eyes when he asked for you.”
“What look?” I roll my eyes, wishing this antiquated piece of equipment would hurry.
“I don’t know how to explain it. He actually looked me in the eyes.” She purses her lips, her head dipping to the cleavage busting out of her shirt, seeming confused why it didn’t work on Jasper.
The machine finally finishes and I pat her on the shoulder. “Don’t think too hard, otherwise you’ll lose those brain cells.”
She says nothing, still trying to figure out why her secret weapon didn’t work for her.
I walk back through the curtain to find Jasper is now shirtless, lying on his back with his phone in his hands raised above his head.
Seriously, this man is temptation with a capital T.
“Making yourself comfortable?” I ask.
He peers at me through the opening of his arms, placing the phone down by his side. “I assumed you’d tattoo my chest or back.”
“You assumed wrong, making you an ass. So drop the pants and bend over.” I busy myself grabbing all the supplies.
“What?”
“I doubt you want a big old rooster with a unicorn horn on its head on your pec. I’m throwing you a bone by putting it on your ass.”
I keep my voice even, which is hard with the expression on his face. I turn back around to ready my supplies and a thud hits the floor. I peer over my shoulder to find his jeans in a pile at his feet and one side of his boxers exposing an ass cheek.
“Can you do my right? Because you know I’m going to want to spoon you tonight.” He winks and if I wasn’t so speechless at the sight of his perfect ass, I’d have a comeback.
“Pull them up, hop on the table again and give me the inside of your bicep.”
I wash my hands and put my gloves on while he does as I direct. Sitting down, I roll over to the table he’s on and wash the surface. “You’re sure?” I ask and he nods, not a worry line etched on his face.
