Single Dads, Big Hearts, page 14
“Well,” the redhead says.
“How old are you?” I ask, still upset they think I could be someone’s mother.
“Twenty,” blondie says.
Okay, so six years. Whatever.
“I’m only a little older than you. Definitely not old enough to have a six-year-old.”
Then I calculate the math in my head. Fuck me. I am old enough to be his mother. When the hell did that happen?
“Oh, sorry,” the redhead says, hitting the blonde’s arm.
I finish my coffee, place it on the table and turn my attention to the TV in the waiting area. Ah, good ol’ Maury Povich.
“I can’t believe this is still on.” I chuckle to myself. “‘You are not the father,’” I say in a deep voice.
The two young girls stare over at me like I’m a crazy person and yes, I’ve just confirmed to them that I am in fact old. At least to them.
So I remain quiet. A few minutes later, a tall woman with a ponytail and camp t-shirt walks in the room.
“Robin, Carrie. Let’s go. Brady’s dad will take it from here.” She exits the waiting area without waiting for them.
The blonde stops beside me before she leaves. “We’re really sorry. Brady is so great and we never wanted to see him hurt. I hope he’s okay.” She puts her head down and walks out of the hospital.
“Thanks,” I call out, unsure if she heard me.
Poor girl, but at least she’s escaping before she has to face Brady’s father.
Father.
Dad.
Jasper is someone’s daddy.
I still can’t believe it.
By the time Jasper comes into the waiting area my ass is numb, my back aches and my legs are stiff. I’m cracking my neck and back, stretching out, trying to relieve some of the tension in my muscles.
“Man, what a view. Is this what I was missing?” he says, right as I arch my back, sticking my tits out.
It’s nice to see a smile on his face again.
I stand and he grabs my hand. “How is he?” I ask.
He squeezes my hand. “Good. Broken arm, but thankfully no surgery or resetting is needed. He’s in the cast for six weeks, though.” He huffs out a breath. “Here I thought he’d be at camp for a few more weeks enjoying himself, but he’s coming home with me.”
“Well, I’m glad he’s okay.” I hug Jasper to my body.
“Thanks for being understanding,” he says, running a hand along my back and kissing my neck. Shivers shouldn’t race up my neck in this setting, but they do.
He draws back and he’s back to serious Jasper. “So it’s time you meet him. They’re putting together his discharge papers. We can stay at the cabin tonight and then talk. If you want to go back to the city tomorrow, I understand.”
I nod, not giving him an answer because I have no idea what I want to do. I still need a lot of answers and truthfully, I don’t even know what he expects from me. He said himself he’s never introduced Brady to someone he’s seeing. For all I know he’s dreading this meeting as much if not more than I am.
“Let’s go. He’s excited.” He smiles and it seems genuine.
My tummy twists into a million tiny knots before combining into one giant ball that sits in the pit of my stomach.
I follow him down the hallway and I take the last breath I have before his son becomes a real live person to me. One who can and will judge me. Usually that’s not something I give much thought to, but I find myself wanting to make a good impression on Jasper’s son.
I step in to find a smiling boy with Jasper’s hazel eyes and a head of moppy brown hair. His arm cast is green. Go figure.
“Hi, I’m Brady,” he introduces himself, sliding over the bed as though he’s making room for me. “Will you be the first to sign my cast?” he asks and my gaze darts to Jasper for a second. He shoots me a look of apology and that only endears Brady to me more.
“Well, yeah, that means I’m number one, right?”
Brady smiles at me like I hung the moon in the sky and I know I’m in deep trouble with this little boy, the same as when I first met his father—if not more.
Chapter Nineteen
Something Jasper forgot to mention was that Brady never shuts up. Okay, I should’ve put that more nicely. Let’s just say he’s expressive and he has a lot to talk about. Is that more appropriate?
Luckily, he’s fast asleep in the guest room and I’m sitting with Jasper on the steps of the cabin.
“I was just finishing up my master’s when Gina got pregnant.”
Jasper and Gina. Damn, those two names sound good together. Way better than Jasper and Lennon.
I say nothing and wrap my arms around my legs, then rest my cheek on my knees, watching him and waiting for him to continue.
“She wasn’t ready to be a mom. Truthfully, I don’t even know if she’d have ever been ready.” He looks away from me and out to the forest in front of us.
I remain quiet and he slides closer to me. The heat from his thigh seeping through his jeans warms my bare leg. I want to place my hand on his thigh but I don’t.
“She wanted to abort and at first I did the whole ‘it’s your body’ thing, but the closer it got to the day, the more I wasn’t okay with it. The night before she was supposed to have the abortion, I had a law student friend draw up some papers for her to sign. I paid her throughout the pregnancy, and paid her to sign over her parental rights.” He turns his head and stares up at the window that houses his sleeping child. “That stays between us. I’d prefer it if Brady never found that out.”
I nod. “Of course.”
“So I ended up marrying her for a short time so insurance would cover the pregnancy, because although I was making decent money, I couldn’t afford medical bills like that.”
“Oh.” Now I sound like his father.
“We divorced right after her post-care was done. She left town and I send her pictures and letters giving her updates, but half the time they get returned. Sometimes it’s months before she gets in touch and tells me she’s moved to a different state again. She has no desire to see him or know him.” His voice cracks and I put my arm around his shoulder.
“I’m sorry.”
He shakes off my apology. “It’s her loss.” He turns to face me, my arm falling off his shoulders. “I know you just met him today, but he’s so caring and funny. I’m sure every father thinks his kid is the best. I’d hate to meet a bastard who didn’t.”
I divert my eyes because I’m not sure my parents ever thought that of me. Maybe Jacob, but Lennon was the crazy one who wouldn’t sit still and was always causing them trouble.
“He does seem great. Talkative, but adorable.” I laugh and he nods, knowing, I think, that Brady would never be able to chew gum because he’d never shut his mouth long enough to taste the flavor. I realize that he reminds me of myself in that way, even now.
“I never meant to put you in this situation. You’ve been thrust into it without warning and now we have to make a decision.”
My heart plummets to the depth of my stomach. Decision?
He takes my hands in his and I mentally prepare myself that this is it. He’s going to break up with me and choose his kid. Which I could never fault him for.
“I’ve enjoyed our time together.” His voice is so low I almost can’t hear him over the leaves rustling in the wind.
I pull my hands from his and slide over. His forehead wrinkles. “It’s okay, Jasper. You owe me no explanation. It’s been a great three weeks and I’ll always remember them, but I understand. Really.” I move to stand, but Jasper cages me between him and a giant log post holding up the porch.
“What do you mean?” he asks.
“I get it, okay? We were having fun and you don’t like to mix the two, but now that Brady met me, you’re kind of stuck. I’m giving you the out you’re looking for.” I say the words out loud even though they’re making me feel physically sick. I guess I didn’t realize how much I wanted to stick around until Jasper was letting me go.
He stares at me long and hard, while my heart hammers against my chest so loud it could be part of a drum line.
“Lennon.” He says my name slowly. “Do you remember this afternoon? Before I got the call?” His voice is low and holds that confidence I’ve admired from the first moment I met him.
I nod.
“Did I rip off your clothes?”
“No.”
“Did I bend you over a table, pull my cock out and fuck you until you couldn’t take anymore?”
“No.”
“Did I push you against the glass window, spread-eagle, demanding you tell me how much you want me?”
“No.”
All those scenarios sound nice though and now wetness pools between my legs.
“Was I gentle and loving? Did I caress your skin and tell you how beautiful you are?”
A rush of heat rises to my cheeks thinking about our time together this afternoon.
He cocks an eyebrow.
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Do you think I would do that if I was ‘just having fun with you?’” He uses air quotes for my phrase.
I look away, but he places his forefinger under my chin, forcing me to look at him.
“Maybe,” I say and a small smile plays on his lips.
“Lennon?”
I blow out a breath. “No, I suppose not.”
A full-wattage smile emerges and his hand moves up and pushes back the hair from my eyes. “So I think we can agree, I’m in this.”
I shrug.
“Lennon.” Again with the stern voice. Must be a dad thing.
“Yes?”
He kisses the tip of my nose. Damn him, why does that always get to me? “I need to know if you’re in this. I need to forge a plan.”
“A plan?”
“I’m in uncharted territory. Brady’s never had to compete for my attention. He’s never known what it’s like for me to have a woman around. And you don’t really seem like the kid type. No offense.”
“Okay,” I say, slightly offended that he thinks I can’t handle a child even if I’ve been questioning my own ability all day.
“I just meant tha—”
I hold my hand up in the air. I get what he means—I’m irresponsible, I have my head in the clouds, I’m never serious about anything. Whereas he has a mouth to feed, a roof to put over that little guy’s head. He has to be responsible. He has someone relying on him. I don’t even have a fish to feed.
If I don’t go grocery shopping, it’s only me who will starve to death. I don’t have to make sure I eat from all sections of the food pyramid to ensure I’m healthy. The only time I drink milk is in my coffee. I’m way out of my league here.
I realize all this and then I look at Jasper and the thought of us breaking up turns the fissures around my heart into full-on cracks. “I don’t want to break up, Jasper, but like you said, I have no idea what to do with a six-year-old.”
“I’m not looking for a mother for Brady, but I need you to commit somewhat.” He looks at me and I can’t help but feel he’s offended that I haven’t hopped on board the happy family train yet.
“What if I lose him? Or what if I say a bad word? I mean I do have the mouth of a truck driver.” I stand to get away from the fears pushing their way into my psyche.
“I don’t expect you to pick him up from school, or feed him. And believe me, Brady knows all the bad words. He has me as a father.” He says that like he’s not the most perfect dad when I know he is. He must be. Just look what he’s doing here. Vetting me to make sure I won’t put his son’s heart at risk.
I look back at him on the stairs of the cabin, his elbows resting on his knees, his hair a dishevelled mess, eyeing me and waiting for my decision.
I look through one of the cracks in my heart searching for the answer. I’m quiet for a long time before the answer comes from within and it feels right. It feels right in my gut and I’ve always been the kind of girl who goes with her gut and I’ve never regretted it. I’m not about to change that now.
“Okay,” I say softly.
Jasper arches his eyebrows. “Are you sure, Lennon? You have to be sure.”
“Yeah.” I stare up at the star-filled sky. “I mean, I was a kid once. I’m sure I can channel that energy.” I nod my head a couple times, convincing myself. “I’m a good aunt… I think.” I shrug.
“I don’t think you have too far to go,” he jokes and pushes himself off the steps and walks toward me. His footsteps crumble the gravel under his weight and his arms wrap around me.
“Positive?” he clarifies.
I smile, becoming more convinced that I got this. People might doubt me, but I’m an adult and surely I can act like one and be a good influence.
“Positive.”
He smiles and dips his head, giving me his goodbye kiss, except this time I’m not going anywhere. I guess I need to change the name of this kiss.
But to what?
It comes to me as Jasper’s hands leave my cheeks. This kiss doesn’t feel like a goodbye. It feels like a beginning.
A beginning kiss.
The beginning of what? I can’t be sure.
Chapter Twenty
I wake up to a small lump next to me in bed.
“Ah!” I scream, sliding out from under the covers and onto the floor. “Jasper!” I whisper-yell, but he doesn’t come.
Prepared for an animal of some kind that’s joined me from the great outdoors ten feet away from the cabin, I look around the room for something to protect myself with. But there’s nothing, so I try to tiptoe out of the room.
One of the floorboards creaks under my foot when I’m almost at the door and I whip my head around. The lump in the bed moves side to side and a scratching sound echoes throughout the quiet room.
My eyes widen and I stay focused on the lump while I walk slowly backwards until I reach the door frame. I turn the knob and slide through the opening, carefully closing it behind me. Then I dart down the stairs to find Jasper.
He insisted we sleep separately last night since he wasn’t sure how Brady would react to the two of us in bed together. He wants to take things slow between the two of us. And that was fine—last night. Before some wild animal decided to take a catnap in my bed.
I find him sleeping on the couch and I hop on top of him.
“What?” he yells and I cover his mouth, but he sits up straight anyway.
A dreamy lust-filled look enters his eyes and his hands slide up my nightshirt, squeezing my ass. The blanket between us does nothing to hide his morning wood and he grinds into me.
Now usually I’m a morning girl. Hell, that’s a lie. I’m a morning, noon and night girl—who am I kidding? But as great as that feels, there’s an animal upstairs.
He moves his face and my hand slides off his mouth.
“What do you say we go to the bathroom for a quickie before Brady gets up?” he whispers and I crawl off him.
“There’s an animal in my bed,” I say and his eyes widen.
“Animal?” he asks.
I nod. “Yes. And I heard scratching so it must have claws. I almost woke it up.”
Jasper’s eyes narrow and he looks toward the stairs leading to the bedrooms with an ‘are you serious’ expression.
“I’m serious. Come on.” I wave my hand in the air and he stands up, his red boxers tenting from his erection.
I cover my eyes. “Put your pants on,” I say, shaking my head.
He walks over to me and removes my hands from my eyes. “You’ve seen my cock before. In fact, if memory serves you quite like seeing it,” he reminds me.
I shake my head. “Well, Brady doesn’t need to see it.”
“Sorry, babe, he’s seen it.”
I glance down at it again. “Really?”
He nods, sliding on his pants. “Never like this though. I’m not ready for that conversation.” He chuckles and begins walking toward the stairs.
“You can’t go empty-handed,” I squeal and he stops, turning back around.
I glance around. Bingo. I grab the poker from the fireplace and run it over to Jasper like it’s a hot potato, letting go and backing away from it the instant he has it in his hands.
He rolls his eyes and climbs the stairs as I tiptoe behind him, hanging onto the waistband of his pants.
“You have to be quiet, it could be on the other side of the door,” I whisper when we reach the landing and he nods, but I can tell he’s not taking this situation as seriously as I am.
He throws the door open, the knob hitting the wall behind it, and I scream and jump on his back.
“It’s gone!” I yell, my legs around his waist, my arms probably strangling him.
Jasper steps into the room, ignoring the fact that I’m acting like a koala bear on his back. A koala bear on crack. He flips open the covers and—there’s nothing there.
For some reason my response is to try to climb higher up on his back.
“Quit kicking me.” He stops my foot from kicking his stomach.
“It could be under the bed,” I whisper-yell.
He stalks toward the bathroom instead.
“What are you doing? Look under the bed. I bet it’s under there.” I smack his bare shoulder and he shakes his head.
The bathroom door is open and I hear water on and then the scratching sound again, so I tense on his back. “Oh. My. God,” I say, my flight response seconds from kicking in.
He steps into the doorway of the bathroom and there’s Brady, standing in front of the toilet, peeing with his Spiderman boxers at his ankles, all the while scratching his cast.
I hop off Jasper’s back then turn around and cover my eyes. Two penis sightings in one morning. What have I gotten myself into?
Jasper laughs as a very sleepy Brady flushes the toilet and then walks past him. “Morning, Dad,” he says and crawls into bed.
He throws the covers over himself, burrowing himself in my bed.
I run out of the room and Jasper follows, shutting the door behind him.
“Sorry,” I say, cringing.
