Paddy Nemesis, page 5
- Hey gorgeous
If Paula felt patronised by that comment, she didn’t pay any attention to it; she was busy sticking a couple of straws through the ice to get to her drink. Jackie raised one of her well plucked eye brows, not taking her eyes of the straws in her drink. Well at least I picked the cleverer one of the two.
- Joe, this is Jackie,
Handshake, and an all too familiar lean forward for a kiss on the cheek, which she did with relative style, ensuring that her lips and cleavage were pretty much kept away from Joe. As she turned, she looked at me for just a few seconds more and as Joe leaned over to shake Paula's hand, I gave a wry smile back to Jackie. Things seemed to be going in the right direction at the moment. Joe made some funny-ass comment about Jack and Jackie, something about what were the chances and how funny it was. He looked at us both; we weren't laughing.
- Take it eashy
- Shall we head on somewhere else? This place is draining me. Need to be around people who don’t take recreational drugs to feel something that’s the opposite of numb.
Joe was trying to sound all mature and respectful, funny really, as he occasionally supplied me with a bit of gear. I looked over Jackie’s head at him, shook my head ever so slightly. He shrugged his shoulders in return. The place was getting packed out; it made me feel a tad itchy, trying to read the emotion on the face of every single person in there. Concerned about what they were thinking, what they were carrying, who posed a danger, who I could put on the ground without much hassle. The groups of friends who would inevitably intervene, the exit, fucking Jackie. Trying not to think about gouging the barman’s eyes out if he stared at Jackie’s tits again.
- Fuck it, come on girls, let’s do like the fella says and make like a tree and leaf.
I thought they would tell us to fuck off, thought they would stay here as they had a good seat by the bar and were attracting more men than a free porno mag. Even though I wasn’t looking too bad, my mind was still on other things and I couldn’t seem to get tomorrow out of my head. I was sure as hell that it wasn’t just me feeling this vibe. Jackie must have been able to sense it, the way Joe was looking at me with a bit of a clueless expression, like I wasn’t in on his little game. But the girls looked at each other, a few words were uttered. Jackie nodded her head, downed her drink, got a little compact mirror out of her handbag, checked her face, which looked stunning anyway and turned to face me, holding out her right hand for me to take. She grabbed her cream single breasted jacket off the stool and swung it round her in one swift motion and did it up with the other hand. Paula said something to Joe, and he got her handbag as she rotated herself off the chair and took the bag off him.
So with that, after less than half an hour in Q Bar, we were back out on the Quays. The pavements were glistening. Cars drove past, splashing through the puddles. Car horns sounded on the other side of the river. A bus travelled slowly past us, windows steamed up, the passengers looking helpless and trapped in their own worlds. The cold air off the Liffey draws Jackie in closer to me, as she side-stepped some young one sitting on a flattened out cardboard box. A little notice written in black lay on her lap, asking for a little change as she was homeless. A styrofoam cup, not even half full of small change, was in her left hand. Her arms were covered in bruises, some fading, some brand new. The tracks on her arms were unmistakable, and from the size of her stomach, I’d say she was about five months gone. She looked up at me, milk white complexion, mixed with acne and a nice little shiner around her right eye. Her hair was jet black, and matted down from the rain and the lack of a good wash.
Then the universal homeless mantra
- Spare some change?
We pretended like we don’t hear, and carried on up into Temple Bar. After we’d covered enough distance, I turned round to look back at her, but she was gone, eaten up by the streets. Floating down the Liffey, I looked back at Jackie, smiled. Then over her head, I got Joe’s attention:
- Where do you fancy?
- It’s all going to be jammers in Temple Bar. Lets get a cab and head up to Whelans. You girls ok with that?
- Fine with us, said Jackie.
- Yeah sure, whatever.
- What time is it?
- 10.
- Well, we sure ain’t gonna get a cab.
Jackie just looked at me, winked, freed herself from me, walked over to the kerb, undoing her jacket at the same time. Stuck her arm out for a taxi even though none of the ones driving past had their lights on. In no time at all, a cab put its light on and pulls over. She leant in the passenger window, giving the driver an eyeful and then the three of us climbed in after her, much to the annoyance of the driver. I sat up front with the driver and I sent Joe a text saying not to mention work and that we just became drinking buddies, you know the craic. Not long after it was sent as I was about to put my phone in my pocket I get a reply saying "But of coursh". I replied back with "shipsh that pash in the night" and pocketed the phone and engaged the cab driver in an intellectual conversation about start and completion time in his line of work and if his business had been slowly progressive or manic street preacher. He told me he'd started an hour ago and it's been fucking manic. He adjusted his rearview mirror, I looked round to see why and Paula was slouched down in the middle between Joe and Jackie both looking out their windows like it was a cab home from a night out rather than the start of the night. I looked at the driver
- Any reason why you adjusted the mirror to look up my friends skirt?
Emergency brakes applied. Blasts of car horns
Camden Street I think
- Get the fuck out of my cab youse bunch of cunts
I was about to take a swing at him but Joe shouted my name and grabbed at my hand. Jackie called the driver a "fucking prick" and Paula called him. "Perv" and did his wife know what he was at.
- You can fuck off if you think I'm going to pay, pal.
With that I slammed the door shut so hard, I thought the window would have cracked. As we were all left in the middle of the road, the driver drove off and Joe booted the car.
We got onto the pavement and laughed, Joe still had a hold of my clenched fist and I nodded to him that I was ok and we walked all of 50 yards into Whelans.
Whelans was pretty much what I expected, rammed, but it was rammed full of Irish people. The music was good, some band over from Manchester, and the pint wasn't too bad. We all smoked, so we spent most of the time up on the roof, where most of the clientele appeared to be. Jackie told me she worked as a store manager in Dunnes, and lived near
Vicar Street in a new apartment. She misses home as she was from Drogheda. I told her it was only up the road, but she went, ah you know, when you’re away from home, you just miss it no matter how close you are. I didn’t agree with her. In fact, apart from telling her my name, everything else was a lie.
I told her I worked as an investigator for an insurance company which dealt in those "no win, no fee" cases. I told her I lived in Swords. I told her my Da was still alive, I told her I was happy. I shocked myself at how easy it was to pull the wool over somebody’s eyes. They wanted to believe in you so much; they had no reason not to. You could tell them you was a fucking biscuit designer. Oh yeah, I invented the Hob Nob....really. This went on and on; we got closer and closer. Any time another drink was bought, we went together to buy them. We kissed at the bar. When one of us went to the toilet, we kissed as if we wouldn’t see each other again. When I was in going for a piss, some fella was banging on the cubicle door and shouted "are you having a baby in there?" Made me laugh, and I remembered what laughing was. Joe and Paula were just as bad, but he actually liked Paula, he told me in a text. I can add that to the list of text messages he has sent me in the past telling me he likes a girl. This whole thing I'm doing? It was a monumental fucking lie. Just to ensure I could get inside Jackie later.
We snuck off around two; we couldn’t find Joe or Paula anywhere. After all the begging to see me, all the fuss he’d made, we didn’t even get to speak to each other for more than 30 seconds. I shook my head at the pointlessness of it. He just wanted the same thing as I did, and used me as an excuse or a springboard to get it. God, we were a fucking pair.
We got out onto the street where the rain was coming down heavier, making everything shine.
It wasn’t that cold, but Jackie molded into me, and it actually felt nice, no bullshit. It was nice to know that I was liked. I needed to be held, but the funny thing was, like Tourettes, I wanted to shout out "I kill people, I nearly killed someone earlier. I take drugs, I'm going to kill the men who killed my father, I'm a fucking mess. I'm a fucking liar.” But no, I put all those truths aside, perpetuated the lie and held Jackie as we crossed the road.
- Do you fancy something to eat?
- Yeah, I wouldn’t mind. What do you fancy?
- Eddie Rockets, it's only just up there.
- Yeah ok. Let’s have a smoke first before we head in.
So we pulled into a doorway out of the rain, watching the world pass by, groups of lads, groups of girls, shouting at each other, laughing together. Cabs speeding past, heels clicking down the road, umbrellas being used to cover too many people and left shoulders getting wet, people laughing. This was my city, my streets, what I would look upon as a normal Thursday night. Normal compared to what I was used to.
No blood or guts or gore or shooting. What I was part of tonight was abnormality in a normal world. A fucked up warped view.
Jackie handed me a Silk Cut Blue and cupped her hand round the lighter, introducing the fire to the tobacco. I pulled the fag away and leaned in to kiss Jackie. There was nothing romantic about it, but it was wet and deep. I started off slowly, and she got her right arm round me pulling me in closer to her and we part lips and tap foreheads together, smiling.
- What was that for?
- Dunno, just fancied doing it. You don’t mind, do you?
- No, not at all, was nice. Let’s smoke this, get something to eat and come back to mine?
Bingo.
- You sure?
– Yeah, I am actually, but don’t go on about it ‘cause I’ll end up changing my mind and I don’t want to.
I kissed her again and smoked as quick as I could, got to Eddie Rockets, and had to keep my fists clenched and in my pockets when the doorman let his eyes linger too long on Jackie. He clocked who I was. Looked away and spoke quickly to another colleague. I kept my eyes on them as we walked in.
- You ok?
- Sorry?
- You ok?
- Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Sorry, I swear I know that fella on the door from somewhere, can’t picture where.
Another lie, I knew exactly who he was. He used to be my dealer, Dave Clayton. He never made the front cover of the Sunday World which was his one and only goal and I used him for information on where he got his gear from. It was far too good and clean for the streets he dealt on. It was one of my first jobs when I got down to Dublin and I had fucked up by letting him come to my old house in Artane, the bollocking I got from Daly was near enough to send me back to Boyle. Clayton found out where I worked, but not what I did there, so I showed him a picture of his family and an address, which bought his silence. Whoever said knowledge is power was one clever bastard. But here in Eddie Rocketts, I was trapped. I didn’t really fancy showing Jackie my true colours and Dave had obviously disclosed his information to the other doorman. I was pissed off at myself for not knowing who he was, I hadn’t recognise him at all and it didn’t scare me; it was merely a slight annoyance. It was too public to do anything, and I had just pulled. I didn’t have anything on me and the shop was full of CCTV.
I concentrated on Jackie for a couple of minutes, ordered a portion of cheesy chips and a large coke and suggested a booth at the back to sit in. Jackie walked ahead of me, which gave me time to think of a solution to the problem. As I sat down next to Jackie, facing the whole shop, viewing everyone and everything, Jackie grabbed my leg, twisted me round and we kissed. She had some mayo on her nose, which I kissed off. She reciprocated by putting my hand on her leg, a bit further up. She smiled and we kissed again, then began to eat. I needed to make a phone call, so made an excuse and said I needed to use the loo, wished I had gone before I left. She asked me to not be long and then looked in the area of my crotch and made some kind of lame purring noise. Christ sake, this was just prolonging the inevitable and I had had my fill of clichés for the day.
I smiled back, and thought to myself, woh woh woh sweet child of mine, like that was inappropriate; it was only supposed to be me who comes out with the lewd comments and suggestions. At least I know I’ll be getting something. But, before any of that materialised, I had to sort out the problem with Clayton and his mate, still outside, both on their phones. Could mean everything, could mean nothing. So I headed into the toilet, getting my phone out and calling the boss, who slept less than I did. I relayed the whole story to him. I wasn’t that drunk; I was tired and the speed had finally worn off, so even for this time in the morning, I was pretty coherent.
He was actually less angry than I thought he would be, and only called me a fucking stupid cunt about five times. Warned me this was the last time, blah, blah, blah. I might have been a liability, but I was too valuable a commodity to let have the shit kicked out of me or worse, plus, I was signed off on this mission. So I could have asked for anything, got the same response but still ended up with whatever I wanted. So begrudgingly, he agreed to help out. I sat back down, kissed Jackie, gave her a hug, ate my chips and drank my coke.
There was a commotion outside, looked like a fight and Clayton's back was pushed into the window and I thought it would cave in, the sound it made, Jackie looked frightened, so I held her.
- We'll stay here for a bit longer.
Then I saw the flashing blue lights and high-viz jackets, my saviours. Things went a bit quiet, I didn’t mind the silence, or as much silence as you can get in a chipper after kicking out time, but we just sat and ate; Jackie's head leaning on my shoulder, as we watched Clayton getting bundled into the back of a meat wagon.
- What do you wanna do now?
- Take me home?
- C'mon, let’s go.
We walked back down to
Dame Street and up towards Christchurch; grabbing flesh, kissing, biting like carnivores but too afraid to draw blood. I pulled at her hair, just to gauge a reaction; she gasped, a little bit of a surprise, a little turned on, a little smile. She put her hand under my shirt as we walked, up to the base of my neck and clawed her nails down my back, like a pissed off teacher would a blackboard, to shut her class up. It stung, it pulled my shoulders in to meet in the middle. Fucking bitch, that really fucking hurt.
So I grabbed her and pulled her towards me and we kissed like vampires, my teeth knocked against hers, tongues, saliva, drawing each other in, like our lives depended on it. I liked to think that I was just a horny fucker and I was doing it cause I can. My cock was pressing against my trousers and digging into Jackie's thigh. She grabbed me through my jeans, again a bit too much and it hurt again, but I wasn’t that concerned. I knew where this was going. Some idiot said loud enough for me to hear – “get a room”, which was handy as we were just next to Jury’s. But, I didn’t fancy forking out €100 when all I wanted was a fuck, and to get back to me bed for at least an hour’s sleep before the first train up tomorrow. It flew in the face of what I wanted to do earlier, but sense grabbed me by the throat. Didn’t fancy sneaking out of the hotel room early, or having to make a million and one excuses if she woke.
We crossed the road, her hand in mine and snuck in round the back of the church, the rain insistent on not letting up. Round the back of the church were these alcoves where you didn’t get soaked from the rain, but you could hear it pounding the roof and the cement. She didn’t need to ask what my intentions were. She had a fair idea, as she was smiling and told me it had been a while since she'd done something like this. I didn’t wanna tell her that 48 hours ago, I was round here with another young one from Tallafornia, who was on at the time and pulled a tube of K Y jelly from her handbag.
Jackie leant back against the wall and pulled me into her, before I had time to say "a funny thing happened here the other day.” She bit my lower lip, kissed me deep and tried to open my belt, but had a wee bit of difficulty.
- Shall I do it?
Whisper
- Get my fucking knickers off.
So I went down on my knees, in the gravel, hands up her skirt, feeling her fleshy thighs like a blind man feels Braille. It felt like she was wearing a thong, and she was wet already, I fingered her as I pushed her knickers aside, three fingers in, and I thought - you dirty bitch - in as deep as I could go. And I started to kiss where I imagined her clit would be. There were the expected gasps. I couldn’t care less if they were fake or not. I rolled her knickers down and she stepped out of them, I put them in my pocket, stood up and we shared my fingers, sucking them deep. She was at my belt again and succeeded in undoing it and then unbuttoned my flies. I was already hard, and she grabbed me really fucking hard, and her pupils dilated and she went down on her knees. taking me in her mouth. I looked around me to make sure nobody was looking and kept busy concentrating on the rain, so as not to come too quickly.
- I wanna be inside you.
With that she stood back up, grabbed me again and kissed me. I thought, my cock has just been in your mouth, this isn’t very nice now. She pulled me closer and I had to do some weird technique thing where I crouched a little bit to go under her, her legs parted but I couldn’t get in to her. It kept pushing upwards, past her waxed pubic region, and stood between our bellies. This went on a few times and we were both getting frustrated. She guided me in once, but I came out again a few seconds later. Afterwards, once I was finally in, we both gasped, in relief more than anything else. It was nice to feel her warm and wet. About a minute later I came out again, I said
