Black Diamond Heart, page 11
His honesty made her want to confess something of her own. Could she do it? Right now, in this pocket of time where nothing was pulling them apart?
“You make me feel safer than I’ve ever felt. With you…” Her voice cracked, and she swallowed to allow the rest out. “I’m not afraid to exist.”
His expression flickered, softening and then going hard with determination. He reached forward, brushing the back of his fingers over her cheek. His touch was so tender, it stole the breath from her chest.
“You will always be safe with me, Skye,” he rasped. “I’ve made sure of it.”
But something about his words struck her funny.
“What does that mean?”
Felix pulled back his hand, his expression shuttering like he’d pulled the strings on the blinds that kept her from his whole truth.
He reached into his pocket, retrieving a folded piece of paper, and her wariness drifted away like a forgotten dream.
“Is that for me?”
He nodded. “Don’t read it yet though. Wait until you’re in bed.”
“Okay.” She couldn’t help the way her lips lifted. She was becoming addicted to his little gestures. “I really like these.” Maybe she shouldn’t have said it, but she wanted him to know. And she couldn’t—wouldn’t—keep editing herself.
He stood, his expression looking pleased. It reminded her of when she’d organized his closet so long ago. At first, he’d scowled, demanding to know why. When she answered that she liked organizing things and his closet needed it, his face had smoothed into satisfaction.
Reaching down, he helped Skye to her feet.
“I’ll keep doing it then,” he rumbled. “And you keep giving me what I want to know.”
That reminded her. “Did you try the cookies?”
He nodded, dropping her hand when she wanted to keep holding his. “Delicate fucking things, aren’t they?”
She giggled and he blinked like he was surprised. “They’re not everyone’s cuppa tea.”
“I suppose not. But they’re just the kind of thing I’d expect you to like.”
She shrugged, taking one last look over the city. “I had them once at a fancy restaurant when I—” She didn’t want to finish that sentence. Didn’t want to taint their happy exchange by referring to her past. But the only time she’d experienced life was while she was on a date. So it was the only reference she had. Date. What a funny word. She’d never had a real one. One with someone she liked. Someone who treated her nice. She wouldn’t even know what to do on a date like that.
Was there nothing Bastian hadn’t ruined?
Felix must’ve known how her sentence was going to end because his expression went all intense again. Protective almost, if she was reading him right.
“You can say it,” he said.
She shook her head.
“I can take it.” His voice was rough like a callous.
“Maybe so,” she said, wanting to believe it. “I just hate that everything that makes me, me is tinged by what I did to survive. Even my favorite cookie…” Her voice faded until it was only a breath.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, gripping her chin between two fingers and forcing her eyes up to his before pulling his hand away. “None of that fucking matters now, corazon. Finish what you were saying.”
She swallowed hard, drawing courage from him. “I first had them at a fancy restaurant. They tasted like little clouds of sugar. I’d never had such a treat before and vowed to learn how to make them one day. And with Betty Blue’s help, whipping the meringue was a cinch—”
“Betty Blue?”
“It’s what I named the mixer.”
He blinked, the side of his mouth lifting in a smirk. “You named it?”
She nodded. “Anyway. Mine turned out dang near as good as the restaurant’s, even if I do say so myself.”
His gaze felt like a caress along her cheek as he murmured, “They were perfect.”
She grinned. Couldn’t help it. A compliment from him was like butter on a biscuit. Divine. “So you did like them.”
“Yes, but that’s our secret. Understand?” he said firmly. He glanced out over the property below. “Any of the guys find out I like dainty cookies, they’d never let me live it down.”
“My lips are sealed.”
His stare automatically dropped to her mouth, and she had the oddest idea that he wanted to kiss her. But maybe that was just her past trying to creep in again. Kissing. Yet, another thing her time with Bastian had cast a shadow on.
“Good,” Felix said, putting more distance between them. “Now go, corazon. I have things to do.”
“Things to do.”
He nodded, his eyes dancing in a way she hadn’t seen before. Almost… playful.
“Well. I have things to do too.”
He raised an eyebrow and she continued.
“Like prep for breakfast tomorrow and clean the bathroom and… probably other things too. I’m very busy these days.”
She followed him to the stairs and down to the ground.
“Will you watch the sunrise tomorrow?” she asked tentatively.
He turned to face her, frowning now. “Not if you are.”
Ouch. He was giving her whiplash, and he must’ve known it because his eyes softened again. She decided it was her favorite, when he looked at her just like that.
“I have to keep my distance from you.”
“Why?”
He shook his head. “When I figure out how to explain, you’ll be the first to know.”
“I don’t want distance.”
Felix scowled. “Yes, you do.”
“No, I don’t.”
He pushed his shoulders back in that way that made him look broader and badder. “You said you would do as you’re told.”
“I said I would try. And we had a deal. You said you’d explain yourself.”
“Skye, I can’t right now.”
Somehow, she was bold enough to push past him, stopping at the bathroom window. She managed to get her legs through before looking back at him.
“Then I guess you don’t need distance as much as you think you do.”
Ducking inside, she closed the window without looking at him, and then shut the blind.
Her heart thundered as she rushed through her nighttime routine, deciding everything else could wait until tomorrow. Her bed was calling and she was too anxious to read Felix’s note.
After showering, she went to the closet to pull free one of his t-shirts. She frowned when it occurred to her that he hadn’t moved any of his stuff out yet. Maybe he’d been too busy. Tomorrow, she would see if he wanted her to pack up some things for him.
Pulling on his shirt, she grabbed the note off the desk and practically cannonballed into the bed with zero shame. Quickly unfolding the page, she read.
I’m supposed to be watching the sunset and figuring out how to say thank you for the meal you left in my office. But you showed up tonight instead, and I can’t take my eyes off of you. You smiled a little, when you first climbed up. When you first took in the view, before you noticed I was here. You smiled, and I’ve never seen you smile before. So now I’m sitting here watching you watch the sun go down. Watching every change in your expression so I don’t miss your next smile. And you haven’t looked over at me once, otherwise I would have looked away and missed all this. So thanks for that. It’s the best damn time I’ve spent doing anything in ages. I thought you should know. That’s all. Goodnight, my heart.
P.S. What is your favorite color?
Skye reread the words until her eyes blurred with happy tears. Scooting lower in the bed, she pressed the note to her chest, smiling again.
“Goodnight, Felix.”
Chapter Fifteen
She smiled.
Un-fucking believable, it was. One tiny—but powerful—smile was all it took for Felix to know he was handling shit right. The notes were working.
She smiled.
He wondered if she even realized the impact something like that could have on an asshole like him. The fact that he had some small part in making it happen was an epic high. Sure, the sunset might have caused her smile, but he’d told her about the roof. That meant this smile was brought to her in part by him.
Even better, he didn’t have to do anything horrible to make it happen. He’d accomplished this feat from a distance, with his notes and by slowly learning her. All without putting her in dangerous proximity to his bullshit.
Or more importantly, his animal. Once again, he congratulated himself on deciding to seek out the witches’ help.
She smiled. Even laughed once. Goddamn.
Hell, he didn’t even mean for this to happen. Didn’t expect it to.
Fucking gift. Skye’s smile.
The smallest, most fragile thing. He’d pay a thousand suns to see it again.
Everything was going to be okay.
For the first time, he knew it. All he had to do was keep doing right. Keep caring for his female from afar—
“Earth to Felix.” Ratchet’s voice interrupted the replay of his time with Skye on the roof.
They were gathered in the lounge for a clan meeting. He’d skipped breakfast again to avoid Skye. It was necessary, but that didn’t stop him from wondering what she thought of the note he gave her last night. Wondering wasn’t even the right word. He was fucking dying of curiosity.
“Where you at man? Are you hearing any of this?” Ratchet seemed amused, even though the subject of the meeting was anything but funny.
Two of the heavy players were making moves in Memphis. And one of them was Bastian’s former partner.
Raymund fucking Bisset.
Felix cleared his throat, forcing thoughts of Skye from his mind. “Of course I’m hearing it, you dick. What I haven’t heard yet,” he let his voice snap from his throat, “are solutions.”
“There’s really only one,” Skittles said. “We’ve got to hit them hard. Shut ‘em down before they can get rooted.”
Monster nodded. “I say we send a message. Good and clear.”
Felix frowned. “What kind of message?” Monster couldn’t be suggesting something like what they might have done before they were cursed. Their new beasts weren’t that kind of nasty.
Monster looked around at the others, clearly considering his next words carefully. “We could do what we do best.”
Weaver laughed. “What’s that? Should we fuck and drink them out of Memphis?” Some of the other unmated cats laughed.
Monster didn’t. “No, you unsavable asshole. Shit, it’s gonna take an actual fucking angel from heaven to put a Firecat in you.” He shook his head like he was disgusted, and Weaver seemed adequately shamed. Monster turned to Felix. “I’m saying we should think about being heroes again. We know Bisset is hurting females, and it’s in our power to do something about it.”
Heroes. Damn. Was that their specialty now?
“You’re suggesting we raid his stash,” Felix said. “Steal his girls.”
Monster shrugged. “There are less dickhead ways to say it, but yes. We save a few females, and cripple his business. Two birds. One stone.”
Yes. Felix liked this idea. He liked it a helluva lot. So did the other Alley Cats. He could see the wheels turning in the minds of those who hadn’t found mates yet. New females to care for. Now that they knew what was possible, they wanted to fix themselves. He couldn’t blame them.
Felix nodded, thinking it over. “If we do this, we need to have a separate safe house this time. We can’t have people coming in here trying to shoot up the place because they think they can bully us into giving their girls back. We have to protect the mates and young while also giving Bisset’s Dolls a safe haven. That means we do things smart this time.”
The round of nodding that circled the room was nothing short of miraculous. Felix, surrounded by an entire crew of men who actually wanted to protect instead of harm? He couldn’t help wondering if the Sorcera had foreseen this somehow. This change. What the Alley Cats could be instead of the nasty thing they were.
Likewise, he wondered what the Fathers would think of them now.
“I’ll start looking for properties today,” Skittles said.
“Something that can’t be easily breeched,” Weaver added.
Ratchet crossed his arms over his chest as he considered the clan’s next steps. “We’ll get the mates to help figure out what we need to make the new ladies comfortable.”
Smokes nodded. “And Doc Logan and Doc Toya will help out, I bet.” He and Logan Gregory had become friendly after he’d kidnapped the doctor to help Janet when she was sick.
“Good,” Felix said, standing. “Let’s make it happen.” He whistled, to signal the meeting was over and the men went their separate ways.
The urge to find Skye was almost overwhelming. He figured without his animal pushing him to bond, it would be easier to stay away. He was dead wrong about that.
He stared at the kitchen door. She was probably in there cooking up something delicious. He could go in and see her. Just for a moment. See if she looked as content as she did when he watched her on the rooftop. Man, that little smile… it did something terrifying and thrilling to his chest. It burned and cooled, ached and soothed. Similar to when his Firecat came forward, but without the danger.
He closed his eyes, remembering it. The way it rounded her cheeks and formed a small dimple next to her mouth that he wanted to dip his finger in.
Everything was going to be all right. He just had to keep his distance.
With a sigh, he turned for the stairs, taking them two at a time down to the lower level. He pushed into his office and stopped when he noticed the small envelope on the floor. He bent to pick it up, shutting the door behind him before ripping it open. He dropped to the couch, where a pillow and blanket was still rumpled from how he slept the past few nights, and began reading.
I’m really, really glad I interrupted you on the roof last night. Wish you had interrupted me this morning. The sunrise was beautiful over the city. You’re right, the view is perfect from the roof. Also, thank you for the comfy chair you left up there. You’re very thoughtful. My favorite color is yellow. Like the sun!
It was signed at the bottom with a heart and Skye’s name.
A heart. Wow.
Maybe that was just how girls signed off on notes. He didn’t have any experience with this kind of shit. He hoped that’s all it was. Even though that tiny little hand-drawn heart made his chest feel so damn full. He could get addicted to feeling like this. Satisfied beyond what he ever thought he could be.
He leaned his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. He was damn tired. He hadn’t slept a full six hours since returning to the warehouse. Might be easier to sleep if he actually tried a bed. He was supposed to be taking Janet’s old room, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He felt more comfortable, more at home, in his office. Nothing against Janet or Smokes, but it didn’t feel like his space. It was missing one crucial thing.
Skye.
He shrugged off the thought and stretched out his legs, leaving her note to rest on his chest. A few minutes snooze wouldn’t hurt anything.
***
Felix climbed up the wobbly stairs to the rooftop, his small hands, barely able to fully grip the handrails. His body ached from the horrible training session he’d endured earlier. All he wanted to do was sleep and sip the special water Mama Kitty brought him. It had a little sugar in it, and some other things. It felt good going down his throat and it didn’t burn when it landed in his stomach. She always added a straw so he could sip while lying down.
It was nice.
But he’d been summoned.
And when Pops called, you’d be stupid not to come.
At least he’d been summoned to the roof and not the training area again. He didn’t know if he could hold his animal back for another round.
When he finally reached the top, he found his father standing near one corner, looking impatient as always. It was nearly dark, and the blood orange sun setting over Memphis was eerie instead of beautiful.
Felix shivered.
The sun scared him. It was too bright, too vital. Too powerful. The sort of power that couldn’t be controlled. Not even by the Fathers.
“Get over here, boy,” his pops growled.
Felix hurried across the roof as fast as his sore legs would allow him. He didn’t dare look his father in the face. Keep your gaze low, Mama Kitty always warned, and she was right. Pops was always more angry if he tried to look straight at him.
“Took you long enough. What were you doing?”
Felix froze, not sure what to say. His father wouldn’t take any of his real reasons. I had to walk slowly because I’m hurt. Mama Kitty made me finish my water. I was stopped on my way out the front door by another of the brutal males.
“I came as soon as I was told.” Felix gave his answer with as much confidence as he could muster. The stronger he sounded, the better it would go over.
Pops said nothing for too many seconds, and Felix didn’t move a muscle, waiting for whatever came next.
“Look out over the city.” Pops’ voice was hard but quiet.
Felix obeyed, lifting his eyes to see Memphis below. The hot summer sunset was practically bleeding over the city. Like it had been stabbed and it was dying. The sight twisted Felix’s stomach and he swallowed hard. Something that huge and important shouldn’t look like it was dying. Like the darkness was coming to swallow it up as it bled out.
“This will all be yours someday.”
Felix didn’t want it.
“The clan. The city,” his father continued. “It will all be yours when I’m gone.”
He couldn’t imagine his pops ever being gone. He was too much like the sun. No matter how many times he disappeared, he would always return. In some form or another. Always.
Felix felt his father’s eyes turn to him, fear raising all the fine hairs along his skin.
“But first you have to turn much darker. The shadow growing around you isn’t big enough yet.”
