Creatures Here Below, page 7
Her mother’s nails cut into her upper arm. “Come on, Gail, damn it!”
Weak as she was, Gail tried to fight. She twisted her head around and spotted the idling pickup. The man had opened his door. He’d placed a booted foot on the ground, but froze right there, half in, half out of his shaking truck surrounded by the loud music. She kept calling for his help, then shouted, “Get my daddy! Get my daddy! Charlie Wallington! Charlie Wallington in St. Louis.”
The man said nothing. She didn’t know if he’d heard her.
Her mother cuffed her in the mouth.
“You stay out of our business, boy!” Alice shouted.
The pain intensified. The baby was coming. They dragged her up the porch steps. She looked back again for her rescuer. Gone, already.
JACKIE
The October sky had not brightened in the two hours they had spent inside the church to hear Tyler. It was such an even, pale gray that it looked as if the crooked chimneys and flaking shingle rooftops had been set before a blank movie screen. The group headed home. Gail walked quickly with Tyler bouncing next to her, still excited from his solo performance. Burdened with Cole, Jackie and Annie followed far behind. Jackie did not like the looks of the washed-out sky, wondering if it meant rain and what she would wear that night if it did.
Beside her, Annie began limping. Jackie heard a quick, soft gasp slip from the old woman. She could tell from Annie’s face that the old woman was in pain.
“What’s wrong, Miss Annie? Your leg?” Jackie asked.
Annie bit at her lower lip. She shook her head, Jackie’s only evidence that she had been heard. Annie stared down the street, past the backs of Gail and Tyler a block ahead, as if trying to gauge the remaining distance against her ability to cover it.
Cole began wailing as if he’d fallen on his head again. He had been whining since the end of service, but now started up a prolonged screeching. Jackie forgot all about Miss Annie’s struggles right next to her. She spoke sharply to the baby boy and held him away from her so his tears and strings of spittle would not soak her dress.
“I’m going to leave you right here at the curb for the garbage men, boy.”
The crying continued unabated at a pitch that knifed right into her. He’d practiced this kind of marathon crying before. It amazed Jackie that his tiny lungs could sustain the intensity so long. In the beginning, she used to answer his loud summons immediately, feed him, or check to see if he was dry, or touch his forehead to see if he was warm, or just hug him to her while he nuzzled against her as if wanting to return to the womb. Later, she began to think she spoiled him by promptly responding to his beckoning and would wait a few moments before picking him up. Still later, it became a contest, a test of wills. She would attempt to ignore him to see if he would cry himself out. He rarely did.
The other day he’d stood up in his crib crying for all he was worth, his tiny, sand-colored hands grasping the crib slats. Jackie waited in the doorway beyond his sight. When she entered, a pudgy, wet hand reached for her, but she ignored it. She sat in the chair a yard away and eyed him while he bawled and reached between the bars of the crib for his mother. Still she made no move toward him. She observed him in all his red-faced, open-mouthed, infant fury and moved not a muscle. She figured he had to be taught he was not the one in control. Her eyes bored into Cole’s drowning eyes. Jackie sat impassively until she heard Gail’s quick steps approaching, then jumped to pick up the baby. “I pick him up; he wants down. I put him down; he wants back up,” Jackie explained in response to Gail’s frown.
Now, still a couple of blocks from home, he battered her again. His pants were dry. It wasn’t time for feeding. What did he want? What did he want this time? She knew if he didn’t shut up he’d spoil everything. She had gone to Tyler’s debut to get on Gail’s good side. She wanted Gail to sit for Cole again, though the older woman had told her she would not. Also, going to hear Ty sing spared Jackie the ordeal of having to listen to Gail tell her about it fifty to a thousand times. But if Cole didn’t behave there would be no hope of talking Gail into watching him. Her hands pinned the baby’s arms to his sides. He would spoil everything. She very badly needed to see Perry. “Please, shut up, boy,” she said. The sharp screeching filled her head with razor blades. Without a thought, she shook him. His head rocked violently back and forward.
“No, child. No.” Miss Annie had fallen behind, but now hurried forward as best she could despite her pain. She came forward, reaching out with an ancient, knotty hand. “Stop that, girl.”
Cole’s breath momentarily caught in his throat, which made a clucking, choking sound, scaring Jackie. She held him still against her then.
His crying continued with more rage than ever, and even Gail stopped and looked back with her hands on her hips and her wide hat obscuring the top half of her face.
“That ain’t the way,” Miss Annie said, now next to Jackie and placing a hand to the side of the infant’s face. “We told you he was teethin’. That really hurts. Don’t it, Cole?”
“He won’t stop crying,” Jackie said. “He doesn’t mind me.”
“Put your finger in his mouth, honey,” Miss Annie said. “Gentle like. Rub his gums. I used to dip my finger in the sugar bowl for the Buckler babies. Worked sometime if the pain wasn’t too, too bad.”
Jackie let Cole gum a finger. In a few seconds he quieted to a more tolerable whine.
Miss Annie smiled.
“Yeah, but it won’t last,” Jackie said.
Ahead, Gail pivoted about and continued her march home, but Tyler waited on the sidewalk for them to catch up.
“It won’t last,” Jackie said again.
Jackie had let her dark brown hair grow down to her shoulders where the ends curled stiffly inward. The bangs she teased into a frothy nest that obscured her forehead. Her eyes were large, dark, and pretty, and she knew how to look at a man in a way that made him uncomfortable, if she wanted to, as if she saw all of him at once. Before Perry came along, she would flirt with almost any male. She found it a natural way to interact with men; it made a man your friend quickly. Sometimes all it took was a smile, or a look, or leaning close during a conversation.
She was a small woman, a size three, which made her look a few years younger than the twenty she had achieved. People therefore treated her as though she were younger, and more often than not, Jackie acted the part enthusiastically. She had the figure and breasts of a little girl, though the latter swelled some during pregnancy.
She graduated from high school having learned very little and went to a secretarial school for four months. Her first full-time job taught her a bit about computers. It was at the headquarters of a local men’s clothier, Burton and Son’s, and it seemed like a promising job. But her chronic tardiness and then the pregnancy put an end to it. Now she tenuously held on to a data-entry job for a kitchen-supply wholesaler in a windowless office that drove her crazy. The people there acted as if shipping out a case of salt-shakers on time meant life or death. After a long night staying up with Cole, she would track toothpicks, plastic catsup bottles, and literally the kitchen sink on her computer screen while she fought to stay awake. Sometimes she lost the fight and received a nudge in the back by the office manager, who suggested she skip the late-night talk shows and get to bed earlier, and also warned Jackie of the limits of her patience.
The job at Burton had been better. But back then it was the never-ending parties that caused Jackie to show up late. She met Perry there. A business major at Purdue, he interned in the office one summer for college credit. She didn’t like him at first. He was one of those white boys who carried himself as if he knew the world existed for his benefit, and did not hesitate to take advantage of this fact. His first day, he went straight to the coffeepot, picked out a mug (which happened to be Jackie’s), and helped himself. She waited until he’d added the Cremora and stirred in the sugar before taking it away from him just as he brought it to his lips.
“Thanks, but less sugar next time,” she said and walked back to her desk. She’d wanted to see his reaction, but didn’t want him to think her interested enough to even turn around.
The next morning a hot cup of coffee was steaming on her desk when she got in, made just the way she liked. He earned a smile for that.
He had dirty blond-colored hair, which he wore tight on the sides, long on the top, and swept back with a dab more grease than necessary. Still, he managed to look professional at work and wore very crisp shirts and stylish ties with tiny knots.
Jackie did not flirt with Perry. But he invited himself along when a group from the office decided to meet for happy hour. This happy hour became happy evening as Jackie and a couple of her friends lingered while chatting. Perry had stayed too, and after a while he returned and asked Jackie to dance. Jackie looked at the nearly empty dance floor. It was still too early. Only an older, obviously inebriated couple was dancing. She shook her head.
“Hey,” he said and touched her briefly right under the chin to get her to look his way. “I promise I won’t embarrass you.” Holding on to just two of her fingers, he led her to the dance floor.
“Go for the strange, girl,” one of Jackie’s friends called.
She grinned at her friends, allowed herself to be led away, and behind Perry’s back rolled her eyes.
They danced to three songs. He danced well, and they had fun. Jackie must have looked surprised because somewhere in the middle of the second song he said, “What’s the matter? Didn’t you know some white boys have rhythm?”
“Oh? Where?” she answered coolly.
She wondered where Perry must be now. She knew he had finally graduated and must have been back in town for weeks. She put Cole on the floor as she stepped into her bedroom. Her baby seemed to have calmed down now.
“Mama thanks you for stressing her out, boy,” she said. “Go read the newspaper or something.”
Cole looked up at her as if he understood and was mulling over the suggestion. She left him there and went upstairs to Gail’s room.
The big master bedroom at the back of the house was cluttered with newspapers and discarded clothes. The sheets and bedspread lay in a restless twist streaming to the floor. Gail would normally never tolerate this sloppiness, Jackie noted, but did not stop to consider what it might mean. Gail sat on the edge of the bed, one high heel in her hand, and rubbed at calluses on the pads of her right foot. “I could tap dance barefoot,” she said without looking up at Jackie. “It’s like having pebbles in your shoes. And tomorrow Mrs. Hirsch is going to have the entire staff scurrying around to put up Christmas decorations. In October, can you believe that? That’s going to wear these feet out.”
Jackie tried to show interest. “Maybe you should soak them,” she said. “I could get that little tub we used to wash Cole in.”
Gail let her foot slip to the floor then rubbed a hand over her face. Small bags were beginning to form under her eyes. Her face looked puffy and her usually pronounced cheekbones didn’t show so well just now. She picked up the hat she’d worn from beside her on the bed. “What’s a matter with him? Maybe that fall hurt him worse than we thought.”
“No. No, he’s all right. He’s fine now. Just teething.”
“Where’s it coming in at? The top or the bottom?”
“What, the tooth? I don’t know.” Jackie reminded herself not to lose patience. “I mean, I can’t tell. You want that tub?”
Gail looked up at her now with a tired smile on her face.
Jackie did not understand. She thought her landlady would be in a better mood after hearing her son sing. “What do you want, girl? Are you going to be late with the rent again?”
“No,” Jackie answered quickly. “You’ll get the rent.”
“I will, will I?” Gail went to her closet, and stood on tiptoes in order to place the hat on the highest shelf. “Then you must want me to babysit,” she said, facing around again.
“Not for the whole night, Gail. I need to talk to someone. I’m not going out to go out.”
“On a Sunday night, too. Knowing you ain’t going to wake up on time Monday and you won’t be worth nothing all day. That woman warned you about nodding off before, Jackie.”
“I just said I wasn’t going to be out late. He’ll be asleep by the time I leave. You won’t really have to do anything. Come on, Gail. I need to find—there’s someone I need to talk to.”
“Where’s he now? Who’s watching him now?”
“I am,” Jackie shrugged. “He’s in my room.”
Gail shook her head. She reached around to get the zipper at the back of her dress.
Jackie stepped behind her, unhooked the fastener, and zipped the dress down. “Come on, Gail,” she said.
“Where’s all these friends you say you have? Why don’t they ever want to come over and help you out?”
Jackie shrugged again. “They’re always out doing something or another. And I can’t get a hold of them. They have plans. Excuses, you know. Besides,” Jackie added with a smile. “I want to leave the boy with someone I trust to take proper care of him.”
Gail laughed loudly, and said, “Girl, get away from me.”
Jackie did not see what Gail had found funny. “The boy likes you, Gail.”
The older woman made no reply. She stepped out of her dress and laid it across her bed. Jackie stood there anyway, not wanting to give up on her only chance. But Gail moved from bed to bureau, pulling off her earrings and ignoring Jackie’s presence.
“Thanks a lot, Gail,” Jackie finally said. She kicked at an open sheet of newspaper lying near her feet, causing a loud smack. She walked out of the room.
Just outside the bedroom doorway, she heard Gail say, “Well, you know, Miss, you’re very welcome. How many times have I watched that boy of yours and never asked a nickel for it?”
Jackie turned around but did not re-enter the room.
Gail faced her bureau now, her back toward Jackie. They eyed each other’s reflection in the large, unframed mirror above the bureau. “Maybe I have plans. Like your friends, maybe I have something to do. I could take a bath, do something with this hair besides hide it under a hat.” Gail pulled her fingers through her hair, which had been pressed down by her hat. “… Fix my face and go around and see some of my friends, maybe have a drink or two. Maybe I planned to forget everything and do something like that. Would that be wrong?
“What were your plans? Don’t tell me. I’ll guess. Goes like this: You want to go see Cole’s father. He ain’t come by or called, but you know it’s just because he’s a little scared. You want to give him the time he needs, but you still wonder, why doesn’t he come around and see his boy? Might tell him that you don’t want to put any pressure on him, but if he would stop by he might see that things could work out. Am I close?
“Then you got to ask him for a little money. After all, the boy is his too. And don’t worry, Jackie, he’ll give you some money. For a while at least, helps absolve them of all these guilty feelings they have. Lets them tell themselves they are handling the situation.
“How was my guess? I know you look down your nose at me, Miss, but all the time you’re running around like your backside is on fire to get just where I am.”
Jackie said, “I don’t want to get where you are.”
“I know. I didn’t say you did.” Gail began picking up the clothes from the floor. “I guess you’ve got to try, right? He might fool us. But in the meantime, start working on another plan.”
Jackie leaned, arms crossed, against the doorjamb. She wanted to defend Perry but nothing she could say that would faze Gail came to mind.
“I think Dan Neighbors still has a thing for you,” she tried.
Gail straightened up and tossed an armload of clothes upon her bed. “You going to tell me how well you know men?”
Jackie smiled. She knew when she’d scored a direct hit with Gail. “No, I mean it. I bet he does. And see, that’s why I ain’t running to be just like you. ‘Cause I ain’t going to give up.”
Gail stood beside the bed in her slip looking at the tumble of clothes. “I have piles of laundry and I want to vacuum all the upstairs, and get that chicken thawed for dinner.”
One more try, Jackie thought; the older woman seemed calmer now. “Gail, please, won’t you watch the boy for me? Just a couple of hours, okay?”
“No,” Gail said.
Nothing went right. She made a few phone calls. Her friends were out, sick, or busy. No one wanted to sit for Cole when Jackie couldn’t offer them any money. She lay across the bed with the phone on her chest. She fed Cole and changed Cole and when the boy crawled under the bed and got stuck, she called Tyler to extricate him. Tyler left for the mall after that with some friends before Jackie could consider asking him to babysit, which she already knew he’d never do anyway. She used to be able to get Mason to watch Cole easily. He would practically volunteer, though he’d act like he was really being put out by the whole thing. Too bad he had left.
Mostly she lay there and thought of Perry. She rocked her crossed legs. Gail was wrong about Perry. He loved her and he would love Cole too. Before he’d gone back to Lafayette for his last semester, they had worked everything out. They would find a little apartment together at first. He would start his career. Perry would introduce his parents to their new grandson, Cole. That would be something to see; Perry always spoke of his mother as something of a control freak and his old man as a very starched shirt. But they would love Cole too.
“No promises,” Perry had said, “they break too easily anyway. But we’ll try. We’ll work toward it.” He’d held her in his arms while he spoke, making her feel reassured and protected.
If Perry would just talk to her, and not just on the phone, and not with his friends around. She knew his friends talked against her. They were probably telling him to leave her alone, her and Cole.
