Magic Incarnate the Box Set 1-3, page 74
A tingling in my fingers has me jerking my hand free from Gavin’s. He glances at me. I swallow awkwardly and back up. “You shouldn’t touch me.”
His eyes clouded over. “Sorry. I swear I didn’t mean—“
“No, not because of…” I glance upstairs to refer to Vince.
Understanding dawns as his face pales. “Your death touch.”
I nod and rub my arms. Goosebumps appear, and I’m shivering. Why, I’m not quite sure.
“Gloves,” I murmur.
He makes a face. “Really?”
“I can’t always control it, and I’m terrified that what happened to your father will happen again.”
“I’ve been thinking about that. Your emotions were what led you to needing to sacrifice yourself, right?”
“Losing control of them, yeah. Why?”
“You lost control when you…”
“Yeah.” To some extent. I wanted to pull away, but I felt as if someone was holding my hand against me. Maybe I imagined that. Maybe it had been my emotions all along.
“If you can control your emotions, maybe you’ll be better able to handle your power.”
“I hope so.”
He pats my shoulder.
I wince and move away.
Gavin sighs and crosses his arms. “You sure you don’t want me to touch you because of—“
“I’m sure.”
“So if you weren’t afraid, you’d let me hold your hand?”
I hesitate. This is treading on dangerous ground.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbles. “Forget it. I know…”
“I know you know. And about the…”
“I’ll ignore them.”
His visions. Ignoring them won’t make them go away. Why does he have visions of us being together? Why doesn’t he see me with Vince? Does that mean we fail? That Vince dies and goes to Hell?
There are some fruit in a bowl on the counter, next to a note from Mrs. Fuller. She dropped some food off for us. I grab a banana and start to peel it, but the fruit is all black and decayed before it comes near my mouth.
Gavin’s face drains of blood. “You really…”
“Yeah.” I toss out the dead banana.
“If you’re hungry, there’s soup. You shouldn’t be able to kill that.”
“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Or I could feed you some grapes.”
An innocent enough comment, if not for the sly smile on his face.
“I’ll pass.” I do make myself some soup though and return to the books. Nothing about demons or marks. Nothing about being cursed or being trapped in one’s mind. Nothing helpful at all. There’s a lot about the different elements and ways to manipulate them, but concerning the element of blood, there isn’t much at all, and considering that the only element that might have anything to do with life and death, it’s so frustrating. I don’t need to know about metal and air and wind and water and fire…
Actually, fire might be a good idea considering the arson.
The obnoxious wail of a fire truck wails, and the back door slams shut. Gavin must’ve gone off. I’m tempted to go myself.
Footsteps pound on the stairs. “Crystal.”
“Yeah, Vince?”
“You can kill things, right?”
I slump my shoulders. Is that all I’m good for now? Are my powers that destructive?
“Yeah,” I mutter.
He rolls up his sleeve. His mark covers the length of the inside of his arm, from his wrist up to his elbow. It’s more upraised than ever before, just as blood red. The flames look real, and I half expect to see smoke rising from them.
“I want you to try to kill it,” he says.
“Kill it,” I repeat numbly.
“Yeah. The mark.”
From the look on his face, he’s completely serious.
From the look in his eyes, he believes in me, trusts me to do this.
“I’ve given it a lot of thought,” he continues. “It’s the only way.”
“No.” I shake my head. “It’s too dangerous. What if I can’t control it? What if I kill you instead?”
“It’s better than waiting around to die. At least I won’t go out alone.” He heaves out a breath. “Every time I close my eyes, I see the fires, I see the red-scorched landscape. I hear the gnashing of teeth, only it’s my teeth that are being gnashed. I hear the wailing, and it’s my wails. Every time I go to sleep, I’m trapped in Hell. Crystal, I know what’s to come of me. I know that one day soon, I’ll die.”
“I don’t want—“
“If this fails, I’ll rather that you be the one to kill me than a demon. I… I’ve seen them. In my nightmares. At night. They walk around—“
“You’ve seen them? What do they look like? And when? Why didn’t you tell me before? You shouldn’t be out and about, not alone and especially not if you’re afraid one will kill you!” I’m shouting and rambling, and I don’t care.
“They only show their real form at night, and it’s not every night.”
“Where are they during the day?” I wonder.
“I don’t know. I don’t wanna know. But they’re terrifying, Crystal, and I… I don’t want to live like this anymore. Please. Try to kill the mark.” He shoves his arm toward me.
“I won’t.” I shake my head.
“Fine. Then I’m gonna cut my arm off.”
“Vince!”
“I’m serious.” His jaw is set.
I narrow my eyes. “That’s blackmail. Or coercion. Yeah, that’s it. You can’t force me—“
“I would never force you to do anything.” He cups my chin and lifts it so I have to look at him, although it’s hard to see through my unshed tears. “But I want you to at least try. Can you do that for me?”
“If you… I’ll never forgive…”
“I know,” he says hoarsely. “I’ve been there. I know I haven’t been in the right headspace lately. I thought that maybe pushing everyone away would be easier. I think Bri’s doing that too. I don’t know. It’s so hard… Everything’s been so hard. Ever since you died…”
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” I ask gently. Something’s definitely happened.
“I just want to forget about that. It was a rough time for me. Brianna made it easier, but… Good things can come out of bad, right?”
“Yes,” I say automatically, but I wonder if that’s really the truth. There’s a lot of bad in the world and not nearly enough good.
“I trust you with my life, Crystal.” He grabs my hands and holds them to his chest. “I trust you not to bring me to death. And if you do… I won’t mind. I’d prefer to die in your arms.”
“Your mom…”
“She knows about the mark. I explained it to her. She’s freaked out. So is Dad. I said good bye to them, just in case.”
I blow out a breath. My heart is pounding, and I can hardly think. “You’ve really thought this through.”
“I have. I know it’s a lot to ask, but if anyone can save me, it’s you.”
“I’m not so sure about that.” I shake my head and look away.
He tilts my head up and gently presses his lips to mine. A sweet, tender kiss that leaves me crying.
It’s a good bye kiss.
Chapter 27
I want to throw myself at him, to kiss him again, to kiss away his pain, his talk of demons and death, to fight away the mark through love rather than magic. “I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Just try,” he says simply.
His faith in me is so misguided. I’ll fail and never forgive myself… or forgive him for forcing this on me.
I shake my head.
“Crystal.” He cups my face. “You’re touching me right now.”
“Technically, you’re touching me,” I argue.
He takes my hands and holds them to his face. “Now you’re touching me.”
Despite myself, I smile.
“And I’m fine. You aren’t hurting me. You can control this part of your magic.”
“But what if—“
“Don’t be afraid.”
“Of course I’m afraid,” I whisper. “It’s bad enough that I’m living in a world without my mom. I don’t want to live in a world where you and Bri aren’t a part of it. I don’t want to have to accept that those I care about are going to be causalities because of me. Lydia died because of me. I don’t want you and Bri to be next.”
“So help me,” he says simply.
I close my eyes. I can see the flowers I brought forth, but I also see the ruined, withered trees too.
It’s worth a shot, right? To try to save him? I’ve been feeling so helpless for so long that I can’t begin to feel hope though.
“Kill the mark,” he whispers.
“Can’t Gavin try to burn it off?” I ask, desperate for a means that would prevent me from tapping into my still unmastered powers—my highly dangerous, still unmastered powers.
Vince grimaces. “He tried that. Almost killed us both.”
“When? How?”
“You don’t wanna know.” He scowls before smiling. “I trust you, Crystal. You can do this.”
“You got a death wish?” I mumble.
He touches my cheek again. “Your eyes… they’re so green and lively… Why have they changed colors?”
“I think… I think it has something to do with Mount Claymore. There’s magic in the mountain, and… You really want me to do this?”
“Yes.”
I grab his hand and pull him toward the back door. “Then we’re going on a field trip first.”
Neither of us talk much as we make our way to the mountain, but it’s a comfortable, easy silence. It feels so right to be walking with him, to be enjoying nature like this, to inhale the clean air, to hear the few birds that haven’t gone south yet chirping. It’s a good day to be alive.
It’s not a good day to die.
All of us have seen better days, but Vince still looks handsome to me. It amazes me how far we’ve come. We started dating right when my life was on the edge. I hadn’t been willing to tell him the truth about myself, but he found out anyhow. Then he died, and he tried to find me. He learned about my magic, and it didn’t send him away. No, he pretended to die, he gave up his life, so that he could bring me back.
And even though I kissed Gavin, I think he forgives me. Despite the mark and the affect it has on him, he is still fighting.
That’s my Vince. Always a fighter. He fought against God because his brother died. He fought against Gavin’s advances to get me to date him. He fought against the idea of me being dead permanently. He fought against Scarlet Blood and ended up getting marked. He fought against the mark, and we’re making progress in our relationship despite the fear that he might die soon and go to Hell.
Mount Claymore is right in front of us now, and I have to break the silence. “You really want this? Even if I am the one to kill you?”
“You won’t kill me,” he says calmly.
I start to climb the mountain.
Vince yanks on my hand.
I almost stumble. “What’s wrong?”
“The flowers.”
I glance behind me. Sure enough, flowers have sprouted.
“When did that start?” he asks, bending down to examine the closest one.
“Around when my eyes changed colors.”
“Wow.” He moves to pluck one and frowns. “The stem won’t break.”
“Don’t kill it.” I giggle.
“You created them,” he whispers, a touch of awe in his voice.
I shrug one shoulder. “Not a big deal.”
“Yes, it is. Life. And death.”
“A balance,” I murmur.
“Of your power.” Vince straightens. “Crystal, there’s been a lot of darkness in my life. I’ve had to work through a lot of issues, and you’ve always been there for me. You’re my light. Could this end badly, yeah, it’s possible, but I don’t think it will. It doesn’t matter either way. If I have my way, I’ll live. I’ll go to Heaven after a long, happy life. I don’t want to die. Not yet. And I don’t want to go to Hell.” He pulls up his sleeve to reveal the mark. “Help me. Please.”
Holding hands, we walk up the mountain. Not far from the rubble, I take a few deep breaths and close my eyes.
Dear Lord, this is crazy and reckless, and I’m terrified. Please, help me to help Vince. Watch over him. Protect him. Keep him safe. Even… even if this ends badly.
I open my eyes just a teensy bit, enough so that I can see to grab onto his mark. The heat emanating from it is so intense that I want to jerk away, like a way too hot stove you accidentally touch. Forcing myself to hold on isn’t easy, but I manage. Step one of however many, done.
The flames of the mark are especially hot, and if I could, I would blast it with water, but I’m not magic incarnate, and I can’t do that. Kill, not drown.
If I could just blast it with life instead, then I would feel so much better about the whole thing, but life and Hell didn’t mix. It wouldn’t work. Vince is right. The mark has to die.
But if I can focus life on Vince and death on the mark…
I leave my left hand on the mark while my right hand touches Vince’s left arm. It’s not easy to focus on both life and death at the same time, and funneling them in opposite directions is even harder.
And when I touch the mark with my death magic, all Hell breaks loose.
Chapter 28
The mark. Death. The world around me crumbles, falling away. I try to scream, to call out to Vince, but I don’t feel him. I’m not touching him any more. I’m falling…
My eyes have been closed the entire time, but now I see true blackness for the first time.
And then the black fades away, replaced with a bright, blood red. My eyes are open, and I see an oasis of blood and sand made from ground bones. I’m stepping on skulls. The gnashing of teeth, the wailing… it’s coming from me.
No. Something is wrong. I shouldn’t be here. I can’t be in Hell!
Just like that, I’m slammed back into my body so hard and so fast that I drop to the ground.
“Oof!” I groan and shift to the side to rub my butt. “Vince! Are you all right?”
He shakily climbs to his feet. I think I might’ve knocked him over. “What happened?” he mumbles.
His face is flushed, and he’s sweating.
“You don’t look so hot,” I murmur, wrapping an arm around his waist to help him stand straight.
“Funny. I feel like my fever is a thousand degrees.” He licks his chapped lips.
Still holding him up, I lift up his sleeve.
His mark. Not all of it is blood red. Parts of it are black.
Like it’s dying?
Or like Vince is dying?
“What happened?” he repeats.
“I’m not sure. I… I think I got a glimpse of Hell.”
“Let me guess. It’s a really hot ticket.”
“Not exactly the locale for a destination wedding. Too lonely.”
“Lonely?”
“Yeah. I didn’t see anyone.”
“Better than running into a bunch of demons, I guess,” he mutters.
“Probably.”
“Ready to try again?” He holds out his arm.
“You sure you want me to?”
“I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t.”
I nod. “All right, but this is my last attempt.”
“But—“
“If you really want me to try again, Gavin will have to be here. As backup. Or for me to channel. Or in case you need healing. Or…”
He taps a finger against my lips. “Create some more flowers.”
“Why?” I lift my eyebrows.
He traces a line on my cheek. “Just do it.”
So I do. I’m not sure how many I create, but there’s something very freeing about tapping into that part of my magic. It’s expending power, yes, but it kinda refuels me too. Strange.
“I thought so.” Vince lifts my sleeves.
A few of my scratches are gone. “What in the world?”
“You can heal through life.” His gaze goes to his mark.
“You want me to try that instead of killing it?”
“It’s worth a shot, right?”
Life and Hell don’t mix, like I thought before, but maybe if I can keep him alive, then he won’t go to Hell, so…
“Yeah, it’s worth a shot.”
I touch his mark. It’s even hotter than before, and it washes over me, burning me inside and out. Once again, I descend into Hell, and I see them this time—the lost souls, the ones banished to Hell, the ones who will be stuck here for the rest of time.
I’m on a small island of reddish brown rock. All around me is a sea of lava, smoke rising up, the scent of burning skin and hair gagging me, the fog obscuring my vision.
Then I spot them, the demons, at least that’s what I assume they are. It’s hard to see them through the fog, but they’re way too big to be human at all. The fog seems to be emitting through them as much as from the lava, swirling around them, as if they are part shadows themselves.
Even though I’m terrified of being noticed—so far, the lost souls are too wrapped up in their turmoil and I can’t tell what the demons are focusing on or what they’re planning—I try to take in everything from the landscape to the demons to the lost souls.
But the heat is too immense, and I can’t handle it. I feel like the Wicked Witch, like I’m melting. And I actually am melting. I’m turning into the fog myself…
I’m lying prone on the ground, face down. Noise flitters to my ears, but I can’t comprehend what it is. My arms refuse to move.
Once again, I’m paralyzed, only this time, I hadn’t gone near the portal. Then again, I might have gone to Hell…
I try to listen more, to gain insight into my environment, but all I can sense is magic. Mount Claymore. I’m still here.
It’s so tempting to tap into the magic, to draw from it, to use it to make me whole again, but the magic is unknown. It’s changing me. Is it wise to keep drawing from it?
