Voyeur, page 16
Honor,
Please come to the show tonight. I have something for you. If not, please call me. Can we talk, please? I know things are a little weird right now, but I don’t want them to be, babe. I’m not performing tonight. I’ve made other arrangements. Please.
Silver
“Silver?” Honor said out loud as she read and reread the card to herself. “Silver sent me flowers.” She smiled and breathed in the scent of roses. “These must have cost a fortune.” She touched one of the petals and reread the card again.
She’d told herself that she was done with the show. There were only two performances left, and she could get by without going to those. Silver would get bored with her eventually, and that would be the end. Honor would just go out with Christina, and maybe they’d go out again after that. Then, at some point, maybe they’d sleep together.
As Honor sat in one of the guest chairs and stared at the flowers, her phone buzzed.
Silver Kincade: Did you get them? I didn’t have your home address.
Honor smiled at the text and decided to tease Silver.
Honor Wrenley: Get what?
Silver Kincade: Oh. I told them to call you if they couldn’t deliver them to the office. Did you not get a call? It showed they were delivered when I tracked them just now.
Honor Wrenley: What showed delivered?
Silver Kincade: Flowers. I got you flowers, Honor. I need to call the stupid company and yell at them for not following simple directions.
Honor didn’t want the florist to get yelled at, so she smiled at Silver’s text and typed a response.
Honor Wrenley: They probably didn’t call because an employee was here, and she signed for them. She called me. I’m staring at the roses right now. You didn’t need to get me flowers, Silver.
“It would be easier if you hadn’t,” she said to herself.
Then, her phone rang, and it was Silver.
“Hi,” she said.
“So, you were totally messing with me just now?”
“Yes.” Honor laughed.
“Well, that’s mean, Honor.” Silver laughed, too.
“Sorry, I couldn’t resist. They’re beautiful, by the way.”
“Yeah? You’re not mad?”
“Why would I be mad?”
“Because I sent them to your work. I know you’re not fully out there, but I figured it was Saturday, so there was a slim chance that someone else would see them anyway. Sorry. It sounds like someone did.”
“She didn’t read the card. She’s an intern, so I think she’d be too scared to do that and not tell me, you know? And there wasn’t anything in the card that gave stuff away.”
“I wrote it, like, five times trying to tell you what I wanted to but make it ambiguous because someone was typing it out, and then, someone else could see it.”
“What were the four other drafts like?”
“The first one said, ‘I loved it when I had your clit in my mouth.’ ”
“Silver!”
“I’m kidding.” Silver laughed and added, “Just basically what’s there now, I promise.”
“You’re not performing tonight?”
“No. I didn’t last night, either.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. Just wasn’t feeling it.”
“You weren’t feeling fucking your friends?”
“No,” Silver said. “I didn’t even do my walk-through last night. I worked in my office the whole time.”
“Why?”
“I felt like something was off with us yesterday morning.”
“Off? Felt pretty on to me. Did you fake that last one?” Honor covered her face with her free hand and shook her head.
“Not the orgasm part of the morning. I’m talking about the part where you couldn’t get out of there fast enough. And before that, when I offered to take care of you nice and slow, you weren’t interested.”
“I wanted you to fuck me,” Honor lied.
“Did you, really, Honor?”
“Silver, why did you get me flowers?”
“Because I wanted to,” Silver stated.
“Do you get other women flowers?”
“I’ve never sent a woman flowers in my life. I had to google how to do it when I wanted same-day delivery.”
“I’ve never gotten flowers sent to me,” Honor shared.
“No? Those men you dated didn’t send you flowers after they gave you mediocre sex that was probably all about them?”
Honor laughed and said, “No, they didn’t.”
“Can we talk, Honor?”
“We are talking.”
“No, tonight,” Silver said. “In person. At the show.”
“What did you mean, you have something planned?”
“For you and me. I’m sort of taking the night off, but I can’t not be there entirely because it’s my show.”
“Silver, maybe we shouldn’t…”
“Shouldn’t what?”
“Do this. Lines are getting pretty blurry.”
“Why are you drawing lines at all?”
Honor swallowed and stared at the flowers in front of her.
“I have a date tonight, Silver.” When Silver didn’t say anything, Honor added, “She’s a friend of a friend. We’re grabbing a drink.”
“What are you doing after that drink?”
“I don’t know. I won’t be sleeping with her, if that’s what you’re asking. I still have your teeth marks on my skin.”
“Don’t want anyone else to see them?”
“No,” Honor answered quickly. “Especially not on a first date.”
“No sex on a first date, or you just don’t want her to know that someone sucked on your skin so hard, it left a mark not all that long ago before that first date?”
Honor clenched her thighs and said, “Both.”
“Where are you right now? Still at the office?”
“Yes. Why?”
“Can anyone see you?”
“No, and no, Silver. We’re not doing that.”
“Not doing what?” Silver laughed a little, and it was deeper than it had been a minute ago.
“You know what I’m talking about.”
“Have you ever had phone sex before?”
“No, and I’m not doing it now.” Honor released her thighs.
“Do you want to know what I did last night?” Silver asked.
And that got Honor to sit forward in her chair, feeling both nauseous and curious at the same time. She placed her hand over her stomach and tried to process which feeling was winning the battle inside her.
“Tell me what you’re thinking right now,” Silver requested.
“Nothing.”
“You’re lying, Honor. Tell me.”
“What did you do, Silver?” she asked and sat back in the chair.
“Is that anger I detect in your voice?” Silver teased.
“Who did you fuck, Silver?” she asked with definitive anger in her voice this time.
“No one,” Silver replied.
“What?”
“Stephanie was outside waiting for me, Honor. She was leaning against the wall before she pulled her dress up for me. She had no panties on, and she begged me to fuck her. All I had to do was push inside her easily, and I would have gotten her there in a few seconds. She offered to eat me out if I just fucked her. I should have. I could have, easily.”
“You wanted it,” Honor said before she gulped.
“Yes, I did.”
“Then, why didn’t you?”
“Because I want you more.”
“Silver, I’m not your–”
“Girlfriend; I know that. But it didn’t feel right. It felt like I should check with you first.”
“Check with me?”
“Like I needed you to tell me it was okay to fuck her without you there to watch or maybe join in.”
“Join in?” Honor let out with another gulp.
“Yes, join in. God, I’d love that. You, me, and another girl. Fuck, Honor. I’d love to watch someone go down on you, but at the same time, I don’t want anyone to ever touch you but me. Does that even make sense?”
“Yes, because it’s… it’s how I feel about you.”
“What’s even worse is that I liked it.”
“Liked what?”
“Liked thinking about checking with you first.”
“You liked the idea of having to ask me if you could have sex with someone else?”
“Yes; like knowing that you knew that’s what I was doing and that I would still come to your place after. It got me hard, Honor. I didn’t do anything about it, but it got me hard.”
“How would that even work?”
“Me fucking other people?”
“Yes.”
“We’d have rules, and we’d have communication and respect.”
“Rules?”
“Yes, rules. And there would be safety, too, Honor. I wouldn’t risk anything like that.”
“You’re saying this is something you actually want to do?”
“I’m saying that I want you to come to the show tonight. I want us to talk about things for real; all out in the open, with neither of us holding back.”
“Silver, I have a date.”
“You have drinks with a woman you won’t be thinking about because you’ll be thinking about me, Honor. And I don’t say that to sound egotistical, either. I say that because I know you’re picturing Stephanie against that wall and me standing there, all frustrated, because I wanted to touch her, but I wanted you to be okay with it, and that’s getting you turned on right now.”
“I’m not turned on,” Honor lied.
“You’re not? I am,” Silver replied. “God, I’m so hot for you, Honor. But I’ll wait. I want to see you tonight. I don’t care if you have some date.”
“What if that date goes well?”
Silver sighed and said, “Then, I guess I was wrong about us. And you can keep saying there’s no us, and you’re not my girlfriend, but, babe, something’s here. You make me feel different, and I know I do the same for you.”
“I have plans for my life, Silver,” Honor told her.
“I’m not getting in the way of them,” Silver argued. “I think I might want to be a part of them.”
CHAPTER 20
“Is she coming?” Brandi asked.
“I don’t know,” Silver replied, closing her computer. “She has a date. A date, Brandi.”
“Shit. Sorry, Silver. I know you like her.”
“It’s a drinks thing, and it’s a first date. I don’t even know why she’s going.”
“Are you sure she’s as into this as you are? I don’t want to see you get hurt here.” Brandi sat down on the futon.
“I can tell she likes me.”
“Are you sure she doesn’t just like the sex? You are very good at that, and she’s never been with another woman to know that you’re probably better at it than whoever she’s going out with tonight.”
“There’s something here, Brandi. I don’t just want to sleep with her. God, I want to take her out on a date. I’d do it tonight, but–”
“She’s on a date already?”
“No.” Silver gritted her teeth. “I have to be here.”
“Have to be? This show is your baby.”
“Yes, and it’s important to me, but honestly, I’d rather be with Honor. God, I’m an idiot. I’d rather just be with her, listening to her laugh, Brandi. What the fuck is that?”
Brandi laughed and said, “That’s not just sex at all. I love it when Dev laughs. I love seeing her happy and just be a goofball around the house or something.”
“I don’t know if Honor’s a goofball or not.”
“You’ll find out.”
“Not if she doesn’t show up.”
“Hey, if she doesn’t come tonight, it’s because she’s busy. Remember that and text her later. Ask her out on a real date, Silver. See if she says yes.”
“I did a whole thing for tonight… I should’ve made sure she was coming first.” Silver sighed.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay. This is the first time your heart has been this into someone, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” she confessed.
“Then, take it from someone who’s been there before: it’ll get better. If she’s meant for someone else, you’ll move on, and you’ll find the one meant for you, too.” Brandi stood up.
“How can you be so sure?”
“I mean, I found Dev. There’s someone – or, multiple someones – out there for everyone, right? I’m going to get out there. Good luck, Silver.”
“Thanks,” Silver said and watched Brandi leave her office, closing the door on her way out.
Maybe the flowers had been too much. They’d been having sex, and Honor had resisted Silver calling her babe, girlfriend, and just about every other term of endearment at least once. Silver should’ve just taken the hint and moved on. She should’ve fucked Stephanie against that wall and tried to forget all about Honor. Instead, she’d gotten the woman flowers and arranged for them to have something special tonight. Only there was no guarantee that Honor would show up, so she might end up heartbroken at her own art show.
Silver rose and put her stuff away. It was time, so she needed to get out there. Having locked her office door, she walked around the show just as it was getting started and kept a look out for Honor. Not seeing her after the first trip around, Silver decided to sulk in her office until the second part of the show, but when she turned to go back to her office, she saw her.
“God, she’s beautiful,” Silver whispered to herself.
She then walked over to her, taking in the short heels and the red dress Honor was wearing and thinking that it looked amazing on her, but that Silver loved her in a pair of comfortable jeans and a sweater just as much.
“You came?” Silver spoke, taking Honor’s hand without another word.
“I did,” Honor replied.
“Come on,” Silver said and entwined their fingers.
“Where are we going?”
“Someplace private.”
They walked hand in hand to the space that Silver had cordoned off. She’d used spare barriers and built them a four-walled room with a door that she pushed open.
“This is for you,” Silver said.
Honor walked in before her, so Silver closed the door behind them.
“It’s a bedroom like the ones out there,” Honor noted.
“Yes.”
“Silver, I didn’t come here to have sex with you. I came here to talk.”
“I know,” she replied and took Honor’s purse, setting it on the table by the bed. “But I set this up because I thought you’d like to listen while we…” Silver placed her hands around Honor’s waist from behind. “I want to make love to you, Honor. Not just sex. I don’t want to fuck you tonight. I want to show you that I can be more than just a woman you sleep with.”
“Silver, you don’t have to show me anything. I–” Honor stopped talking when Silver’s lips hovered at her neck.
“How did your date go? Did you wear this for her?”
“Yes,” Honor whispered as Silver placed a kiss to her neck.
“Did she like it?”
“Yes.”
“I like it, too,” Silver told her, sliding a hand up the side of the dress until it was under it and she had her hand on the inside of Honor’s thigh. “God, baby, you’re so beautiful.”
“We shouldn’t… There are people out there.”
“They were there the other night, too.” Silver kissed Honor’s neck, breathing her in. “I need you, Honor. It’s not a want; it’s a need. I need to be touching you slowly, making you come and watching your face when you do.”
“God, Silver.”
“It’s just about you tonight, baby.”
“No, I want to touch you.”
“Slow?”
“Yes,” Honor confirmed as Silver pulled down on the zipper at the side of the dress.
“Was your date nice?”
“Yes.”
“Did she buy you a drink?”
“Yes.”
Silver moved her hand to Honor’s breast and pulled it out of the dress and the cup of the bra she still needed to remove.
“Did you think about me?”
“God, all night,” Honor revealed.
“Is she a good kisser, at least?” Silver asked, massaging Honor’s breast.
“No.”
“No? She kissed you?” Silver turned Honor’s face gently toward her. “Her lips touched these lips?”
“No, I meant that I don’t know. We didn’t do that.”
“Did she want to?”
“Yes.”
“But you didn’t?”
Honor shook her head and replied, “No, I couldn’t.”
“Why not?”
“I felt like…”
“Like you needed to check with me first?”
Honor nodded and said, “I didn’t want to kiss her, though. I only want to kiss you tonight.”
Silver spun Honor in her arms and pulled her into her body.
“Will you go out with her again?”
“She asked me to go out to dinner.”
“What did you say?”
“That I’d get back to her.”
Silver scrunched up her nose and said, “I don’t want you to go out with her. I know that’s wrong and not for me to say, but I don’t want you to.”
“Will you just make love to me, please?” Honor kicked off her dress. “Mark me again.”
“If I mark you again, you won’t be with anyone else until those marks are gone. You don’t want to have to explain what you let me do to you to them, do you?”
Honor shook her head and took off her bra, leaving her in her heels and her black underwear.
“You wore this for her when I love you in nothing at all.”
“Well, I couldn’t exactly go to a bar with no clothes on.” Honor smiled at her.
Silver wrapped Honor’s arms around her own neck and said, “You should be comfortable on a date with a woman. Were you comfortable?”
“No.”
“Are you now?”
“In some ways,” Honor replied, causing Silver to smile softly at her because she knew what Honor meant.
