The Midwife's Nine-Month Miracle, page 16
‘Leo,’ she said, fiddling with one of the buttons on his shirt. ‘I have a confession to make.’
Leo shifted and tilted her face upwards. ‘You do?’
‘I owe you a big apology because I’m guilty of believing the worst of you. I’m ashamed to admit that for the last half-hour I’ve been thinking the most terrible things about you. Really awful thoughts.’
To her surprise he laughed. ‘You have?’
She nodded. ‘I asked one of the midwives where you were and she’d said you’d gone. I felt so alone after you left my hospital room and I assumed you’d left Arabella and me because of the way I reacted...’
‘You thought I’d deserted you both when you needed me?’ he asked, guessing the rest.
She nodded and dropped her head to his shoulder. Not eager to see his displeasure. ‘I did.’
Leo sighed and tugged her closer. His strong arms wrapping her in the cocoon of his embrace. ‘Sweetheart, it’s going to take time learning to trust one another again. But we’ve the rest of our lives together to do so. I’m not worried, nor should you be. We just need time.’
She glanced up at him and quizzed, ‘You’re not mad?’
He thought for a moment, then shook his head. ‘If you’d disappeared after our conversation about the heart murmur, considering the last few months, and the way I behaved before, I probably would’ve deduced the same thing. But I swear to you, on this old thing called my heart, that you and our daughter are everything I want in life, and I’m not going anywhere without you both. I promise, I’ll never leave you physically or emotionally again. All I’m guilty of is wanting to get the specialist here and I’m afraid I pushed everything and everyone else from my thoughts while I did so.’
Gila sighed. ‘I hate being like this...doubting you and—’
Leo put his finger on her lips. ‘It’s understandable. Just give me the opportunity to dispel those fears. It’s all I ask. I love you, Gila. Please give me a second chance to prove how much. You know, the counsellor helped me with accepting that nothing I did would ever have helped my sister, but on those hard dark days when I struggled, it was the thought of you that got me through them. I didn’t know if you’d ever forgive me or even if we would have a future together, but just the notion of you being in my life in any small way was what pushed me to fight. You are the splendour in my life. These last few days together have been precious to me. Living together, properly talking to each other. Admitting feelings I’ve never told another soul. And now we have Arabella. If you decide that all you want is to be friends while we raise our child, then I’ll accept that. I’ll take whatever you feel able to give.’
Gila stared into the face of the man she still loved, suddenly convinced a life minus him would be nothing but an empty one. One lived but never fully enjoyed. Like the sky without rain, or grass without soil. She’d tried for four months to give up their love and hated every minute. Four long months merely existing through each day. She refused to live the rest of her life in such an empty way. Not when she didn’t have to.
‘Is that what you want?’ she asked. ‘To be friends and nothing else?’
Leo shook his head. ‘No. I want to come home...to you.’
‘You do?’ she whispered.
He placed two fingers against her top just where her heart lay beneath. ‘In there. I want to go home inside your heart.’
Gila swallowed hard. She’d thought to use their week together to say goodbye to their relationship, confident she already understood the wishes of her own heart. What a stupid arrogant fool she was. No, not a fool, but a coward. Running away, instead of fighting for her marriage. Brooding when Leo’s own strength called for bolstering. He’d fallen, and instead of picking him up, she’d walked away and sulked.
Please give me a second chance to prove how much.
And he’d asked for a second chance, when she should be asking for the same. No, not asking, but begging. She’d picked the easy choice and left their marriage because she hadn’t liked the unfamiliar turn it had taken. Like the insecure child she’d once been, too scared to stand and face a situation she found uncomfortable, she’d packed a suitcase and left. But she wasn’t a child any longer. She was a strong woman and Leo had helped her become that woman with his love and understanding. He’d encouraged and filled her with confidence, yet when he’d needed her the most, she’d failed in not returning that same self-belief.
So yes, she too needed to plead for a second chance. Not just Leo. Because her insecurities had almost robbed them of something very precious. Their marriage. And now it was time for her to be brave and fight for it. Fight for him.
Licking her lips, she said, ‘I have a condition first.’
Leo’s gaze searched her face. ‘Which is?’
‘That you give me a chance to prove to you how much I love you. I let you down, Leo. So I have as much to prove as you.’
‘You didn—’ he began, but she stopped him.
Covering his mouth with her finger, she shook her head. ‘I did. The truth is, I don’t understand how love works. Perhaps you can teach me how to do it properly.’
A faint smile tugged at his lips. ‘I can do that. It might take a lifetime, though. Loving someone is a special art and should never be rushed.’
She smiled and laughed. ‘I promise to be a good pupil, teacher.’
‘I need a promise from you,’ Leo said, kissing the pad of her finger, still resting against his lips.
‘Yes?’ she asked.
‘Help me learn how to open up when I need to talk. The counsellor’s fine, but he’s not you. You get me better than anyone. It’s you whose judgement I respect and desire. The last four months have been hell and lonely. I miss you, Gila. Help me learn how to be a better, more open man. One who deserves your love.’
Ignoring her sudden tears, Gila nodded. She could do as he asked. It might take time and many mistakes, but she promised to love this man the way he desired. The way she desperately wanted to. Their relationship had stalled because they’d both made mistakes and resorted to old familiar habits. Ones learnt before they’d ever met. But the best thing with bad habits was that they could be broken and new patterns learnt.
‘There’s something I’d like you to do,’ she said. Reaching into her coat pocket, she took out a ring. A plain simple circle of gold whose symbolism carried so much.
Leo frowned at the sight of it, and then met her gaze. ‘Your wedding ring.’
She nodded and held it up between them. ‘I kept it under the pillow during Arabella’s birth and brought it with me. Like a lucky talisman, I suppose.’
It didn’t make sense considering their recent separation, but right now little made much of any. Her fingers were trembling as she held it out to him. ‘Will you please put it back where it belongs?’
His eyes widened as he absorbed her words. ‘Are you sure it’s what you want?’
She nodded. No doubts or concerns murmured to her, just clear certainty that this was the right decision. Every part of her soul urged her to return home in every sense. To repair the broken pieces of their relationship, not with unstable, flimsy patches of promises, but with firm and strong reinforcements made from sturdy and formidable love.
‘If you need more time,’ he offered.
She shook her head. ‘I don’t.’
‘If I replace the ring then you can’t leave again. Whatever problems come along we deal with them by staying under the same roof,’ Leo said.
She smiled. ‘I agree. I promise to stay put if you promise to talk to me. We’re stronger together, Leo. It’s taken me a long time to understand that I am no longer alone and I’m determined to make sure that you never will be, either.’
She lifted his hand and placed it against her chest. ‘I’m asking you to come home, Leo.’
Leo took the circle of gold from her, and slowly and carefully slid it back onto her finger. Lifting her hand, he kissed the band where it sat snuggly against her skin. ‘I’ll never give you another reason to take it off again, I swear. You’re right. Together we’re whole.’
Gila sighed, content and happy. Glancing at the man she loved so desperately, she said, ‘Let’s collect our daughter and take her home.’
Leo smiled and kissed her hand again. ‘With you and Arabella it’s the only place I ever want to be. But first I have to do something.’
‘What?’ she asked.
‘Kiss you,’ he said.
And so he did. And together they finally returned home to that place they were always meant to be.
EPILOGUE
GILA KISSED ARABELLA’S dark head and breathed in the mixture of soap, baby lotion and sweet little girl that made up her daughter’s unique smell. As she rearranged the long ivory-coloured antique gown her daughter wore, a happy peacefulness slipped through her. A familiar feeling these days and she treasured it.
At six months old, her gorgeous baby girl glowed with health and, so far, it appeared her tiny little heart was doing as the doctors hoped and mending naturally. Yet again the human body’s ability to heal amazed Gila and she thanked the heavens for the miracle.
Glancing at the clock on the tall city church tower, she smiled when it struck one o’clock. All around friends, family and colleagues manoeuvred their way inside the church building, all there to witness and celebrate Arabella’s christening.
After several days of rain, the sun had chosen to reappear that morning and its warm rays heated the busy city and put everyone in a good mood.
‘You okay?’
Gila leaned into the man whose arms encircled them. ‘I’m a mixture of excited and nervous. How about you?’
‘Nah, our Arabella’s got this,’ Leo answered. ‘She’s a scene stealer whatever she does. I can’t see today being any different. Not our little star.’
All the troubles, disappointment and fears were behind them. These days they continued to move forward, building their relationship and family. Both having learnt from the mistakes they’d stupidly committed. Each determined to make a life together where they talked to one another, even when it was hard and tough. And sometimes it was, but together they managed and worked through it.
They were a family who’d learnt to share and grow. More so since Arabella’s arrival. They’d fought their wobbly beginning and survived. No more hiding or trying to shield the other and especially no leaving. Oh, no, her suitcase stayed under the bed and she planned for it to remain there gathering dust, between holidays.
She grinned and turned slightly in Leo’s hold. In his dark suit he made her mouth water. Later, she would definitely be helping him out of it when they returned home. His shirt and tie, too.
‘You know I love you, don’t you?’ she said.
Leo’s eyes glimmered with happiness and mischief. ‘Behave, Mrs Wright, or I’ll ravish your pretty mouth right here in front of everyone.’
‘In front of a church?’ she teased, arching her eyebrows. ‘What a naughty man you are.’
Leo chuckled. ‘I’m pretty sure the guy in the sky will understand. You’re my soulmate, why wouldn’t I want to kiss you?’
Gila smiled and hugged their precious daughter closer. Yes, they’d all be having an early night. When she’d met and fallen in love with Leo, he’d given her more than just a love affair. Right here in his arms he’d given her somewhere to belong, a place that would always be her true home.
‘Are my special girls ready?’ Leo asked, dropping his arms to offer her his hand.
Gila took it and smiled up at the man she adored. ‘Always, Leo. For you, always.’
* * *
If you enjoyed this story, check out these other great reads from Shelley Rivers
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Keep reading for an excerpt from Their Marriage Worth Fighting For by Louisa Heaton.
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Their Marriage Worth Fighting For
by Louisa Heaton
CHAPTER ONE
The orange-pink glow of the setting sun glided across the façade of the beautiful St Aelina’s Hospital as Grace Rivas let out a deep, pent-up breath. A breath that was meant to steady her. To help her try to contain her nerves. A breath that was supposed to make her gird her loins, to prepare her for what waited inside.
Who waited inside.
She’d not called Diego to say she was back. It didn’t feel right with the way things had been left. What were they? Husband and wife legally, yes, but friends? People who called one another up just to say hi? People who would rush into each other’s arms, the way they’d used to? No. They were nothing that even came close to that.
That last argument before she’d left to visit her Aunt Felicity in Cornwall had been Heart-rending. The kind of argument that signalled the end of a relationship. And when you ended a relationship and then went away you didn’t call that person when you got back home, because technically they weren’t in your life any more.
She was not proud of the way she’d behaved. The lengths she had gone to in her desperation. The way she’d shouted. Ranted. Raved. Desperate for him to say something. To do something. To react to anything. Hoping beyond hope that somehow her words would get through that thick, impenetrable skull of his and he would call her mi amor, pull her close, kiss the top of her head and whisper into her hair that they would be okay. That he understood. That they would get through this. That they could deal with all the crap that life had thrown at them and come out on the other side somehow better, stronger than they’d been before.
Only he hadn’t done any of that. He’d just stood there. Listening. Looking sad. Looking like a berated child. Looking sorry, but not actually saying it, his lips pressed together so tightly, so grimly, it had almost been as if he was biting them. Stopping himself from speaking. He’d just stood there and taken the full force, the full brunt of her fury and her rage.
Oh, how she wished he’d said something! Anything! To show her that there was still some chance they could pull themselves through that quagmire of anger.
But his silence, his inability to salvage anything from their relationship, had caused her to throw her hands up in frustration and storm past him, slamming the bedroom door behind her so that she could check her luggage one last time, knowing she couldn’t miss her flight back to England. Especially because she’d be going alone now.
She hadn’t heard him leave. Maybe because she’d been too busy muffling her sobs. But when she’d finally emerged, pulling her luggage behind her, expecting one last tearful goodbye, maybe even a last attempt to turn things around and save their relationship, she’d found a note on the kitchen counter.
I think it’s best if I move into staff accommodation at the hospital.
For now.
D
Just D.
No kisses.
No, let’s talk when you get back. Nothing. Grace had scrunched the note up in anger and tossed it into the bin.
Now, even thinking about that night caused a sour sensation in her stomach, and she had to swallow hard and look up at St Aelina’s and try to remember the joy of this place.
The way it was lit up at night was particularly beautiful. Like another world. Which it was. A world in which Grace had always been able to find joy. Happiness. Refuge from her own heartbreak. Working as a midwife in the maternity unit of St Aelina’s hadn’t been just a job for her. It had been a way of life. She’d adopted this country and its people and given them her heart. Before meeting Diego she’d thought she’d never leave the hospital in London. Never leave her country except for holidays. But Spain—Barcelona, St Aelina’s—had become home. More than she’d ever thought possible.
The people, the weather, the historic beautiful buildings, the language... They had all made their way into her heart just as Diego had left it.
No. That wasn’t true. He was still in her heart. He was her husband and, no matter what had happened between them, he would always have a place in her heart. Especially because of all that they had gone through. But she hadn’t been able to keep him. He had walked away. Had not fought for them the way she’d hoped he would. And if he didn’t want to fight...? Well, then. What was the point?
But as she stood there, looking at the hospital she’d thought she’d work in for the rest of her days, she knew she would have to tell her boss that she couldn’t stay any more. That with her marriage over, with the way her life had crumbled, this place that had once given her such joy could only now cause her pain, if she stayed.
But she had more self-respect than that. She wouldn’t linger in the hope that Diego would offer some small crumb of comfort, like friendship. That would be pathetic. It was love, or nothing, and he’d made it quite clear that he couldn’t love her in the way she needed him to.
No. It was best to make a clean break.
