Primal Instincts: Volume 2, page 13
Yep, his coarse statement had drawn the attention of several employees, and while some pretended not to be listening, I could practically feel them hanging on by every beat of silence.
“Not here,” I said gruffly, getting to my feet.
“You did, didn’t you, asshole? You fucked her.”
I didn’t bother to pretend not to be offended by Hawk’s rude comment. I grabbed his arm and dragged him toward one of the second-floor conference rooms. I shoved him inside, then slammed the door behind me.
“I talked to Cheryl,” he barked. “She said you were MIA yesterday. What the fuck, Garrison? Creed asked you to keep an eye on her.” He threw his hands in the air and pivoted away from me. “You just couldn’t keep your fucking hands to yourself, though, could you? It’s bad enough she has to work with that jackass, and now you!”
I didn’t speak, figuring he would eventually tire himself out. I wasn’t in the mood to argue with Hawk. It was bad enough I was plagued by guilt, and it was pecking away at my insides like fucking seagulls with a loaf of bread. I was conflicted because, on the one hand, I couldn’t stop thinking about Journey and the incredible night we’d spent together. I wanted more than anything to go to her, to see her beautiful smile, to hear that raspy voice. I damn sure didn’t want to be hiding like a fucking coward. But on the other hand, I couldn’t stop thinking about how my actions had affected Hawk and Creed. I felt as though I’d stolen something vital when they had their backs turned, and it made me sick to my stomach.
Hawk pivoted to face me again. “Did you fuck her?”
I didn’t answer him, nor did I look away. I wouldn’t lie to him even if I weren’t willing to own up to it. I wasn’t ashamed of what I’d done, and I knew in my gut that, given half a chance, I’d do it again. Hell, I’d do just about anything to be with her. That didn’t mean I wanted to rub it in Hawk’s face, and based on his frustration, that was what he was aiming for. He clearly needed a fight, and he’d come to me to find it. I refused to give him one.
“She was in Creed’s office,” he finally said. “He called me up there to give me this.” He flapped a manilla folder. “Wants me to dig into Wayne’s life, see what I can find while he plays with her like she’s a goddamn toy.”
I wasn’t sure whether he was pissed that Creed was with Journey or because Journey was with Creed. Maybe both. It was difficult to tell with Hawk. While the man wore his emotions on his sleeve, he invited chaos into his life in a way that confused those of us around him. I never knew what he wanted, and I wasn’t sure he did either.
“Was it worth it?” he bit out. “Did she have a solid gold pussy?”
Those words snapped the chain holding me back. Without thinking, I charged him, slamming him into the wall, my fingers tightening around his neck.
“Don’t do that,” I hissed. “Don’t belittle her like that.”
His eyes widened, and I saw the pain there. It caused the vise holding my guts in to twist, making me nauseous. There was no doubt that my actions had hurt him.
Hawk held my stare for the longest time, and I couldn’t look away. With each breath, shards of glass rattled around in my lungs, shredding me from the inside out.
“At least tell me why,” he whispered.
“I don’t know why,” I said truthfully.
“Are you in love with her?”
I glared at him as I released his neck, taking a step back. “Don’t be stupid, Hawk.”
I turned away because I couldn’t risk him seeing the truth. Of all the people I encountered on any given day, of all the people I’d fucked in my lifetime, I’d gone and fallen in love with the one woman whose heart was likely already taken by another man. Perhaps Hawk wasn’t willing to accept that Journey was infatuated with Creed, but it didn’t make it any less true. It was only a matter of time before she chose him. It didn’t make sense to dwell on the fact that I’d somehow managed to do the one thing I promised myself I would never do again: fall in love.
“Jesus Christ!” Hawk bellowed. “You did. You fucking fell in love with her.”
I kept my back to him, unwilling to look him in the eye.
“Goddamn it, Garrison. This was a fucked up situation already. Why’d you have to go and make it worse?”
I heard the door open, so I turned to look at him. “Let’s talk about this later.”
His eyes narrowed.
“Dinner. Tonight. My treat. Wherever you wanna go.”
“You think I’m the only one you have to answer to?” He huffed. “You’ll have to face the music sooner or later. You can’t avoid Creed forever.”
His footsteps faded as he stormed out.
I exhaled roughly.
I wasn’t worried about facing Creed. He was the least of my worries. What I couldn’t do was continue to hide from Journey. It was a chickenshit move on my part, and I’d regretted it the second I drove away from Journey’s parents’ house. I’d wanted nothing more than to go back, to slide into her bed so I could hold her for the rest of her life.
I’d never felt this way about a woman before. Not even the ones I thought I’d been in love with during my lifetime. There’d only been a few. But not one of them had made me feel what Journey made me feel. It wasn’t rational, but at some point, I’d gone and fallen in love with the woman without meaning to. And now, I had to figure out a way to coexist in her world because there was no doubt in my mind she would choose Creed.
They always chose Creed.
19
Journey
Around four o’clock, the office started to thin out. Evidently, many departments worked extra hard during the first part of the week so they could do that. And now they were kicking off their weekend while my butt was still planted in my chair because I had agreed to wait for Creed.
Not that I had anything better to do. Since my parents weren’t coming home today, and Rhylee had boarded herself up in her writing cave now that her muse was well-lubricated, I didn’t have anyone waiting for me when I walked out the door. Taking one of the online classes I was required to take as an extension of the new hire onboarding process was my way of pretending work was keeping me here and not the impending pity party I would be throwing later.
I was debating how I wanted to spend the weekend even as I listened with half an ear to the dull repetition of the pre-recorded video. I didn’t mind sitting at home by myself, but if I did, I risked dwelling on the ridiculousness of my social life. And staring at my phone, wondering if Hawk, Creed, or Garrison would text or call would likely cause me to need therapy. It was hard enough not to think about them when I had more important things to do. With nothing on my agenda, it was safe to say I would go stir-crazy.
By four-thirty, the only person still in my department was Cheryl, but I had heard her talking to her husband on the phone earlier. They had some kind of school pageant to go to for one of their granddaughters, so he was picking her up. Any minute now, she’d leave, and I’d have no choice but to venture out myself.
The video ended, so I hurried through the five-question test. I clicked the completed button at the same time Cheryl wandered over to tell me she was heading out, and I should, too.
“The next couple of weeks will be busy,” she said, standing in the open doorway. “You should enjoy the lull while you can. We’ve got a lot to do before the upcoming charity event.”
“Charity event?” Apparently, I wasn’t getting the company newsletter, or this was top secret and Cheryl had let the cat out of the bag.
“The online drive starts two weeks before the actual party. You’ll be fighting for time with your team because they’ll be busy helping.”
I wasn’t sure what one of these events entailed, so I nodded as though I understood. As had been the case so far, I’d probably learn all the details a few hours before the deadline.
“The first charity event of the year always sets a precedent for those that follow,” she said, pulling out her phone when it chimed from her purse. “Last year, we had a good turnout, but I don’t think it was what they’d been hoping for. They’ll try to top it this year.”
Again, I wasn’t sure what any of that meant. I assumed she was referring to raising money.
“How many are there a year?” I asked.
“Usually one per quarter.”
Cheryl’s phone chirped. “Well, that’s my ride. I’ll see you on Monday,” she said with a small wave before heading for the door.
Because I wasn’t eager to be alone, I spent another twenty minutes tidying up my inbox before I gave in. Although Creed had told me to wait, I wasn’t a damn dog he could confine to a kennel until he was ready to bring me out to entertain him. There was a good chance something shiny had caught his attention, and he’d forgotten all about me.
Feeling my frustration ignite, I retrieved my bag from my desk drawer, then stood up to stretch. I was leaning down to lock my computer when someone cleared their throat.
“I’m leaving, Cheryl. I promise.”
“And here I thought you were going to wait.”
My gaze snapped to the man standing in my doorway. Or rather, leaning.
Creed had one shoulder propped on the doorjamb, a hand in his pocket, and his ankles crossed as he studied me from a few feet away. It probably shouldn’t, but seeing him filled me with a strange giddy sensation. He was still wearing the same suit from earlier, but he was winding down some. His inky black hair was a little disheveled, his jacket and tie were gone, his brilliant white dress shirt was untucked, and the top button was open at the throat, revealing a glimpse of his smooth, golden skin and the barest hint of a tattoo.
“I was waiting,” I assured him. “But Cheryl told me I should head out.” I waved toward the elevator. “She just left.”
Creed glanced out into the hallway, then back to me. “I saw her. Off to see her granddaughter sing.”
I wasn’t sure why, but it surprised me that he knew that little detail. Considering he was the CEO, I figured it would be challenging to keep up with things like that. My research into the company told me they had roughly six hundred employees, with a majority of those dedicated to sales. That number seemed too big for the CEO to remember small details about each person.
His eyes crinkled, and I detected the hint of a smile, but he didn’t say anything.
I stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out what his angle was. It was difficult to keep my anger in check. What Creed had done … playing with Garrison and me the way he had … it was wrong. At the very least, he should feel remorse for it, right? And now that my focus wasn’t entirely on Wayne the Fucker, I could tap into my previous irritation and redirect some of it to this man.
“Did you plan to walk me out? Or was there something else?”
“I’m ready when you are.”
Feeling awkward that he was watching me, I hitched my bag on my shoulder and grabbed my cell phone. I tucked it away and started toward the door.
I noticed his eyes shift to the bookshelf behind me, and I wondered if he was thinking about the camera Wayne had planted there. Since discovering it, I’d checked everything that could possibly hold a device like that each time I ventured out of my office. That was even after Garrison had someone install a lock on the door yesterday afternoon. The fact that I had to worry that Wayne would invade my privacy again was disconcerting.
As soon as I moved toward him, Creed stood tall, then stepped out of the way so I could close the door and lock it. He fell into step with me as I headed for the exit, opting for the stairs rather than the elevator. I wasn’t sure I was ready to be in a confined space with this man.
“I really don’t need an escort to my car.” I forced a smile to hide the exhilaration that his presence incited. I’d spent far too many hours fantasizing about this man since the day I met him. And though I harbored some animosity for his high-handedness, I could also admit I enjoyed being near him.
“Too bad,” he said.
“Too bad,” I mocked rebelliously as I slammed my hands into the door release bar and shoved it open before he could.
Creed remained right by my side, his gait smooth and even as he kept pace with me. Since his legs were significantly longer than mine, I was required to move faster to remain ahead. He seemed unfazed by my hostility.
“We’re going to dinner, Journey. You and me.”
The command was so stern and so unexpected I stumbled and nearly went ass over tea kettle. To keep me from falling, Creed’s big hand curled around my upper arm, steadying me.
“What?”
His sinful smile amped up a notch, his hand firmly gripping my arm. “Would you like me to say please?”
“Do you know how?” I countered, glancing down at where he was touching me. Although the sleeve of my dress kept us from being skin-to-skin, I could feel the warmth of his touch, and it sent a shockwave through my system.
“It’s in my vocabulary, although I don’t use it often. I told you I shifted my timeline to return today because I was taking you out.”
“That was light years ago. A lot has changed since then.”
“Not the important things,” he said smoothly, holding my gaze.
I felt like a gazelle trapped by a hungry lion. His gray eyes darkened as his eyebrows lowered, but his perfect mouth was what captivated me.
Creed leaned in, his voice gruffer when he said, “You can make this as difficult as you’d like. It’ll still end the same way. I’m taking you out, Journey. It’s non-negotiable.”
I inhaled sharply, stunned by the bolt of heat that exploded in my core. It was like I’d conjured this dominant man right out of my fantasies. But how could I possibly be turned on by that? And more importantly, how could he possibly still be interested? Not after everything that happened this week. The least of which was the way I had repeatedly hung up on him. It was childish and petty, and though I could acknowledge that, I would do it again in a heartbeat. Based on what I knew of Dominants, no self-respecting one would bother with someone who had no respect for authority when they felt trapped.
Feeling awkward again, I gently pulled away, breaking the physical contact before I continued down the stairs, using the handrail as a guide so I didn’t have another mishap. A moment later, I felt the warmth of Creed’s hand against my lower back.
“Is that a yes?” he asked.
“No.”
“Is that a no?”
“No.”
That spine-tingling chuckle sounded, and I fought the urge to squeeze my legs together.
“Dinner it is.”
I peered up at him briefly, then down at my outfit. “I’m not exactly dressed for anything fancy.”
“What you’re wearing is perfect.” His eyes were hot, moving over me as he muttered, “Seriously fucking perfect.”
My mouth fell open at the compliment.
A door above us opened, then slammed shut, meaning someone had entered the stairwell. It broke the spell. Creed’s hand disappeared from my back, and he put a bit of distance between us as we continued our descent.
Wow. Talk about a trigger reaction. That retreat of his was not discreet in the least.
I won’t lie; it hurt my feelings because clearly, he didn’t have a problem making me masturbate on the phone or summoning me to his office so he could make me, I don’t know, meditate for him, but he definitely didn’t want anyone else to see him touching me. Worse, I wasn’t sure why it bothered me that he didn’t. When I woke up this morning, I was pissed at him. Then he strolled in, and what? I got all giggly and gooey-eyed because he looked good in a suit.
You’re made of stronger stuff than that, girl.
Yes. Yes, I was. And to prove it, I started moving at a faster clip, desperate to get out the door before he had the chance to make me feel small and insignificant again.
20
Creed
When I arrived at the office this morning, I did not anticipate I would be walking Journey to her car.
I was supposed to be stronger than this.
I was supposed to be clinging to the reminder that staying away from her was the best option. For all involved. She had a way of stripping me of my hard-won control, which wasn’t something I could tolerate. The only way to ensure she couldn’t was to keep my distance, so during the flight back this morning, I decided to embrace her desire to shut me out. I could respect that, considering all that had transpired these past few days.
I shot that plan to shit when I summoned her to my office. Honestly, I hadn’t known what I wanted to say to her, only that I needed to see her. I’d spent the past three days telling myself there was no way she was as beautiful as I remembered and that she wasn’t as feisty or fierce or sexy or… I had nearly convinced myself that all the adjectives I’d conjured to describe her couldn’t possibly be accurate.
Then I laid eyes on her after three long days, and that was all she fucking wrote. At that point, I decided to take the high road. I accepted that I was in far too deep to let things end badly, so I planned to smooth the waters and let her know I would be backing off from that point forward.
That worked out fucking brilliantly.
I knew the moment I saw her outside my office door that I was through trying to sell myself bullshit. Instead of letting her down gently, I’d been drawn in by her obvious upset, and the only thing I wanted to do was help her through it. Which was why I had her meditate. She’d endured too much shit this week, and she hadn’t stopped to process it the way she should have. Instead, she’d held it all in until she was seconds away from shattering.
And now, as I walked her out, I was reminded once again of how beautiful and sexy and feisty she was. And how fucking good she looked in a fucking dress that molded to every curve like it had been sewn on her.
