One More Second Chance, page 10
Carter faced her and brushed his finger across her chin. “And what exactly have we been doing, Ms. Jones?”
“Ha!” Phoenix threw her head back and laughed. “You really need me to spell it out for you, Mr. Blackwell?”
“No!” Carter laughed. “Not at all.” He took her hand and continued walking. “Let me know if you get tired of walking.”
“I will.”
During their silent moments Carter tuned in to the sound of the water rolling up on the shore. He watched the moonlight ripple in the waves on the surface of the water. The blackness of the horizon was eerily fascinating. Finally, they came to the area Carter had found earlier. Just as he’d hoped, there was enough light to keep the area from being too dark.
“Give me the towels,” he told Phoenix.
She pulled them from her beach bag. Carter spread them over the sand and the two of them sat side by side, facing the sea.
Phoenix leaned her head against his shoulder. “I enjoyed my time with you.”
“I’m just glad you don’t hate me anymore.”
“What?” She swatted him playfully. “I never hated you—exactly. I mean, I wouldn’t call it hate. I was hurt.”
“I know. I hated that I hurt you.”
Phoenix looked serious and turned away.
“Did I say something?” Carter wondered what it could have been.
“Oh. No. I’m... I was just thinking about something.”
“Care to share.”
“Uh...no. It’s nothing. So...what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get back home?”
“A better question is what won’t I do. That list is shorter,” Carter chuckled. “There’s so much on my plate.”
“Preach! I’ll have a few weeks to decide about moving to the Bay Area or finding another job. I’m just concerned about my dad. I spoke with my mom and sister about it. My mother insisted I not worry and make the best decision for me. She’s actually looking forward to coming to visit if I move. All she and Savannah want to do is shop.”
“I’ve got some major paperwork and hard conversations waiting on me back home. It almost makes me want to stay at least another week.”
“Yeah.” Silence settled between them. Phoenix drew shapes in the sand. “As much as I love it here, I’m ready to go home. I need to sleep in my own bed.”
“There’s nothing like your own space,” Carter said.
“Yeah.” Phoenix paused and looked out over the sea. “Everything goes back to normal.”
Carter knew she was referring to this thing between them. For a moment he wondered, what if they continued seeing one another? Then he dismissed the idea almost as soon as he thought it.
“This is our last night.”
Phoenix turned to him. She gently touched his chin. “Yeah. Who would have thought?”
Carter leaned toward her and covered her mouth with his. Between kisses he told her how much he was going to miss her.
Carter’s hands roamed her body as he kissed her, gently squeezing her supple breasts and pulling her closer to him. Phoenix climbed over and straddled him. His erection pushed against his shorts and nestled right between her legs. Her presence summoned him to attention.
Without breaking their kiss, Carter unsnapped her bra, lifted her dress and pushed her panties aside. He fingered her jewel, making it moist and ready to receive him. Phoenix unzipped his shorts, pulled out his erection and stroked it to a level of rigidness that Carter deemed potentially dangerous. He needed to be inside her. He came prepared this time. Carter reached in his pocket, removed the foil pack and then sheathed himself. Phoenix moaned as he entered her.
Carter gently guided her hips up and down. “Are you okay?” he asked, checking in.
“Yes.” Her response was breathless. Phoenix licked her lips and groaned.
Up and down, she rode the full length of his shaft, creating a sweet rhythm. He met her stroke for stroke. Carter wanted to look her right in the eyes, but hers were closed, and her head was back. Their tempo quickened. Phoenix opened her eyes. Their gazes locked. The intensity increased. They bounced against each other harder, peering into one another’s eyes. Carter loved when she stared at him boldly while they made love. Phoenix held her arms around his neck tight.
She cushioned him with the walls of her canal. Carter almost howled. He wanted her to keep looking directly into his eyes. He wanted this feeling to last forever. A wave of pleasure washed over him, threatening to send him over the edge. It was too soon. Carter needed more of Phoenix. He lifted her off him, flipped her over onto her knees and entered her from behind.
“Yes!” Phoenix chanted over and over again. “Oh, Carter!” she moaned.
“Ph...Ph... Phoenix.” Carter was so overtaken by pleasure, he could barely get her name out.
His impending climax threatened to send him to euphoric destinations. He removed himself again, turned Phoenix onto her back and nibbled her pearl between his lips. He licked and teased her until her body shuddered uncontrollably. Once her peak had ravaged her completely she lay in a ball, moaning, trying to catch her breath. Carter wouldn’t give her rest. He wanted to please her until she couldn’t be pleased anymore. He kissed her swollen lips. Took her nipples into his mouth. Licked hot trails of kisses down her torso and entered her again.
Phoenix grunted, raked her fingers down his chest. She grabbed handfuls of sand, arching her back and bucking. Carter’s long, steady strokes turned urgent and wild. Soon, he grunted each time he drove himself inside her. His body tensed. His back arched. His eyes rolled back. His pace quickened. Sweet, melodic screams escaped her mouth. Guttural moans rumbled through his chest and out through his lips. His long, deep strokes turned into quick, erratic thrusts until he pushed himself inside one last time and exploded.
Carter’s muscles spasmed, forcing him to buck and hold, buck and hold. He couldn’t control his muscles. They tightened with a fierce grip that wouldn’t let him go. At the same time Phoenix wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his back and pushed against him hard. Then her body bucked and spasmed, too. Her groans rode her release until she finally lay spent, and Carter collapsed on top of her. They lay there together until their heartbeats and breathing returned to a normal pace.
Then they lay on their backs, looking into the clear midnight sky, pointing out the stars to each other.
“You make me not want to leave,” Phoenix said.
“We could stay one more day. Then we wouldn’t have to sneak around,” Carter laughed.
“I wish.”
After a while Carter asked. “Ready to head back?”
“You coming to my room or am I coming to yours?” Phoenix asked.
“Whatever your pretty little mind desires.”
Carter picked up the towels and shook them out. They walked back hand in hand until they got closer to the villas where their families stayed. Carter thought he saw Lincoln walking up to his room but looked the other way.
They came to Carter’s room first and dipped inside to avoid the risk of possibly being seen by anyone else. Inside they showered together, washing the sand from one another’s bodies. They made love in the shower and again once they hit the bed. Carter couldn’t get enough of Phoenix. The feel of her drove him to the edge of a pleasurable madness. When he reached a peak with her, it took forever for the deeply sensual sensation to loosen its grip. Making love to her was more indulgent than he ever remembered.
“I can’t stay all night this time. I need to pack.”
“Okay. I’ll walk you over.”
“No. I can manage. Besides, I don’t want anyone to see us.”
Carter felt a shift in her demeanor. Maybe it was because this was goodbye.
“I need one more kiss.” They kissed and then Carter held her for some time.
He felt himself dozing off when he heard her calling his name softly. “Carter?” It sounded like a question and the tone had completely changed. Carter was alarmed.
“What’s up?” He lifted and leaned on his elbow.
“I have to tell you something.”
Carter sat completely up in the bed. Phoenix swung her legs over the edge of the mattress. She sat pensively for a moment before standing. She paced a bit and then stopped. Carter noticed how she wrung her hands.
He jumped up and went to hold her. Phoenix held her hand up, stopping him.
“What is it, Phoenix?” Carter wondered if she was having second thoughts about the past few nights. Maybe she wanted to continue seeing him. Carter wondered if that would work. He had to be ready for Phoenix. She wouldn’t give him her heart twice for him to break it.
Phoenix continued pacing.
“Phoenix!” She flinched. The volume of his tone startled her. “I’m sorry. What is it that you want to say?”
Phoenix stopped pacing and closed her eyes. She inhaled long and deep. When her eyes popped open, her mouth did, too. “I was pregnant, too.”
Carter was confused. “Pregnant. What? When?”
Phoenix huffed. “Carter.” She spoke slowly. “I was pregnant. I was going to surprise you and tell you on our wedding night.”
“Wh—! No. No. No. No. No!” Both Carter’s hands waved in the air. “Phoenix, what are you saying?”
“It’s time you knew. I was carrying your baby when you called off the wedding. That’s why I was so angry and didn’t want to hear what you had to say.”
Carter felt like time had slowed down. Confused, he sat on the edge of the bed and held his head in his hands. “What are you saying? Wh...what happened to the baby? Phoenix. Wh...where’s the baby?” Carter had trouble getting his words out. He couldn’t breathe.
Phoenix took a while to answer. When Carter looked up to see why she hadn’t spoken, he saw the tears in Phoenix’s eyes.
“I...lost it.” Phoenix’s hands crossed her stomach as if it ached. She caught her breath. “It happened when I got back from Belize. The doctor said it could have been from the stress. I wasn’t eating... I... I couldn’t eat. I... I...”
Carter grabbed Phoenix and held her in his arms. She sobbed.
“I lost the baby, Carter,” she repeated.
Carter didn’t know what to say. His anger only subsided due to his looming sense of guilt.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, still holding her.
Phoenix pulled herself out of his embrace. “You left me! The day before our wedding. You left. I let you go, because I was angry. You hurt me. You hurt me bad. I was an emotional wreck. I wanted you out of my sight. I was going to tell you when I got back from Belize. I needed to go and clear my mind. I didn’t expect to lose our baby. By then you were gone. You were with Taylor. People saw you so I didn’t say anything. I thought you left me for her. I didn’t know she was pregnant until you told me the other day. I never knew we were both carrying your child!”
That stung. “Taylor wasn’t carrying my child. You were. You were my fiancée. You were going to be my wife and you didn’t tell me.”
“And you walked out on me!” Phoenix shouted, stabbing the air with her index finger.
“I would have never left if I knew you were carrying my child. I could have worked something else out. Ugh! I was just trying to do the right thing.” Carter stood and paced circles at the end of the bed.
The weight of all Carter had lost crushed him, making it difficult to breathe. The words scrambled in his mind and wouldn’t make sense coming through his lips.
Phoenix dried her tears. Picked up her beach bag to leave. He followed her to the door not sure of what to say. She paused once she opened the door. “You had to know.” The pain in her voice was evident. She softly closed the door behind her.
What was Carter to do with this information? They had messed up and it was a cost they could never recover. Carter went back to the bedroom, lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
Fifteen
Phoenix was happy to be home, but after a bad case of jet lag and the string of sleepless nights she had spent in Carter’s arms before she left, she wished she could sleep twenty-four more hours but she had to go back to work. She lifted her hand and smiled at the doorman in her luxury condo in downtown Brooklyn. The older gentleman returned her customary greeting with a nod.
Phoenix hit the sidewalk and maneuvered through the throngs of people heading to work during the morning rush hour. She loved the vibe of her new neighborhood. It was alive and breathing with its own pulse. Within a few short blocks, she had access to coffeehouses, galleries, boutiques, fitness studios, poetry lounges and restaurants boasting cuisine representing every culture across the globe. Moving to Brooklyn from Long Island had shortened her commute to work significantly. Her office was a short train ride to a renovated brownstone on the other side of downtown. She even loved the noise of the city, chatter, cars, dogs barking, horns, music flowing from car windows or through the doors of coffee shops. It all synced together to create its own rhythm—a musical backdrop. It was so different from the neighborhood she grew up in on Long Island’s Gold Coast, with large homes on sprawling grounds and eerily quiet, tree-lined streets.
Brent offered to pick her up at the airport when she returned but she refused, preferring a drama-free ride with the car service she’d ordered. He also reached out to her as she was stepping into work. She responded with a text, can’t right now. She thought she made it clear to him that she wanted to break up before she left for Fiji. Their situation had passed its expiration date way before she ended it that night. Yet, he called and texted her several times about her not reaching out to him while she was away.
Brent texted again to say that he needed to talk to her, and asked if he could stop by after work. Phoenix wished she were back in Fiji with Carter. However, she was sure Carter wasn’t too happy with her, either. She hadn’t spoken to him since she left his room several nights ago after telling him about the baby. Whenever she thought back to that moment and seeing the look on Carter’s face, her stomach tightened. Phoenix thought she had buried those memories and the pain that came with them. Carter reopened those wounds when he confessed his true reason for calling off the wedding. It was hard to relive that moment, but harder to reveal to Carter the secret she held for all those years. She couldn’t decide whose revelation was worse, and hated to think that had she just listened to him that night or had told him about the baby, things may have been very different. She didn’t know whether to direct her anger at him or herself. She had absolutely no idea what to do with the guilt she’d been feeling.
Not even her parents knew about her pregnancy. Phoenix couldn’t tell them before telling Carter but then she never got to tell Carter. Savannah knew about the miscarriage. She was the one Phoenix called when she woke up to gut-wrenching cramps and blood-covered sheets. She’d sworn Savannah to secrecy back then.
Phoenix looked at the time on her cell phone. She managed to reach her office without running into anyone. She had arrived early but expected Indra and Dean to be around. Getting settled, she put on some music, turned it down low and started up her laptop. Coming back to work after being away for two weeks was wonderful, but the four hundred emails in her inbox made her wish she has checked in a few times while she was out.
A knock on her office door pulled her attention away from the emails. Indra stuck her head in and then stepped all the way into the room. “Hey! How was the trip?”
“It was—” Phoenix thought about all that had transpired, from the announcement that Carter was going to be the best man to her accident, reconnecting with Carter and things she’d learned “—part amazing, part interesting.”
“You look tanned and refreshed.”
“Thanks. I still haven’t recovered from jet lag. If I start sleepwalking don’t trip me.”
“Ha!” Indra laughed. “I wanted to drop in and say hello. Dean and I have to fly out to the Bay Area for meetings. I’ll be back midweek. I know you’re just getting back but do you think you’ll have an answer for me?” Indra tilted her head. “We’d really love for you to join us.”
Phoenix felt like a belt was tightening around her chest. “I’m working on it.”
“Good. Call me if you need me. We’ll do a video call with the team with updates after all of our meetings. See you when we get back.”
“Safe travels,” Phoenix said and smiled. As soon as Indra left and shut the door, the smile fell off Phoenix’s face.
Phoenix had two weeks left to make one of the biggest decisions of her life. She’d visited California a dozen times and loved it but had no interest in living there. If she didn’t go, she needed to find a new job. The idea of injecting herself into the job market search was another headache she didn’t look forward to.
Just then, her phone rang. It was her mother, letting her know that their father’s surgery date was pushed up. She remembered how carefully he walked in Fiji. Her mother wanted everyone to make sure they were available the evening of the surgery to see their father. Phoenix made the adjustment on her calendar and her phone rang again. Phoenix cocked her head to the side and shook it.
“Hello, Brent.” If she didn’t answer he would keep calling.
“You didn’t answer my text. I really need to talk to you tonight. Can I come by?”
She flicked her gaze upward. “Meet me at Mona’s at seven.”
“Thanks. See you there...” Brent paused. “I miss you.”
“I have to go, Brent. See you later.” Phoenix ended the call.
Brent’s words didn’t make her miss him. They made her think of Carter. She missed his presence. She wondered how he was dealing with the news about the baby since they’d never spoken after that. She’d been wondering since she boarded her flight back home. Carter was hurt and so was she. Phoenix wondered if the weight of their decisions to hold on to this information for so long weighed as heavily on him. She was tired of considering all the possible scenarios in her head. If they had talked, perhaps they would have been married now.
