The Legacy of Eve, page 12
‘I don’t blame you.’
‘Don’t forget to call your dad today, okay?’
‘I will,’ she promised. She watched as Gabe headed to the bathroom and then she grabbed her phone and checked Instagram. She’d posted a couple of photos of the new house the previous evening and she had thirty-two likes. She sipped her tea and scrolled through her feed, until she was awake enough to get up and dressed. As she was locking up the flat, her dad called. She considered letting it ring out but she knew she had to face him eventually.
‘Hi, Dad.’
He didn’t beat around the bush. ‘I’m calling to say sorry. I honestly had no idea that I still had those old photos. It breaks my heart that I upset you like that.’
‘I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have had a go.’
‘If I’ve been acting a little strange, or reluctant to talk, it’s because I’ve been thinking a lot about the past recently and it’s not that easy for me to revisit.’
‘I get that. But is there anything you’re not telling me? Perhaps something that you didn’t want me to know about as a child in case it upset me?’
After a few seconds, he said, ‘No, Annie, there’s nothing.’
‘Are you sure because I’m a big girl now and I can take it. And to be honest, Dad, I’d really rather know the truth.’
When he spoke again, he sounded distant. ‘We’ve all done things in the past that we regret. Some more than others.’
Why was he talking in riddles? ‘What are you talking about, Dad?’
His tone changed, without warning. ‘Annie, you need to stop pushing me on this. There’s nothing to tell you, how many more times can I say it?’
‘But Dad…’
‘There’s nothing.’
She sighed. ‘Fine.’
‘So, are we okay? You and me?’
‘I guess so.’ She was just about to ring off when she remembered something. ‘Can I keep those photos? Of Mum?’
He hesitated for a split second. ‘Sure, they’ll be waiting for you next time you come over.’
‘Thanks.’
‘I love you so much, Annie, you know that, right?’
‘Of course I do.’
‘If there’s ever anything I can do to help at all, well… I’m here, okay?’
‘I know.’
Annie hung up. Perhaps she was being cruel, pushing her dad like she had. She’d been so fixated on her own need to know more that she hadn’t considered the impact on him. Something still bothered her though. The black eye, the other man. Her dad had explanations for them all, but it didn’t quite add up. There was more to it than he was telling her, she could feel it. But if he was keeping secrets from her then why? Who was it that he was trying to protect?
‘Annie, if I have to tell you one more time to stop lifting boxes, I’m going to lose my mind,’ Gabe said as he passed her on the garden path, heading back towards the car.
‘Last one, I promise,’ Annie called back, as she carried the box through the house, up the stairs and into what would be the nursery. Against all odds, the builders and decorators had finished in time and the room, like the rest of the house, sparkled with fresh paint and fitted carpets. The new radiators they’d had installed had been turned on full blast to warm up the house after months of lying empty and the brand-new bathroom gleamed. Annie stood in the room for a moment, breathing in the smell of new house, and sighed with satisfaction. Then she made her way back downstairs to see what she could do to help.
The removal men had already done most of the heavy lifting, but she and Gabe had brought over a few bits and bobs in the car. She started to make her way outside to grab some of it but she was intercepted by Gabe, who scowled at her. ‘Back inside,’ he ordered.
She turned around and made her way to the kitchen instead. There was plenty to do in here, so she began pulling crockery and cutlery from the boxes and washing them up. She was elbow-deep in suds when she heard someone calling from the open front door.
‘Coo-eeeee,’ Brian said, walking down the hallway and locating Annie in the kitchen.
‘Hey Bri,’ Annie said. ‘Make yourself useful and unpack that box for me, will you?’
‘Not until I’ve had a good nose around your new pad,’ he replied. He disappeared again, returning a few minutes later. ‘It’s amazing, Annie. Well done.’
‘There’s still loads more to do.’
‘Yeah, but you’ve made a good start.’ He lowered his voice. ‘How’s Gabe?’
‘He’s okay. He’s finally agreed terms with his current boss and he finishes on Friday. He’s had a few calls with recruiters and applied for some jobs but nothing concrete so far.’
‘Are you guys going to be okay for money?’
Annie shrugged as she rinsed a fork. ‘I hope so.’
Brian put a hand on her shoulder. ‘You need tea. Where’s the kettle then?’
‘Aren’t you supposed to be working today?’
‘I’ve got a gap between viewings.’
‘That box over there,’ Annie said, pointing. But I don’t think we’ve got any milk.’
‘Well, it’s a good job I’m here then,’ Brian said, reaching into his bag and pulling out a bottle of fresh milk, along with two huge Tupperware pots. ‘Gifts from Ian. Lasagne and chilli.’
‘Oh, he’s a saint. Thank you so much.’
Brian located the kettle, filled it up and plugged it in, before diving back into the box to look for teabags. ‘And how are you doing?’
‘Glad to be in. A bit knackered though.’
‘You look terrible if you don’t mind me saying.’
‘Thanks Bri, that’s really cheered me up.’
‘I thought pregnant women were supposed to glow.’
‘So did I. Turns out it’s a ruse to con women into making babies.’
‘You need some sleep. You’ve got bags so big under your eyes that you could fit a week’s worth of shopping into each one.’
‘As much as I’m enjoying this pep talk, any chance we can talk about something else?’
‘Sure,’ Brian agreed. ‘Are you still obsessing over your dead mother?’
‘Brian!’ Annie was outraged.
‘All this stress, it’s not good for you, honey. You need to relax. Maybe you should take some time off work. Go chill in a spa or something.’
‘Don’t you start; Lil’s already been on about me having some time off too.’
‘We care about you.’
‘I know you do. But to be honest, being at work is the only place where I can forget about everything else going on. It’s basically my version of a spa.’
‘God help you, honey, if you think Lillian Gold Estate Agents is a spa.’
‘You know what I mean. Everything else is so up in the air, it’s my only constant.’
‘Well, Ian has a theory anyway, about those photos you found of your ma.’
‘Go on.’
‘The strange man, the black eye. What if she had a violent ex who your dad rescued her from?’
‘But if that’s what happened, why wouldn’t he just tell me that?’
‘Because he wants to protect you from the horrible truth. He doesn’t want to tarnish your memory of your mum.’
‘But I have no memory, that’s the problem.’
‘Look, all I know is that your dad loves you and that if – and it’s a big if – he’s keeping secrets, it’s for your own good. I think you’ve got to trust him and let it go.’
‘You’re probably right.’
‘And in the meantime, take a load off.’
Annie looked around at the chaos. ‘Easier said than done, mate.’
‘Lil’s talking about bringing someone else in. Not just for your maternity leave but permanently. Things are picking up again.’
‘That’s good news, let’s hope they’re as good at making a brew as you are.’
‘They’re never going to fill the Annie-shaped hole that you’re leaving behind though.’
‘I’m not going forever, Bri, just for maternity leave. And it’s still weeks away.’
‘Ten weeks,’ he said huffily. ‘Not that I’m counting.’
Later that evening, as Annie and Gabe waited for Ian’s homemade lasagne to heat up, Annie created a nursery mood board on Pinterest. But her mind was elsewhere as she considered her conversation with Brian. It seemed like everyone was telling her to let the past go, to look forward not back. So why couldn’t she do it?
The timer pinged and Annie stood up, still lost in her thoughts. She opened the oven and reached in to pick up the lasagne and then screamed and recoiled, dropping the dish with a clatter. Looking down at her hands in horror, she realised that she’d forgotten to put oven gloves on. The shock was quickly replaced with searing pain, which burned through her flesh. Gabe looked up from his phone, saw her expression and almost flew across the table in his attempt to get to her as quickly as possible.
‘Put them under water,’ he instructed, pulling her towards the kitchen sink and turning on the tap so that the tepid water poured over her reddening hands. ‘What happened?’
‘I don’t know,’ she spluttered. ‘I was preoccupied, and I just shoved my hands into the oven and picked up the lasagne without even thinking about it.’
‘We should go to hospital.’
‘No, don’t be silly, it’ll be fine.’
But he was already on his phone, googling burns and pregnancy. ‘It says here that you should always seek medical attention if you burn yourself while pregnant,’ he said.
‘Gabe, I’m not going to hospital for a small oven burn, okay? Look, my hands are fine.’
He wasn’t convinced. ‘Well, I’m going to run to the chemist for some antiseptic cream at least. And if it gets any worse, we’re going straight to A & E.’
‘Fine,’ she said.
He grabbed his keys and headed for the door. ‘Will you be okay on your own?’
‘Of course, I’m not a child,’ she told him. He nodded and left.
Annie looked down at her hands. How could she have been so careless? What if she’d hurt the baby? She closed her eyes and prayed for him to kick or move – any sign that he was okay.
‘I’m so sorry little man,’ she said to her bump. ‘Mummy’s an idiot.’
The baby kicked in response to her voice, a gentle chastisement, like he was saying, It’s okay, but don’t do it again.
By the time Gabe returned, breathless from running and armed with enough medical supplies to bandage her from head to toe, she had calmed down.
‘How are they looking?’ he asked, putting the cream, bandages and paracetamol on the table and examining her hands.
‘Not bad.’
‘They haven’t blistered. Keep them under the tap for another five minutes or so and then we’ll put some cream on them. Do you want any paracetamol?’
‘Gabe,’ she said, ignoring his question. ‘I’ve been thinking about Mum.’
‘Right.’
‘I keep getting this weird feeling that there’s something Dad’s not telling me. I can’t let it go. Ian has this theory, do you want to hear it?’
Gabe’s expression hardened. ‘Not really. We’ve been over this a thousand times. Your dad’s told you everything he knows and I don’t know what more you want him to say. You’ve got to let this go, Annie. No wonder you’re having silly accidents.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You’re so distracted. It was only a matter of time before something like this happened.’
Annie didn’t know whether to be apologetic or apoplectic. ‘Are you saying I’m a liability?’
‘Yes, you are at the moment. And it’s not just me who’s noticed.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Your dad called me. He’s worried about you. And Brian had a quiet word on his way out earlier. Everyone can see that you’re not yourself.’
‘Oh, so you’re all talking about me now, are you?’
‘We’re just worried about you, Annie. You’ve got a lot on your plate.’
‘I’m doing my best, Gabe.’
His expression softened. ‘I know you are. But please, let me help you. Starting with these hands.’
‘Fine,’ she said, tetchily. She let him dry her hands carefully and apply cream to them and then she sat back down at the kitchen table while he finished dishing up the now soggy lasagne. They ate in silence and when they were finished, Gabe washed up while Annie went upstairs to use the bathroom. She sat on the side of the bath, feeling about as bereft as she had ever felt. Then she closed her eyes as the first tear fell. Once she’d started, she couldn’t stop. She cried for the stupid argument she’d had with Gabe which had ruined their first night in their dream home. She cried for her burned hands. She cried for her careless stupidity which could have hurt the baby. She cried for Gabe’s redundancy. And, finally, she cried for a mother she had never known but who she now craved with every bone in her body.
Chapter Twelve
Annie looked out of the window at the snow, falling gently to the ground and coating the parked cars with a sprinkling of white dust. She wondered if it would settle. It was only five days to go until Christmas and the prospect of it being a white one was sending the bookies into a frenzy.
‘Annie, your blood pressure is a bit high.’
Annie turned to Louise, the midwife she’d met at her first appointment. She’d seen a series of different midwives since then and had been pleased to have Louise again.
‘Have you been experiencing any headaches? Disturbed vision? Pain at the top of your tummy? Have you noticed any changes in the baby’s movements?’
Annie shook her head in response to each question.
‘Have you had high blood pressure before?’
‘No, never.’
Louise observed her carefully. ‘How are you doing, Annie?’
She laughed. ‘Well, we’ve just bought, redecorated and moved into a new house in a matter of weeks and now my boyfriend has been made redundant. So, not great.’
‘Oh gosh, that does sound a lot to take on. Last time we met, I remember you told me that your mum had died in childbirth. Did you ever find out any more about that?’
‘No. I tried, I really did, but it was so long ago that there’s no paper trail anymore. My dad couldn’t tell me any more about it either. Could this be related to my blood pressure?’
‘Probably not. Stress can cause blood pressure to rise temporarily and from what you’ve told me, you’ve been up against it. I do, however, want to keep a close eye on it so I’m going to suggest that you come in more frequently to be monitored.’
‘Why?’ Annie’s hand flew to her bump.
‘High blood pressure can sometimes be serious in pregnancy. Currently you have mild hypertension, so there’s no immediate cause for concern, but we need to stay on top of it. In the meantime, I want you to look after yourself. Slow down a bit, where you can. Make sure you take gentle exercise, like walking or swimming. Try some relaxation techniques.’
‘I will,’ Annie promised, thinking that was the end of it. But Louise continued watching her, as though she was trying to reach into her mind and see what she was thinking.
‘Are you okay, Annie?’ she asked. ‘Is there anything you want to talk about?’
‘I’m absolutely fine,’ she replied brightly, giving Louise her best smile. ‘Don’t worry about me!’
Afterwards, she sat on what she now thought of as her usual bench outside the hospital. The snow seemed to have fizzled out already, over before it had even began. She wrapped her coat and scarf tightly around her and people-watched. It was the usual hospital crowd; visitors heading in with bunches of flowers or magazines tucked under their arms; nurses helping people in wheelchairs; the die-hard smokers huddling around the entrance, ignoring the no smoking signs.
Why hadn’t she told Louise the truth? About her nightmares, her insomnia and her escalating anxiety about the impending due date? Perhaps she could have helped. But the truth was that Annie could barely find the words to explain how she was feeling. Her emotions were so jumbled up inside her that they had wrapped themselves into a tight, impenetrable ball so that she no longer knew where one began and the other one ended. And what could Louise do, really? Magic the baby out of her without having to go through the act of childbirth? Find a secret vault that would provide Annie with all the answers to the questions she had about her mother?
Her bottom was beginning to freeze to the bench, and she could barely feel her hands, so she stood up and made her way back to the car. When she arrived at the office, Lil was there alone.
‘How did it go?’ she asked.
‘Okay. I have high blood pressure,’ Annie replied.
Lil frowned. ‘That doesn’t sound good.’
‘It might not be as bad as it sounds. I just need to slow down a bit.’
‘You should take some time off work.’
‘We finish in a few days for Christmas anyway. I’ll be fine until then.’
Lil stood up and walked over to Annie’s desk. ‘Your health is more important than work.’
‘Don’t you start, I’ve already had Gabe and the midwife on at me.’
‘Well, I had some good news this morning. The new hire has just confirmed that he can start at the beginning of January, so we’ll soon have an extra pair of hands.’
‘That’s great news. But I don’t need any extra time off.’
‘Well, take the rest of today at least. Do you have any viewings?’
‘No, just follow-up calls.’
‘Send me the details and I’ll sort it out.’
Annie was about to protest but then she changed her mind. Maybe a few hours off would be a good idea after all. She could go for an afternoon swim; she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been to the pool. And on the way home she could pop to the supermarket and buy some healthy food, seeing as she was under doctor’s orders to look after herself better.
‘Are you sure?’ she asked Lil.
‘Yes, I’m sure. Take tomorrow too, if you like.’
‘I’ll be back in the morning,’ Annie said firmly, as she gathered her things. ‘Thanks Lil.’
