The Gin & Chowder Club, page 11
“All right. Thanks, Uncle Nate.”
Nate reached out to shake Asa’s hand. Asa was flustered by a sudden wave of shame and guilt, but he pushed it aside and grasped Nate’s hand, realizing how strong and honest his grip felt. “The sill is going to need a second coat. Would you like me to come by tomorrow and finish it?” he asked hopefully.
“There’s no need, Asa. I can handle it.”
“Okay.” Asa hesitated. “Well . . . is Noelle around?” he asked.
“No, she had to run to the store to pick up a few things.”
Asa immediately wondered which store. Maybe he could find her—
Nate interrupted his thoughts. “We are definitely planning to come over next week,” he said with a grin. “The thirty-first, right?”
Asa nodded. There was no way he could wait that long.
42
Asa’s truck was gone when Noelle returned. With a mixture of relief and disappointment, she carried the groceries up the walk. Hearing her steps, Nate held the screen door and reached for the bags.
“Is there more?”
“No, this is it.”
Nate opened the refrigerator and carefully placed each egg into its curved cup. He put away the milk and orange juice, and Noelle gently moved him aside to open the freezer and put away the ice cream.
“Why don’t you leave that out and I’ll have some with my cobbler?” Noelle took it back out and put it on the counter. Nate lifted off the top. “Do you want some? I’ll share,” he said with a grin.
“No . . . you have it,” she said.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
She forced a smile. “Nothing.”
He pulled her into his arms. “It doesn’t seem like nothing.”
Noelle stiffened as Nate brushed his lips down her neck. He held her close, and she squeezed her eyes closed and silently pleaded, Don’t cry, don’t cry. Whatever you do, don’t cry!
Nate kissed her cheeks and lips. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered.
“I’ve missed you too,” she managed to reply. Oh, God, what have I done? How am I ever going to do this?
Nate slowly unbuttoned her blouse, pulled it back, and softly kissed her shoulder. Noelle kept her eyes closed and prayed for forgiveness.
43
With Martha happily limping beside him, Asa walked along the beach in the late-afternoon sun. Every once in a while, the shiny black head of a seal bobbed above the surf and studied them curiously. Asa watched it until it went under again and then focused on waves farther down the shore, waiting for it to resurface. He smiled and wondered what Noelle was doing at that very moment. Perhaps making dinner or reading a book on the porch, or maybe she was lying by the pool. He pictured her, and to his dismay, hoped that she wasn’t. But what if she was? Why should Nate be the one to enjoy looking at her? Why should he be the one to touch her smooth skin? Why is he the one who lies beside her every night? Oh, God, why is he the one who gets to make love to her?
With shocking clarity, a merciless answer filled Asa’s consciousness : Because he is her husband! The answer echoed through his mind and blindsided him with yet another wave of jealousy and frustration.
“I don’t give a damn!” he shouted back, his fists clenching in fury.
44
August 31 dawned unexpectedly cool. It had been a chilly night, and the coolness of the morning air whispered of autumn. At breakfast, Samuel teased, “There is an age-old saying, you know. . . .”
Sarah chimed in, “Yes, we know: ‘Six weeks from first katy did to first frost.’ Don’t remind us! It’s still summer!” Then she looked at Asa. “You have another present—why don’t you open it?” Asa had already opened several gifts: two wool sweaters, hiking boots, a wool jacket, and a collection of poems by Robert Frost. A second book, a novel, was from his father. To Kill a Mockingbird had just come out that summer, and Samuel said he hoped Asa didn’t mind that he had read it first.
Asa opened the book and saw his father’s inscription. “I’ve heard about it, Dad. Did you like it?”
“It was very good,” Samuel answered thoughtfully. “A good lesson . . .”
Asa looked at all the gifts and then at his mother. “You know, Mom, for someone who says ‘It’s still summer,’ you’ve certainly created a conflicting theme with these presents!”
“That’s true, dear. Look at the things you’ve given him,” Samuel said.
“Well, it gets cold in New Hampshire, and I just want him to be prepared.”
“I’m already packed,” Asa teased. “I don’t have room for these things.”
“You’ll just have to make room. Now open.”
Asa started to open the package from his brother. Martha, who was nosing around the breakfast table, came over to help tear the paper away.
Asa looked at the gift and smiled. “Sermons and Soda-Water .” He held up the boxed set of three slim volumes for his parents to see.
“John O’Hara,” Sarah said thoughtfully.
“It’s in case you forget to go to church,” Isaac teased.
They all laughed and Sarah eyed him. “You’d better not!”
It felt good to laugh. It had been a long and lonely week. Even though he had spent it surrounded by friends and hanging out at the beach, Asa ached to see Noelle, to be alone with her once more. The week had dragged by, and it tortured him to realize that time was running out. He couldn’t think of any excuse to stop by the house, and every time he let himself think of Nate and Noelle alone, it drove him crazy. He tried to write, but nothing would come. Sitting at his desk, he just felt empty and lost and sad. The revolving rhythm of the lighthouse only served to further emphasize the fleeting passage of time.
Samuel stood to clear the plates. “Are you two going to be around today?”
The boys looked at their father, and Isaac replied, “Of course, Dad. Who else will pull the clam bellies for you?” He headed up the stairs to shower.
Sarah turned to Asa. “Are you really all packed?”
Asa leaned back in his chair and felt a wave of anxiety. “I think so,” he answered.
“Well, be sure,” Samuel said. “We’d like to head out first thing in the morning. Orientation is at two o’clock.”
“I still don’t see why freshmen have to arrive so much sooner than everyone else,” Asa grumbled. “Just think, Dad, if I stayed here and found a job, you wouldn’t have two tuitions to think about.”
Sarah studied him. She still hadn’t been able to put her finger on what was troubling her son, but she couldn’t help but think it was the prospect of going away. “Asa, everything will be fine. You’ll become adjusted in no time.” She followed Samuel into the kitchen, and Asa could hear them quietly talking. He leaned forward to listen.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into him lately,” he heard his mother say. “He’s been so moody and withdrawn. I honestly think he’s hiding something.”
“You worry too much,” his father answered. “I’m sure he’s just anxious about school. You know he’s not like Isaac. He’s much quieter . . . and less outgoing. He’ll find his way once he gets settled and caught up in a routine.” Samuel paused and shook his head. “And I don’t know what he could possibly be hiding—I think that’s your imagination.”
“I hope so,” she sighed.
Asa leaned back, closed his eyes, and continued to stroke the noble black head that rested contentedly on his thigh.
45
Isaac was in the driveway when Jen pulled up in the Corvair. He tucked two beers under a beach blanket and convinced her they should go for a ride before everyone else arrived. Asa seized the opportunity to move his truck down to the parking lot at Nauset Light. He had plans of his own. If anyone asked, he would just say that he was making room for all the cars. He grabbed a bottle of champagne from his father’s cellar supply and put it on ice. Placing the cooler on the passenger floor with a blanket thrown over it, he drove the truck down to the parking lot and walked back along the path that passed by the lighthouse.
Samuel was on the porch squeezing a lime into his drink when Asa came up the porch stairs. “Well, what can I get for the birthday boy?” he asked, smiling.
“I’ll have what you’re having,” Asa said, feeling bold and excited by what the evening might hold. Samuel made another drink, held it out to him, and lifted his own glass.
“Happy birthday, Asa,” he said, looking his son in the eye. “May the year ahead be full of blessings, adventure, and high marks!”
Asa laughed. “Thanks, Dad, but you’re supposed to say, ‘ ’Tis the chowdah that warms a man’s belly . . .’”
Samuel agreed with a chuckle. “Yes, that too.”
They both turned as Martha barked and struggled to pull herself up off the weathered wooden floor.
“Don’t you know me yet, you silly old girl?” Nate came up the steps and kissed Martha on the nose. He smiled, shook hands with Sam, and clapped Asa on the shoulder. “Happy birthday, Asa! It’s all downhill from here!” He turned to Samuel. “And you—you must be feeling really old!”
Samuel laughed and pointed to his glass. Nate nodded.
“Where’s that lovely wife of yours?” Samuel asked, putting ice in a glass for Nate.
“Oh, she’s coming. She has her own birthday gift, and she had to ‘fix’ it,” he said, winking at Asa. “Which reminds me.” He reached into his pocket for an envelope. “Asa, let me give these to you now before it gets crazy.” He held the envelope out to him. “I want you to know, I thought of this all on my own, and I had to get special permission from the boss to get you out of school.” He winked at Sam. “I hope you won’t miss anything too important.”
Asa looked puzzled as he opened the envelope and pulled out four tickets. The two men watched as a smile spread across Asa’s face.
“Hey! Tickets to the Sox-Orioles game!” He looked at the date. Wednesday afternoon, September 28. “Thanks, Uncle Nate. I’ll be there.”
“The other tickets are for Isaac, your dad, and me. Isaac will have to miss school and get himself to Fenway too.”
“I’m sure that won’t be a problem,” Sam said.
“You will have to come the farthest,” Nate said to Asa. “Hope you won’t mind a long bus ride.”
“I won’t mind. I think that’s Ted Williams’s last home game. I would travel any distance to be there!”
“You’re right.” He smiled. “That’s why we’re going!”
Noelle had gone into the house through the front door to fix Asa’s present and now she and Sarah came out onto the porch. Sarah hugged Nate, who was still smiling. “I told you he would like ’em,” he said to her.
“Oh, I had no doubt he would like them! Just as long as he gets all of his work done,” she said, eyeing Asa.
“I will, Mom. Don’t worry!”
Noelle stood next to Nate with her hands behind her back. Nate put his arm around her shoulder. “I don’t know if your gift is going to be able to beat mine,” he teased.
“I don’t know either,” she teased back with a grin. “We’ll just have to see.”
Noelle held out an elegantly wrapped package. “Happy birthday, Asa,” she said with a twinkle in her dark eyes.
Asa struggled to hide his emotions. “Thanks,” he said, fumbling with the ribbon. He finally managed to untie it, and Martha made her way over to help with the wrapping paper. Under the delicate tissue paper was a white cotton T-shirt with forest green piping around the neck and each sleeve. On the left chest, also in green, was the Dartmouth insignia. Asa smiled, lifted the shirt out, and realized that there was something tucked inside. He unfolded the shirt and revealed the worn cover of an old book that he had seen once before. He looked at Noelle in amazement as he reverently picked up the signed copy of Leaves of Grass that Noelle’s grandfather had given her.
“You shouldn’t give this away,” he said in disbelief.
“I want you to have it,” she said. “That way, I’ll always know it’s in good hands.” She smiled warmly at him, hoping he understood exactly what she meant. Asa’s parents and Nate seemed oblivious to the deeper meaning of their exchange.
Asa searched Noelle’s eyes. He wanted to hold her, to say so much more. Instead, he just smiled and said, “Thank you very much.”
“You are very welcome.”
Nate broke the silence. “Well, I guess it’s a toss-up.”
Asa grinned. “You are both very generous. I can’t thank you enough.”
“Why don’t you try on the shirt?” Sarah suggested as Sam handed each of the ladies a glass of wine.
Asa nodded and took the gifts up to his room. He tucked the tickets inside the book and set it on his desk. Then he unbuttoned and pulled off his shirt, threw it on the bed, and pulled on the new one. He glanced in the mirror; it was a good fit.
When he came back down, Isaac and Jen had returned and Nate was telling Isaac about the tickets. “That sounds great. I’m sure I can get away.” Isaac elbowed him. “Hey, nice shirt!”
Asa elbowed him back. “Hey, thanks!” He found his drink, took a sip, and looked around for Noelle. She was standing by the stairs. Asa walked over, leaned on the railing, and looked out at the ocean swells. Noelle turned to lean on the railing, too, and her arm brushed against his.
“Be careful,” he warned softly, “I can’t handle too much bare skin. . . .”
“Mmmm, I know.”
“Do you also know”—he hesitated and glanced around—“that I can’t get you off my mind?”
“I have that effect on men,” she teased.
“I want you so much,” he whispered.
Noelle eyed his drink. “I thought you didn’t touch that stuff.”
Asa looked down at his glass and absently wiped away the drops of condensation.
“I’m throwing caution to the wind.”
“Well, you have a long car ride tomorrow. You should take it easy.”
He gazed at her. “Noelle, I need to see you alone. Is there any way you can meet me later?”
She heard the longing in his voice and turned to look at him. She couldn’t help noticing how tan his face looked against the snowy white of the T-shirt and how bleached the summer sun had made his hair. She realized that he must have just had it cut, because there was a line of fair skin around his neck and in front of his ears.
“Nice haircut,” she teased, all the while thinking how good he looked. His eyes searched hers for an answer, and she knew she would have to give him one. She looked away, knowing he would be crushed if she declined.
“Asa, I—”she began to answer, but was interrupted.
“Noelle, Asa, turn around.” They turned and a light flashed. Grinning, Isaac said, “Mom wants some pictures—you know, for posterity.”
Noelle said, “Well, you can do better than that.” She put her arm around Asa, and he draped his arm over her shoulders. They smiled this time, and Isaac snapped the shutter again.
“Okay, perfect. Asa, come on,” Isaac called. “The guys are here, and we’re going out back.” Earlier that afternoon, Isaac and Asa had set up the volleyball net out by the picnic table in the yard. Isaac had also filled a cooler and set up some chairs.
“You’d better go.” Noelle nodded after Isaac.
“I will,” he said, waiting.
“Asa, I don’t know if I can get away, and honestly, I don’t know if it’s a good idea.” She paused and looked around. Then she looked in his eyes. “You have no idea how much I’m going to miss you—all of you,” she whispered with a sad smile. “And how much I would love to be with you again, especially tonight, but then what?” She shook her head and softly murmured, “ ‘More dark and dark our woes . . .’ ”
Asa closed his eyes and tried to control his endless roller-coaster ride of emotions.
Noelle put her hand on his shoulder, but then she withdrew it. “It’s so hard to stand here and not touch you,” she whispered. “Asa, please understand, if I don’t come, it’s not because I don’t love you—it’s because I do.”
He looked into her eyes. “Okay,” he said. He finished his drink and turned to go down the stairs.
46
After the sun went down, an autumn chill swept in. Gradually, the adults pulled on sweaters and migrated inside to warm themselves with another bowl of chowder. The sudden change in temperature surprised everyone and made them realize that the hazy summer days would soon be just a memory. In the cool night air, even the incessant scratching of crickets and katydids slowed. Isaac and Asa had built a fire in the outdoor fireplace, and the kids were all warming their hands and talking about their school plans when Sarah called them in for cake.
Isaac helped light the candles, and Sarah carried the cake in as everyone gathered around to sing. Noelle watched Asa’s face in the warm glow of the candles. She looked around at the group of friends who circled him, and her heart ached as she watched Nate across the way, smiling and singing too.
When the song ended, Isaac teased, “Wish for something good!”
Asa hesitated, looked up, and caught Noelle’s eye. He gave her a quick half-smile and blew out the candles. In the darkness, Noelle knew what he had wished for, and with all her heart, she wished it could come true.
Cake was being handed around the room when there was a tentative knock at the front door. Samuel opened it and found two pretty young women standing there.
“Hi, I’m Kate. Is Isaac here?”
Samuel invited them in. “He sure is,” he said, reaching out his hand. “I’m his dad.”
The taller of the two girls took his hand and then introduced her friend. “This is Jess. Isaac told us you were having a party tonight . . . if we wanted to come.”
“We are. Come right in and I’ll find him.”
The girls came in, and Sarah greeted them with a piece of cake. Asa looked over and immediately knew who the taller girl was. She was slender and very pretty. She had long dark hair and was wearing a Boston College sweater. Isaac had described her to a tee. Asa chuckled to himself and wondered just how his brother would handle this one.
