Say You'll Be My Jaan, page 4
She had just started skimming a sample wedding toast when her phone dinged with a text message.
Hello Meghna,
This is Karthik. I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry I called so early, but I have an urgent matter to discuss with you and would prefer to do it face-to-face. Please call me back if you are free or let me know some other times you would be available for a video call.
She read the message. Then read it again. She couldn’t believe Karthik had been the one calling. But the message sounded just like him: cold, to the point, and exacting. She was tempted to ignore him. It would serve him right. After all, she didn’t owe him a conversation. She pulled the speech back up and tried to read it, but her mind wandered. Why had he reached out? What could possibly be so urgent? Why did it have to be face-to-face?
She thought it over for a second, then reached up to wipe the remnants of last night’s acne cream off her chin. She wouldn’t be able to relax until she found out what he wanted. She shook her hair out of the bun she’d slept in and checked her appearance with the computer camera. Passable. She’d looked better, but it was too early for her to get out of bed for any reason. She smoothed the worst of the frizz with her hands and tucked her curls behind her ears. Before she could think too much more about it, she called him back.
He answered immediately, his face filling the screen.
“Meghna,” he said. “Thanks for returning my call.”
She blinked. When they’d met in person there had been a normal amount of distance between them, but now they were eye-to-eye, just inches apart. Only separated by a screen. She hadn’t mentally prepared for this. And how was it possible that he looked even better than she had remembered?
She forced her gaze away from his face, trying to focus on something other than his warm brown eyes, the sharpness of his jaw, the surprising fullness of his lips. She took in the diplomas hanging on the wall. His white button-down shirt. The large windows that showed a hint of the skyscrapers behind him.
She frowned. “Are you already at work?”
“It’s an hour later over here,” he replied.
“Right,” she said. “An hour later. So, it’s seven-thirty?”
“Yes,” he said.
“Do you normally start work at seven-thirty?”
“Sometimes,” he said. He seemed to notice where she was for the first time. “You’re in bed.”
“Yeah. A normal place to be this early. At least for some of us …”
His mouth tightened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ve actually been up for a while. And I live close to work so I am not in any rush. Besides, you said it was urgent.”
He straightened. “Yes, it is.” He cleared his throat. “I should start by saying that everything I said last weekend is still true. I don’t plan on ever getting married.”
“Okay,” she said slowly.
“That said, I see some benefit to being engaged and wanted to know whether you felt the same way. I think we could reach a mutually beneficial agreement, so we should discuss your interest and possibly negotiate some terms.”
He paused, as if waiting for her to respond, but Meghna couldn’t make heads or tails out of what he was saying. What agreement? What could they have to negotiate?
“Karthik, I’m not following,” she said.
“I’m proposing,” he said.
“Proposing what?”
He exhaled loudly. “I’m asking you to marry me.”
“What?” Was he joking? Mr. I’ll-Never-Get-Married was proposing? To her?
“Not really marry me,” he quickly added. “Just to say you’ll marry me. And to tell other people that you’ll marry me.”
That confirmed it. He was joking. Or the lack of sleep was giving her hallucinations. It had to be one or the other.
She stared at him for a moment, waiting for the punch line. But he didn’t add anything further. He just looked at her expectantly, waiting for an answer.
“You’re proposing to me?”
“Yes,” he said.
“But you don’t want to marry me.”
“No, of course not.”
She gave a humorless laugh and rubbed her forehead. “Right, of course. How silly of me to think you’d want to marry me when you’re asking to marry me.”
He winced. “I’m sorry. I’m not explaining this well.”
“You’re not explaining it at all!”
“I want us to be engaged, but not actually get married,” he said.
Like that makes any more sense. “Why?” she asked. “Why would we do that?”
“That’s why I was calling. To see if there’s any reason that would appeal to you. You already know what I promised my mother. I’ve been thinking that if I was engaged, I wouldn’t have to go to these meetings anymore. I wouldn’t have to travel every weekend. And I could save myself some stress.”
She took in what he was saying. “You want a fake engagement?”
“Yes, exactly,” he said, a note of relief in his voice.
“To get you out of the promise to your mom?”
“Yes.”
Her head spun. “But what would I …. Why would I agree to that?”
He paused. “I was hoping there might be something you would want. Something you could get out of it. Maybe it would get your family off your back? Take away some of their pressure to get married?”
She considered it for a moment. Her parents would like to see her married, but they’d never really pressured her. They just wanted her to be happy. Wanted her to find love.
Of course, they wanted a lot of things for her. And so far, she’d done nothing but let them down. Not like her brother, Samir. He’d followed in their footsteps. Fulfilled their dreams by becoming an engineer. Made them proud.
But this … For the first time there was something she could do that Samir hadn’t managed to yet. By getting engaged, she could finally make her parents happy. What would it be like to see them actually be pleased with her choices instead of disappointed?
She let herself imagine it before her daydream came grinding to a sudden halt. What had she been thinking? She wouldn’t actually be making them proud. None of it would be real. It’d all be a lie. And when the fake engagement ended, or even worse, if they found out the truth, they’d be just as disappointed in her as they’d always been.
She shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
“Look, I know it’s a lot. But all I’m asking is that you consider it. And not just as a favor to me. I’m willing to be flexible. To make sure you get whatever it is you want. Or need. Please. Just think about it for a little longer,” he pleaded.
In the very short amount of time she’d known Karthik, this was the most emotion he had shown. He sounded desperate. Despite her better judgment, she started to think about it. Could she have any use for a fake fiancé? She was pulling up her web browser, about to search for any advice articles on pretend engagements, when the last item she had been reading snagged her attention. The sample best man speech.
It would be nice if she didn’t have to go to Seth’s wedding alone. Even nicer if she could bring a “fiancé” with her.
“I do need a plus-one for a wedding,” she said slowly.
“Done. Absolutely. What else?”
Meghna paused. She hadn’t expected Karthik to agree that quickly. Without asking any questions at all. It made her stop and think about whether she should be asking any questions of her own.
“Why can’t we just say we’re dating?” she asked a moment later. “Isn’t that what people normally do now?” She didn’t think anyone got engaged right after these arranged meetings anymore. At least, Ankita and Rishi had dated for a while before he’d proposed. Meghna had assumed that was the norm.
Karthik opened his mouth, then closed it. He was quiet for a moment, then shook his head.
“That won’t work for me. It needs to be an engagement.”
“Why?”
“It just does,” he said with a stubborn lift of his chin.
She shook her head. “I don’t think my parents are going to buy that I’m getting engaged to someone I just met.” Not to mention she wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about lying to them about something this serious.
“Tell them we’re doing a long engagement. Really long. Just say that my family is more traditional but that we’ll basically be dating and getting to know each other while we plan the wedding.”
“Is that why we can’t just date? Because of your family?”
He blinked, then nodded. “Yes. Because of my family.”
Meghna sighed. The whole thing seemed incredibly messy.
“Is there anything else you’d want? Anything else I could do? Something I could help you with?” Karthik asked, seeming to sense the hesitancy on her end.
She thought it over for a second. “Just the wedding, really. Well, I’m part of the wedding party, so there may be some other events you’d have to go to.”
“Not a problem,” he said. He waited a beat. “So, you’re saying yes?”
She paused as she imagined showing up to Seth’s wedding with this incredibly handsome man on her arm. Introducing him to everyone as her fiancé. Introducing him to Seth. The thought of going to this wedding alone had been killing her, and bringing a fiancé was a lot better than bringing some random plus-one. It would communicate that she was completely over Seth. That she had someone who loved her. Who wanted to marry her. Even if Seth didn’t.
Plus, Karthik would be in New York the whole time so it wasn’t like they’d really get in each other’s way. They wouldn’t have to keep up appearances constantly.
“How long would we be doing this for?” she asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, we’re not going to actually get married, right? So, I’m thinking we need an end date.”
“Right,” he said slowly. “That makes sense.” He took a deep breath. “Well, the deal with my mother was for a year, so …”
Yeah, no. “I’m not doing this for a year.” She chewed her lip as she thought it over. “Three months,” she said. “Until my friend’s wedding. Then we’re done.”
“That’s not enough time. My mom will just restart the meetings and I’ll be back to square one.”
Meghna’s eyebrows rose. “You really think she’ll make you do more meetings after the engagement ends?”
“Why wouldn’t she? I promised her—”
“A year. I know. But with the broken engagement … I mean, it’d be believable if you were heartbroken. If you told her you needed time. And space. If you said you weren’t ready to meet anyone new.”
A few seconds of silence passed. Then he nodded crisply. “Okay. Three months. Do we have a deal?”
He sat very still, waiting for her answer. No hint of emotion on his face. He was stoic. Calm. Composed. And his arms were crossed, making the muscles there more visible. God, even his forearms were hot.
“Yes,” she said. “We do.”
Surprise, or something like it, flashed across his face, but he quickly masked it. “Good,” he said with another nod. “I think this will work out very well for the both of us. I haven’t drafted any terms yet, but I could send something around by the end of the week.”
“What kind of terms?”
He shifted in his seat. “I … I’m not sure,” he said. “But I’m sure we’ll need more. Beyond what we just discussed. Eventually.”
She grinned. “I’m sure we will.” And to her surprise, he smiled back.
“Nice shirt,” he said.
“Thanks,” she said instinctively. She glanced down and almost laughed. She had forgotten she’d slept in this. It was one of her favorites: bright blue with two cartoon bananas talking to each other.
“Can you even read it?” she asked.
“I can make some of it out,” he said. “Just enough to get the joke.”
“You know Hindi?” she asked with some surprise. She wouldn’t have expected Karthik to know any Hindi at all. His family was Tamil, just like her father’s side of the family, so if they spoke anything besides English at home, it would be Tamil. Meghna only knew Hindi because it was her mother’s native language, and even then, she could only understand some of it. She had grown up speaking mostly English, since that was the only language her parents had in common.
“I only know a few words,” he said. “But I’ve heard this one before.”
On the shirt, one banana asked, “Why am I always alone?,” and the other answered, “Because you are a kela.” “Kela” was Hindi for “banana” and “akela” meant “alone.” It was a silly play on words, but it had been a gag gift from her brother. And it had started a fun tradition.
“My brother and I have a bunch of these,” she explained. “He found one and thought it would be funny to give it to me for my birthday, so I found another one and sent it to him. Now we can’t stop. We’ve even started designing our own. I’m thinking about making one with two glasses of milk and some joke involving “doodh” and “dude,” but I haven’t figured it out yet.”
The corners of Karthik’s mouth tilted up, and the tension in Meghna’s shoulders started to fade. Maybe this would work out for both of them. Maybe somewhere beneath that yummy, stern, Captain Von Trapp-esque exterior, there was some warmth. Maybe he actually had a sense of humor. Maybe …
“Well, I’ll let you go, Meghna. I appreciate you taking the time to speak with me. We can circle back on those terms this weekend and discuss how we want to inform our families. Talk to you soon.” The call abruptly ended, and his face disappeared from the screen.
Or maybe not.
4
Karthik buried his head in his hands. That had been a train wreck. His carefully prepared script had gone out the window the moment the call began. He’d tried to recover, but his brain had switched into auto-pilot once he’d noticed she was calling from bed. In her pajamas. He couldn’t even remember half of what he’d said. Though he did remember lying to her. Well, half lying.
The reason he needed to be engaged was because of his family. Maybe it wasn’t due to tradition like he’d said, but he’d already told his dad he was getting engaged to Meghna and he couldn’t take it back now. Not without seeing some smug, superior look on his father’s face.
At least it had all worked out in the end. He just hoped she wouldn’t change her mind.
“You all right, man?”
Karthik lifted his head as Paul, one of this semester’s college interns, entered his office and placed Karthik’s usual coffee order on his desk. Paul had started at the engineering firm just a few weeks ago, but after his fourth day on the job, he’d dropped his major. Apparently, that was all the time he needed to be sure that he never wanted to be an engineer. But since it had been too late for him to find another internship, he’d asked to stick around. He’d been relegated to lunch orders and coffee runs but didn’t seem to mind. As long as his paycheck cleared every week, he was fine doing whatever they asked of him.
Karthik picked up the steaming-hot lavender latte in front of him and took a sip. He closed his eyes briefly, the tense muscles in his shoulders relaxing as the lavender scent calmed his earlier anxiety. He wouldn’t have ever thought to try this flavor on his own, but Paul had mixed up the drink orders last week, and instead of his normal black coffee, he’d gotten this instead. Now Karthik looked forward to the subtle, floral flavor every morning.
He took another sip, then answered Paul’s question.
“I just got engaged,” he said.
“That’s awesome,” Paul said, balancing a drink carrier with the remaining orders in one hand and raising his other for a high five. He quickly withdrew it. “It is awesome, right? You don’t look like you think it’s awesome.”
Great. If the office intern could already see through his fake engagement, he didn’t have any hope of convincing his mother.
“No, it’s really wonderful,” Karthik said. “I’m very happy.”
“Uh-huh,” Paul responded, clearly unconvinced. He set the drink carrier on the floor and plopped into one of the chairs in front of Karthik’s desk.
“May I?” he asked.
Karthik nodded, a bit bemused.
“This happened to a buddy of mine,” Paul said. “He was obsessed with this girl in our Advanced Calculus class. He asked her for help with homework, made up excuses to study with her, went to office hours just because she did. Finally, on the last day of class, he just went for it and asked her out. She immediately said yes, and a few days later, he realized he wasn’t even that into her. Said it felt like buying the latest DLC and realizing it didn’t live up to the hype.”
“DLC?”
“You know, downloadable content.”
Karthik frowned.
“Like in Call of Duty,” Paul explained. “You know how you can download extension packs that get you extra items or characters …”
Paul continued, going into details that Karthik could barely follow, but from what he understood, he didn’t care for the comparison. “She’s my fiancée,” he said, cutting Paul off. “Not a … a … video game.”
Paul lifted his hands in surrender. “Hey, man, I agree with you. That’s just the way he put it.”
“Well, I don’t feel that way. I’m glad she said yes. Actually, I needed her to say yes.”
Paul cocked his head to the side. “That’s pretty romantic, actually.”
Karthik resisted the urge to roll his eyes. His “proposal” had been far from romantic. But it wasn’t supposed to be. This was a logical, mutually beneficial agreement between two adults. Nothing more.
“I mean, I’d want to feel that way if I was asking someone to marry me,” Paul continued. “I definitely don’t feel like that now. If my girlfriend said she wanted to get married, I don’t know how I’d respond.” He swallowed, unease settling across his features. “I’d probably throw up.”
