Say You'll Be My Jaan, page 11
And she had seemed happy with his efforts. She’d thought they’d been successful in convincing everyone that they were really together. But the true test, Meghna had said, would be tonight. She had warned him that after dinner, they would all be going dancing. She’d said the words with an apology in her eyes and promised that they wouldn’t have to dance for too long. He’d been confused, but had just nodded politely. She seemed to think he hated dancing, and he wasn’t sure what had given her that impression.
“Hey! You ready to go?” Meghna’s voice called from behind him.
He turned around. Meghna wore something black and slinky and shiny. Her hair was piled high on the top of her head, and she was walking on the kind of spiky, skinny heels that made him wonder how the people who wore them weren’t constantly breaking their ankles. She beamed her signature megawatt smile, sending a jolt through his chest. She was gorgeous.
But of course she was. He had already known that. Had already admitted to himself that he was attracted to her. This wasn’t anything new. He could push this temporary, nonsensical feeling to the side. He was here for a purpose. And he wouldn’t get distracted. He took a deep breath.
“I’m ready,” he said.
“Great. Seth texted to let me know the guys are running late.” She rolled her eyes. “Typical. Do you want to wait for them?”
“We can. Really, whatever you want to do.”
She raised a shoulder. “We can wait, but I’m worried we’re going to miss our reservation.”
“Let’s go, then,” he said. His stomach chose that exact second to let out a growl.
She laughed. “And it seems like you’re pretty hungry.”
He would normally be embarrassed by something like that, but for some reason, he didn’t feel embarrassed at all. “I guess I am,” he said lightly.
The restaurant was only a short drive away, and they made it there well within their reservation window. When they sat down at their table, Meghna checked her phone and grimaced.
“They haven’t even left the hotel yet,” she said. “Should we just go ahead and order a couple things?”
“That’s fine.”
Their server stopped by a few moments later, and Meghna confidently ordered a slew of appetizers and drinks for the table. Karthik stared at her, slightly dumbfounded.
“How did you know what they’ll want?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I’ve known most of them forever.”
“Right,” he said. “I forgot you’ve known Seth since college.”
Her eyes darted to his. “How did you know that?”
“Your brother mentioned it.”
The corners of her mouth pulled tight. “My brother has a big mouth. But yes, I met Seth in college. And Eric and Mark. They were his roommates.”
“How did you guys become friends?”
She waved a hand dismissively. “It’s a boring story.”
“I’m sure it’s not,” he said politely, trying not to seem too curious. But he was. He still couldn’t figure out how the two could be friends. Why she’d bother putting up with someone like Seth.
“We met in a class,” Meghna said. “A writing class. And just kind of clicked.”
“Clicked?”
“Yeah.” She drummed her fingers on the table. “He was kind of the first person I ever shared my writing with. The first person who ever believed in it. He’s a writer too, so he just … got it.”
Karthik inwardly rolled his eyes, but maintained his usual neutral façade. “Right. He was telling me earlier all about the songs he’s written.”
Meghna’s eyes brightened. “He’s a really talented songwriter.”
“So it seems,” he said evenly.
“I’m sure you’ve heard something of his.”
“I don’t think so. I didn’t recognize any of the ones he mentioned.”
“Really? Not even ‘Into the Desert’? That one’s really famous. It’s on the radio all the time. He used to write these serious, moody ballads in college, but his first song that really sold was kind of this country-pop crossover, so that’s what he mostly puts out now.”
A spark of irritation flared beneath his breastbone. “I’ve never heard it.”
“Huh. Okay. I’ll send it to you later. It’s pretty good. And it took him forever to write it. We went back and forth on that one for months.”
“‘We’?”
“What?” she asked, her brows knit in confusion.
“You said ‘we.’”
“Oh. Well, he wrote it. I just gave him my thoughts. Sent some edits.”
“Hmm.” Karthik frowned. He still couldn’t understand why she would waste her time, let alone her talent, on Seth. Some of his thoughts must have shown on his face, because Meghna responded as if she could hear them.
“I do the same thing,” she said, a defensive note in her voice. “I send him my writing too. He gives great feedback.”
“That’s nice,” he said, though he didn’t think it was nice at all.
“It is nice.”
They looked at each other for a moment, the air thick with sudden tension.
“Sorry we’re late, Meg,” Seth said, finally joining them. The other guys followed him and sat down at the table.
Meg? Did he call her Meg? Karthik had never heard anyone refer to her by that nickname before. Is that what she liked to be called? She’d never told him to call her that. He took a sip of his water, trying to suppress another twinge of annoyance.
“That’s fine,” Meghna said, turning to Seth with a warm smile. “I ordered all your favorites.”
Seth shot her a grin, and that twinge grew into something more. Something hot and dark and bitter. During the rest of the dinner, Karthik tried to ignore it. He enjoyed the food, forced a laugh at all the appropriate times, and even managed to engage Seth’s reclusive cousin in a conversation about the high-fantasy, multi-book series he’d been reading on the beach. But that feeling lingered, burning brighter whenever Meghna and Seth shared an inside joke or laughed at Eric and Mark’s stories about their wild days in college.
“Enough,” Meghna told Eric, shaking her head and holding on to her stomach. “I can’t take any more.”
“But that wasn’t even the best one. Seth, remember that night we—”
“I have no clue where this is going, but I don’t think it’s anywhere good,” Seth cut in with an easy smile. He looked over at Meghna and slung an arm across the back of her chair. “So, best man, where to next?”
That burning sensation in Karthik’s stomach flared, but he took a deep breath and pushed it to the side. He listened as Meghna explained their plans for the night, anticipation quickly replacing the irritation that had been growing within him. They were about to go dancing, and he honestly could not wait.
Meghna blinked, the flashing lights in the club making her feel like she’d stepped into the middle of a lightning storm. She wasn’t a huge fan of the ambiance, but she and Seth had picked this place for the DJ, and she couldn’t deny that the music was good. The electronic sound flowed through her, her shoulders involuntarily shaking to the beat.
Their group split in two, half heading to the bar to get a round of shots and the others heading straight to the dance floor.
She was tempted to get right to the dancing, but waited, waving at Karthik to lower his head so he could hear her over the music.
“Hey, you don’t have to dance for long if you don’t want to. Or at all. I bet Seth’s cousin won’t.” She pointed toward the bar, where Seth’s cousin sat, using his phone as a flashlight to read his book. “You can sit over there and I’ll come find you when we’re ready to head out.”
Karthik straightened, his forehead creasing. “You don’t want me to dance with you?”
“No. No, it’s not that. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to.” Meghna tilted her head to the side. “Do you want to? Dance, I mean. With me?”
He nodded once, the movement sharp and pointed.
Surprised delight hummed through her veins.
Well, she definitely wasn’t going to turn down a chance to feel his arms around her. Even if he was only being kind. Or doing it for the sake of their arrangement. She encircled his wrist with one hand, pulling him toward an open spot on the floor.
Once there, she turned to face him.
And her jaw dropped.
Karthik always moved in such a … controlled manner. Back straight, arms at his sides, chin up. She’d imagined that his dancing would be similar. Stiff. Robotic.
She couldn’t have been more wrong.
An ease settled over his shoulders the moment he stepped on the dance floor. He extended a hand to her, and before she could even take in what was happening, he twirled her. The room spun. Then he moved in a series of twists and turns that she normally wouldn’t have been able to follow, but his hands on her waist guided her, expertly moving her through them.
She gaped up at him. Who was this man? His eyes shone with amusement, and he quirked a brow at her.
It was like she didn’t know him at all.
“You never told me you could dance!”
“You never asked.” He tightened the arm behind her back and dipped her. Her vision briefly turned upside down, and then she was back, safely right side up, his arms holding her firmly and securely.
“Besides,” he whispered, his breath hot on her ear, “you could have known sooner.” He slowed their movements, gradually making their steps smaller. “I asked you to dance at Ankita’s party.” He took hold of both her hands and placed them behind his neck. “You said no.”
And boy, was she regretting that decision.
“Where did you learn all this?” she asked, wonder in her voice.
“I took classes.” A litany of questions filled her head, but his hands slid from the sides of her waist to her lower back, and she found herself unable to vocalize them. Unable to vocalize anything at all.
“Speaking of Ankita’s party,” he said, leaning his head down toward hers. “You never told me what happened after.”
“After?” she asked, looking up at him, a bit dazed.
“After they kissed.”
The word “kissed” zipped down her body like an electric shock. Her eyes involuntarily went to his lips. His full, soft, utterly kissable lips.
“Kissed?” she asked.
The hands on her lower back tightened slightly, almost bunching the silky material of her dress.
“Yes,” he said, his voice lower than it was before. “After Ankita and Samir kissed.”
“Oh.” Her brother’s name was like a splash of cool water. “Things are fine.” She smiled wanly. “They’re figuring things out.”
He nodded, watching her closely. “That’s good.” They swayed for a moment, looking at each other, not saying anything at all.
“Are you good?” he asked softly. “With Ankita and Samir, I mean.”
No. She wasn’t good. Her friendship with Ankita felt so fragile. Like the slightest blow would send the whole thing tumbling down. And Samir … She hadn’t spoken to him since he’d gone back to India.
“I think so,” she hedged.
He didn’t say anything, but one of his hands slid up her spine, rubbing her back in small circles. She relaxed, leaning farther into his body until she was so close that it just made sense to rest her head against his chest. His hand stopped for a second, then continued moving in slow, lazy patterns. She stayed there for a while, enjoying the sound of his steady heartbeat against her ear.
“Meghna.”
“Hmm.” She reluctantly lifted her face up to his.
“Are you feeling sleepy?” he asked gently.
“No,” she said stubbornly, dropping her head back onto his chest. Truthfully, she was tired, but she didn’t want to leave this moment. It was like they were inside a bubble. Inside something magical and wonderful and outside of time. Somehow, she knew it would all burst the second they left.
He let out a loud breath that sounded suspiciously like a laugh. “I think you are,” he said. He waited a moment or two, then lifted her chin. “Do you want to go back?”
Meghna barely heard the question. His face was hovering right over hers, his lips so close to her own. If she stood on her tiptoes, she’d be able to kiss him.
“No.” The drowsiness from earlier disappeared. “I want to stay.” She bit her bottom lip, running her teeth over it before releasing it.
His eyes blazed with something bright and intense, traveling quickly over her face before stopping at her mouth. He stared for a moment and swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down in the most bewitching way.
And then, to Meghna’s extreme disappointment, he looked away, his gaze flickering around until it fixed on a spot above her shoulder. The brightness in his eyes dimmed, and she was tempted to wrap her hands around his jaw. To physically turn him back to her. To force that focused, intense, intoxicating expression back onto his face.
But before she could act on the impulse, his hand curled against the small of her back, drawing her in until her chest was flush against his. His eyes shot toward her lips, then back up. Determination was written across his face. Her heart pounded. He moved a millimeter closer.
“Is this okay?” he asked, so close that their breath intermingled.
“Yes,” she said, lifting slightly onto her toes.
Their lips met. But it wasn’t the passionate kiss that had been haunting Meghna’s thoughts for the last few days. Karthik merely brushed his lips against hers, held for a second, then pulled back. It was over before she could even register that it had begun.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “Seth was looking over.”
His words were like a punch to the stomach. It wasn’t real. Of course it wasn’t real.
“Right,” she said. “That’s what I assumed.” She flashed him a perfunctory smile. “Quick thinking.”
He watched her, but didn’t say anything. His eyes darted to her lips again.
She licked them nervously. “Guess we didn’t need to practice after all,” she said, trying to lighten the mood. And hide the fact that she had thought, just for a moment, that he had actually wanted to kiss her.
But he didn’t laugh at her joke. Instead, he lifted his hand and placed it on the curve of her cheek. Meghna froze.
“I don’t know,” he said. “Maybe we should rehearse it a few more times.” He tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear.
She swallowed. “I guess practice makes perfect.”
He leaned his face back down, erasing the little distance between them. “Exactly.” He cradled her jaw with his hand and tilted her head. And then he kissed her. Actually kissed her.
Meghna parted her lips, instinctively tightening her arms around his neck and dragging him closer. He let out a sound of approval, and his lips moved against hers with new intensity. This was more than she had imagined it would be. All-consuming in a way she hadn’t expected. There was nothing beyond the feel of his stubble, rough and coarse against her skin. His lips, somehow both firm and soft, pressing against her temple, her cheek, her jaw. The hard plane of his chest crushing against hers. His harsh breaths as they broke for a second, then came back for more. She loved it. She never wanted it to stop.
But it did. It had to. Karthik brushed his lips once, twice, and a third time against hers, then pulled back slowly. Her mind spun and she took a moment to catch her breath. Once she was slightly in control of herself, she glanced at Karthik, trying to gauge what he was thinking, but she couldn’t read him. His face was shuttered. It was the way he usually looked, but now it was jarring. So cold. And hard. And distant. She removed her arms from his neck and took a step back.
Whatever fluidity Karthik’s body had contained during their dancing had disappeared. His usual posture had returned: his shoulders tight, arms at his sides, chin up. The bubble had popped and there was no getting it back. She felt a sudden sense of loss.
“I’m sorry,” Karthik said.
“For what?”
He shook his head. “We shouldn’t have done that.”
He regretted it? Regretted kissing her? Meghna’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but she was determined not to let it show.
“Why? It was all just practice, right? It didn’t mean anything.” She patted his arm. “There’s nothing to feel sorry about.”
He looked away, not meeting her eyes. “No, I took it too far.”
“You didn’t,” she said firmly.
“We shouldn’t do it again.”
“Fine.” She was exasperated at the turn the conversation had taken. “We won’t. Now, are you ready to go back?”
He nodded, and they headed for the door, stopping to say goodbye to Seth and Eric on their way out. The rest of the group had left a while ago, but Seth and Eric had plans to stay out the rest of the night.
“Stay, Meg,” Seth told her tipsily. “It’s my bachelor party.” He gave her sad, puppy-dog eyes, and she couldn’t help but laugh.
“It’s so late, Seth. The party’s over. They’re going to close the place soon.”
His mouth twisted into a sloppy frown, and she laughed again. She kissed him quickly on the cheek. “Drink lots of water, okay?” She turned to Eric. “Keep an eye on him?”
Eric winked and saluted. “Aye, aye, captain.”
She rolled her eyes. Even though Eric was goofy and a bit of a loose cannon, she trusted him and knew he would make sure the two of them got back safely.
She waved a final goodbye and left with Karthik, her good humor quickly fading once she took in the stony, expressionless look on his face. They went back to the hotel in silence, and she was both physically and emotionally exhausted by the time they entered their room. She grabbed her pajamas and changed in the bathroom, growing more and more agitated as she brushed her teeth and got ready for bed. Why had he apologized? He’d regretted the kiss that much? Had found it so distasteful that he never wanted to do it again? How could he be so warm and inviting and intoxicating in one moment and so harsh in the next?
