Powwow Summer, page 1
Contents
Cover
Contents
Prologue I Remember (Nbakwendan)
Chapter 1 - On the Beach (Jiigbiig)
Chapter 2 - Love is Good (Mno zaagidwin)
Chapter 3 - The Women Set the Table (Kwewag zhischigwag)
Chapter 4 - I Fight Myself (Nmiigaandis)
June 22
Chapter 5 - We Quarrel with Each Other (Giikaandoog)
Chapter 6 - Courage (Aakdehewin)
June 23, Bus Station
Chapter 7 - I am Misunderstood (Gawiin ngii-nsastazgozizii)
June 24, I Think
Chapter 8 - Drag Something Out of the Water (Gwaajdaabii)
June 25, In The Car
Chapter 9 - I’ll Make Tea and Bannock (Niibiishaabooke miinwaa sasgokwaadens nga-zhitoon)
June 25, Later
Chapter 10 - He is My Father (Noos aawi)
Chapter 11 - I am a Half Breed (Aabtoozii ndaaw)
July 2
Chapter 12 - It is a Nice Evening (Mno naagshi)
Chapter 13 - The Lady Got Drunk (Kwe gii giishkwebii)
Chapter 14 - I am Afraid (Nzegis)
Chapter 15 - I Look at Him Behind Me (Ngii-gniwaamaa shkwaang maage goji pizo)
July 10
Chapter 16 - Sun Appearing From the Sky (Shkwaa maamwi maawnjidiwin)
Chapter 17 - I am Relating (Nda-baajimotaag)
July 11
Chapter 18 - I am Sewing One Object to the Other (Ndoo-gshkigwaadaan bebezhig gegoo)
July 31
Chapter 19 - At Noon (Naakweg)
Chapter 20 - The Song Sounds Good (Minataagwad ngamowin)
Chapter 21 - I Cover My Head with a Handkerchief (Nda-maangokwediz)
August 8
Chapter 22 - The Girls Hurt the Child (Kwezensag gii wiisgebnaa’aan binoojiinyan)
August 9
Chapter 23 - I Hurt His Feelings (Ngii-wiisgendimo’aa)
Chapter 24 - It Causes or Brings Shame (Gaajiwin biidaagon)
Chapter 25 - Pass the Eagle Feather (Miish migizi miigwan)
Chapter 26 The Cedar Lodge (Giizhkaandag Wiigwaam)
August 13
Chapter 27 - Grandmother is Kind (Nokomis mno-zhiwebizi)
Chapter 28 - They Gather Birch Bark (Wiigwaaskewag)
August 24
Chapter 29 - Drive Home (Giiwebzon)
Chapter 30 - We Left in a Good Way (Ngii-mno-maajaami)
Epilogue - See You Later (Baamaapii gawaabmin)
About the Author
Copyright
Powwow Summer
Niibing Jiingtamok
Nahanni Shingoose
James Lorimer & Company Ltd., Publishers
Toronto
For my dear friend (and editor) Kat. Thank you for believing in me and making this story possible. You are truly an exceptional teacher.
For my family: Steve, Sage, Ziibii, Mom, Dad and Howard. Thank you for supporting me in everything I do.
For my dear friend Liz Osawamick, and to Dr. Shirley Williams: Gchi Miigwech for helping me with the translation of Anishnaabemowin.
Prologue I Remember
Nbakwendan
People have always had a hard time figuring out my heritage when they first meet me. “What are you?” they ask.
I’m slightly brown, with freckles. My long, thick, black hair hangs to my waist. My clothes are always a little snug. I spent years in the centre of the back row in class pictures, looking down at my classmates. My cheekbones are high, and my eyes are dark brown. This used to inspire the boys in grade five to skip past me while singing, “Her lips were pink, like a hound dog’s dink, and her eyes were dog-shit brown!”
When I was ten years old, my mom and my teacher (who are both French) talked me into fancy shawl dancing at the school’s talent show. “It will be fun,” they said.
Powwow music echoed through the gym from a Chippewa Travellers CD my mom picked up at the Rama Powwow. I wore the new beaded moccasins and leggings my auntie had made me, which matched the beadwork hanging from my braids. A single eagle plume stood upright from the hair clip at the back of my head. My shawl and skirt shimmered in the light. The ribbons on my shawl seemed to hover in the air as I began.
I started out with a lot of energy. But by halfway through the song my chest felt tight. I started to feel a stabbing pain in my calves every time my feet hit the floor. I wasn’t in great shape, and no one had taught me to warm up my muscles. But still I twirled in circles, holding my arms high with my elbows out. I repeated the same steps over and over, just moving my feet from side to side instead of doing any fancy foot work.
Finally the drumming and singing ended. I fumbled to a stop a few seconds after the last beat. I couldn’t seem to land at the same time as the music ended. Since then I’ve learned how to listen to the song. Now I understand that ‘four times through,’ means the drummers sing the same ‘chorus’ four times. To my surprise, students and staff sat silent during the music. I had thought that people would stand, clapping and smiling. I was sure they would love watching me dance because it would be so beautiful, so unique. I mean, that’s how the crowd responds at powwows.
After I finished, there was a pause. Then they clapped. I curtsied before I walked off the stage. Why did I do that? Who curtsies after a fancy shawl dance? I was happy with my performance. But I felt embarrassed, almost ashamed.
It wasn’t until the next day that I heard what staff and students felt about my dancing. Most of the teachers told me how beautiful I looked. A few students weren’t as kind. I was in the washroom, in a stall, and I heard two girls come in.
“Did you see that ESKIMO girl dancing in the gym yesterday? IT WAS SO BAD,” one said.
The other girl giggled and agreed. “My mom said she is an Indian. She says Indians are mostly drunk people on welfare and they get everything for free.”
“Yeah, that girl is probably drunk at school.”
“Yeah, I bet she drinks Listerine and sniffs gasoline from a paper bag.”
“She probably lives in a tipi.”
“Yeah, with fish guts in her bed.”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Yes, fish guts for sure.”
I wanted to know what an Eskimo, an Indian and a drunk person were. I didn’t know what welfare was, and I wanted to know what things I got for free. I wanted to know who in my family drank mouthwash and sniffed gasoline from a bag. Wouldn’t the bag get wet? My mom was French and a school teacher, and my stepdad, also white, was a car salesman. My real dad was Ojibwe and a musician. The only time I saw other Indigenous people was when I spent a couple of weeks every summer with him in Winnipeg. At ten years old, I had never knowingly seen a drunk person. I guess I didn’t recognize the results of my mom’s Friday night wine-o-thons with her sister. I also never thought about them being white, and that I wasn’t. I just didn’t.
I never stood up to the two girls in the washroom, even though I knew who they were. And the teasing just got worse from that point. My braids were pulled by kids in the halls. It happened so fast, I could never turn fast enough to tell who it was. I was shy and couldn’t stick up for myself anyway. Boys would run past me, or dance around me, raising their hands to pat their mouths while they made trills and war cries. When I told my teachers, they would tell me that the boys teasing me probably meant they liked me. They said that’s what boys do when they like girls, they tease them. But I didn’t want to be liked by a boy at that age. Not if it meant them bullying me. Tormenting me.
I enjoyed going to powwows and dancing. But after that, it never felt the same. I felt like someone was looking at me, judging me, making fun of me. If I were to give my younger self advice now, eight years later, it would be to speak out. As I make my way into being an adult, I want to try to be the person I needed when I was younger. Because did I ever need someone.
Chapter 1 On the Beach
Jiigbiig
River shook the bottle, opened the lid with her teeth and poured sunscreen into her palm. She rubbed her hands together and smeared the coconut-scented lotion over Josh’s bare shoulders. She made little white hearts with her two fingers. She turned and did the same to his little sister Jasmine, who was seventeen, only a year younger than Josh.
“You get some hearts too, Jazz, since you’re such a sweetheart,” River said with a smile. River glanced to where Jazz was looking and saw three barely teen boys gawking at them. She tried to ignore them.
River’s friend Charlotte plopped down in front of her and swept her hair to the side. River massaged the sunscreen onto Charlotte’s back and down her pale arms. Then she stood up to spread the sunscreen on her own arms and legs. She tried not to get any on her bikini. Not that there was much bikini to get it on. She glanced up at the boys once more. This time she held their gaze. Their cheeks were red, and the towels on their laps looked a little too strategic. River smiled at the boys from her great age of almost eighteen as if to say, “Seriously, guys? Just be a kid while you still can.”
“Are you going to the Canada Day parade and fireworks, Riv?” Jazz asked.
“Maybe. I was thinking I could be a real Indian princess in the parade. You know, I could get one of those awful polyester costumes that cover only, like, half your body. I could wave like royalty as I ride my horse bareback.” River managed to deliver the sentence without smirking. She waved her hand with her fingers together, rigidly, from side to side.
“You’re terrible, River!” roared Charlotte.
“You would totally steal the show, Riv!” Jazz said. “I think you should do it.”
“It would add some sex appeal,” said Josh. “That’s for sure.”
River’s hand met Josh’s arm with a slap. He fluttered his puppy dog eyes, trying to earn her forgiveness.
“So, Riv, Charlie, what are we doing this summer? This is OFFICIALLY the last summer before university . . . so it needs to be epic.” Josh smiled with his eyes closed.
“My relatives are coming from France, so I have to stick around for a few weeks in July. But I’d love to go camping or something,” Charlie replied.
“Ooh la-la, Charlie!” Jazz’s French accent was less than perfect. “Yeah, I’m down for camping. Grundy Lake is really nice.”
“Yeah I like Grundy too,” added River. “My grandparents used to take us there when we were small.”
“Grundy it is!” crowed Josh. “Jazz, are you bringing a boy-toy?”
“Josh, you’re a dog. A big, fat, hairy, stinky and stupid D-O-G.” Jazz’s smile, unlike her words, showed how much she adored her big brother.
“Ouch! So harsh. Jazz,” Josh whined. “That’s why you don’t have a boy-toy. Just saying.” Josh tilted his head to the left, and smiled back.
River could tell that Jazz was rolling her eyes behind her sunglasses. Raised as an only child, she wondered what having such relentless brother-sister banter would be like. Probably it would get tired really fast.
“I’m going to my dad’s in Winnipeg last week of July. I’m back middle of August, I think,” said River. “We could go camping the last weekend in August before the long weekend. Before school starts. Would that work?”
She smiled at Josh’s pout at the idea of her going away even for a couple of weeks.
“That sounds like it might work for me,” Jazz said, scrolling through the calendar on her phone.
“Yeah, me too, probably,” added Charlie. “It has to be before Frosh Week though. What you doin’ at your dad’s house this summer, Riv? You guys have plans?”
“Well, just hanging out with my nokomis. That means grandma in Ojibwe. And my cousins on my dad’s side might come up from Minnesota. We’re gonna go to the powwow on the rez.”
Charlie raised her eyebrows. “Holy, that’s awesome. Sounds like fun.”
“Yeah, I’m excited about the powwow. I’ll meet some distant relatives and eat a ton of bannock. My nokomis is going to help me finish my jingle dress, and I’m going to dance.”
“Oh that’s so awesome. I love that you’re still connected to your culture, Riv.” Jasmine smiled.
Josh nodded in agreement.
“Well, I guess I am, sort of. I’d like to learn more though. It’s not the same as living on the rez. I feel a little disconnected from it all. It’s weird, trying to live in two worlds.”
“What do you mean?” Josh asked.
“I don’t know how to explain it really. It’s like . . . I feel, like, happy where I am, and in my life and stuff. But I always feel like I’m missing out. I don’t know on what — cultural stuff or something. I just feel like something’s always missing. When I’m at my dad’s, I feel, like, really happy, and part of the culture. But then of course I miss my life here. It’s hard to find a balance I guess.”
“Yeah I get it,” Jazz said. “When our parents got divorced, I always felt torn between two families. I mean, it’s not exactly the same, but sort of similar.”
Josh nodded in agreement again.
Charlie yelled from under her large sun hat. “Um, hellooo, too depressing! This was supposed to be a fun day at the beach. And you’re talking about feelings and stuff. And divorce and stuff. I don’t want to think about adulting until it’s absolutely necessary. Once we become adults, our life as we currently know it is OVER!”
Josh looked over at River and shrugged his shoulders. River liked how Josh was good at navigating awkward situations by deflecting with humour. Or just flat out changing the subject. “So is anyone going to Brittany’s party tomorrow night? Lotsa babes and booze I heard.”
Charlie winced. “Well I like the babes part. But not the booze part. I really wish I could find a girl that doesn’t drink at all.”
“Me too,” Josh said.
“What the heck! I don’t drink at all!” River squealed and slapped at Josh. “Charlie, what about that girl you met on the campus tour a few weeks ago?”
“I dunno, she was too weird. I don’t think she was like a real lesbian. She was just like a, I wanna try it out and see if I like it before I go back to men, kinda lesbian. Look, I have a friggin’ taco tattoo on my wrist. If you don’t like tacos, then go back to the hot dog cart already. I can’t be someone’s experiment.”
River spit out her drink as laughter roared from her belly. “That is so friggin’ hilarious! But really, does it have to be one or the other? Can’t it be both?”
Charlie shrugged her shoulders.
River continued, “So all in favour of not going to Brittany’s party, don’t put up your hands.” She was greeted by the sight of no hands in the air. “Okay, amazing. It’s final. We can all come to my house again tomorrow night then. We can have a bonfire and roast marshmallows or whatever. Josh and I will be back from riding at about three o’clock. That gives us plenty of time to put the horses away and stuff.”
“Sounds good,” Josh said, as the girls nodded in agreement.
Charlie pressed shuffle on her phone and turned up the volume. The four of them basked in the sun until dusk.
Chapter 2 Love is Good
Mno zaagidwin
The boards on the old stairs creaked as River snuck down into the basement of the farmhouse where she lived. Josh was there sleeping. His back was to her as she cuddled up under the blankets. She breathed in his scent with her nose burrowed in the hollow at the back of his neck.
“Don’t tease me, River . . .” Josh begged. He rolled over and wrapped his arms around her.
She kissed him on the forehead, “Then let’s go, cowboy! It’s nine o’clock. Half the day is over!” She whipped the blankets to the floor and leaped off the couch. She tossed him his Adidas track pants and smirked. “These will look FAB-U-LOUS with your cowboy boots.”
Josh pulled the blankets back up over his head and groaned. “Uggh, okay, girl. Let’s pack and go then.” He pulled on the pants under the blankets, hopped up and snapped the elastic around his waist. “I already packed the water bottles, snacks and bug spray last night, and the lunch is in the fridge.”
“Did you pack a feed bag for the horses? They can drink from the lake once we get to the bluff.”
“Oh no, I forgot. We can grab them when we saddle up, eh?”
“For sure. I’ll just bring a bag of oats and a few carrots for them.” River smiled, standing with hands on her hips. “Thanks for this, Josh. I know this isn’t your favourite thing to do. But it’s gonna be fun, I promise. Don’t forget a blanket.” She winked.
“A blanket? For what?” Josh’s voice inched up higher.
“To sit on. You know, for lunch. And then if you’re good, we’ll see what else we can do with, or under, it.” River’s cheeks turned pink as she turned toward the stairs.
“You drive me crazy, girl.” Josh grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close. He kissed her softly. He pulled a strand of her long brown hair from her eyes and placed it behind her ear. “How long is this ride, anyway?” He raised his eyebrows.
“About an hour each way. We should be there before noon for sure. Let’s saddle up and get going. I’m so excited I can’t even handle it!”
“Okay, let’s do this.”
“Okay, I just have to pee first. I’ll be right out.”
In the bathroom, River stared at herself in the mirror. She wished she could see herself the way Josh seemed to. She put the tiniest splash of scent behind her ear.
They rode for about an hour, talking and laughing, mostly about the things they used to do as little kids. Catching tree frogs and making tiny villages with twigs and moss. Playing in the creek behind the school and getting soaked almost every recess. Driving their teachers and parents crazy.
