Guilty Like Us, page 19
“Daniel cares about you. I think he never expected that and it made him desperate. That’s probably the only reason he came to see me. He didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to tell you the truth and protect you at the same time.” He shook his head, blew out a sigh. “I know what it’s like to care about someone and be trapped in your own lies. It’s horrible, and the more you try to figure a way out, the deeper you fall.”
He was talking about whatever happened between him and Charlotte before they ended up together. “If you knew what it was like, then you should have told me and spared me that pain. But you didn’t, and I’m really hurt.”
“I don’t blame you. There was no good or easy answer for any of this, and I’m very sorry I hurt you.”
“Promise me you’ll never keep the truth from me again.” Her voice wobbled. “No matter what.”
“I promise,” he said, his eyes bright. “No matter what.”
Meredith bit her bottom lip, blinked hard to keep the tears from falling, but it was no use. The first one trickled down her cheek, then the second and third. She swiped at her cheeks but they kept coming. “Darn tears.” Tate pulled her into his arms, held her as grief and loss poured from her soul.
Her brother pulled her closer, whispered, “I’m so sorry, Meredith.”
“I really believed he was different from any man I’d ever met. And he was.” More grief spilled out. “He was so much worse.”
Chapter 28
Meredith refused to take his phone calls. Every single one of them, and there’d been over twenty, all landing in her voicemail. Daniel left five messages, beginning and ending with Can we please talk? Of course, she hadn’t responded. He’d driven by her aunt’s house several times, stopped twice, and both times the aging butler told him Miss Meredith was unavailable. He didn’t add permanently in front of the word but the tone of the man’s voice implied it.
And that’s why on day two after the blowup, Daniel decided to visit Tate Alexander. He didn’t bother with greetings or small talk but got right to the reason for the visit.
“Where’s Meredith? I have to see her. I need to…”
The look Tate Alexander gave him said he should be lucky there wasn’t a punch or two involving Daniel’s face. “She doesn’t want to see you.” Those silver eyes burned him. “You broke my sister’s heart and I don’t like it when someone in my family gets hurt, especially my little sister.”
“I’m sorry. I—”
“Stop. I don’t care if you’re sorry. It doesn’t matter. You crushed her trust and when you had a chance to tell her the truth, on numerous occasions, did you?” He shook his head, blew out a breath. “No, of course not. You came to see me and got me involved. I knew I should have stayed out of it and let you handle your father’s situation by yourself, but I couldn’t do it, not when my old man was the reason behind the whole mess.” Another sigh, a frown. “My sister trusts me to guide her and I let her down because I believed you’d do right by her, and what happens?” Pause, a snarl. “You do nothing until it’s too late.”
He was right about all of it. “I love her. Please. Can you just tell me where she is?” He needed to speak with her and after he told her once again how he felt and the truth that lay in his heart, then if she wanted to be done with him...done with them…then he would accept it. Maybe. Probably not. How could he when the hole in his heart was fifty times worse than the one Sara had left?
One more chance to make things right, that’s all he wanted. “Ten minutes, that’s all I ask. If she tells me to go to hell, says she never wants to see me again, I’ll leave her alone. But not this way. She can’t simply disappear from my life.”
Tate stared him down. “She can do whatever she wants because you don’t get to call the shots.”
Daniel balled his hands into fists, forced himself to remain calm. If he lost his temper now, he’d never find Meredith. “I just want to see her.”
“Yeah, and I just want to unbreak her heart, but that’s not going to happen anytime soon.” Tate Alexander moved toward Daniel, stopped when he was a punch away. The guy didn’t look like the type to resort to violence but where little sisters were concerned, you could never tell. “I have my own ideas about the two of you, but she’s not ready to listen to me, and she’s certainly not going to listen to you. If and when she wants to hear what you have to say, I’ll be in touch.”
“What are you, the mediator?”
Meredith’s brother offered a tight smile. “That’s exactly what I am.” He paused, added, “And don’t forget it.”
There was no getting around the guy and if Daniel hoped for a chance with Meredith, he needed Alexander on his side. “Okay, but will you at least tell me if she’s all right? I’m worried about her.” Like unable to eat-sleep-think worried.
“She’s not going to hurt herself, if that’s what you’re asking, but she’s suffering.” The silver eyes burned through him, landed in his soul, extracted the truth. “You really do love her.”
Daniel nodded. “I do.” His voice drifted, spilled pain and regret. “I can’t lose her, not when I’ve finally realized what…”
“If my sister feels the same way about you, she’s not going to admit it right now, maybe not at all unless she believes she can trust you.”
He guessed there really was nothing left to do but wait. And hope. But he wasn’t going to hang around Reunion Gap where everything reminded him of her. He had to get away, back to a place that didn’t smother him with memories, or the waiting would be impossible. “You know how to get in touch with me. If she asks—” he paused, reworked the sentence “—when she asks about me, tell her I’m heading to my place in Logan’s Creek. If she’s in Chicago, she doesn’t have to worry about running into me. Please tell her to keep following her dreams, keep believing in her businesses and helping others change their lives. Tell her she changed mine.”
Tate nodded. “Sure.”
“And tell her…” His voice cracked, turned hoarse, “Tell her I’m sorry for hurting her, and I regret that I didn’t find a different way to help my father. Can you tell her that?”
Another nod. “And Daniel, I have a plan to make sure your father isn’t exposed or troubled about that matter again. I’ll need his help, though. Let him know I’ll be in touch.”
Mothers had a way of zeroing in on their children, finding their secret, and poking around at it. It had been three days since Daniel’s world blew apart and it was getting harder to stall his mother’s questions.
Where’s Meredith?
She’s not feeling well. She thinks she might be coming down with something.
Strange you aren’t coming down with something as well since you two are always together.
There’d been a look that said she wasn’t quite buying what he’d told her but she kept quiet. On day two after the split, his mother started poking around again.
You’re not seeing Meredith today?
He’d shrugged, acted like it was no big deal, as though he hadn’t been with her every day, slept in her bed every night. She’s working on a project, and I’ve got a new design that needs extra attention, so... Okay, she was not buying that one, but she didn’t press him.
But now day three was here and Lorna Reese was done dancing around Meredith’s absence from his life. “Daniel. I am not blind and I’m certainly not naïve. Something is going on between you and Meredith Alexander, and I’m not talking about the fact that anyone just has to see you two together to know you’re smitten. Does this have anything to do with the stories you’ve been telling that poor girl about who you are and what you do?”
What to say to that? The truth, because that’s all that mattered. “It does.” He rubbed the back of his neck, slid a gaze at his mother who stared at him, eyebrows raised, a not-happy look on her face.
“Well?”
“I really don’t want to talk about it.”
“And I’m really sorry you don’t want to talk about it, but I can guess what happened. You told her who you really are, or worse, she found out herself.”
A sigh. “I told her. She knows the whole story.”
“Well, that’s a start. I guess I can almost understand why you did what you did, but Meredith isn’t a gold digger and she didn’t strike me as someone who’d get caught up in your fame. Heavens, her family has enough money of its own.”
Meredith hadn’t been interested in the money or the fame, certainly not Daniel’s. All she wanted was an honest relationship and he hadn’t been able to give her that. “Meredith doesn’t like people who don’t tell the truth, no matter the reason.”
A huff, a snort. “I agree. I don’t like them either and I certainly didn’t raise my son to be dishonest. What could possibly have been so important that you couldn’t tell the truth?” When he didn’t answer, she continued, “Was it worth risking your relationship for it?”
“Mom, it’s not that simple. There’s a lot more involved and I really don’t want to discuss it.”
“Fine.”
Which meant it wasn’t fine. “Thank you.” He’d take her at her word instead of trying to determine what her state of mind was. Unhappy, no doubt. Disappointed, for certain. Well, she wasn’t the only one.
“Where does that leave you and Meredith? Is she at least speaking with you?”
He cleared his throat, looked away. “Not exactly.”
“You and she… You and she…are no longer together?”
I never want to see you again, never want to hear your voice, and I will spend the rest of my life regretting every minute I trusted you. “That sounds about right.”
“Daniel, you have to go after her and make things right. You can’t lose her. She’s good for you and I can tell you’re good for her.” Pause and a soft “She loves you.”
He dragged a hand over his face, wished life were as simple as love and good together. “I don’t think she wants to hear from me, Mom.”
She clasped her hands together, shook her head. “I don’t understand… Was it so important to pretend you were someone you weren’t that you were willing to risk losing her?”
He met his mother’s gaze, held it. “I did what I thought was right. I didn’t say I wanted to do it.”
“But—”
“I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”
“But I do.” Daniel and his mother turned, spotted Oscar Reese standing inside the kitchen doorway, face pale, expression grim. “I’m the reason Daniel lied. I’m the reason he and Meredith aren’t together.”
“What?” His mother’s gaze narrowed and she scratched her head like she did when she was confused. “Oscar, you’re not making any sense. What could you possibly have to do with Daniel and his girlfriend?”
Ex-girlfriend. “Mom, let it go.”
His father held up a hand. “No, it’s time she knew the truth, all of it, from the beginning.” He turned to his wife. “Lorna, there’s something I should have told you six years ago but I kept it hidden because I was ashamed. My mistake cost me six years of worrying and a heart attack. It forced our son to lie and put a wedge between him and Meredith.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but someone better start clearing up my questions or I’m going to be the one having a heart attack.”
“Son, would you give your mother and me some time? I need to tell her everything.” He moved toward Daniel, placed a hand on his shoulder, his eyes bright behind his glasses. “I’m sorry for dragging you into this, and I’m sorry about you and Meredith.”
“I know. Talk to Mom. And Dad—” he clasped his father’s arm, forced a smile “—it’s not your fault. I’m always going to be here for you, no matter what.”
Chapter 29
Meredith was back in Chicago with a renewed desire to find entrepreneurs in need and help them reach success. When she returned three weeks ago, Vanessa bombarded her with questions, frowned when she received one-word answers, and eventually stopped asking. We’ll talk when you’re ready, she’d said. And then, because Vanessa couldn’t help herself, she’d added, I always knew it would end like this. I always knew he would break your heart.
Three weeks was a long time to think and regroup and enough time to design a dozen headbands, review applications, conduct interviews, and clean her entire apartment. Anything to stay busy and forget the man who’d torched her heart and destroyed her belief in hope. Daniel Reese was a liar and a deceiver who’d used her and then tried to apologize and tell her how much he loved her.
How much he loved her? Did he even know what love meant or was that just another convenient line like the “destiny” comment? A person who loved someone didn’t try to destroy the other person, didn’t use them, didn’t lie to them. She focused on her breathing, thought of waterfalls and soft breezes.
But her brain wouldn’t have it and zigzagged back to the man who’d caused her more pain than every other relationship she’d ever had—including the one with her father. And why was that? Because she’d never seen it coming...because she’d truly believed he was real...that he cared about her...that they had a future together. Damn that man! Why wouldn’t he go away? She hadn’t seen him since the day he confessed the truth and he hadn’t called her in weeks.
At least there was that. No more phone calls or voicemails filled with what she’d have to say sounded a lot like hope, regret, and was that desperation? Why? Why had he stopped just short of begging to speak with her? Did he think she’d change her mind about him? Think the lies wouldn’t matter and she’d forget about them? What was he after? Another chance? Another chance for what? To lie to her again? Deceive her? No, absolutely not. The only way to heal was to stay busy, concentrate on her businesses, and let time blur the memories. That’s how it worked, right? Eventually, Daniel Reese would fade away and become a distant regret. He would not live in her brain, her heart, her soul, forever. Would he?
“Hey, were you daydreaming just now or caught in a nightmare?” Vanessa set a file on Meredith’s desk, slid into a chair. “That was one serious expression, so I’ll go with the nightmare.”
“I’m fine. Just thinking about our interviews tomorrow.” That was so not true and the look Vanessa gave her said she knew it.
“Oh? Which applicant do you think has more potential? The metalworker or the party planner?”
“I like them both.” She’d only reviewed the metalworker’s application so far and was intrigued with the idea of creating life-size garden décor: deer, rabbits, squirrels, birds, humans...
“You like them both. Interesting since the party planner hasn’t submitted anything beyond a basic ‘give me the money and let me show you what I can do’ plan.” Vanessa leaned back in her chair, crossed her arms over her chest, and waited for Meredith to respond.
“Okay, so I’ve been a little preoccupied. The headbands are rolling and we’ve got more—”
“Stop.” Vanessa shook her head. “This is not about headbands or orders. It’s not even about the fact that we’re being interviewed in two days for Chicago Entrepreneur. This is about him and we need to talk about it.”
Him meaning Daniel Reese, a.k.a. the artist behind Langston Turnings. “What is there to talk about?”
“You’re hurting. I might not be a relationship expert but I recognize pain when I see it.” Her voice turned soft, empathetic, words that were not usually associated with the woman. “I want to help but I don’t know what to do.”
“There’s nothing you can do.” Meredith’s voice cracked. “My heart’s broken. I’m broken.” More truths found their way to the surface, slipped out. “My belief in trust and hope is so bruised I’m not sure I’ll ever believe in either one again.”
“Damn that man.”
Meredith shrugged, fought the tears that wanted to fall. Nights were for crying, days were for rebuilding. “It was bound to happen at some point. Didn’t you always tell me I trusted too much and too often? Never asked the right questions? Believed everyone was filled with more good than bad and the bad was redeemable?” She cleared her throat. “It was easy for me to say because I’d never been so absolutely mesmerized by someone that all I could see was what he wanted me to see. I guess that’s my fault.” Another shrug, a sigh. “But there were a few moments when life was perfect...before it all vanished.”
“Do you want a beer?”
Daniel looked up from the vase he’d been sanding, spotted Ethan several feet away. “No thanks.”
“Are you hungry? We could head out for a steak or I’d even agree to Mexican if you want.”
Mention of Mexican food brought back memories of the first night he took Meredith for tacos and she devoured a bowl of habanero salsa and tortilla chips. Nope, not doing that. “No thanks. I want to get this sanded so I can get to the next step.”
“Sure.” Pause and then “Do you want me to order in? How about Italian? Veal Saltimbocca?”
Daniel tossed his rag on the bench, sighed. Since he’d returned from Reunion Gap three weeks ago, Ethan had become his shadow and his babysitter: hovering, questioning, catering. It was getting damn tiresome and really old. “Look, I appreciate everything you’re doing here.” He waved a hand at his workshop. “You’ve been in this place more in the last few weeks than the six-plus years we’ve been here.”
“I’m sensitive to dust.” A sneeze, followed by another.
“Exactly, and yet you come several times a day in your fancy suit and wing-tip shoes to see if I need anything.” Daniel paused, said in a quiet voice, “We both know you can’t buy what I need or order it in.”
“I don’t like seeing you this way.” Ethan moved toward him, brushed sawdust off his thigh. “This is worse than when you lost Sara.”
That was true and he wasn’t going to deny it. “I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me and I have to live with that.” He blew out a long breath. “It’s not going to be easy.”
