Trusted Bond, page 22
“No, Laurent.”
He sighed. “You know, my mom has these special orchids that she cross-pollinated. She made a new strain. She got to name it.”
“Really.”
“Yeah. She named it after me because I used to spend so much time with her in the greenhouse. That was before my dad said it wasn’t something boys should do. He never let me go near the flowers after I turned ten. Didn’t want me to be soft.”
“I’m sorry; it sounds like that was your special time with her.”
“Yeah, it was.”
And I was almost going to share something about my grandmother, but then I realized I was talking to Laurent and not a friend, and I was silent.
“You know, the day after you left, I sat in my room all day and cried.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I never wanted to be away from you.”
I took a deep breath. It was hard to maintain a degree of normalcy when I wanted to throw up. He smiled at me, and I saw his eyes tear up. “You wanna sit by me?”
“No.”
“Do you sleep with Logan?”
“I don’t wanna talk—”
“About Logan, I know—I know. Why not?”
“Because it’s none of your business.”
He nodded. “I just want you to understand something.”
“What’s that?”
“I love you.” “Okay.”
“Are you pissed at me because I killed Emilio?”
“Pissed is not the word, Laurent.” I trembled. “What word would you use?”
I raked my fingers through my hair and took another deep breath before I got up and walked over to the wall. I couldn’t just sit there; it felt like I was suffocating. “Jin,” he said, looking at me. “Do you love Logan?”
“I don’t—”
“Okay, fine.”
I leaned back against the wall and stared down at my sneakers.
“Look at me.”
He shivered when our eyes locked. “I never wanted anyone like I wanted you, Jin.”
My eyes went back to my shoes.
“Are you sure you can’t come closer?”
“I’m sure.”
“You know, when I had you in the wine cellar, I slept on the floor by you one time.”
I was silent.
“It was really cold.”
“Yeah, it was,” I agreed, my voice sounding flat.
“And your skin was cold too. That was the first time it was ever cold.”
I nodded.
“Still good, though, touching your skin.”
I twisted my head back and forth. I so wanted out of that room. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. I just wanted you back so bad, and I knew you wouldn’t come if I asked, and I realized if I couldn’t have you, then no one could.”
I noticed that my right shoe was scuffed; the left one wasn’t.
“Look at me.”
I returned my eyes to his. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
There was a long silence. “If there had been no yareah, if—”
“Laurent, I—”
“Would you have stayed with me? Did you love me?”
“It wasn’t love.”
“But it would’ve been.”
“I dunno.”
“I know. The way you were, it would’ve been. You fall fast.”
That was true.
“I wanna kiss you so bad.”
I was silent. “And even more than that… I want you to kiss me.”
I wanted to run out of the room and never look back. “I want you to want to kiss me… like you used to.”
I returned to the table, taking my place across from him again. “Did Logan come with you?”
I just looked at him.
“Is it raining outside?”
“No, it’s not.”
“You love the rain.”
“Yes, I do.”
“You kissed me the first time in the rain.”
I remembered how he had invited me to the pool house to have dinner with him, just the two of us. How uncertain he had been, turning around to look at me, and I had reached for him, pulled him close and kissed him. I had been so careful, asked over and over if he wanted me to stop. The kiss was slow and deep, my hands light on his face, allowing him to step away at any time, his decision moments later to take my hand and lead me inside.
“I didn’t know guys could kiss other guys like that.”
I shrugged. “They do.”
“I know you do, Jin.”
“Laurent, where’s the portfolio?” I asked, staring at him instead of asking where Emilio’s body was. “In the greenhouse, by my mom’s Laurent’s Kiss Alabaster orchids,” he sighed. “And Emilio’s there too?”
“Yes, honey,” he sighed heavily.
I nodded, looked toward the door. “Jin, does Logan get to watch you sleep?”
In answer, I should have told him again that it was none of his business or said nothing at all. But I was tired and annoyed that everyone was outside, that everyone was there to listen to me be humiliated. Most of all, I figured I was walking out of there in a second, anyway, so why not just tell the truth? “He does whatever he wants with me, Laurent.”
He nodded, and because I could read him, I pushed back from the table before he could grab me. It was fast. The table got sent flying up against the wall because he was strong—he was a semel after all—at the same time Yuri landed all over him as Laurent screamed. The room filled with people, and Laurent howled for me as Yuri was pulled off him. He was hauled to his feet by members of the semel-aten’s khatyu as I closed my eyes a second.
“Jin,” Logan yelled, and I opened my eyes as he stepped in front of me. He grabbed me hard, wrapping me in his arms. Everyone was yelling. Georgia Manning was in tears on the floor in the doorway, and Adam Bruyere was throwing up in another corner of the room. Markel, Mikhail, and Crane were clustered around Logan and me.
“Make Yuri come to you,” I told my mate. “He’s going to kill Laurent if they let him near him.”
“Jin, could you just—”
“Logan,” my voice cracked. “Call him!”
He lifted his cheek from where it was pressed to mine, turned, and yelled for his sheseru. Yuri let out a roar of frustration before he was there beside his semel. I reached for him, grabbing hold of his shirt, tugging on him. “I won’t move,” he snapped at me.
“Yuri.” I whispered his name. He growled but stepped closer so my hand could fist on the collar and hold tight. I tugged on him, trying to get him closer, tightening my grip.
“I’ll kill him!”
“No,” my mate, my semel, said flatly. “I will kill him.”
Held in Logan’s arms with everyone else close and safe, I finally felt like I could breathe. “That enough fuckin’ closure for you?” Crane glowered at me.
Leave it to my best friend to put everything in perspective.
Chapter Fifteen
IT WAS huge. The pit in Sobek was built like a coliseum, as they all were to some extent, with terraced stone seating and steep stairs that went from the floor to the top tier. But whereas other fighting pits I had seen, even the one on Logan’s land, were the size of a large amphitheater on a college campus somewhere, the one that sat on the land of the semel-aten reminded me more of a football stadium. The structure I was looking at could easily hold seventy thousand people. And while it was nowhere near as large as the Roman Coliseum, it was still the largest fighting arena I had ever been in. I was in awe. I had walked with Logan through the underground tunnels and the maze of rooms where the combatants were housed and so had emerged from the shaded exterior into the bright light of day. I had wanted to stay with him until he was called, but he had insisted that I be seated before the challenge began. He wanted me to watch. He needed to know that my eyes were on him.
The feast had been going on for two full weeks while I had been taken, and as such, many of the challenges had already been fought and decided. Normally the challenges of semels would have been concluded by now, as they were the first ones to duel, but as my whereabouts could not be proven nor the responsible party confirmed, Logan’s challenge, as well as those of his house, had to wait. But now, as I had finally been able to give my account, Logan’s, as well as Yuri’s and Crane’s, were the first challenges of the day. Sitting with Delphine on my right and Mikhail on my left, I tried to keep breathing for their sake as the large wooden doors swung open to reveal my mate. Logan strode forward across the dirt floor to stand at the center of the fighting field. Laurent Bruyere had entered from the opposite direction. As the two panthers squared off, no one could miss the difference in their sizes. It was unlawful to fight in any form but panther in the pit. There were no weapons allowed, and sometimes, as semels had to face others who could not shift into the true werepanther form, half-man, half-beast, standing on two legs, only the shape that every cat had was allowed. When Domin had been fighting me in the pit and had shifted into his werepanther form, at that point the challenge would have been forfeit if his tribe had not cheated. In the pit, the only competitors anyone was ever supposed to see were panthers. Compared to Logan Church, Laurent Bruyere looked like a malnourished mountain lion. He was small; there was no breadth of shoulder or chest, no sleek bulging muscles rippling under golden fur. He was out-muscled, out-sized, and out-classed. He was dead, and everyone knew it. I had a moment of sympathy a second before the priest began reading the reasons for the menthuel, or honor challenge. I had been granted the choice of telling my story to the priest in private or to all the assembled spectators in the coliseum. I had chosen to list the grievances to just the priest, the two of us meeting in the roof garden alone with only a scribe there with us after I had finished seeing Laurent earlier in the day. I spoke flatly without any emotion, as it seemed, still, like it had almost happened to someone else. I knew I was in denial, knew that the trauma was going to visit me again, but at present, I was sort of numb to the entire horror. The priest’s face showed that he was not. Now, under the scorching afternoon sun, as he recited Laurent Bruyere’s crimes for everyone, the murmurs and cries of outrage made me wonder how traumatized I was actually going to be. When Delphine grabbed my hand and clutched it tightly, I squeezed it back.
“I’m here,” I told her. “I’m fine.”
Her shaky breath as she nodded made me glance at her before Markel’s quick pat on my knee turned my eyes to him.
“Look at Logan; he needs to know you’re watching.”
I looked back at my mate to see his chest swell before his ears flattened and the blood-curdling snarl was released. The sound sent a shiver down my spine. He was going to kill the man who had hurt his mate; it was the only truth he knew in that moment. I was his, and the panther before him had tried to take me. It was all there was. As the priest announced to the assembled audience that the challenge between Logan Church and Laurent Bruyere was one of blood, he also stated that once it began, he would not interfere until it was done and only one challenger was left standing. This was not a challenge that would end in a marking or exile or a draw—it would end in death. Hamid named Koren as the next in line to the tribe of Mafdet should Logan fall and Laurent’s cousin Adam as the successor to him. Laurent’s brother David could not succeed him as he, and all the others who had helped him and not me when I was beaten and bleeding, had been sentenced to become khatyu of the semel-aten. They would never leave Sobek, having sacrificed their entire lives for their crime. Their mates and families were allowed to choose whether to relocate to Egypt or to say goodbye. I was glad they were given the choice. I would have wanted one if Logan’s judgment were ever faulty enough that his rank was stripped from him. In his sick quest to have me and hurt me, Laurent had ruined many lives beyond his own. He had requested another, final, last-minute audience with me that Logan had strictly forbidden. I wasn’t sure why he wanted to see me—everything, I felt, had already been said—but before the trial began, the priest had pulled me aside and told me that Laurent Bruyere was in no way repentant for any of his sins against me. “He’s a madman, reah, and I see now that you are lucky to have escaped with your life. Any cat without your reservoir of strength would not have survived.” His eyes darkened suddenly as he looked at me, and his breath, when he inhaled, shook. “I spared your mate the horror of the retelling of the atrocities committed. Listening to the semel’s brother and friends, I thought I would be ill. It was only their honesty, however, which made them khatyu and saved them from execution.”
I understood then that the priest of Chae Rophon would watch Logan take Laurent Bruyere apart without a flicker of remorse. It was not as easy for me. Even as I remembered every bite, cut, and beating that Laurent had delivered, it was hard to watch Logan attack him. Mercifully, it was over quickly. Logan, who had told me that he would make the man writhe and suffer, did nothing of the kind. Once the priest yelled for the challenge to begin, they flew forward, meeting at the center of the arena in a flurry of teeth and claws. Seconds later, Logan’s enormous jaw clamped down on Laurent’s throat and twisted. There wasn’t even any blood, the killing stroke delivered with a quick snap of bone, Laurent Bruyere’s neck broken and his life extinguished. He crumpled in a heap, returning instantly to human form, lifeless and ruined. Logan dipped his head to the priest, turned, and walked back the way he had come. The priest called over to Adam Bruyere, had him stand and join him in his box. He received the tribe of Dendera as his, the new semel. He was asked to speak, and when he did, I was surprised that I was addressed.
“Jin Rayne,” his voice echoed through the coliseum, “accept the apology of the tribe of Dendera, and know that myself, as well as my sheseru and every other man, woman, and child bear you only gratitude for your survival so that we would know the true horror that was in our midst, poisoning our very survival.”
They had known, they had all known, that Laurent was a psychopath, but righteous indignation would help nothing. When I rose and bowed there was thunderous applause. His bow in return brought a smile to the face of the priest. I wanted to see Logan and hoped he shifted, showered, and changed quickly. I sent Markel to check on him but stayed in my seat, as I had Yuri and Crane’s matches to watch. The moment Yuri crossed the arena floor to the center, there were gasps and murmurs from the crowd. Abbot George had entered first, and watching Yuri join him, his size almost double, had stunned the assembled throng. I watched Abbot tremble and would have stood and gone to the priest if he had not lifted his hand and called for the smaller panther’s immediate submission. It was not surprising that he rolled over on his back instantly, prepared to accept whatever punishment Yuri saw fit to deliver. I was surprised when Yuri pinned him to the dirt, shoving his face down hard, his jaws locked around the smaller panther’s throat. He held him there for long minutes and neither moved and everyone was surprised except me. Yuri’s size, his strength, made people think he was a brute but I knew better. The man always knew exactly what he was doing except when he was drunk as he’d been at our very first meeting. Sober, Yuri knew what he was all about, and in that moment he would show the smaller, weaker man his true power. Originally he had wanted to eviscerate Abbot George but now he wanted him terrified instead. Now he wanted him cowering in fear in front of every werepanther in attendance. He wanted to strip away his dignity and his pride and all semblance of self-worth. As Abbot’s bladder betrayed him and he spilled onto the sand below him, there was no doubt to everyone watching, that the man was terrified. The priest called for Abbot’s immediate submission. I watched, everyone watched, as Yuri shifted back into his human form and bent and spoke to the smaller man. I could guess what was said, the threat, the warning, the absolute truth of the bond between a sheseru and his reah. If Yuri ever saw him again, found him on his land or anywhere near me, he was dead. It was a promise that he made. Yuri was declared champion moments later and cheering followed. My sheseru stood with Abbot still frozen on the ground and bowed low. He then shifted back to panther form and stalked from the arena. “Look at him strut.” Delphine smiled at me, releasing a deep breath.
I let mine go as well. I hated challenges, all of them, no matter how well they turned out. The priest allowed Abbot to be returned to his semel and therefore to his tribe, reminding Kellen Grant in the process that he was to meet Logan in the pit the following day. “God, what’s taking Markel so long,” Delphine complained, fanning herself as she looked around the arena for him. “How hard is it to check on Logan and come back?”
I watched her try and cool herself with the leaf-shaped bamboo fan for a moment before the priest called for the next two challengers.
Crane was a handsome man, at least I thought so, and if the number of women that fell into his bed was any sort of gauge, then it was a reasonable conclusion to be drawn. The only form that was more beautiful than his human one was him in his golden panther glory. He was sleek and muscular and moved fluidly, not with the swagger that he had when he was a man. Everyone could see how full of joy he was, and while it was out of place in his present circumstance, I couldn’t help but smile. “Oh for crissakes, Jin, does the idiot know he’s about to fight?” Delphine snapped. He did, and he was damn happy to be there. “Where’s your father?” I asked absently, not taking my eyes off my best friend. “Logan sent him home after we all saw the priest together. He was escorted out of Sobek. You won’t see him until we get home.”
“I’m sorry Logan’s so mad,” I told her.
She scoffed. “Oh, that’s gonna be nothing compared to how angry my mother’s going to be.”
I looked at her. “You told your mom about our plan, didn’t you?”
She scowled at me. “Yeah, and she told me you already told her.”
I groaned. “I had to.”
“So did I, she’s my mom.”
“And I knew she’d be so happy knowing that she would for sure have grandkids from her oldest child.”
“You see”—she rolled her eyes—“we’re both worthless when it comes to Eva Church.”
