A Bride for McCain, page 18
“Patrick had a nightmare,” she whispered. She stood and walked toward the door. Her insides tightened with each step that took her closer to him. “But he’s fine now.”
“You’ve a mother’s touch when it comes to the boy. He’s lucky to have you.”
“He’s a good boy.”
“The best.”
Jessica glanced over her shoulder at Patrick. He was sleeping peacefully. Her heart twisted with sadness as she turned and walked past Ross into the hallway.
McCain closed Patrick’s door, then, taking her by the elbow, led her down the hall. He stopped and turned her toward him. He reached up and traced her cheekbone with his knuckle. “You’ve helped me realize what a wonderful son I have.”
“I think you always knew that.”
“Yes, I suppose I did.”
McCain’s eyes softened. Guilt ate at Jessica as the image of the crumpled telegram on her bed sprang to mind.
Tell him the truth.
The truth begged to be spoken, yet she couldn’t speak it. It broke her heart to think McCain could end up hating her once she confessed. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a full day ahead of me.”
McCain grabbed her wrist, halting her retreat. “Why did you run out of the kitchen?”
She knew she wasn’t going anywhere until she answered his question. “You frightened me,” she said honestly.
“You know I’d never hurt you.”
“Yes.”
He nodded, satisfied. “Then explain why you ran.”
“It’s complicated.”
“I’ve got the time.”
She clenched her fists. “This is harder than I thought it would be.”
“Best just to spit it out.”
“If I didn’t love you so much, I would.”
“What did you say?” he said quietly.
Jessica pressed her fingertips to her lips and raised her gaze to his. She couldn’t deny her feelings any longer. “I love you.”
Ross cupped her face in his hands, then he kissed her. When the kiss ended she was breathless. Disoriented.
“I will be a good husband to you,” he said.
Jessica shook her head. Breathing was difficult.
She reached up and touched his cheek. The rough stubble on his chin sent a wave of emotions through her. “I don’t deserve you.”
“You deserve more than I could ever give.” Ross wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her to him. He pressed his lips against hers.
Enveloped by his strength and warmth, she wrapped her arms around his neck. One kiss. She wanted only one kiss.
He hugged her tighter against him. A soft moan escaped her as his touch became more insistent.
This was their moment—their chance to be together—and she couldn’t let it slip by. She wanted to know what it felt like to make love to Ross McCain. It would be a memory she would treasure forever. Her reckoning would come soon enough.
She kissed him fully, matching his passion. He groaned and tightened his hold around her body. He slid his hand up her thigh, smoothing it over the curves of her hip. She gasped at the surge of desire.
A few hours of uncompromised love wasn’t too selfish, was it? She kissed his neck and nuzzled her nose against his ear.
A low groan rumbled in his chest. “I want you.”
Jessica’s hunger matched his. “Make love to me.”
He scooped her up in his arms. She wrapped her own arms around his neck. He strode down the hallway toward his room, stepped over the threshold and kicked the door closed with his bare foot. He crossed the room and set her down in the center of his large bed. He pulled off his shirt and slid out of his pants, letting them both fall in a pile at his feet.
For an instant, her eyes widened at the sight of him. She swallowed. “My mother died when I was a young girl and no one has ever explained…things…to me. Ross, I’ve never…”
The mattress sagged under his weight as he lay beside her. “Shh, I know. It’s all right.”
“What I mean is, well, Ross, are you sure…I mean, that you’ll fit…it’ll fit inside me?”
“We’ll fit together just fine.”
She sucked in a deep breath when his hand slid up her ribs and cupped one of her full breasts. His fingers skimmed her nipples.
“So sweet, so beautiful.” His hand moved down her back, then over her buttock, cupping the soft mound with his long fingers. He dropped another searing kiss on her lips.
She felt dizzy. “I’m not sure what you’re doing to me, but I like it.”
Ross chuckled, nibbling her ear with his teeth. “Good.”
He stared down at her. He ran his fingers over the worn lace of her nightgown collar. “You’re so beautiful.”
He gathered twin handfuls of her nightgown, pulled it over her head and tossed it in a heap in the corner. A single candle burned by his bed, sending a flickering light over her white skin and the contoured lines of his face. Unable to ignore a stab of modesty, she raised her hands to cover her naked breasts.
He ran his hands over hers and pulled them away. “Don’t hide from me. Let me take in every detail of you.”
His softly spoken words coaxed Jessica toward boldness. “I love touching you,” she said.
“Not nearly as much as I love seeing and touching you. Your skin is as smooth as china.”
Her hands trembled with want as she smoothed her hands over the coarse hair of his chest and his finely honed muscles. He was perfect.
“Only in my wildest dreams did I dare believe you could be mine.” He drank in every detail of her.
Ebony curls cascaded over her creamy shoulders and full breasts. She moistened her lips as she stared up at him, waiting, willing.
She leaned forward to blow out the candle on the nightstand.
He stopped her. “Don’t. I want to remember everything about this moment.” His gaze skimmed over her naked flesh.
She trailed a single finger over his backside.
“Be careful what you touch. This might be over before it begins. I’ve not shared a bed with a woman in a long time.”
“I don’t understand. Don’t you like it when I touch you?”
He groaned. “Like it? I love it, but it’s hard keeping a tight rein on my desire with you so close. I want our first time to be perfect, so when you look back, you’ll smile.”
“That I can promise.”
He drew a callused hand up her smooth leg, over her hip. She sucked in a breath when his hand cupped her breast again. Fear, excitement, sadness—they all shot through her.
Perspiration glistened on her temple as his finger trailed down between her breasts, over her belly to the dark curls between her legs.
She arched her back and hugged him against her. “I feel so strange, so wonderful.”
“That’s sweet music to my ears.”
Gently he pushed her legs apart with his knee. Raising himself on his arms, he poised to enter her. “Ah, Emma. This is what it’s supposed to be like between a man and a woman. True and honest love.”
She stiffened. Tears welled in her eyes. She was a liar. A coward. Unworthy. “Yes,” she whispered.
He reached out with his finger and captured the single tear as it rolled down her face. “You’re not afraid, are you?” he murmured against her ear.
“A little.”
“I’d never hurt you.”
“I know.”
“If you want to wait, I will.” His face was dark. Tense.
Jessica shook her head from side to side. “I don’t want to wait. I want us to be together, now.” She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him fully, deeply on the mouth. Boldly, she plunged her tongue into his mouth and arched her back once more, pressing her breasts against him.
A deep groan rumbled in his chest, but still he held back. He began to rub her tender flesh and her body sang with unexpected pleasure. She was hungry for him. Desperate for his touch. “Ross, please, I can’t wait any longer.”
His smile was arrogant and very male. “Ah, just another moment or two, my sweet wife. I like pleasuring you.”
She whimpered slightly when he pulled away. “The sight of you drives me crazy with want,” he said. Then, before she could respond, he slid into her body.
Jessica tensed, bracing herself, as he pressed against the delicate barrier inside her. He kissed her on the lips and entered her. Brief, lightning-sharp pain seared her. She sucked in a breath and gripped his shoulders. At first he didn’t move. With his hands planted on either side of her head, he waited for her to grow accustomed to him.
“Emma?” he rasped. “Did I hurt you?”
Oh, how she wanted to hear him speak her name. “I’m fine.”
He began to move in her. Moments passed. The pain gave way to a delicious tightening that warmed her entire body.
Jessica, relying on instinct, matched his rhythm and surrendered herself up to the erotic dance they shared. She arched her hips, straining to meet his thrusts. Finally, when she thought she’d go mad with wanting, she peaked in an explosion of desire that filled her with awe and amazement. Seconds later, his body, slick with sweat, strained, then jerked before he found his release.
She and Ross were one.
And for an instant, all her fears vanished.
Their bodies spent, Ross collapsed against her. His breathing was ragged; his heart thumped wildly against her chest. He rolled onto his side, drawing her into his arms. She wiggled her backside against him and savored the way his arms tightened around her body.
For the first time in her life, she felt fulfilled, complete and no longer alone.
* * *
An hour later, Jessica stood by the window with only a quilt wrapped around her, while Ross slept, his muscular body dominating his bed.
She stared at the mist-covered landscape, longing for the warmth of Ross’s arms. The peace she’d felt such a short time ago had vanished. Again she was alone, imprisoned by her lies.
She wanted so desperately to reach beyond the wall of secrets standing between them, but the words wouldn’t come. Fear of Ross’s rejection kept her silent.
Hot tears burned her eyes when she thought about a future without him.
“The bed’s lonely without you.” As silent as a cat, Ross had walked up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her against his chest.
Jessica turned in his arms. His eyes were misty with sleep. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around his chest, seeking warmth and solace. She closed her eyes, savoring his masculine scent. “Life would be so lonely without you.”
He banded his arms around her and rubbed his chin against her temple. “Fortunately, I’ll always be here.”
She drew comfort from their embrace. “It wasn’t until I came here that I realized how truly lonely I was.”
“Lonely is something you’ll never be again. Patrick, Peg and I are your family now.”
She pressed her cheek against the bare skin of his chest. “Yes.”
She released the quilt, letting it pool around her ankles. She wanted to make love to him again. Once hadn’t been enough.
Naked in the morning sun, she cupped Ross’s face in her hands. Standing on tiptoe, she pressed her breasts against his chest and kissed him on the mouth. The taste of him mingled with the salty flavor of her tears.
Ross drew her hands from his face. “Emma, we don’t have to do this now. You might not be ready to do it again.”
She shook her head. The ends of her hair brushed her waist. She craved the sweet oblivion they’d shared earlier, her sole source of refuge. Her hands trailed down his back and over his buttocks.
Ross groaned, closing his eyes. “I’m trying to be noble. And you’re not making it easy.”
Her laugh was husky. “Make love to me again.”
He groaned again, surrendering to her touch, and wrapped his arms around her slender body. He lifted her off the floor as his mouth joined hers. The kiss dulled her worries and sparked her hopes for the future. Perhaps she could make him understand and he would forgive her.
He carried her back to the bed. Laying her gently on the sheets, he climbed into bed and pulled the covers over their naked bodies.
She reached for him with an eagerness that shocked her.
“I must be living right for the fates to have given me a woman like you.”
Jessica clung to his shoulders, giving herself up to the whirl of sensual feelings. She buried her face in his shoulder, hungrily accepting him when he entered her.
“Always remember that I love you, Ross,” she whispered before chaos overtook her.
Chapter Fifteen
Jessica peeked out from under the quilt. Sunlight cascaded onto the bed’s rumpled sheets, onto her nightgown puddled on the floor. Fall had turned to winter overnight, and the biting air and the cold embers in the hearth sent her back to the warmth of the covers and Ross. She snuggled her bottom against him.
Ross groaned softly and pulled her nearer. He nuzzled his face in the crook of her neck. “Why don’t we spend the winter in bed?”
“If only we could.” She wriggled closer to him. Being in his arms felt so right.
She could feel him growing hard and it gave her a sense of satisfaction that she could evoke such a reaction in him. Her own desire grew as she thought of making love to him one more time.
Still, she resisted the urge. The moment for the truth had come. They must talk.
Ross nibbled her earlobe. Shivers danced down her spine. Her body ached for him.
When a moan escaped her lips, he chuckled. “I can’t seem to get enough of you.”
“I feel the same,” she whispered.
He rolled her onto her back and stared down at her. His eyes, like emerald shards, greedily drank in every detail of her. “You are beautiful.”
She trailed a finger down his chin. “You are beautiful.”
His smiled. “I’ve been called a lot of things, Emma, but never that.”
She cupped his face in her hands. “I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”
His hand ran along her thigh, up and over her stomach to her breast.
Jessica sucked in a breath. He was making this so difficult. “We must talk,” she whispered.
“We’ll talk all you want. Later.”
He kissed the nape of her neck, trailing soft kisses down to her breasts.
“When you touch me like that I can’t think clearly.”
He kissed her on the lips as he teased her nipple with his thumb. “Good.”
They had to talk.
Coherent thought eluded her. What difference could another hour make? She would tell him her story as soon as they’d made love. Just another hour. She arched her back and pressed her breast into his hand.
He needed no other encouragement. “My sweet, wanton wife,” he said huskily. He rolled on top of her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Within seconds, she was lost, forgetting the words that had been on the tip of her tongue seconds ago.
Into the maelstrom of emotions came the distant sound of knocking. Someone was downstairs at the front door. The thumping grew louder, until it could be denied no longer.
Ross groaned and collapsed against her. “This better be good or I will have to be locked up for murder.”
She banded her arms around his chest, refusing to let him go. “Peg’ll get it.”
“No, I better go. Nobody bangs on my door like that on a Saturday unless there’s trouble.”
Ross rolled off of her and slid out from underneath the covers. His warmth was replaced by an unreasonable sense of foreboding.
He pulled on his pants, yanked his shirt over his head and shoved his feet into his unlaced boots.
“I’ll go with you,” Jessica said.
He leaned down and kissed her lips. “No, stay and keep that bed warm for me. I’ll be right back.” He strode out of the room.
Jessica lay on her back and listened to the sound of his footsteps descending the stairs. Seconds clicked by. She heard him open the front door.
Sam’s Virginia drawl was unmistakable. “These folks said they have to see you.”
Jessica sat up in bed and clutched the sheet to her naked breasts. An uneasy feeling crept into her bones.
“Can’t it wait? I’m busy right now,” Ross said.
“I’m sure you are, sir, but I’m afraid my news won’t wait.” William Perry’s voice shattered her sense of peace.
This can’t be happening!
Jessica swung her feet over the side of the bed, scooped up her nightgown and slipped it over her head. Grabbing a quilt from the bed, she wrapped it around her shoulders and hurried out of the room to the top of the stairs.
“Mister, unless someone’s dead or there’s a problem at the mine, it can wait,” Ross declared.
“It’s about Jessica Tierney,” William said.
“I don’t know who you are talking about,” Ross replied.
It was impossible to see Ross, William or Sam. Halfway down, the stairs turned sharply at a landing before descending to the foyer. Jessica listened, praying for a miracle.
“You must know her,” William said.
“I don’t know any Jessica Tierney,” Ross retorted.
“But you must!”
“I’m tired of arguing with you, Mr….”
“Perry. William Perry.”
“Sam is my foreman,” Ross said. “He’ll take you to the sheriff. Make your inquiries with him.”
“I already told him we don’t have anybody in these parts by that name,” Sam said. “But he ain’t listening.”
“Miss Tierney may not be using her real name,” William said quickly. “When she left Sacramento she was using the name Emma Grimes.”
“What?” The shock in Ross’s voice made Jessica cringe with guilt.
William’s voice grew calmer. “Ah, I can see by the expression on your face you’ve heard the name before. Jessica is petite, has black curly hair and is quite beautiful.”
“That description fits a good number of women.” An edge had sharpened Ross’s voice.
“There’s someone I want you to meet,” William insisted.
Jessica heard footsteps, then the front door opened again. A blast of cold air rushed through the front door and up the stairs, chilling her to the bone before it closed.
