Love Hate Love, page 19
He frowned. “You really wanna be my friend after all I’ve done?”
I nodded, wishing I could be a whole lot more.
“I don’t wanna be your friend, never have and never will.”
I flinched at his words.
He lowered his eyes to my lips. “I wanna be so much more.”
And just like that, he was kissing me, holding my face to his so I had no chance of escape. But I didn’t want to escape, I wanted everything he was doing to me. I raised my hands to his head and let myself go, didn’t hold back one bit as I returned his kiss, the past months of mooning over him coming crashing down all at once.
He pressed me back against the bed, no gentleness involved, his tongue hungrily parting my lips. I opened up for him, eagerly letting him in, my tongue duelling with his. Then his hands were on my dress, undoing the buttons down the front to get access to my body. I needed to touch his body too, needed skin on skin so bad that I wanted to cry. I had his jacket off whiplash fast, then was yanking up his shirt. He broke the kiss and ripped it off, his hands back on my body in no time. He shoved my bra up, smiling down at what he saw, his carnal expression causing me to shiver in anticipation.
Pushing my breasts together, he lowered his head and licked both nipples, then latched onto one of my breasts, sucking on it so damn good that he had my pelvis lifting off the bed, begging for attention too. In response, he burrowed under the lace of my knickers, rubbing a finger between my folds. I groaned and grabbed his head again, holding his mouth to my breast as I moved my pelvis in rhythm with his finger. He pushed it inside of me, finger-fucking me, his thumb also playing with my clit, the intensity almost too much bear.
It all halted a second later, his hand and mouth leaving my body. I went to complain, but stopped at the sight of Nico pushing his pants down, along with his underwear, his hard-on making my eyes bug out. I knew he was big, but seeing him fully hard, even harder than he was that morning, his cock flushed and weeping for me...
“God!” I said, unable to take my eyes off it.
A small laugh escaped his mouth. “You can call me whatever you want, babe.”
He pulled open the drawer next to the bed and removed a condom packet, reminding me of where we were. The likelihood that he’d taken other women here sent my off-the-charts libido plummeting, the fear that I was just another fuck very real. He rolled the condom on with a proficiency that doubled that fear, but I didn’t utter a word in protest, too scared of ruining things with him. Because if I changed my mind now, turning him down, he’d never want to see me again, and I couldn’t let that happen.
He grabbed my knickers and pulled them off, biting his bottom lip as he did it. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this, dreamt about it,” he said, his dilated pupils trying to eclipse his irises.
The raw need on his face and in his voice tempered down my fears, sending my libido skyrocketing once more. Needing it to stay that way, I pulled his head back down, kissing the daylights out of him. He kissed me back just as fiercely, pushing my legs apart without missing a beat, the feel of him between my thighs making my heart race. I hadn’t had sex since I was fifteen, since I’d split up with my boyfriend to move to Auckland. And here I was, three years later, finally back with a boy... No, with a man, because Nico was nothing like my ex, nor did he feel like him as he started pushing inside of me, his size causing me pain.
Nico must have felt me tense up, because he stilled partway in, breaking the kiss to peer down at me. “Did I hurt you?” he asked, appearing concerned.
I shook my head, not wanting him to feel bad.
He gave me a soft smile and nudged my nose with his. “Don’t worry, you can tell me if I do something you don’t like.”
“It’s not that I don’t like it,” I said, shaking a little, what we were doing so intimate it was surreal. “I’ve only been with one other guy and that was a while ago. You’re also a lot bigger than him, you know, down below.”
“Oh,” he said, giving me a smile. “I’ll take it slower, then.” He didn’t take his eyes off me as he inched in slowly, staring at me so intensely that I felt like I was caught in a spider’s web, stunned and paralyzed by his stare.
“Better?” he asked.
I nodded and linked my arms around his neck, feeling so self-conscious as he continued to stare down at me. But I also loved it, my heart racing faster than it had ever before. My nervousness disappeared completely as he lowered his lips to mine, kissing away all of my anxiety. He moaned against my lips as he pushed further inside of me, his cock stretching me, but instead of tensing up, I wrapped my legs around him, pushing my pelvis up, taking all of him in. He gasped against my lips at the same time as I did, saying something in Romanian, then words that I wanted to hear fell from his mouth.
“I need this,” he said. “I need you.”
Needing him more, I grabbed his head and kissed his lips hard, probably bruising them in the process. I was completely and utterly obsessed with him, so wrapped up in the world of Nico that he’d ruined me for all other guys. No matter how nice or sweet they were, they would never be good enough. And no matter how cute or hot they were, they weren’t Nico.
He growled against my lips, then started rocking his hips faster. The original pain I’d felt disappeared, morphing from discomfort to bliss, something changing inside my core, pleasure taking over completely.
He lifted one of my legs up, locking it under his muscular arm, watching as his cock moved in and out of me. I looked too, stunned by what I was seeing and feeling, because it had never felt this good with my ex. And it looked so sinful, almost obscene, but oh, so good.
Then something changed again. Nico thrust into me so hard it sent a lightning bolt of pleasure through me. He did it again and again, our flesh slapping against one another, the shots of pleasure overlapping, the drumbeat inside of me building up and up and...
I didn’t know what it was, but it took me over the edge, something I’d never felt before. I yelled out as intense pleasure shot through me, shaking my whole body, sending me soaring. Then Nico slammed into me one last time, yelling out hoarsely as his cock pulsed, buried so deep inside of me I wasn’t sure where I started and he ended.
He pulled out and collapsed next to me, breathing heavily, his stomach muscles moving up and down. I was also trying to get my breath back, my pussy still clenching from what I’d assumed was an orgasm, my first boyfriend never having given me one. It was almost as if we’d done something entirely different, because I’d had no clue that sex could be like this, my first experiences giving me a false outlook on it. It was why I hadn’t allowed my other boyfriends to get this far, not thinking it was worth it. But with Nico...
...it was worth every second—and so much more.
Nico turned on his side, propping his head up on one hand. His eyes lowered to my stomach, a dreamy smile playing across his lips. He traced my navel with a fingertip, then ran it up the centre of my torso to my breasts, circling each nipple, causing my chest to rise and fall rapidly. He leaned down and flicked each nipple with his tongue, his mass of soft curls right in front of my face. Unable to help myself, I ran my fingers through them, accidentally pulling his hair when I snagged some tangles. Grunting, Nico reached up and removed my hand from his hair, giving me a raised brow as if to say, Why did you do that for?
“Sorry,” I said, giving him an apologetic smile. “I couldn’t help it, you have the most gorgeous hair.”
“My now mum calls it a mop, is always trying to get me to cut it.”
“Don’t ever listen to her, your hair makes my insides melt.”
He let out a little laugh and leaned forward, brushing his lips against mine. I went to grab his head to deepen the kiss, but he pulled back before I could.
“We should get dressed,” he said, pushing out of bed.
Feeling like I was in a dream, I watched him remove his condom and drop it into the bin by the bed, giving his hands a quick wash in the small basin. He then pulled on his underwear, grabbing his jeans next, my dream-like bubble bursting at the sight of blood on the denim. Tate’s blood. The stark reality of what Nico had done quickly filtered back into my sex-hazed mind, which was why I didn’t move, the room momentarily hiding us from the consequences.
Nico zipped up his jeans. “Hurry up,” he said, grabbing his shirt. “I don’t want my boss finding you in here naked.
That set me in motion. I quickly pulled my bra down, fixing it in place, then started doing up the buttons down the front of my dress. I was on my feet in no time, slipping my knickers back on.
Nico stuffed his feet into his shoes, his shirt now on. I sat down and slipped my own shoes on, my heart racing once more, wondering what this meant. Was it just a one-off or did it make us a couple, and if it did, how would it work when we walked out the door, and into the unforgiving world? Because I definitely wanted to be with him, wanted it so bad I was willing to shelve my pride and beg him to give us a chance beyond the burst of passion we’d just shared.
“You should leave,” he said, sadness falling over his face, wiping away the happy look he’d had only moments ago.
It made my heart stutter, then slam against my chest, worried that this was all I was going to get from him. Passion followed by heartbreak. “Why?”
He grimaced. “If the cops find me, I don’t want you to be here.”
“They didn’t find you here the last time.”
“Only because Annabelle set the record straight, but this time...” He ran his fingers through his messy hair, looking upset. “They will definitely search for me. I’m going down for what I did to Tate, could even get jail time, but more likely they’ll chuck me back into the psyche ward.” He gripped onto his hair for a moment before flinging his hands out. “Fuck! I screwed up bad this time, real fucking bad.”
“Maybe Tate won’t lay charges.”
Nico shook his head, his expression defeated. “Once he’s over the pain, he’ll probably be happy I bashed him. He finally has something to slap on me. Not only that, I did it in front of a hall full of students. I don’t have any comeback from this. There’s no way I won’t be done for assault, and with my mental history, I’ve fucked myself over good and proper. They’ll think I’m a danger to society and lock me away for months, no slap on the wrist for me.”
“But you’re not a danger!”
“They won’t see it that way, and maybe they’re right. I snapped back there, totally lost my shit. If anything, I wanted to kill that motherfucker.”
“But you didn’t, you stopped.”
“Not soon enough. Still, I’m not going to let the cops take me without a fight.”
“What do you mean by that?” I said, now even more worried.
He grimaced. “I hate psyche wards, you don’t have any control in them. I’d rather go to prison than end up in one again.”
“You can’t fight the police.”
“Then, I’ll disappear.”
I shook my head, not willing to let him do that. “No one can disappear in New Zealand for long, and if you run, it’ll look even worse. Maybe if you hand yourself over willingly they’ll see that you’re of sound mind, that you don’t need to be locked away. You also only punched Tate twice.”
He shook his head right back at me. “I smashed his face in, broke his nose. You saw it, saw the blood, like every other student in that hall did.”
“I’ve seen a hell of a lot worse than that. I saw a gang kick the shit out of a guy for wolf-whistling at one of their missuses. They almost killed him. I’ve even gotten into worse fights myself. I broke this girl’s arm once after she attacked my best mate from up north. I tackled her, she fell on it wonky. I wasn’t prosecuted because it was deemed self-defence since I was defending my friend. I’ve also seen a couple of knife attacks, and no one was arrested for those.”
He stared at me in shock. “Where the hell are you from?”
“I told you, Kaikohe, though one of those knife attacks was in a neighbouring town. It was at a party that got out of hand. There were drugs on the premises so the owners didn’t want the cops involved. They dealt out justice themselves, beating up the guy who pulled the knife. Not like he was going to go to the cops over it, he would’ve landed in worse trouble.”
“That’s fucked up,” he said, still looking shocked. “No wonder you took the fight at the club so lightly if you’ve seen and done shit like that. I thought you were from a rich family, like Julia.”
I shook my head. “For fifteen years I lived in a house with peeling paint and mouldy walls with my mum and nonna, the first five of those with my father before he left my mum, jumping over the ditch to Australia. Then I moved to Auckland, spending three years in a pool house that was owned by my rich uncle, an uncle who felt obliged to take me in when I refused to live with my mother anymore,” because she killed my nonna. “But even though I’ve spent the past three years in the heart of Auckland, I’m still a Kaikohe girl at heart. Born and bred. Proud of it, too.”
He blinked at me, the shocked look not leaving his face.
I continued, “So, do you understand why I don’t agree that you should be locked away for months on end over a couple of punches?”
“Not really, and I don’t think the cops will understand it either, which is why it’s best I bounce.”
“No! You can’t leave!” I yelled, now angry.
He jolted. “I don’t have a choice, and no matter how much you downplay it, assault is a crime.”
“But you hit Tate for me,” I said, prodding my chest, “and I want you to stay with me.”
“They won’t let me.”
“Then, what was this?” I said, sweeping my hand out, indicating to the bed. “One fun last fuck before you run?”
He shook his head. “It meant way more than that to me, though I thought you’d realise we couldn’t have more, that there’s no way I could stay with you.”
“You said you wanted me!” I yelled, not letting him get away with ditching me.
“I do, but I still can’t stay, not after what I did.”
“You can! I’ll fix things.” I grabbed my bag and pulled out my phone.
“What are you doing?”
“Calling Annabelle. She can get those gang members to make sure that Tate keeps his mouth shut.” I pressed the digits.
Nico snatched the phone out of my hand and turned it off. “You’re not getting Annie or her mates involved in this.”
“Why not?!”
“Because Tate’s probably already given a statement to the cops. I know him, he won’t drop this until I’m arrested.”
“He will if he has some gang members making him,” I said, starting to panic again, desperate to make things right for Nico.
He shook his head again. “They can’t clean this up, all they can do is make things worse. Sorry, Kady,” he threw my phone on the bed, “I need to go.”
“No!” I said, grabbing his arm. “You’re not running.”
He sniffed derisively. “I’ve never stopped running.” He pulled his arm free and walked out of the room, leaving without looking back.
~
15 ~
I walked back to my apartment in tears, so shattered that I barely knew how I got there. Nico had left me for good this time, not only running away from the police, but from me too. I wasn’t that special to him, just one last fling before he was forced into hiding. Before he got caught and probably prosecuted, because he was right, I had downplayed things. Auckland was another world to my hometown in Northland, where people let things slide more readily, unlike Tate, who would never let what had happened slide. Tate hated Nico as much as Nico hated Tate, and Nico had handed Tate the card he’d always wanted.
A put Nico in jail card.
Or the psyche ward, but whichever one it was, it was the same result for me. I wasn’t going to see Nico again.
I entered my apartment, surprised that the police weren’t parked outside, already up here questioning Annabelle. Or waiting for me, after any information on the fight so they could arrest Nico. Though, a couple of students heading down the stairs stopped to look at me, one asking if I was all right. I wasn’t, so I continued on my way up the stairs without answering the pointless question, finding my room unlocked.
I heard Annabelle’s voice before I saw her. I stepped inside our apartment as she yelled into her phone. She put the brakes on her verbal barrage as soon as she noticed me. “I need to go,” she said into the phone. “Get back to me when the job’s done.” She hung up and approached me, her face twisted with concern. “I heard what happened. Where’s Nico?”
I wiped my eyes. “Gone.”
“Where?”
“He took off so the cops won’t get him.”
Annabelle swore. “Bloody idiot! I told him if he ever gets into shite never run, it only makes matters worse.”
“He thinks he’ll get jail time or the psyche ward. He messed up Tate’s face bad, and in front of a lecture hall full of students.”
“Why?! Why did he do it?!”
“Tate insulted me and Nico just lost it.”
Annabelle swore again, then she was shaking her head, a determined look tightening her expression. “It disnae matter, I can fix this, like I normally do. I have one of ma gang mates already onto it. Jasper’s going to make sure that Tate disnae lay charges against Nico, while—”
I cut her off, “Tate’s probably already given a statement.”
“Then, Jasper will force that preppy shite to drop the charges. Jasper’s six-foot-five, absolutely terrifying when he gets mad. He’ll make Tate take everything back and beg for forgiveness.”
“But there were loads of witnesses, the cops could still press charges without Tate.”
Annabelle raised her hand to her head. “We cannae think like that, we have to hope for the best. We also need to concentrate on finding Nico. Let’s go to his work, that’s where he usually goes.”
