‘Right, sit down before it all gets cold,’ Lilian urged.

  Tom appeared just after eight o’clock, his eyes bleary with concentration.

  ‘Hello, Caro. How’re things?’

  ‘Fine, thanks. You?’

  Tom nodded and began to eat hungrily. ‘All good. Lots of radio traffic now, as you’d expect.’ Then he fell silent, unable to say more. The brown envelope containing his notes for the evening sat beside him on the table. As if on cue, there was a knock at the door.

  ‘That’ll be Gordon,’ Lilian said, hurrying to answer it and a few moments later, the young soldier followed her into the room.

  ‘Hello, mate,’ he greeted Steve. ‘When are you back? Can’t say I like this trip to Waddington every night, ’specially when it’s throwing it down.’

  Steve frowned at him. ‘Watch what you’re saying,’ he snapped.

  Gordon raised his eyebrows. ‘Oh sorry, I thought they were in the know.’

  ‘No,’ Steve said shortly. ‘The less they know the better it is for them.’

  Gordon seemed nonplussed by the reprimand. He shrugged. ‘I don’t really know what it’s all about anyway, mate. I just pick up three envelopes from here and – the other places – and take ’em to – wherever. Mind you,’ he grinned cheekily now, ‘that aerial poking up out of that tree in the back garden’s a bit of a giveaway, I would have thought.’

  ‘It’s not for you to think, soldier. You just do what you’re told and keep quiet about it.’

  ‘Getting a bit big for your boots now you’ve been made up to corporal.’ Gordon feigned a mock salute, but he was still grinning. It seems nothing could offend him. ‘Right, I’d better be off, then.’

  ‘Oh, do have a cup of tea before you go,’ Lilian insisted.

  ‘You’re all right tonight, Mrs. I’ll be on me way. Maybe next time, eh?’ He shot a quick look at Steve as if to say it was his fault he wouldn’t stay any longer, but even so, there was no animosity in the glance.

  Steve didn’t leave until late and Carolyn walked to the gate with him. ‘I wish I’d known you were coming today,’ he said. ‘We could have gone into town this evening.’

  ‘That’s nice of you, Steve, and I would’ve liked that. But to be honest, I’ve been sent home on sick leave, but please don’t tell my mam. She’ll fuss. I’m so tired I wouldn’t have enjoyed it tonight. Maybe . . .’ She hesitated, suddenly a little shy. ‘Maybe later in the week, if you’re free.’

  She held her breath, wondering if she’d been too forward. Perhaps it was too soon after his awful loss. But then she sighed inwardly; she couldn’t go through life treading on eggshells. It was better to speak truthfully and naturally, rather than trying to tailor what she said. What had happened to Steve was unbearably tragic but he wasn’t the only one who, after this war, would have to try to build a new life for one reason or another. At least, she thought, there was perhaps a way her family could help him to do that.

  As if reading her thoughts, Steve said, ‘I do enjoy working with your dad and your grandpa. They’ve got a thriving little business there. Will Tom go into it too, d’you think?’

  Carolyn chuckled. ‘No, I don’t, or rather, I hope he doesn’t. He’s cack-handed with anything practical. He’s more academic. I think Mam’s got her sights on him going to university.’

  ‘Your dad’s hinted that there might be a job for me after the war, if – if I wanted it.’

  ‘And do you?’

  ‘That rather depends on you.’

  ‘Me? Why would I have anything to do with it?’

  ‘Because I’m falling in love with you, Carolyn, that’s why, but if you didn’t feel the same way, then I wouldn’t want to stay around here. And before you say it’s too soon after losing my wife, I do know it’s a bit quick but I just know that it’s not – what do they call it? – on the rebound. I know what I feel for you is genuine. It’s not the same sort of love as I felt for Sal. We were teenagers when we met and it was young love, without a doubt. Oh I’m not putting this very well, but I just know that, this time, what I’m beginning to feel for you is different. And besides’ – his tone hardened – ‘what she did to me while I was away in the forces, well, I’ll never forgive her for that. It’s – it’s tainted what we had.’

  Carolyn put her hand on his arm. ‘I understand exactly what you mean. I met someone when I first went away. The same time that Beryl met the father of her baby. We went out as a foursome to start with and then we paired off. I fell so hard for him, it’s untrue, but he wasn’t the man I thought he was and he let me down badly – very badly. I need time to learn to trust again, Steve, and you need time to come to terms with your terrible loss. So, let’s just take things slowly, eh? Be good friends first and see what happens?’

  Steve nodded. ‘That sounds like a very good idea and a sensible one. So are you up for a date sometime this week before you have to go back?’

  Carolyn smiled. ‘You’re on.’

  They saw a lot of each other for the rest of that week, and Carolyn wondered how and why he was able to take quite so much time off. By the end of the week, she knew.

  ‘Look, I didn’t want to tell you before. I didn’t want to spoil this time we’ve had together, but I’ve been posted abroad.’

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I thought, after all this time, you wouldn’t be going now.’

  ‘I thought so too, but I’m guessing that there’s one last big push coming. So many of the lads who have been out there for months, some of them probably since D-Day, must be exhausted.’ He grimaced. ‘They want fresh blood.’

  Carolyn shivered as a wave of cold apprehension ran through her. Huskily, she said, ‘Take care, won’t you?’

  But Steve only grinned with his old sense of humour. It was good to see.

  ‘I’ll do my best,’ was all he said.

  Fifty-Four

  Once Paris had been liberated in August and the Allies had chased the Germans from Belgium in September, the feeling of optimism grew. The British Government lifted some of the blackout restrictions in certain areas of the country, and young children saw street lighting for the first time in their lives, though in coastal areas the blackout restrictions remained in place. Victory in Europe seemed assured, but the war with Japan was far from over.

  Peter was coming home and both Beryl and Phyllis were overjoyed. He had been moved to a hospital further north and visiting for Beryl and Phyllis had been easier, but at last he was coming home.

  ‘Obviously, he’ll come here to the farm,’ Phyllis said to Beryl, ‘but please let me help you in any way I can to look after him. You’ll have your hands full with keeping house for Mr Frank, the little one and then Peter on top of everything else.’

  Beryl felt a twinge of doubt, but did her best to quell it. Give the woman a chance, a little voice inside her insisted. ‘Oh that would be wonderful, Granny, if you could. I was feeling a bit daunted by everything I’ll have to do.’

  Phyllis knew nothing of Beryl’s intercept work. When the news had first come through that Peter could come home, Beryl had said, ‘What shall I do, Mr Frank? Ought I to tell Captain Delaney so they can take all the equipment away?’

  ‘Do you still want to do it?’

  ‘Well, yes. I don’t think Peter will mind. What about you? Are you happy for me to carry on?’

  ‘Of course, but I think we’d better move everything into the spare bedroom on my side of the landing.’

  ‘Could we do that? You wouldn’t mind?’

  ‘Not a bit. Phyllis never normally goes into my side of the house upstairs but she’ll want to go up to see Peter, so I’ll put a lock on my spare bedroom door in case she decides to have a nosey. I wouldn’t put anything past her if she thought she’d been given the run of the house. There you are. Problem solved.’

  ‘How would you like us to organize it?’ Beryl asked Phyllis now. Again she was being crafty in putting the onus on the other woman as to what she could do.

  ‘What I thought is this: I’ll still come and do the dairy work every morning as normal and then I could sit with Peter and do anything he needs done, while you take Jamie out for a walk. You’ll both need to get a bit of exercise and fresh air. And I’ll be on hand, too, if Mr Frank needs any help.’

  The tension between Frank and Phyllis had lessened recently. He had observed her change of attitude and though he wasn’t quite ready to believe the woman totally, he too was prepared to give her a chance. She now came back into the farmhouse kitchen each morning for her elevenses and chatted with Frank as he sat by the range. He knew she was trying to get back into his good books as well as Beryl’s, but he had watched the interaction between the two women closely and had decided that if Beryl was prepared to bury the hatchet – as long as it wasn’t in each other’s heads – then so was he. But for the moment, he couldn’t help still being a little wary.

  One morning, when Beryl was attending to Jamie in her bedroom and Frank and Phyllis were alone over their morning cup of coffee, Frank said casually, ‘You seem a lot happier than you used to be, Phyllis, and I don’t think it’s just because Peter is back home, injured, I grant you, but it’s likely that he won’t be fit enough to return to the fighting. That must give you cause to be thankful.’

  It was at that moment that Beryl came down the stairs, her slippered feet making no sound. She was about to reach out to open the door into the kitchen, when she heard Frank’s words. She hesitated and bent a little closer to the door . . .

  In the kitchen, Phyllis was silent for a few moments and Frank thought she wasn’t going to reply. Then he heard her give a deep sigh as she raised her head and met his gaze. ‘I’ve been a stupid, ungrateful and bitter woman ever since my Raymond was killed. I railed against what I saw as the unfairness of it all. I never stopped to think that there were thousands of women in just the same circumstances as me, many of them in a far worse situation. At least I had a home, employment and my little boy. You’ve been so good to me and my family, Mr Frank, and I am grateful to you, even though over the years I haven’t shown it. And then there was my Peter and Carolyn.’ She paused a moment before going on. ‘It had always been my dearest wish – and Lilian’s – that they should marry and, for a long time, I blamed Carolyn for refusing him – which, I believed, had made him join up.’ She sighed. ‘I realize now that I was wrong. So wrong.’

  ‘You can’t arrange other people’s lives for them,’ Frank put in gently. ‘Not in this day and age. It’s a sad fact of life that you have to let the young ones make their own mistakes.’

  ‘I just hope Peter hasn’t made a big mistake.’

  ‘I’m sure he hasn’t. I think him and Beryl will be very happy together. She’s a good lass, I’m sure of it. Aye, she made a mistake, I grant you, but surely we’re allowed to be forgiven for one mistake in our lives, aren’t we?’

  ‘Oh I hope so, Mr Frank, I truly hope so.’ There was no mistaking the fervency in Phyllis’s tone. ‘I realize now that my bitterness and – and, yes, possessiveness – have made me say and do things I should never have done. I hope, too, that I can be forgiven.’

  On the other side of the door Beryl tiptoed back up the stairs.

  Peter was brought home by ambulance and put straight to bed. He was weary after the journey, but happy to be home. Beryl and Phyllis fussed over him and, being honest with himself, he quite enjoyed it for a while, though he hoped it wouldn’t last. He knew he’d soon get irritated if it went on too long. He lay back against the pillows, amused to see Jamie standing up in his cot on the far side of the bedroom, watching with wide blue eyes as to who this strange man was who had arrived in their lives.

  ‘How he’s grown. I hope he’s going to take to me.’

  ‘Of course he will,’ Beryl said. ‘He’s a placid little chap and friendly. He’ll soon get used to you being around.’

  Everyone who knew him came to visit over the next week or so, even Carolyn was able to wangle a compassionate forty-eight-hour leave.

  ‘Wasn’t easy.’ She grinned as she sat at the foot of his bed. ‘It’s not that long since I had almost a week at home. But I played a blinder, said you’d been like another brother to me.’

  ‘Talking of brothers, how’s Tom doing?’

  ‘He’s fine,’ Carolyn said guardedly.

  ‘Still listening in, is he?’

  Carolyn’s eyes widened. ‘You know about that?’

  Peter grinned. ‘Well, I do now. I haven’t actually had to sign the Official Secrets Act because of what Beryl is doing, because, as a member of the armed forces, I’m already bound by it.’

  Carolyn frowned. ‘What is Beryl doing?’

  ‘Oh heck. Didn’t you know? Oh Lor’. Me an’ my big mouth. Don’t say a word to Beryl. She’ll kill me.’

  Carolyn chuckled. ‘I very much doubt that, but no, don’t tell me any more. Though, actually, I think I can probably guess.’

  Later, in the kitchen, she caught up on all the local news from both Beryl and Phyllis.

  ‘And how is Grandad – really?’ she asked while Frank was out in the yard, talking to Harold.

  ‘Doing very well,’ Phyllis told her. ‘He was very lucky. It was a good job Beryl was here and acted so quickly. Everyone says so. She probably saved his life, or at least saved him from suffering far more serious after-effects. As it is, he’s recovering nicely. I noticed yesterday that he’s begun to walk without a stick again.’

  ‘I don’t think it’ll be long before Peter’s up and about too. Thank goodness he didn’t lose his leg.’

  Beryl and Phyllis exchanged a glance.

  ‘We think he might have a permanent limp though,’ Beryl said.

  ‘But he’s determined to get back working on the farm eventually,’ Phyllis added.

  ‘Well, if I know my grandad, he won’t push him. And I’m sure Peter will still be able to drive a tractor. Harold and Adam will see that he is given the jobs he can do.’

  ‘Everyone’s been so – so good,’ Phyllis said with a crack in her voice.

  ‘Well, I’d better be off,’ Carolyn said, ‘I’ve to go back tonight. This was just a flying visit on compassionate grounds and I probably won’t get back for several weeks now.’

  She hugged them both, surprised at herself for hugging Phyllis, but even she could see the change in the woman. Out in the yard she exchanged a few words with her grandfather and her uncle before bidding them a cheery farewell.

  ‘Might be a while before I get back, so behave yourselves.’

  As they said their goodbyes, Harold said, ‘I’ll come across after tea and take you to the station, lass.’

  Carolyn smiled her thanks and, as she left the farm, she glanced up at the tree standing at the corner of the house and was sure she could see a thin aerial poking out the top of it. So, she was right, she thought. Beryl was still doing her bit. Good for her. But as she walked back home, her smile faded. She had not confided her worries in anyone. She had not had word from Steve since he had been posted abroad. It must be chaos out there, she tried to tell herself – the last thing they’ll be able to think about is writing home – but it didn’t stop her worrying. When she arrived back at the cottage, her mother did nothing to help lift her mood.

  ‘Have you heard from Steve, Carolyn? We haven’t, and Gordon doesn’t seem to know anything either. Oh I do hope nothing has happened to him,’ Lilian fretted. ‘It’d be just too, too sad.’

  She wouldn’t let the subject drop all through tea and Carolyn was thankful to hear the farm truck draw up outside.

  ‘So, lass,’ Harold said as they trundled along the lane towards the town’s station. ‘How much longer do you reckon this lot’s going to go on, then? The newspapers do seem more hopeful now.’

  ‘I think the end of the war in Europe is in sight, Uncle, but not the one with Japan.’

  ‘Aye, that’s a nasty business. But the Americans are the main foe for them, aren’t they?’

  ‘In a way, but our lads are out there too. It won’t be truly over until the Japs are defeated as well.’

  ‘I’m just thankful Adam didn’t have to go. He got a bit twitchy when he reached eighteen, thinking he ought to volunteer, but I must admit, I persuaded him not to. He wouldn’t have been called up, of course, being in a reserved occupation.’

  ‘I don’t blame you, Uncle,’ Carolyn said swiftly. ‘I’m glad you did. We’ve got too many people we’re fond of already involved.’

  Once again, her thoughts turned to Steve.

  Fifty-Five

  Christmas 1944 came and went and although there was now real hope that the war would end in victory for the Allies, there were still many ups and downs along the way. It wasn’t until March, when they crossed the Rhine in a massive operation and captured Cologne, that everyone began to believe that the end was really in sight.

  But as the weeks went by, there was still no word from Steve.

  And then, almost when they weren’t expecting it, the war was over.

  ‘I’m so sorry that I can’t let all of you go out celebrating,’ the commander told all the ATS girls under her charge on the day that victory in Europe was announced. ‘We still have valuable work to do.’

  Although they were disappointed, all the operators understood what a difficult position their superior officer was in.

  ‘But,’ she went on, ‘what I can do is draw up a rota for you all to have some leave in turn over the next few weeks.’ She smiled, more in hope than with confidence, ‘Your supervisor has said that we can manage with a slightly reduced staff and I’m sure the celebrations in your homes will go on for some time. No doubt, your families will put on something special for you. I’ll do my best to give you advance notice of when each of you can go home so that you can let them know.’

  ‘Any idea when we’ll get demobbed, ma’am?’ Noreen asked.

  Miss Everatt smiled. ‘Are you arranging a wedding, Hunter?’

  ‘Not exactly, ma’am, but I have heard from my fiancé that he is coming back here as soon as he can.’

  ‘Is that the American?’

 

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