Forever Yours, page 2
Meg squeezed past Phil into the warmth of his home. “You need to put salt on your sidewalk.”
He closed the door. “You didn’t fall, did you?”
She shook her head as she shrugged out of her coat. “I have impeccable balance. Even on ice.”
“Good.” He took her coat and hung it on the hook by the wall. “Mal told me about—”
Meg lifted her hand before he could say the name that had been rolling through her mind all afternoon and evening. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Well, it’s just that…” His words faded as the front door opened.
Just as she’d done earlier in the day, Meg froze as she came face-to-face with Aiden.
He stopped too, but he managed to give her a weak smile. “Hey. I didn’t know you were coming for dinner.”
Her stomach knotted. He was here for dinner too?
Holding up a bag from the little grocery store a few blocks away, he said, “Mal forgot to get garlic bread. We can’t have lasagna without garlic bread.”
“Oh, no,” Meg said, her voice holding the same sharp edge she’d heard come from her lips earlier. “We certainly can’t.”
Phil hesitantly grabbed the bag. “I’ll take this to the kitchen. You two…be nice,” he muttered before rushing from the room.
Meg realized she’d ground her teeth together and had to force her jaw to relax. “I didn’t know you were going to be here.”
“Uh, Phil invited me. Last minute. I’m sure he didn’t know you were going to be here. I can go.”
“No,” Meg said quickly. She bit at her lip, trying to get control of her mouth. “Look. This is awkward. For both of us. But Phil is your cousin and Mallory is my best friend. They’re about to have a baby, so…” She exhaled harshly. “So we’re going to see each other and we need to deal with that.”
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He sounded sincere, which softened her anger a bit.
“Well, this is uncomfortable, and we’re just going to have to work through it. We’re adults, Aiden,” she said with a conviction that she didn’t feel, but she’d be damned if she would admit how shaken she was at seeing him again. “What happened between us was a long time ago. We just have to work through the awkwardness.”
He frowned and shoved his hands in his pockets. That was the same uneasy posture he’d taken moments before shattering her heart four years ago. “When I saw you at the office yesterday,” he started.
Her heart twisted around in her chest, waiting for him to continue. He didn’t have the power to hurt her anymore—she had nothing left that he could take—but the anxiety still built in her chest.
“I was surprised to see you. I thought at some point that I might seek you out, but I wasn’t expecting to see you. I wanted to apologize to you,” he said. “I want to apologize to you.”
“For?”
The already thick tension between them increased. “For leaving the way I did. I know I hurt you. I am so sorry for that. And I want you to know…it wasn’t you.”
Meg lifted her brows before she snorted a sarcastic, disbelieving laugh. “I know it wasn’t me, Aiden. I never, for one moment, thought it was me.” Her anger reignited, she let the words tumble unchecked. “It was you and your stupid blow-smoke-up-my-ass attitude that made you think you were too good for this town and everyone in it, including me. It was that Golden Boy ego that your parents instilled in you. Oh my God.” She laughed and shook her head. “You know what hurt me? Not that you left. What hurt me was the way you did it. Without warning or notice. Just, ‘See ya, Meg. Thanks for being my doormat for the last two years.’”
He widened his eyes and jerked back as if she’d struck him. “That’s not what you were.”
“Really? Then what was I?”
He opened his mouth, but no words came out.
“Yeah,” she said when his silence proved her point. “You used me.”
“I didn’t.”
“You did.”
The muscles in his jaw tensed as he continued to stare at her. He furrowed his brow and pressed his lips into a thin line, seemingly angered by her accusation.
“The moment you no longer needed a chemistry tutor and a bed warmer, you were gone.”
“That’s—”
“Completely accurate. Don’t bother trying to tell me I was more than that.”
“You were.”
She didn’t mean her voice to sound so broken, but her pain was obvious when she asked, “Then why did you walk away?”
“I’m sorry.”
She wanted to believe him, but she’d been fooled by his sad act more than once when they were dating. Instead of caving, she rolled her eyes and looked away. “I’m sure.”
“I am. I’ve grown up, Meg.”
She considered his words for a moment. “I hope so, Aiden. I certainly hope so because you had plenty of growing up to do. I’m going to go see if Mallory needs help.”
She marched toward the kitchen without looking back.
Aiden felt like an outsider as the small gathering sat around the table. Meg and Phil’s daughter Jessica sat next to each other, chattering with the ease of old friends while Mallory and Phil sat side by side with the comfort their marriage afforded them. Aiden sat at the end of the table by himself. He was determined to be part of his family, but the casual interactions between everyone else was a reminder that he didn’t belong.
“The lasagna looks delicious, Mal,” he said, attempting to insert himself into the conversation.
“Grandma made it,” Jessica announced. She spoke slowly, enunciating her words so he could understand her. Her Down syndrome could make it hard for people to decipher her words when she talked too quickly, and apparently she’d noticed. Eventually he’d spend enough time around her that he could keep up with her usual mile-a-minute chatter.
“Hey,” Mallory stated, shocked. “I baked it.”
“But Grandma put it together and told you how to bake it.”
Without thinking, Aiden said, “Have you ever had Meg’s lasagna? It’s pretty good.”
Jessica looked from Meg to Aiden and then back. “How does he know that?”
Meg winked at Jessica. “Because my cooking is legendary, sweetie. I’m famous all around the world for my amazing culinary skills.”
Jessica widened her eyes. “Wow.”
“Don’t lie to the child,” Mallory chastised.
Aiden cleared his throat. “Uh, Meg and I used to be really good friends before I moved away. I ate her cooking sometimes.”
“All the time. He doesn’t cook,” Meg said to her little friend.
“Lots of men don’t,” Jessica said, as if she would know. “The only reason Daddy learned to cook is because he didn’t want to eat Grandma’s hippie grub.”
Phil laughed. “Mom prefers clean eating, which isn’t always the tastiest.”
Meg nudged her. “But she makes a mean lasagna.”
As the talk about food continued, Aiden started to relax. The lasagna was delicious, the talk casual, and he began to feel like he belonged. The easy atmosphere changed with one shocked gasp from Mallory. The talk stopped and everyone looked at her.
“What is it?” Phil asked.
“Just a kick to the rib,” she said breathlessly.
Phil didn’t seem convinced, and neither was Aiden. Mallory had lost a few shades of color from her cheeks, and a hint of concern shaded her gray eyes. Aiden started to get up to check on her, but she darted her eyes across the table at Jessica.
“Hey, you know what I need?” Aiden asked. “Parmesan cheese. Jess, is there any in the fridge?”
“I’ll check.”
As soon as she was gone, Aiden said with a lowered voice, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Mal insisted. “Just a little discomfort. But I’m about to pop a baby in a month, so that’s normal. Right?”
Meg leaned forward, pinning Mallory with a concerned gaze. “What kind of discomfort?”
Before she could answer, Jess returned and handed Aiden a bottle of pre-grated cheese. The tension around the table returned, but this time, it wasn’t between Aiden and Meg. Phil continually glanced at Mallory, who had become unusually quiet. Meg did a good job of distracting Jessica, and their conversation filled the room. By the concerned look on Phil’s face, Aiden guessed this wasn’t the first time Mallory had had such severe “discomfort.”
Chapter Three
Meg left Mallory’s the moment she could make an escape without being rude. She thought she’d done a pretty good job of hiding how eager she was to get away from Aiden. When Mallory started texting her just a few minutes after Meg arrived home, she used the opportunity to push Mallory to call Phil’s mom. Kara was a midwife and would drop everything to check on Mallory.
As soon as Mal confirmed that Kara had arrived, Meg sank into a hot tub to try to wash thoughts of Aiden away. But she hadn’t relaxed a bit. She kept replaying old memories of Aiden over and over in her mind. And then the recent one that was even more unnerving: his attempts at an apology. That night as she fell asleep, she was haunted by her conflicted feelings about Aiden past and Aiden present.
When she woke up after a restless night of bad dreams, she immediately texted to check on Mallory. And of course the very next thing she did was replay memories of Aiden breaking her heart. She battled her thoughts on the entire drive to work.
The morning passed in a fog of fatigue and frustration. She was struggling to concentrate on her work when Courtney, the office receptionist, poked her head into Meg’s office.
“Hey,” Courtney said with a tone of uncertainty. The usually perky woman bit her lip before whispering, “Aiden is here. He’s asking for you.”
Her first reaction was surprise. Why would he be there to see her? But she did her best to smile as if she were expecting him. “Thanks,” she said as lightly as possible. If she let Courtney know how unsettled she was, that would only give everyone more to talk about. Instead, she walked into the lobby of the O’Connell Realty office as confidently as she would any other time. “I’ve got this,” she announced, and like meerkats dropping back into their holes, the other agents disappeared into their offices. Even if they weren’t watching, Meg suspected their ears would be tuned in.
“Mallory isn’t here,” she said to him. “Kara put her on bedrest until she can see her obstetrician.”
“I know. I actually came to see you. If you aren’t busy, do you think we could…”
He left the rest of his statement unspoken. She wanted to scream at him. He always did that. He always left things unsaid. and she’d finish his thoughts for him. He somehow thought that mattered. That he deserved credit for showing up and uttering just a few words. It didn’t count. Unspoken words didn’t count. Not anymore.
“What?” She refused to even consider budging until he said what he meant.
“Talk. About us. Where we go from here.”
“Where we go?”
He shuffled his feet and stuffed his hand in his pockets. “I mean…how we make it easier to be around each other.”
“I’m at work.”
“Maybe I can steal you away for a coffee break?”
She wanted to refuse him. She should refuse him. However, if she didn’t settle this now, she was never going to get anything done anyway. She’d replay him leaving and her broken heart and this conversation. She’d replay every moment she ever spent with him and every moment she spent missing him. The only way to break that insanity-inducing cycle before it started was to deal with him now.
She frowned, certain she was going to regret this. “Let me grab my things.”
He smiled in response, and she wanted to retract her offer. He was getting his way. As always.
Meg reminded herself this wasn’t about Aiden. This was about her. She was doing this to put the past to rest for herself. Not him. After gathering her coat and purse, she leaned into her boss’s office. “I’ll be back.”
“Take your time,” Marcus said.
She hadn’t doubted the entire office knew the situation, but the paternal concern in his voice confirmed it. She’d seen that same look on his face when he was worried about Mallory, his wife, or his sister.
She didn’t say anything to Aiden as they left the warmth of the office and marched toward her car.
Aiden matched her rushed stride. “A lot has changed since I left.”
“Yes, I know.”
“But the town still feels the same,” he said once they were inside the car, “like nothing has changed at all. It’s strange. Like living in some alternate universe.”
She didn’t respond. Nothing that came to her mind was nice. Maybe if he hadn’t left, he would have been here when the café had been remodeled. Maybe if he hadn’t left, he wouldn’t feel so strange being here now. Maybe if he hadn’t left, they would have made all their big dreams and out-of-reach goals a reality. Maybe she wouldn’t have been too emotionally distraught to finish school and would have become a doctor like she’d planned.
She slammed her car door harder than was necessary and shoved the key into the ignition. The café was within walking distance, but she wasn’t wearing the right shoes or the right attitude to go that far with Aiden at her side. She’d be too tempted to slip off her red Kenneth Cole bootie and shove the pointed heel through his eye.
He cleared his throat. “It’s great that Mallory and Phil are having a baby, huh?”
Just like that, the sharp edge of her attitude softened, and she relaxed into a genuine smile for the first time since he’d suddenly appeared back in her life. Even Aiden couldn’t diminish Meg’s excitement about the baby. “Yes. It’s wonderful.”
“Do you know what they’re having?”
“They want to be surprised,” Meg said. “I can’t imagine not knowing. It would drive me crazy.”
Aiden laughed. “You always did have to plan ahead. You take Type A to the next level.”
Her smile fell as she glanced over at him. He opened his mouth but didn’t try to correct himself. She didn’t correct him either, mostly because he was right. At least he used to be. He apparently hadn’t realized the Meg of today was a different woman than the one he’d left behind. He claimed that he had changed over the last few years, but so had she. Apparently he didn’t see that, but that didn’t surprise her. Aiden always had preferred to live with his head shoved firmly up his ass.
She parked in front of Stonehill Café and climbed out, not bothering to wait for her passenger. Even so, he rushed around her to reach the door first, which he held open for her. She filled with dread once they were inside. Her attention settled on several familiar faces, and they all froze as Aiden moved to her side.
“Great,” she whispered, knowing this would be the talk of their old social circles in no time. She looked at Aiden and was certain the same thought crossed his mind. He offered what could pass as a sympathetic smile.
Debbie Cooper finished muttering to her friends as she slid from the booth and rushed toward the former couple. “Oh, my,” she cooed as innocently as a serial killer. “If it isn’t Doctor Aiden Howard. How are you?”
“I’m good. You?”
“Just great. Hi, Megumi.” She always said Meg’s full name.
Meg hadn’t determined if it was because her name was unique or because Debbie thought using her given name would remind Meg that she was Japanese. Meg figured it was the latter, but she didn’t let it bother her. Debbie had dated one of Aiden’s friends when they were in college, but she’d clearly been one of those women who treated the campus as husband-hunting ground. She’d finished her degree and gone straight into professional child rearing.
Debbie grinned that beauty pageant grin of hers. “Well, I never thought I’d see you two together again. I mean, after the way you left, Aiden. Poor Megumi was devastated. We all were.”
Meg scoffed at the blatant insincerity of the statement. “We’re just having coffee, Debbie. Nothing to get excited about.”
“Well, it’s the perfect day for a hot cup of coffee.”
“Sure is. Have a good day.” Meg moved around the woman, dismissing her and her fake smiles. She dropped into a booth and let out a long breath. She didn’t have to look in Debbie’s direction to know the woman was keeping a close eye on what was happening at their table.
Aiden looked around before he finally seemed to work up the courage to speak. “I’ve wanted to apologize to you. For a long time. I just…I guess I was too much of a coward. But I am so sorry for the way I left. In my mind, I decided it was the best thing for both of us. You needed to finish med school, and I wanted to go forward with my residency.”
“I’m going to call bullshit on that,” Meg stated. She stopped when someone approached their table. “Hey, Jenna,” she said to the café owner. “How are you feeling?”
The owner of the café touched her pregnant belly. “Like a punching bag. She’s going crazy today. How are you?” Her question echoed with an edge in her tone.
Meg knew what she was really asking. Small-town news traveled fast. No doubt Jenna knew Aiden was Meg’s ex.
“I’m okay,” Meg said, answering the real question. “Can I get a coffee?”
“Sure thing. And for you?”
“Same,” Aiden answered.
When they were alone, Meg continued. “We’d had a hundred conversations about our plans for the future, and not once did that include you ending things to move away. You blindsided me, and you did that intentionally. We had agreed on the list of places you were going to apply because they were close to schools where I could transfer. We had planned to make that move together, Aiden. You didn’t even tell me you had applied to a residency in New York. You hid that from me. You lied to me about your intentions. Instead of just telling me you didn’t want the life we had talked about, you bailed without warning. I should have seen it coming. I think on some level I did, but I’d convinced myself I was wrong about you. I wasn’t.”
