The Beginning: White Lilies, page 1
White Lilies
The Beginning
Mandy Adler
Amanda Adler
Copyright © 2017 Amanda Adler
All rights reserved.
White Lilies Series Reading Order
The Beginning
From the Other Side
Burning Heart
White Lilies
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 1
I never thought twice about what it would be like to lose a parent. No one ever expects it to happen to them. My name is Lillian, but everyone calls me Lily.
I just lost my mom. The hardest day of my life was when I came home to the flashing lights- to find my mom screaming in a fire. I was very close to my mom. Her and my dad divorced when I was three, and while I used to go visit him, I hadn’t in years. I was with my mom every day for the last sixteen years. We had the storybook relationship, told secrets, trusted each other, and did almost everything together. I feel lost without her.
So now here I am on a plane from Austin, Texas heading to a small town in Maine to live with my dad. Even better, it’s the end of January so it’s cold, very cold. I don’t much care for snow, not that we got all that much in Texas but I always enjoyed the summer months- the heat of the sun.
As I'm sitting here in my blue jeans, black long sleeve t-shirt, and black cowboy boots, I must wonder if I'm going to fit in here with these kids. Even worse, it just had to be middle of a school year where friends and groups have already formed. I mean I wasn’t really popular at my last school, but at least I started that school at the beginning of the year. Oh well, new schools were nothing different, but at least we had always stuck to the south.
As the plane went to land, I started to panic. It’s just too much too fast, I haven’t seen my dad in six years! What if we don’t get along? What if he is too strict? It’s been a long time and I'm not ten years old anymore.
"Are you okay?" The lady seated beside me asked kindly.
"Yes, I’m fine. Just a nervous flier." I lied. I wasn’t really a nervous flier, granted it was my first flight. But I thought it was fine, not at all as scary as actually trying to get on the plane, now that was kind of scary.
"Alright, you just looked a bit green, I thought the landing might have scared you.” She replied sweetly.
"Nope, I'm good, just ready to get off this plane,” I told her while reaching for my bag from the overhead compartment. "See you later!" I called over my shoulder while moving down the aisle. Okay, here we go, suck it up and play it brave.
As I get off the plane, I’m silently repeating my mantra. ‘Okay, brave face, brave face.’ I searched for my way out of the tiny airport. When I finally reached the parking lot, I recognized him right away even though I haven’t seen him in six years. I waved my arm to try to get his attention when finally, he sees me.
"Wow, Lily you really grew up!" He yelled as heading towards me.
"Well, I am sixteen now, not ten," I replied softly.
"I know. I just didn’t expect you to look so much like your mom." My eyes start immediately tearing up. “Oh honey, I’m so sorry about your mom. Please don’t cry." He pulled me in for a small, one-armed hug.
"I'm okay," I told him, trying to keep the tears at bay. "I just really miss her."
"I know baby, but it’ll get easier. We will make this work with you and me. I’ve already got some stuff in your room, you can go shopping later for whatever else to make yourself comfortable." Dad reasoned as we headed for his Jeep. I don’t know that this pain does get any easier, it’s hopeful thinking though.
I did look a lot like my mom, with my brown hair and size. She was about five-four with light brown hair like mine, and brown eyes. I’m not short, but at only five-three I didn’t get it from my six-two dad. My hair comes about halfway down my back and I mostly keep it up because it’s always in the way, but mom had loved it so I kept it long. My dad has blonde hair and dark blue eyes, I really don’t look anything like him at all. I have these vibrant green eyes that almost seemed to glow, they were my favorite feature- though they don’t really shine too much lately.
It was a quiet drive. I think we didn’t know quite what to say to each other yet. maybe it will just take some time to get to know each other again. My dad was the doctor for the local hospital. I think that’s part of the reason my parents split when I was three, my dad was a serious person with big goals, while mom was… well, not. She loved painting and switched jobs at least every six months, we moved at least once a year. She hated living in the same place too long. My dad, on the other hand, lives in the same house he grew up in, his parents died a year before I was born and left it to him. He is very steady, solid, responsible. That’s the one thing that I got that from him. I didn’t mind moving around, but it would have been nice to stay in one spot long enough to make friends. Not just people I just pretended to be friends with but didn’t let myself be close to- because I knew I wouldn’t be there long.
As we drove up to the familiar house, I started to think that maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. I could actually make some friends and put down roots. Immediately the guilt set in. How can I think that with mom not here? Okay, I have to try and make this best of this or I am going to drown in my own grief, and that is not what my mom would have wanted. She was always telling me to live for the moment, to stop being so serious and enjoy life… always. Alright, mom, I’m going to try and change here. Yep live in the moment, take risks. Here we go, a new me. No more shyness and seriousness. If I see an adventure, I'm going to seize it and let it whisk me away. Yeah, we’ll just see how that goes.
“Okay Lil, here we are. Home sweet home.” Dad announced as we were getting out of the car. I sucked in a breath as I walked through the front door. Okay, well… at least everything looks the same as I remember.
“Do you want to head up to your room and get settled first or go get some dinner?” Dad asked, setting my one bag down in front of the stairs.
“Um, let’s go eat first.” I was trying really hard to forget that everything I now own is in that one, tiny bag. Everything else had been lost in the fire.
“Alright, there’s this place in town, I’m sure you remember it’s the best place to eat.” Dad laughed as we headed back out to the jeep.
“Dad hasn't been here in years, are you talking about that old club we used to go to by the woods?” I replied, not that there are many choices here. There are maybe four places to go out to eat… total.
“Yep, and people are dying to see you. They haven’t seen you since you were here last.” Dad told me as we started heading to the club.
“Dad I don’t remember many people, when I came down we mostly stayed around home,” I told him. Besides, it’s not like I’m a social person as it is.
“Yes, I know. But I am your dad and I do like to brag about my daughter with the 4.0 GPA.”
“Dad!” I said in mock outrage. I knew he bragged, what parent didn’t? I was just pleased he thought of me enough to brag.
“Um, so honey how have been feeling lately?” He was suddenly serious. Huh? Seriously, mom just died... can’t he guess how I’m feeling?
“Well...” I started.
“No, I mean health wise.” Dad corrected. Health wise? Had he lost his mind?
“Well I get hot flashes sometimes, but I think that’s normal growing up stuff.” God, please don’t let him be having the ‘what happens to women’ talk, mom beat him to it years ago.
“Yeah, probably.” Dad sounded unsure. Well, that was weird, wonder where that came from.
Maybe we just need time to get to know each other again. After all, it has been a long time.
Chapter 2
We pulled up to the club and it slowly started looking a little more familiar. We got out and starting walking towards the old building. It was on the edge of the woods and looked very outdoorsy. It was two stories and very long. It was a massive building that had a tennis court, indoor pool, and of course The Diner. But it also had tons of rooms they rented out. Huge windows were everywhere, and a rose vine crawled over the front door. It was beautiful. As we walked in I didn’t see anyone I thought I knew, but lots of people were staring. Kind of creeping me out, and really making me blush. I always blushed, it had always been my tell-all.
“Dad people are looking,” I whispered.
“Of course they are,” he replied. “The daughter of the good doctor and ever missed Bree is back. You have to remember your mother was very loved and well known around here before she left.”
Uh no, that’s not something I knew. Mom never talked about back home, only that she didn’t ever want to come back here. She was always saying this place would suck me into this hole, and want to keep me forever. She was a tad eccentric, but I loved her even more for it.
“Oh, okay.” I wasn’t sure what else to say. Okay now, remember, I am the new, reinvented Lily – no more shyness and all that jazz. I am turning over a new leaf.
Dad led me to a table, sat down, and started looking over the menu. I bet he had it memorized.
“Well hello there. You must be Lillian, you look just like Bree.” I turn and see a man standing at least six-four, with curiosity in his brown eyes.
“Umm yes, but it’s just Lily.” I had to clear my throat before I could speak. And I thought my dad was tall! Did they put miracle grow in the water here?
“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m Marc and the manager here. I knew your mom back when we went to school together. I’m very sorry to hear what happened.” He sounded honest enough.
“Yeah, me too,” I replied, noticing my dad stiffen a bit.
“Hey Jimmy, how have you been lately? Haven’t seen you here in a while.” Marc told my dad.
“Yeah, been busy at the hospital. You know how it goes.” My dad said, with what sounded like a little bit of annoyance.
The man, Marc, took a hard look at my dad. And my dad quickly looked away. Wow. “Make sure you bring her in, you know the rules. Don’t make Connor have to pay a visit.” Marc said to my dad while my dad looked relatively nervous.
“Pay a visit to where?” I asked. And why would dad have an issue with that? “What are you guys talking about? Dad?”
Dad just looked at me and said, “We will talk about it later when we get home.” Well, ok then.
“She doesn’t know? Didn’t Bree talk to her?” Marc asked my dad in a sharp tone, eyeing me over. Hey, now buddy.
“Talk to me about what?!” I asked this was really starting to make me mad. Good grief, enough of the secrets. If it was about my mom, I had a right to know.
“I will bring her in tomorrow night.” My dad replied as if I wasn’t even sitting here. He wasn’t looking at the man either, just staring at the table in front of him.
“No, we will send someone. You are not allowed to come here after dark. You know that.” Marc replied evenly. These guys were getting on my last nerve. “Make sure you talk to her. I’ll send someone to pick her up after school tomorrow.” He then walked off without even a parting word. What the heck?
“Dad, what is going on? Where do I have to go and why can’t you come?” And why were you two acting so strangely?
“I will tell you everything when we get home, I promise. Let’s just have a nice meal first. Please.” Dad said before ordering me a chef salad and himself a steak and baked potato.
“Alright...” I replied. What could be going on? That was the oddest conversation I had ever heard. What isn’t dad telling me? Why did he act almost scared of that guy? That’s not like him. My dad is a respected doctor. Oh God! Here it comes again, the hot flashes. Breathe, just breathe.
“Dad, I’ll be right back, I just need some air,” I said as I started to stand. Out, I needed out.
“Are you sure? The food will be here any minute, Lil.” Dad replied, looking at me with concern. He started to stand, but I just waved him off.
“Yeah, I’ll just be a minute.” I was already started to sweat. I needed to get out of this room, and away from all the secrets.
The was heat rising. I could feel my face turning red as I headed out a door that I hope leads to the garden. I sat on a bench with my head in my hands as I waited for it to pass. I’ve been having these episodes for a few months now, I never told mom. I hated worrying her. Every time my temperature went up, even a little, she would freak out. Not sure why, but I always figured it was a mom thing. Now I'm starting to wonder. Could there be something wrong with me? Is that why everyone is acting so strange? Am I sick or something? Why wouldn’t anyone tell me about it if that were the case?
“Well, hello there. I don’t think I have seen you here before.” I jumped and let out a little yelp as a guy who looked to be around my age sat down beside me.
He was tall, had sun darkened skin and almost black hair that fell into his eyes. He was gorgeous. I, of course, blushed.
“What are you doing out here? You can’t belong to the club, I’ve never seen you before.” His eyes narrowed at me. What the heck? Who did he think he was, telling me where I should be? I wasn’t hurting anyone.
“I'm Lily, and I didn’t know I needed to ask anyone to come out here. I'm here with my dad, Jimmy Heart.” I stated raising my chin. I looked straight at him and he looked surprised. He had the most amazing eyes. Amber in color, they almost seemed to glow. Just looking at him made my heart pound. God, talk about crushing at first sight. Ugh, I was being so cliché.
“Oh, you must be Bree’s kid then. My name is Zach, my uncle is the owner here.” He said still looking at me keenly.
I felt like I should drop my gaze, like I really needed to stop looking at his eyes. Though, I'm not sure why. I looked down and replied, “Um, I'm sorry… I didn’t know. I just needed some air, I can go back in.” His presence alone made my stomach stir with butterflies.
As I started to stand, I caught sight of the tiki torch I didn’t know was there. And… fell to the ground sucking in breaths. Great, another panic attack. I kept seeing my mother in that house, completely engulfed in flames. The screaming, oh god. I felt a hand on my shoulder and it seemed to have a sedative effect. My breathing slowed and my heart rate went back to normal. My vision eventually returned to the here and now. I looked up and saw Zach looking down at me with pity in his eyes. God, everyone was going to see me as this pathetic girl who just falls apart all the time.
Thinking this, my was voice sharp as I said, “I’m fine, I just...” What? What could I say that wouldn’t make me look crazy or pathetic?
“I know. I heard about your mom, I'm really sorry. Mine died when I was born, I know it’s not the same… but I'm still sorry.” He replied softly. He wasn’t looking at me but off to the side, as if lost in thought.
“Please don’t tell anyone about this… please. I just want to have a normal first day at school tomorrow, I don’t need everyone looking at me like I’m a freak.” I said to the ground. They would find out eventually, but I would rather wait as long as I could.
He pulled me to look at him, tilting my chin up with his finger. “It doesn’t make you weak just because you're grieving. I’ll see you tomorrow. Senior, right?” I nodded. I loved learning, another thing that made me an oddity. “So am I, so we are bound to see each other again tomorrow.” He then got up and walked back to the club. Before he disappeared inside, he turned and called back. “Keep your head up. I have a feeling things are going to change soon.” He shot me a smile and walked through the door.
I just sat there. What was that? I’ve never felt so calm around anyone since the fire. I spent a week in the hospital because of shock, and no meds they gave helped.
While I was stood there stewing in my own head, dad walked out, “Lil, are you okay? What are you doing? Were you talking to Zach?” Dad asked me, sounding oddly panicked. Chill pill dad, take a chill pill.
“Yes, He was nice. He just introduced himself and said he’ll see me at school.” I left out the part of the panic attack. No need to worry the man that his daughter was afraid of the world, even though I wasn’t really in it. I just stood outside and had to watch it burn while firefighters scrambled about, trying clear the flames. Listening to my mother’s screams was pure torture.
Dinner was good, even though we didn’t talk much. I figured he was gearing up to talk about whatever he had to tell me at home.
“I don’t think you should hang out with Zach, he’s trouble.” I just stared at dad. Where did that come from? That is the last thing I thought he would say.
“He seemed nice enough,” I said not knowing what else to say. What is dad’s deal? Since when did he have an opinion on who my friends were?
Suddenly, I heard a beeping sound. “Crap, it’s the hospital. I need to run in. But I should be back by the time you go to bed, then we need to talk.”
“Okay. Is everything alright?” I asked my frazzled looking dad.
“Yes, just the duties of a doctor. If I don’t get home in time to talk to you, the keys to the neon are on the hanging by the door. You can take it to school tomorrow. But come straight home afterward, and we’ll talk.”
“Okay.” I wasn’t sure what else to say, this was a bizarre night.
We pulled in the drive and dad dropped me off at front of the house. I stood on the porch and waved as he drove away. I turned around and walked into the house, my house… I guess. I grabbed my bag and walked up the stairs to get a look at the room I haven’t seen in six years. I opened the door and stopped, my eyes watering. Dad had been shopping. There was a twin bed with new black and silver bed-set on it, a black fuzzy rug in the center on the hardwood floor, and a new desk with a laptop in the corner of the room. He wanted me to feel at home. I should try harder, he wants me to be happy here… so bad. I am going to try my best and look to the positive, a new beginning.
