The Beginning: White Lilies, page 2
I put my bag down on the bed, unzipped it, and started unpacking. I pulled out the little bit of clothes I had and hung them up. I pulled the picture, still in its frame, from my bag and set it on the bedside table. It was of my mother and me at the beach. Both of us were smiling, arms around each other. My eyes start to water as I remembered the fun we had that day, with no worries. That’s how she was, always living without restrictions. She had always said you should live every moment for yourself, and not let anyone ever control you. She said you never knew when things would change, and you could no longer be in control of yourself anymore. I never understood that. How can you not be in control of yourself? I laid down on the bed and pulled the iPod from my bag, and turned it on as loud as it would go… and let my thoughts wander. I didn’t plan to fall asleep, but I had to tune the thoughts in my head out somehow. So, I just lay there listening to the music, just staring at the ceiling fan going around.
Chapter 3
I woke up to the alarm on the side-table going off. I tried to reach over and smack it but got tangled in the headphones of my iPod instead. I finally got myself untangled, and turned the alarm off. Five-Thirty, ugh. Dad must not have gotten back till late last night. Guess I won’t know the secrets he was keeping until later. I headed downstairs and looked out the front window. Huh, dad’s Jeep still isn’t back yet, he must have had to pull an all-nighter. I headed back upstairs to take a shower. Might as well start getting ready for school. I am not going to worry about what dad needs to tell me until I was forced to.
I decided to leave my hair down, first impressions and all that. Mom had always said my hair looked better down. I dressed in my jeans and a t-shirt with a gray pull over sweater. I’ve never been much for fashion. I pulled on my sneakers, I don’t have my schedule yet and don’t know if I have gym. I headed down stairs and pulled a bowl out of the cabinet and looked for some cereal. Ah Ha. Dad went grocery shopping. I pulled out the fruit loops and sat down to eat breakfast.
…And started to worry. What was school going to be like? Will the kids be friendly? Will I get to see Zach again? No, no. No boys. What am I thinking? He probably thought I was pathetic. I will not start my first day at a new school worrying about boys. Besides, remember, new Lily, no more shyness and I'm going to learn to not be as responsible. One thing at a time, no reason worrying about stuff I can’t control. So, with that, I stood. I carried my bowl to the sink, grabbed my bag and keys, and headed out.
There was a note left on the passenger seat of the car. I grabbed it, unfolding the paper so I could read it. Dad must have dropped it off sometime last night.
Lil, I had to pull an all-nighter. I’ll talk to
you after school, have a great day and be careful.
-Dad
The drive to school was quick, and I didn’t have any trouble finding it. It’s a small town so most of the roads get you where to need to go eventually. I pulled into the lot and parked in the first place I saw. I grabbed my bag and hopped out of the neon and headed towards the sign that said ‘Office’. I got here early so there were not a lot of kids around yet, but the early-birds like me were… staring. Great… this is going to be a blast. The new kid at a small school is something to really talk about.
I opened the door to the office an older lady with a sweet smile saw me. “You must be Lillian Heart.”
“Yes, ma’am. My dad said he already enrolled me, but I needed to come get my schedule.” I told her. He had wanted me to wait until next week, but I had already missed enough school. And sitting at home was pure torture, better to stay busy.
“Yes, I have it right here.” She said as she handed me the slip of paper.
“Give me a second and I’ll have someone show you to your first class.” She pressed a button and spoke into it clearly. A girl with blonde hair, blue eyes, and dressed in jeans and a shirt, that I thought would be against any dress code, walked in.
“Hi. I'm Sue, the student body president. I’ll walk you to your first class.” I smiled at her and told her thanks. As we walked out I realized it was all an act. She opened her mouth and I instantly disliked her. “Okay. Here’s the run-down. I control this school, so I can tell you what’s what. I am also the head cheerleader. And if you want to live out this school year in peace, you better stay on my good side.” Wow. I'm not an aggressive person, so what am I supposed to say to that? I had visions dancing in my head of her leading an army of bumble bees, all lined up and not really knowing what they were supposed to be doing. They probably went around stinging innocent people in the butt. Queen bees… every school had them.
“Um, okay. Sure. See you later.” I said then ducked into my first class of the day. Well, she was… something.
Math. Okay, I can do that. Learning is something I know. I handed my slip to the teacher and Mr. Kane sent me to an open desk by the window. I went and sat down, trying to not look at all the kids staring at me. I had never been comfortable with the attention you get from being the new kid, or any attention really. Someone sat behind me, I know this because I heard the seat scrape across the floor. It was a nerving sound. Being I was still staring at my notebook trying not to be noticed, I didn’t look see who it was.
“Told you I would see you here.” Said a familiar voice from behind me. I looked back, Zach is sitting behind me, smiling. He looked pleased enough to see me.
“Yeah, I guess you did,” I replied softly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. Willing myself not to blush, I turned back around as the bell rang for class to start.
I could feel him behind me the whole time. The calming effect he seems to put off, and something…else. I’m sure I was fidgeting the whole time.
Class went by smoothly enough and when the bell rang to release us I gathered my stuff up to get ready for my next class.
“Hey, I'm Abby. You must be Lillian.” Said a girl that stood in front of me as I stood up.
I glanced behind me at Zach, he was waiting to pass, but still smiling kindly. I needed out of this class room before I made a fool of myself. We moved aside to let Zach pass.
“Lily. It’s nice to meet you.” I replied. Great. Let’s hope this one is nicer. Queen bee was sure to have a swarm of followers.
“What’s your next class?” She asked as we started walking out. She seemed to be trying to strike up a conversation.
“Umm, Chem, I think.” See? I can be normal. I looked at my schedule to confirm. Yep, Chemistry is was.
“Oh. Well, I have that class next to. I’ll walk with you.” She seemed friendly enough. We started walking down the hall and I stopped at my locker to put my bag and math book in. She waited beside me, chatting about something. I couldn’t really focus on her words.
“Hey, I’ll be taking you to the club after school,” Zach said as I jumped from being startled. I didn’t hear him approach. I may or may not have let out a small squeak. I heard him laugh softly. Abby just watched silently with greedy eyes.
“Oh. Thanks, but my dad wanted me to come home after school. He said he had something important to talk to me about.” I told him shyly. Darn it I thought I was the new Lily, no shyness. Oh well, baby steps I guess. At least I wasn’t blushing yet.
“He had the chance.” What an odd thing to say. “I have to bring you in, it’ll all be explained then. I promise.” He told me as Abby stood there with her mouth open, staring like it was the oddest thing she had ever seen. I looked at her questionably and she shrugged.
“Okay, I guess,” I told him. He nodded once before asking me to wait for him after school. He smiled at Abby and me before moving on.
“What is Zach doing talking to you? And why are you already invited in the club? You just got here!” Abby announced as we started off towards Chem class. She was bouncing with excitement.
“Beats me. Everyone here is just bonkers.” I told her, thinking of the unusual behavior most everyone has shown since I arrived here. I don’t know how my dad would react to a kid telling him; ‘he had the chance’. Whatever that meant.
“What?! Zach doesn’t just talk to anyone. They stick to the ‘in’ group. You must have made an impression on him.” Abby informed me while sitting next to me in Chem class. “Well, you got anywhere to sit for lunch? No? Then you’ll sit with me.” She grinned widely, not even considering I’d turn her down. I wouldn’t have anyway. Where else was I going to sit? The library? Hmm, there was an idea…
“That would be great Abby. Thanks.” I already liked this girl. She had the boldness I wanted. Plus, I wouldn’t have to eat in the library today, save that for an emergency. I turned to face the front of the room, waiting for the teacher to pass out the equipment we were using for today. Oh. Oh no. They’re passing out burners for an experiment. What if I have another attack? I can’t do this in school. Oh, god!
“Lily, are you okay?” Abby asked, touching my arm. “You're burning up.”
“Yyyeah, I’m okay,” I told her. My breath coming out in heavy puffs. And I was already sweating and nothing had even happened yet. I was in trouble.
The teacher had started to explain what we were supposed to be doing, but all I could hear was the pounding in my head. My breaths were becoming heavier. And my heart was beating so fast it felt like it was going to burst right out of my chest. Then, Abby lit our burner.
The next thing I knew the teacher was looking at me with a lot of concern. Oh, god how did I end up under the desk? I couldn’t see straight. All I could see was that fire. Oh god, mom!
“Lillian? Lillian, are you alright?” The teacher, Mr. Brans was trying to get me off the floor. But his face was a blurry vision. My face felt wet… I had started crying without even knowing it. I could hear a small whimpering sound. It took me a minute to realize it was coming from me.
“Maybe you should slap her.” I faintly heard someone ask. Nice. I heard other voices chiming in, but couldn’t decipher the voices.
Oh, god I can’t do this here. “I…I have to go.”
I shot up from the floor, ran out the door, and found the nearest bathroom. I opened a stall and sat on the filthy floor. No one followed me. Oh, god. I really did that in front of the whole class, on my first day. I can never come out of this bathroom now, or ever. I doubt my new-found friend would want to talk to me again after this. Who would want to be seen with the freak that hides from fire under a table? So, I just sat there trying to pull myself together.
Chapter 4
When I finally decided the episode was over enough for me to come out of the bathroom, the class had already ended. As well was the third period. Great, lunch. Maybe I should have stayed in the bathroom after all. No. Remember. I am the new and improved, brave Lily. Who am I trying to kid? I will never be brave, it’s just who I am now. I will always be this scared, shy little girl. I can never be brave as long as I still have the panic attacks.
“Hey! Lily, over here!” I looked up to see Abby jogging over to me from her table. “Missed ya in class, come sit with me during lunch.”
I just looked at her, stunned. She still wanted to sit with me? Be friends?
“Are you sure?” I asked, following her through the lunch line. She looked at me dubiously. I was questioning her choice in friends. “I mean, the whole school will know I’m a freak.” I don’t want to wrap you up in it too.
“No problem, everyone has issues. I’m not gonna say a word or even ask you about it. Just... if you ever wanna talk, I'm here.” She told me this in more of an ‘a-matter-a-fact’ tone rather than a concerned one. I think I may love her a little for it.
“Thanks, it’s just umm... my mom died in a fire recently and....” I wanted to tell her. I did, she was great with the panic attack thing. I just couldn’t say the words yet.
“Okay, no need to say anymore.” She said as she led me to the table she was seated at. I felt relieved she dropped it. I really like this girl. “So, this is the cool table, as you can tell.” She told me laughing. I didn’t care if she was the least popular person in the school, I liked her. She didn’t look at me like I’d break, even after what she saw.
So, I sat down across from her and said, “Yes, I can see that this must be the table to be at. Thanks for letting me sit here. I was afraid I would have had to eat in the bathroom.”
“Eeww, you know how many germs are in there?” Her face twisted into this funny, yucky, skewed up look. “Yuck, anyways it’s no problem. I like you, you seem really nice, and I already know we’re going to be great friends.” She told me, sounding very sincere. Then she laughed. “Plus, you have Zach Conner talking to you, things are bound to get exciting.”
As if her words were jinxed, a hand suddenly slammed down on our table, “I told you to stick next to me, but I guess you would rather hang out with the other losers.” Sue was giving me a hard stare. “I guess I should have known you’re a freak, I heard about your little ‘episode’, you’re never going to survive the club.”
“Back off, Sue.” Growled a voice from behind me. I knew who the voice belonged to, but didn’t look up at him. Sue was right, I am a freak. But I am a freak with a new friend. And that’s better than where I was yesterday. Abby didn’t seem to care that I had issues.
“Oh, Zach. I was just telling our newest soon to be member, that she should come eat with us, be with her own kind.” Sue said innocently. Fluttering her lashes.
“My own kind?” I asked in a small voice. Darn it I really want to be brave. But what the heck are these people talking about? Anything she was a part of was not ‘my kind’.
“I heard what you were informing her about Sue, and I said knock it off,” Zach told her, giving her a rigid glare. She quickly looked down. His voice was so sharp, even I shuddered.
“But Zach didn’t you hear? She’s weak, you know what that means for her in the p... club. She is at the bottom. You can’t really care if I pick on her a little, it’s going to get a lot worse.” Sue told him, gently putting her hand on his arm and looking up through her lashes. Wow. Not obvious at all.
He knocked her arm off and gave her, what sounded like a… growl? I wanted to laugh. Who growled at people like that? But the sound was unnerving. She looked up at him in disbelief, then she quickly looked away, nodded, and walked back over to sit at her own table. I almost did laugh then. She looked so taken back, if she were a dog her tail would of be between her legs.
Zach looked at me then and I lowered my eyes. I’m not sure why, just felt like I needed to. It was an odd feeling. He again pulled my head up by my chin and looked straight into my eyes and asked, “Are you alright? Sue’s a little... well...”
“Bitchy?” Popped Abby, looking back and forth to Zach and me. Grinning like a mad woman, she was enjoying this. I rolled my eyes at her. She has the wrong idea already.
Zach nodded and gave Abby a small smile. “Yeah, I guess that would be the best description.” Zach returned his gaze to me. I lowered my eyes again and heard him sigh softly.
“If you knew she was a witch with a capital B, then why are you dating her?” Asked Abby. I spun my head around and looked at her. It seemed like an innocent enough question, but she was grinning. Dating? How can someone so kind date someone so...evil? She winked at me, I rolled my eyes back at her.
“We’re not dating anymore,” Zach sighed, “and I dated her because she was a high up member in the club.”
“So, there are ranks in this club? I don’t think I want to join, she said I will be at the bottom. It doesn’t sound like a very nice club to me.” I stated, raising my chin a bit. It sounds like an awful place.
“We don’t know where you’ll be until the head guy says. Besides, I won’t let anyone hurt you.” He told me. “And you don’t have a choice, you must come after school today, you’re a... Legacy. Your mom was a member.” My jaw popped open, nearly hitting the floor. My mom was in this club?
“I thought my dad was the member,” I told him while still looking at the lunch table, playing with my food. I wasn’t actually hungry, my stomach felt like it was doing summersaults.
“Oh no, your dad just helps out now and then, but he was never a member. He doesn’t have the qualifications.” Zach told me, while again lifting my head by my chin. “You don’t have to be afraid of me, Lily. I won’t hurt you.” I sighed and leaned into his hand a little, it was just like last night, I felt completely calm. I wasn’t sure why I didn’t feel weird about it… but I didn’t. It just felt natural, which was weird enough all in itself.
Suddenly I heard laughter and looked behind me. Sue was looking towards me, laughing with a group of what I assume are her friends. Then to my horror she pulled out a lighter and flicked it, grinning maliciously. My body immediately started shaking, I could feel the heat coming off me in waves. Sue suddenly let out a little yip and sat down looking at Zach, stunned. I turned and looked at him. He was giving Sue the hardest glare I’ve ever seen, I could swear his eyes were glowing.
“I... I’ve got to go.” I told him and Abby while bolting out of the room. Oh, god twice in one day. I’m getting worse, not better.
This time I didn’t even make it to the bathroom. I sat in front of the lockers trying to learn how to breathe again, while my whole body was shaking so hard it felt as if my bones were breaking. Suddenly, I felt hands on my shoulders and felt the calm again. The shaking stopped, and my breath evened out. I looked up at who I knew it would be. He came for me.
