The Things We Lost, page 23
“Maddie, what’s wrong?” Jack’s voice sounds slow and distant.
But I don’t answer him.
“Maddie.” Jack grabs my shoulder.
“That was Gina.” I choke on the words as if they have a bad taste.
“Gina?” Jack asks, disbelief evident in his tone. “Are you sure?”
I nod. Of course, I’m sure. Her look is etched in my brain. I spent the last weeks feeling insane guilt over our past and what I had done to cause her grief, and now she’s blackmailing me? My chest tightens, and I gasp for breath.
“Maddie.” Jack’s voice softens. He strokes my hair. “Relax. Breathe.”
My eyes close, and I tilt my chin forward, feeling my slow breaths against my chest.
After a minute, I grab Jack’s hand, saying, “I’m okay.” My panic attack has subsided for now.
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” I release a long breath between my teeth. “Let’s get out of here.” I shift the car into drive and leave Gina’s neighbourhood, heading out the way we came. I keep my eyes on the road and my mouth shut. Yet Jack’s concerned gaze stays on me the entire way back to his house. I stop around the corner from his mansion.
“You should get out here.”
“Maddie, please talk to me.”
“I can’t.” What can I say?
“What does Gina have against us?” Jack asks. “I’ve never met her. Weren’t you friends with her?”
“Seriously, Jack?” I gape at him. “She was in your wedding party.” He’d met her at least a handful of times.
The accusation doesn’t faze Jack, who simply shrugs his indifference. Obviously, Arabella’s friends were of no value to him unless they gave him something in return.
I shake my head, reminded why our affair was such a joke, and consider his question.
“I thought Gina and I were friends.” But I don’t know anything about this life. Maybe it’s all another act I convinced myself to believe. Another lie.
“There has to be a reason for all of this.” Maybe his obvious disinterest in Gina was enough to tie him into her sick games.
I shake my head. I can’t do this with him right now. “Please go, Jack.”
“This is about me too. I want to help.”
“You need to go.” I look away from him. “When I’ve figured things out, I’ll call you.”
Jack reaches for the handle but hesitates. “You promise?”
“Yeah.” I mean it, at least I think I do.
“Okay.” He opens the door and climbs out without looking back.
I watch him go, his stride quick, but his shoulders are slumped. The discomfort between us is clear. Does he hope our secrets will be revealed and that we’ll have a future together? Or does he worry about the consequences like I do?
How can I do anything when I don’t even know why Gina’s coming after me? I need to find out more. My mind immediately goes to Dee. She helped solve all my problems in my old life; she seems like the logical choice now.
I dial her number.
“Maddie, darling! So good to hear from you.”
“Glad you’re around.”
“I’ve been dying to talk.” Dee laughs. “You’ve been holding out on me. Naomi tells me your brother is going on an adventure with her. You must give me all the dirt about it.”
“I will.” My mind has other topics that take priority. “Okay if I come by?”
“Do it up, girl. I’m at the condo.”
“Perfect. Be there soon.”
The weight on my shoulders lifts slightly as I follow the familiar roads to Dee’s condo. If there’s one person who can help me see things in a better light, it’s Dee.
She answers her buzzer right away, and I’m at her door in minutes. I don’t bother knocking; this time, I walk right in.
The strong aroma of marijuana greets me. I steady myself on the wall as my head spins and adjusts to the hazy room. This is the Dee I remember.
“Hey, girl!” Dee calls to me from her living room. I round the corner to see her bong between her knees and a lit smile on her face. She’s high as all hell. But at least high Dee can still be insightful, or she was in my previous life.
“Flying high?” I nod to Dimitri, the bong.
“You know it!” She holds the multicoloured device up to me. “Want a hit?”
“I’m good, thanks.” My anxiety is way too high to think about indulging in drugs.
“Suit yourself.” She takes another toke, then places Dimitri aside and blows out the smoke.
I crinkle my nose.
“So, Declan and Naomi.” She wears a cocky smile. “Didn’t I say I was the matchmaking queen?”
“Can we talk about them later?”
Dee’s smile disappears. “What’s wrong? Is it Brian?”
“No, well, yeah. Sort of.” I sigh and sit down on the couch next to her. “It’s actually Gina.”
“Is she okay?”
“Better than okay, it seems.” My fingers thread together in my lap. “She’s been helping Brian, I think.”
Dee’s eyebrows fold together. “What makes you think that?”
“I guess I don’t know for sure. But she’s doing something.” I explain the blackmail and the strange letter at my door, about how Jack and I followed her home and the truth revealed itself.
“Have you tried talking to her?” Dee asks. “Did something happen?”
I pause, wondering if I should confess everything I learned from Brian. I hadn’t spoken the idea out loud because I didn’t want to believe it was true.
She must have read my discomfort because she reaches out and places her hand on mine. “Hey. It’s okay. Whatever it is, we’ll fix it.”
I suck in a sharp breath. “I went to see Brian in jail a few weeks ago. It was a mistake, but I was so confused that I needed answers. I believed he could give them to me.”
Dee doesn’t respond.
“And he told me something.” I draw another breath. “Something I’m afraid might be true.”
“What?”
“When I asked why he hurt Gina, he told me it was because I asked him to. That I asked him to kill her.”
Dee starts to laugh.
“Dee, it’s not funny.”
“I’m sorry, Mads,” she sputters, then draws a breath to compose herself. “I don’t mean to laugh. It’s just not true.”
“How do you know?” I doubt anyone can be totally sure what was discussed between Brian and me during our time together.
“Maddie, you were my closest friend. You told me everything.” Dee shakes her head. “Just because Brian is a psycho who interprets everything wrong doesn’t make you a bad person. Look, I never agreed with it, but you liked Brian, and the asshole was sleeping with both of you. You didn’t ask him to kill her. You asked him to be rid of her. Only a crazy person thinks you’re asking for someone to get murdered.”
Her words trigger a memory.
We sit alone in his car, overlooking the lake. We’ve been here for almost an hour. He’s barely spoken.
“Bri?” I try again. “I don’t think I’m being unreasonable.”
He sneers. “So what, MJ? We’re going steady?” Even his tone mocks my request.
“I don’t want to share.” I cross my arms. “Get rid of her.”
“What am I supposed to do?” His fingers tighten on the steering wheel. He’s never been good at the emotional side of our relationship. He understands sex and drugs. Why do I think I can get him to give me more?
“Just end it,” I say, reaching for the car door. “Or we’re done.” As soon as I’m out of the car, he screeches off. I don’t know if he’ll take me seriously and stop sleeping with Gina, but I hope he will. I grab my phone and call Dee. She’s the only person I want to tell this story to.
“That’s what I meant,” I say under my breath. “Not like this.”
“What?”
I lock eyes with Dee. “Arabella has—or had—a video of what happened. A poor quality one. When Brian tries to attack Gina, I’m yelling at him. Telling him that I didn’t mean it like this.”
“And that’s what she’s blackmailing you with. Keep the secret, or she will show the video and let everyone know what really happened. Or what it looks like happened.” Dee reaches up and rubs her eyes. “Look, Maddie. Arabella never wanted the truth of what happened to come out, so she convinced everyone that you and she had nothing to do with the whole thing. That it was entirely my fault. Obviously, she held that video over your head, so you’d agree. Without that video, you looked like the hero, selflessly rescuing Gina from the clutches of Brian.”
She shakes her head. “I honestly never got how Arabella convinced everyone that it was all me or why. I guess she’s more influential than I ever gave her credit for.” Dee grimaces. “I always thought you’d have my back but not after you found out about Jayson.”
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I wish I could change things.”
“Me too,” Dee agrees. “So, what are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know.” Which is the truth. I need to know more; the curiosity is eating my insides and making my stomach churn. It isn’t like I can walk up to Gina and ask her why she’s helping Brian. Who knows what she’s capable of? I don’t want to find out.
“What about your lawyer? He would have some answers about Gina, or at least Brian.” Dee leans back on the couch and stares up at the ceiling. “She said she got a restraining order, right? I’m sure he could find out if that’s actually true.”
Of course. Sean would know what happened at the hearing I’d forgone, and he’d be able to find out about Gina’s actions after Brian’s release. It would be one way to figure out where she stood in terms of Brian without confronting either of them.
“You’re a genius, Dee.”
“And don’t forget it.” She tilts her head towards me and winks.
“I won’t.” I smile. “At least, not again.”
“Good.” Dee pushes herself back to an upright position. “Now, spill about Declan.”
Forty-Seven
NOW
I experience a moment of relief when I sit beside Sean at the small table in his office. His comforting smile seems to tell me all my worries will vanish, that he will make it right. It’s how Dad used to make me feel.
“Why does this case have you so frantic? It wrapped up quite nicely. The restraining order is holding up, correct?” Sean crosses his left ankle over his right knee, drawing his pant leg up slightly, revealing his colourful striped socks.
“Didn’t Mom get you those?” I ask with a smile, nodding at his socks.
He nods, but his expression doesn’t change. “Madison, don’t deflect. Tell me what’s wrong.”
I release a long breath. “I think someone is watching me.”
“A stalker?” His eyes narrow, and he leans forward. “Have you told the police?”
“I’m not ready to go there yet. I’m not totally sure what’s going on, plus I think I know who it is.”
“Who?”
“I think it’s Gina.”
Sean frowns. “That’s why you asked for information on her and her involvement in Mr. Cordes’s trial?”
“Yeah.” I look down at my hands. “I don’t know if they’re working together, but she’s been angry ever since I went to visit him.”
“Which was a terrible thing to do,” Sean states, as he had when he found out about my unorthodox visit.
“I know.” I don’t need him reminding me of my mistakes. “What’s done is done.”
Sean shakes his head. “That aside, I’m not certain why this visitation would upset Ms. Rojas when she visited him shortly after you did.”
“What?” I meet his gaze, unable to believe what he said. Gina only told me she saw him at the hearing, that it was my fault he was released. My fears that they have reconciled are being confirmed. “Did she speak at his hearing? Did she get a restraining order?”
“No.” Sean stands and moves back to his desk. He flips open the manila file folder that rests on top. “There was never a restraining order placed against Mr. Cordes on Ms. Rojas’s behalf. Further, Ms. Rojas didn’t appear at his hearing. She never spoke against his release. In fact, Mr. Cordes is on record that he and Ms. Rojas have mended their relationship. There are letters between them to back up his claim.”
Letters, what letters?
My head begins to spin. “No, that’s not possible. Why would she risk it?”
“Risk what?”
I meet Sean’s eyes again. “She told me she’d been there and got the order. She said I was the reason he was released. Why would she risk keeping herself open to him?” I know the answer—she lied.
“I can’t answer that for you, Madison.” Sean’s eyes fill with pity. “It seems only Ms. Rojas can provide reasons for her actions.”
“Do you think I should contact her?”
Sean grimaces. “Not if you believe she is stalking you and means to cause you harm. In fact, I would advise against it.”
“She wouldn’t actually hurt me.” I sound more confident about it than I feel.
“Madison, I would call the police,” Sean says. “Get them involved if you are fearful for your safety.”
“Thank you. I know what to do.” I stand and turn to leave, but not before hesitating and glancing back at him. “I appreciate your help. You’ll call me if you hear from Mom?”
Sean nods. “And you’ll call me if you need anything else?”
“Of course.”
He rounds his desk and embraces me as my father once did. He whispers into my hair, “Don’t do anything stupid, Madison.” And for a moment, I see my dad saying those exact words to me when I was a teenager. I close my eyes, enjoying the moment with the man who’d become a father figure in my life.
“I won’t.” We separate, and I leave the office without another word.
Despite Sean’s warning, I have to call Gina and figure out why she lied. I need to meet with her and sort it out. I don’t have evidence to pull the police into this. The letters are destroyed, and all I have is Jack’s word and my own. I don’t know what else to do.
Back in my car, that feeling of being watched returns. I ignore it and reach for my phone, dialing Gina’s number. It rings five times before directing me to voicemail. I consider going by her house, but if she’s screening my calls and hoping to do me harm, as Sean suggests, it probably isn’t a good idea.
Reluctantly, I try Arabella. Together she and Gina have a mutual hatred for me. She’s the last person I want to deal with, but I hope for the best.
Forty-Eight
NOW
Arabella didn’t answer, so I left a voicemail, vague about why I wanted to meet. It starts to rain after I leave Sean’s office, and my drive home is slow. The idea of Gina and Brian working together still burns in my mind.
Covering my head from the cool drops, I dash from my car to the front door, only to find another note stuck to the handle. It’s folded with my name scratched across the front, and the paper is still dry. Whoever came by had done so recently. When I unfold the note, two pieces of paper flutter out. Photographs.
Lying whores belong deep in the ground. Watch your back, bitch!
The pictures are of me—one with Jack and one with Brian. Jack and I are at a restaurant, which I presume is the one in Texas, and the other is the photo I allowed him to give to Gina, so it’s clear who sent this threat to me. Maybe Sean is right; maybe she is planning to hurt me.
I jam my key into the lock and get out of the rain as fast as I can. Gina probably isn’t far away, considering the state of the letter, and the last thing I want is a confrontation in this awful weather.
Inside my house, I consider discarding the letter and photographs but decide against it. I destroyed all the evidence I was being threatened with last time. This letter threatens to bury me, put me in the ground. The photos are proof that someone has a motive. Gina and Arabella look like prime suspects. I have to keep this one intact and away from Declan’s eyes. The last thing I want is my brother to use these threats against me as a reason not to leave.
My phone chimes with a new message. A text from Arabella.
What do you want, Maddie?
I answer to request a face-to-face with her. She doesn’t respond for several minutes, and as I wait, I listen to the patter of the rain on my windows and the faint thunder in the distance. I didn’t expect a storm. Then again, I didn’t expect a lot of things that happened lately.
Fine. Come over.
I grab my purse before heading back out to my car. Be right there.
As I climb in, Declan’s sedan pulls into the driveway. He rolls his window down.
“Where are you going now?” he calls over the sound of the growing rain.
I keep my head shielded with my jacket. “To a friend’s place. I’ll be home soon.”
“Okay. See you in a bit.” He rolls up his window.
At least Declan will be home when I return. There’ll be someone around to make sure no more weird letters show up.
When I arrive, Arabella answers after a quick knock and allows me to enter. I move to take off my shoes and discard my coat, but she stops me.
“You’re not staying,” she says, glancing over her shoulder. “Jack’s upstairs, and we’re expecting company.”
I almost groan but push it back. “I need to talk. If we can’t have a bit of privacy here, then how about a coffee?”
“I’m not going anywhere with you.” She crosses her arms. “But fine, come in. We can talk in the office.” She waves to a room off the front hall.
“Okay.” I leave my shoes and coat at the front door and make my way into the room she mentions. She follows close behind.
“What do you want?” Arabella crosses her arms. “Shouldn’t you be out ruining more lives? You’ve already done your damage here.”
“I have to ask you about Gina.”
“Why don’t you ask her?” Arabella snaps. “You’re the one fraternizing with her enemy.”
