Where Love Lies, page 17
“Come on, let’s go sit in the van while we wait for someone to text me back.” I press my hand on Paige’s back, ushering her to come and rest. Reluctantly, she goes, sitting in the passenger seat, her legs kicked up on the dash. Climbing into the driver’s seat, my back is slick with sweat, so I turn the van on for the air conditioning. A black bird flies over the house, circling it like it’s roadkill, ready to tear it apart until nothing is left. It caws and flaps it wings, and I can’t help but wonder what it’s really going off about. Tapping my phone on my thigh, it finally dings.
I read aloud, so Paige knows what was said.
“Hey, I haven’t been able to get ahold of him for a couple of days.”
Sighing I glance up at Paige, who is biting the inside of her cheek.
“Wait, his sister wrote back. Aunt Liz says I don’t know.” I scoff, wow that was helpful.
“Mom, where is he?” Paige’s voice wobbles, and I shake my head. “Let’s head back and I’ll make some calls.” I try not to sound annoyed, but Cam has done this so many times, it’s hard not to get pissy.
“No, do it now!” Paige pleads, fear clouding her eyes, and I see just how scared she really is.
“Alright, calm down.” I place my hand on her shoulder.
I phone the hospital, but he’s not there, as well as his favorite bar, but nobody has seen him. I don’t know who else to call. Sitting back in my seat feeling defeated, I say, “I have one place left to call, the jail,” I tell Paige, and I’ll be honest, I’m getting nervous myself. Where is he?
Waiting on the station to pick up, I remember having to do this several times when I was married to him, but I always found him within an hour. But something in my gut tells me this time is different.
“This is the sheriff speaking,” she answers.
“Yes, I’d like to report a missing person.”
Coming back home, Heston’s truck is parked in the driveway. Getting out of the van, I notice Paige’s shoulders slumped, so I wrap my arm around her shoulders, pulling her in for a hug. “They’ll find him,” I assure her. Her lips pull into a tight-lipped smile before she slides out of my hold. As she walks into the house, I inhale a deep breath, tilting my head back against the headrest. I swear, if Cam is high in some abandoned house or trapped in a basement for unpaid debt, I’m going to kill him for making his thirteen-year-old daughter think the worst has happened to him.
28
“Yes, this is what I needed,” I mutter softly. My mouth fills with a hot earthy tone, and I savor it. Smoke instantly begins to circle around and drift into the wind. I love the taste of weed. I kept the joint I took from Layla and Paige, needing it tonight more than ever. I look up at the full moon as it hangs brightly in the sky like a lantern. It’s quiet out here, except for the air conditioners’ soft humming and I somehow find peace in the noise, wanting to fall asleep right here. It would be safer than in my own house, since Heston still won’t get out and I was preoccupied with finding Cam and keeping Paige calm today rather than starting up another fight with that asshole. I’m going to have to actually do something rather than say something to get him out. For him to see that we are done, that there is no saving this relationship. He’s a blind man living in a fantasy world. Exhaling, I look down at my phone for any missed messages about Cam. Still nothing.
A tiny voice inside me tells me I’m wasting my time, that Cam isn’t our responsibility. He’s a grown man who makes his own choices. But I wouldn’t be able to look Paige in the eye if I didn’t do everything I could to bring him back to her. I place my phone down and run a hand through my hair. I’m so fucking stressed I could smoke two joints tonight…with wine. I’ve never been one to smoke weed regularly, but I’ve done it a few times in my life. Even with my mom. You know what, I should grow a small plant or two. I lightly laugh at the thought. I could only call them tomato plants so long before Tenly figured it out. God I’d love to see her reaction to finding pot plants all over my property.
A bright light flashes in my eyes, causing me to squint and raise my hand in an attempt to block it. A tall shadow stands in front of the moonlight, making it impossible to identify who it is.
“You been smoking weed, ma’am?”
My shoulders relax, and I blow out a puff of smoke, coughing. “Jesus, you scared me.”
Laughing, Rhodes sits down next to me and turns the flashlight off, the smell of his cologne, mint, orange, and woods, drifting over the weed.
One hand on his knee, he twists to look at me.
“That smells like shit. Don’t put that in your body.” He takes the joint from my hand and tosses it to the ground before stomping on it. My mouth drops open, pissed that he just ruined by high. It might be shitty, but it was all I had.
“Here.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a thick blunt. Gazing at his hand, I can’t help but wonder what his palms would feel like on my skin. My eyes widen at the thought, my cheeks warming, as if Rhodes can read my thoughts. He runs the blunt under his nose, like he’s smelling a cigar.
“Here,” he offers. Taking it from him, I place it in my mouth, and he flicks open a Zippo, lighting the end. I puff, trying to get it started. The red cherry illuminates his face in orange and red shadows as I pull it to life.
“There ya go,” he whispers, closing the lighter.
I take a lengthy drag, and my lungs resist. I exhale some, and my eyes water, my body wracking with the urge to cough. Unable to hold it any longer, I bark out, my lungs burning like hell.
He pats my back.
“Easy, girl.”
“Holy shit,” I croak, handing it back to him. His fingers brush mine for a split second, and our eyes meet. His pine-colored irises darker than ever and watching me.
Silence falls between us, the moon highlighting certain features of his face. I lick my bottom lip, still searching his face, committing it to memory.
“Do you want me?” he asks, and my eyes widen. Thinking back on all the times my body reacted to being near him, I begin to sway into him. Jerking myself back, I mask my desire with laughter. Hoping he can’t see how much I’m into him.
“Excuse me?” I say, biting back a smile.
“I meet pretty woman all the time. I can always see lust burning in their eyes, but you…I can’t read you.”
“Maybe because I’m with someone,” I say, pulling the boyfriend card—I mean, I haven’t successfully kicked Heston out yet.
“Nah, that’s not it,” he replies, his eyes narrow, looking down at his hands. I forget he knows Heston and me are not a happy couple, so my lack of jumping in his bed right away seems to really confuse him. Not wanting to divulge what I’m feeling, especially when I’m high, I decide to have some fun with him.
“Do I keep you up at night?” I whisper. Maybe it’s the weed, or maybe I really want to know, because he keeps me up. I’m always thinking about him and his smart-ass mouth.
He smiles, the grin on his face as sharp as a knife. “Answer my question, and I’ll answer yours.” He raises a brow, playing games with me.
Biting my inner cheek, I think for a second. My thoughts slower than before, my body feeling relaxed, I say, “Yes, you’re hot. I just do my best to restrain myself and act like a lady. How am I doing?” I bat my lashes at him.
He takes another drag, blowing it into the air.
“To answer your question, I don’t think about you.”
Well, damn. Okay then. I begin to laugh, and his smile fades. Clearly, he was hoping I’d be distraught by his answer. He carefully pulled me in so he could get off on being an ass in the end. He better get in line behind the other two men in my life if he wants a reaction.
My head feeling too heavy, I rest it on his shoulder. It’s strong and warm, and his cologne divine. My body caressing his for his warmth and touch. He’s so full of muscles but his skin is so soft. Pulling my hand up, I trace the crucifix tattoo on his lower arm with my index finger. I want a tattoo, but what would I get?
“You good?” His voice echoes, the melody so soothing that I close my eyes and lean into him a little more. The feeling of being safe and not alone is a lullaby I’ve missed recently. I could lie here all night, but being in his arms comforts me more than I’m aware, and I become sleepy.
“I’m definitely high.” I laugh.
“You sure you’re alright?” he asks, his voice rough but smooth at the same time. Like an old country song. His hand brushes the side of my face, the sound of crickets, frogs, and him slowly drifting into nothing.
29
My mouth dry and throat parched, I shift, nearly falling. Opening my eyes, I find myself in my bed. How’d I get here? Last I remember, I was on the porch with Rhodes. Did he bring me in here?
I throw the blankets off me and rub my hands over my face. God last night…There was definite flirting, and my restraint was hidden under a haze, allowing me to admit I find him attractive.
Getting up, I grab my robe and put it on. Last night replays in my head so loudly, I almost don’t hear the racket from the kitchen. My vibe is quickly extinguished because Heston is still here. Today is the day I make Heston leave for good. No more distractions. No more twisting my words. I’m not trying to leave Heston and jump right into Rhodes’ bed, but there is something between us for sure, and I can’t sleep at night knowing I’m feeling the things I am for the guy while still being bound to the monster in my kitchen. I may be a lot of things, but I won’t be a cheater.
Heston stands in the kitchen, his hair washed and slicked back, an unbuttoned shirt hugging his shoulders, revealing his chest.
He glances up from his phone. “About time you woke up.”
“I couldn’t sleep last night,” I mutter. Blowing out a breath, I step around the couch to get a glass of water from the kitchen.
“What’s wrong?”
Where do I begin? A glass in my hand, I freeze. “For starters, Cam is missing.”
His chest lifts as he palms the back of his neck.
“He’s not missing if he doesn’t want to be found,” he says, and I shake my head.
“He’s never been gone like this. Paige is worried—”
“Oh, Paige is worried? Because it seems you’re more concerned than she is.” My mouth parts at his insinuation.
“I do not like Cam. And I’ve made my feelings more than clear when it comes to him. That doesn’t mean I want him hurt or gone. Paige needs her father, Heston.”
His tongue snakes out, dampening his bottom lip. His ominous eyes hooded, he stares right through me.
“That’s why she has me—that’s why you have me. God put you in my path that day for a reason. Why don’t you stop trying to fight it and be fucking happy?” he roars, his voice filling the room. I startle, and he pushes off the counter, grabbing his briefcase.
“Speaking of God, why don’t you and Paige find a church for us to go to this weekend? A little Jesus would do ya’ll some good.” He raises a judgmental brow. Anger plumes in my chest, searing through my limbs. Who does he think he is?
I throw the glass in my hand at him, and he ducks, which sends it smashing into the wall behind him.
“Jesus Christ, Rain!” His eyes snap from the wall to me, the look on his face suggesting I’m insane. Me. Why am I even listening to this anymore?
“I have me! Why is it men feel like they have to swoop in and rescue the damsel in distress. She must be so weak and need me,” I mock. “Get out of my house, Heston. And don’t come back.” Tears well in my eyes, but I’m not sad. I’m pissed off that I can’t kill this asshole.
“Rain, look, you’re obviously upset. Why don’t we—”
“Do not tell me to calm down,” I seethe, my nails nearly digging into the countertop. Glaring through my lashes, I whisper, “Get out, Heston. This isn’t working anymore.”
Huffing, he says, “I’ll see you for dinner,” before slamming the door behind him. Roaring in my ears, my heart rate spikes as I rush to the door and step outside before he has a chance to drive off. “You are not coming back. I said we’re done!” I scream, hatred scathing every word.
He doesn’t say anything, just climbs in his truck and starts it.
I toss my hair from my face and swipe at a falling tear. How did we get here? We were so happy, so stupidly in love. Now, we can’t be in the same room without fighting, and I can’t help but say I resent him more than half the time we’re around each other. Legs shaking, I go back inside and into the kitchen. With one hand on the counter and the other in my hair, I force myself to stop crying. I knew we were moving too fast to actually know one another. It’s all cute surprises and hot sex occupying your time together until the monsters want out of their cage for a turn. The first part of a relationship should be about getting to know each other. When the person you love is not only the heart-throbbing alpha they can be, but the asshole they really are.
Being alone really starts to set in. I don’t have my mother or someone to love and it’s starting to feel like I never will. My chest starts to burn, causing me to breathe harder. I begin to pant and cry even harder. Heston was so sweet and said all the right things, only to become a completely different person. One I no longer want in my life.
Trying not to blubber, I don’t want anything in this house that reminds me of him. Rushing back outside, I fall to my knees, the ground abrasive against my skin, and grasp and claw at the pink flowers, tearing them out of the ground. Elated that I’ll never have to look at them and think about him again. I fall back on my ass and inhale a large breath, happy with the loose dirt, and torn roots all over my porch. Tears still trickle down my cheeks, and with my nails packed with soil, I sit there, staring at the stupid van.
“Rain?” Rhodes stands at the end of my driveway in a loose gray shirt with a Harley logo and ripped-up jeans with grease on them.
As soon as I open my mouth, I sob. Humiliated, I drop my head into my hands. His boots slap against the pavement before his spicy scent surrounds me. He kneels beside me, a heavy hand on my back.
“What happened? Are you okay? Did he hit—?”
“I told him to get out. It’s over.” My voice cracks. I finally look up, and he stares back, his lips lifting on one side.
“Well, hell, that’s the best news I’ve heard since I moved here.” He chuckles, and it takes me aback. He takes my chin in one hand and uses his other to wipe the tears from my face.
“It’s just…my ex-husband and I didn’t work. My mother died, and now Heston is gone. I’m alone. I’m always going to be alone.”
Sitting down, he crosses his legs and rests his back on the cool stucco.
“I’ve been alone for about two years. My girlfriend and I had a baby. My little girl turned one, and my ex decided she needed to get out there, see other people and live.” He shakes his head. “I didn’t take it well. I drank every night. Sat in bars and usually ended up with someone. Got arrested for a DUI, and lost my weekends with my girl. I know the feeling well.”
“Is that why you moved here?”
He scratches at his beard, looking away. “Yeah. A family neighborhood, kids to play with, good school. I’d do anything for Nalini. Give her the best life I can,” he continues.
“That’s a really pretty name,” I nearly-whisper. Silence falls between us, placing that awkward weight on my shoulders, so I say what I’m thinking, “I came looking for something better. The neighbors, the schools, the image of being a mother who carpools and bakes, but…I’m just not that person. I hate it.”
“You don’t want to be that person; those people are not as happy as they come off. Just be you, Rain.”
Inhaling a breath, I lick my bottom lip. It’s salty from my tears spilling onto them and drying from this damn heat.
Leaning my head back against the walkway, I mutter, “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”
“Mom?” Paige’s voice has me snapping straight up and looking down the doorway. Her hair is down, not in her usual braids, and she’s wearing a baggy shirt that I presume is her dad’s because I’ve never seen it before, falling to her thighs.
“Right here, babe.”
Her feet hit the patio, and she stops, her eyes wide, looking at the mess I made of our flowers.
“Whoa.”
“Yeah...about that. I was thinking we should get black flowers. What do you think?” My voice wavers, and I have to catch myself.
“But Heston…he likes—”
“I don’t care what Heston wants. This is my house and we want black.”
She crosses her arms, a little smirk playing at the corner of her mouth. “I like it.” She laughs.
“Plus, it’ll take our minds off things.”
“Let me go get my sandals.” She looks to Rhodes one last time before going inside.
He stands and holds his hand out to help me up. I place mine into his much larger one, the pads of my fingers sliding over his calloused palms. A stark contrast to Heston’s smaller, softer hands. He pulls me up in one tug, and I brush off my bottom and hands, trying to avoid eye contact. Now that I’m calmer, I can only imagine the medusa hysterics from moments ago. Embarrassing.
“Well, I’m going to let you ladies get to picking flowers. If you need anything, Rain, let me know.” The sincerity in his deep voice has my breath hitching. I nod, my eyes snapping to his when the tips of his fingers graze the underside of my chin. His eyes, the color of moss after it rains, captivate me.
“I’m serious. If you need anything, no matter what it is, come get me.” With affection in his voice and his stare holding, he leads me to believe he’s being more than just a nice neighbor. Grasping his wrist, I pull his hand off my face and against my chest, causing my heart to quicken.
“I promise.”
Dropping his hand by his side, he takes a step back, stares at me a second longer, then turns to head back to his place.
