Demon Blind, page 14
I forgot how to breathe for a second, and when I did, it was a shuddering exhale.
“Wow. Love then. You want me to love you.”
“Yes.”
He released me and took my hand again. We walked the rest of the way to the house in silence. Mostly because I couldn’t form a full thought.
Love.
I was with a guy who wanted love.
Wooing.
It would have been laughable if it wasn’t so damn intimidating.
I didn’t know how to woo. Hell, I’d already proven that I couldn’t seduce him. Wooing was even harder.
He opened the door for me, and I walked in on autopilot before whirling to face him.
“I can’t do it,” I said.
He reached out and unzipped my jacket, his expression calm and focused on his task.
“You find me handsome and kind. I think you can.”
I brushed a hand over my face, almost knocking off my glasses. He caught them and straightened them on my nose before easing the sleeves from my arms, avoiding eye contact.
“I’ve been trying to get you to sleep with me since I got here. You’ve seen me laid bare in embarrassing ways I’d rather not remember,” I said with a wince. “My seduction skills are obviously non-existent. Falling for you would be easy for me, but I have no idea how to help you fall in love with me.”
He stopped what he was doing and met my gaze.
“Fall in love with you?” he echoed.
The disbelief in his tone hurt more than I would have guessed possible.
“Ow. Okay. I get it. I’ve got my share of flaws, but I’m the kind of girl who wants to know she’s the only woman in a guy’s life. So this love thing will need to go both ways. If you want me to love you, you need to love me back. And if you don’t think you can, let me know now.”
His big hand captured the back of my head, and he pressed his forehead to mine.
“My heart is already yours, Apryl. It was yours the moment I saw you standing in line for food. I knew then that I wanted to be the male who would win your gaze and heart. And now I have your gaze. I just need your heart. Fall for me, and I will catch you. I promise you are safe with me.”
My heart was beating hard in my chest as my brain caught up to what was going on. Scath was telling me he loved me? It stunned me enough that I set a hand on his chest to steady myself.
I’d heard the fey fell hard and fast but didn’t think it would be like this. Or with me. I thought I’d need to sleep my way into someone’s heart. Actually, with what I was feeling under my palm, I was a little disappointed that it wasn’t still on the table.
“You want my heart,” I repeated before pulling back enough to focus on him. “I think a large piece of it is already yours.”
“Good,” he said, brushing his fingers over my cheek in the way I loved. “Are you tired, or would you like to watch a movie?”
“What would you like to do?” I asked.
“I would like to sit next to you on the couch and feel you right here,” he said, resting his hand over his chest where I tended to rest my head.
“Then that’s what I want to do.”
He grunted and led me to the couch, asking me to sit while he picked out the movie. The second he settled next to me, I snuggled close so I was right where he wanted me.
I couldn’t even focus on the movie as I struggled with the idea of what he wanted. It wasn’t like I could just decide to give him my heart. That happened with time and a thousand little moments together. While everything he’d done so far had already won me over a good deal, I didn’t see how I could give him everything he wanted when he was still holding himself back.
Sure, he touched my cheek and did that thing where he grabbed the back of my head, which I liked. A lot. But it wasn’t enough to really show that we had the chemistry I always looked for in a relationship. I needed more. I needed to know just how much he was attracted to me.
Lifting my head, I looked at his profile. The strong jaw. His perfect lips. That crazy, pointed ear.
“Scath, I want a kiss.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
SCATH
All the blood in my body rushed to my cock, and I shifted in my seat as I glanced at her. She mentioned kissing a lot. I knew kissing Fallor was a mistake she regretted, and she said that when she tried kissing me next, it would be because she was attracted to me. But she hadn’t tried. Instead, she had asked for my touches and kisses. Touches, I could give without losing control. Kisses? I didn’t think I could do that. I wanted her too much.
“Why?” I asked, stalling.
“Why?” she echoed, sounding a bit upset. “How can you say your heart belongs to me when you don’t even want to kiss me?”
“I do want to kiss you.”
“Then prove it.” She pulled away from me, shifting her position to kneel beside me. When she leaned in, her breasts rubbed against my arm. My cock ached to the point of pain, and I winced.
She made a disgusted sound and started to get up off the couch.
“This is ridiculous,” she muttered.
I hooked an arm around her waist to prevent her escape. She squealed and the back of her hand connected with the side of my face as I pulled her back down beside me.
“I can find food and cut wood and make frames for your lenses so you can see. I can kill infected and hunt the hellhounds without hesitation. But seeing your anger sends spears of fear through me. You are the only female who thinks I’m handsome and wants my touches and kisses. I don’t know why, but I do know I would do anything not to lose you. Please don’t leave.”
She looked up at me, anger still in her gaze.
“Then kiss me, Scath.”
The need to bury my fingers in her hair and take her mouth the way I wanted crawled through me. Instead of doing what I desired, I leaned forward and brushed my lips against her soft cheek.
She snorted.
“Seriously? You call that a kiss?”
“James kisses Mary like that. They love each other and have been married many years.”
She blew out a breath and got back to her knees.
“I keep forgetting how new relationships are to you. Yes, that’s a loving kiss, but it’s not the kind of kiss I want from you right now. I want one that shows me how much you want me.”
If I kissed her like that, I would break and take what she offered and hate myself for it. I wanted her heart, not her gratitude. Gratitude never lasted long, and I wanted her forever.
I knew I’d hesitated too long when she made an exasperated sound. Before I could guess her intent, she threw her leg over mine to straddle me. My hands caught her hips before she could settle her weight on my cock.
“It’s just a kiss, Scath, not sex,” she said, threading her fingers through my hair. She brushed my ear, sending a shock of primal need straight to my cock. My grip on her tightened, locking her in place so she couldn’t leave or press her sweet heat where I craved it.
“Well?” she said, leaning in. “Are you going to kiss me or not?”
I closed the distance between us and took her mouth. Her soft lips welcomed me, parting so I could taste her the way I’d been dreaming of. Her tongue danced with mine, teasing, tempting, demanding more. My fingers dug into her soft curves as I fought the need to settle her pussy over my hard length. The desperation to feel her there, to find my way home, consumed me. I shook with it as I devoured her mouth.
Just before the thin thread of my control could snap, I broke the kiss and set her beside me. She was blinking rapidly when I stood and strode away. I didn’t know if I’d kissed her like she’d wanted and didn’t stop to ask; I was two seconds from releasing in my pants.
As soon as I closed the bathroom door, I tore at my pants and clasped myself with a hiss.
I wanted Apryl. I wanted her so badly that I was no longer sure I would be able to hold out for her heart. The taste of her sweet lips still lingered on my tongue and made me wonder what other hidden coves I could be exploring with my tongue. Fisting my length, I found my release while imagining what sounds Apryl would make for me.
When I returned to the living room, Apryl was in the same spot I’d left her. She jerked her hand away from her mouth when she heard my approach and looked up at me.
“You ran again,” she said.
“To the bathroom.”
She stared at me for a long moment, saying nothing, then smiled slightly.
“Okay. I think I’m ready to go to bed.”
I nodded, relieved I’d released when I had, or I wouldn’t have been able to resist her breasts pressed against my side for very long.
Holding out my hand, I helped her stand. She leaned in, wrapping her arms around me and pressing her face to my torso.
“You’re sleeping next to me tonight, right?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Good.” Her hands smoothed down my back, making me wish I wasn’t wearing a shirt. When she pulled back, I almost grabbed her again. But I didn’t have to. She took my hand and led me to the bedroom.
I was so focused on the feel of her hand in mine that I didn’t notice she’d stopped until she removed her glasses.
“Could you hold onto these for a second?” she asked.
“Yes.”
As soon as her hands were free, she pulled off her shirt, exposing her bare breasts. I stared, and my mouth watered as I imagined burying my face between them to taste her skin. The nipples pebbled slightly, and I decided I would taste them too.
She reached down and unbuttoned her pants. Any relief I’d felt from my time in the bathroom evaporated as she slowly shimmied out of her jeans.
I couldn’t decide what was more mesmerizing, the gentle sway of her breasts as she moved or each newly exposed inch of flesh.
She kicked her jeans free and, standing in nothing but her thong, plucked her glasses from my loose hold to place them back on her face.
“Thanks,” she said. “Angel mentioned that the fey were learning to give massages. Would you be willing to rub my back? I think I was bent over funny when I was helping with lunch and strained something.”
She turned away from me and crawled onto the bed on her hands and knees. My cock stirred at the sight of her rounded backside, and when she glanced back at me with a question in her eyes, I realized I still hadn’t answered.
“Yes,” I said roughly. “Where do you hurt?”
“Here,” she said, touching her shoulders before lying flat on her stomach.
I moved to the side of the bed and sat beside her, my hands already smoothing over her skin.
“Mmm. That feels nice. Could you go harder? I like it deep.”
I swallowed back a groan and used more pressure. The pleasure sounds she made were almost my undoing. Ignoring the steady throb in my pants, I continued to knead her sore muscles, drifting down her shoulders to her lower back. Angel told us to always stop there, but I itched to palm the fleshy curves of her ass.
“That’s amazing, Scath. Thank you. Do you mind if I turn over so you can do my front now?”
My mind went blank as she rolled over. I stared at her breasts, remembering the stories I’d heard about how some of the females liked breast massages when they were sore. My palms itched to touch her there, and before I could stop myself, I did. She welcomed me with a soft sigh as I gently molded her flesh.
“Yes. Just like that,” she murmured, her breathing coming faster. “That feels so good.”
The ends of my ears grew hot, and my hands started to shake.
I abruptly stood.
“Don’t go to the bathroom,” she said, reaching for me.
“I’m not. I’m…I’ll be right back.” I hurried from the room. Her muttered curse followed me down the hall.
I was running again. I knew it. But I didn’t know what else to do. If I’d remained there, fondling her beautiful breasts for another moment, I would have given in to my need to sink into her body.
And I couldn’t do that. Apryl was in my blood, and I meant to have all of her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
APRYL
Groaning, I fell back onto the mattress.
When we’d been on the couch and he’d winced after I’d asked for a kiss, I’d thought the worst. That he had zero interest in me as a woman. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The kiss we’d shared out on the couch had told me everything I needed to know.
Scath wanted me. Badly. And he was only holding back because he doubted me. Us.
There absolutely was an us now. That kiss had erased any remaining reservation I had.
Scath was adorable. A keeper. He was kind, considerate, compassionate, and one hell of a kisser. I’d barely remembered my name by the time he’d finished with me. I’d been so sure I could help him past his reservations with a little persuasion of the smexy variety. Obviously, that hadn’t worked. But at least I now understood why he kept running off to the bathroom. That raging boner he’d been sporting had been impossible to miss, thanks to my glasses.
Now, I just needed to figure out what to do about it. Should I follow him? Give him space? Talk to him about it?
Communication seemed to be our biggest problem. Either we weren’t saying enough, or we didn’t believe what the other person was saying. What kind of relationship would that make? Based on the last few days, a confusing and stressful one. And not one I wanted long-term.
Okay, then. Talking it was. However, we needed to level up our efforts in that department.
I looked down at myself, shrugged at my lack of clothing, then went to look for him.
Scath was pacing back and forth in the living room. And whatever thoughts were running through his head had him so distracted that he didn’t even hear my approach. I leaned against the wall and just watched him. He ran his fingers through his hair then shook his head like he was having some kind of argument with himself.
“When you told me how much you didn’t want me to leave, I thought it was kind of funny since you’re the one always leaving.”
At the sound of my voice, he paused his pacing and looked at me. The bulge in the front of his pants jumped, and he turned away, resuming his pacing.
“I had a lot of doubt before that kiss,” I continued. “You were telling me that you wanted me, but you weren’t acting like a guy who wanted a woman. Our actions and our words need to mesh, you know? So, here’s what I propose. Complete, brutal honesty. Tell me what you want from me right now, and I’ll do the same. And if what we want from each other isn’t the same thing, then we’ll talk about it—openly—like the adults we are, with respect for one another’s feelings. Sound like something we can manage?”
He exhaled heavily. “I want you to put a shirt on. One I can’t see through.”
“Okay. What I’m hearing is that you want me to cover up. Can you tell me why?”
He glanced at me then studied the wall. “Angel said women don’t like when we let our desperation show. It makes them want to leave.” His gaze locked with mine. “But seeing you as you are now makes me very desperate, Apryl. I want to close the distance between us, hold you against that wall, and sink into your warmth. And if I did, I don’t think I would be able to stop for days.”
The heat that had begun to pool in my middle during his careful massage burst into something molten inside of me. I wanted the picture he was painting so fiercely that I had to swallow twice before I could speak.
“Yes, please.”
“What?” His confused expression was so freaking adorable.
“Yes. I want what you just said—me against the wall for days. Facing you…facing the wall…bent over with my hands on the wall. All of it. I want it so much I’m having a hard time focusing on this conversation. And, for the record, desperation is only a turnoff if it’s not mutual. And since our desperation for one another is mutual, seeing how much you want me only makes me want you more.”
The long, hungry look he gave me before focusing on the wall spurred me on.
“But, I’ll go put a shirt on. Will you come back to bed once I’m covered?”
“Yes,” he said roughly.
Feeling both smug and a little disappointed, I returned to the bedroom and took one of his shirts from the closet. It hung to mid-thigh on me, which I hoped was enough coverage for him. Just to be safe, I got under the covers.
“Okay. It’s safe,” I called.
He looked so uncomfortable and uncertain when he entered the room that I patted the mattress beside me.
“No touching or kisses,” I said. “I promise to keep my hands to myself for a while.”
He grunted and joined me on the bed.
“I’m sorry for pushing, and I understand why you stopped. You still doubt why I’m here. But I want you to know I don’t doubt you anymore. That kiss was the proof I needed to know you truly want me. So, I’m here for however long it takes until you believe I’m not trying to use sex to pay you back for a nice bed and a belly full of food. When we have sex, I want you to know, without any doubt, that I’m with you because you’ve pushed all my buttons in the best way.”
“Buttons?”
“Yeah. The things that I really like in a guy. A kind heart. Good looking. Sexy voice. And an insatiable hunger for me.” I smiled at him. “Plus, you’re attentive without being controlling and can cook. Those were buttons I didn’t even know I had.”
I made myself comfortable and set my glasses on the nightstand beside me.
“So, tell me about making the glasses and what you’ll be doing tomorrow.”
The conversation was a little stilted at first, but the more he talked, the more he relaxed. And I could tell by the animated way he spoke that he truly was interested in what he was doing. For me. It made it even harder to keep to my side of the bed and not snuggle up to him.
“Does that mean I need to give up my glasses for the day?” I asked, rolling toward him. He was back to being a greyish blur again.
