Company Unknown 5, page 44
“It says . . . it says that you’ve outfoxed me. That you’ve outfoxed everybody. My mom. The previous king. His advisors. The other nobles. Dergenstein. Scrotumio. His mom. The rest of his clan. Percy? Either way, you’ll probably claim it was, but Percy dying in battle wasn’t a mistake either. Did he finally wise up to your act or figure out some other thing he shouldn’t have? Maybe just got too big for his britches, which is saying something since he’s half-verg.”
“An interesting thought, which I can neither confirm nor deny, but it is a very clever thought.” He rubbed his chin as his mouth formed a wolfish grin. “It might even serve as a warning to my other vassals not to cross me. Hypothetically, because it’s not true, is it?”
“Couldn’t be, because you already did try that on us and failed miserably,” I said. “While I’ve never been the model vassal, if you had just told me that it was you behind the alleged Dergenstein invasion or left us alone, I probably wouldn’t have interfered. May not have been the friendliest to you, but I think I made it abundantly clear, I didn’t want to have anything to do with politics.”
“Ahh, but you weren’t there. And finding myself with someone new in charge who had legendary competence and who had also not signed allegiance to me, I had no other choice but to tie up such an unexpected loose end.”
“You had lots of choice,” I said through gritted teeth. “Like not kill the innocent people if you don’t have to.”
“I knew there was something I forgot.” He blinked in surprise as my hand went for my hammer. “Not what I meant, vassal. Temper, temper. Coincidentally, an issue one of my other underlings had, which may have been the cause of this little disagreement as well as the one that ended his . . . employment with me.”
I knew he meant Percyclese and that he was implying that large man had gone completely off script by destroying my town. I also knew there was a lot more to the story, and that no matter how hard I pushed, I’d only get a cloudier, less trustworthy picture.
“What do you want with me now?”
“Only to resume our previous agreement, of course. I stay out of your way, you stay out of mine.”
“Until something else gets in your way that you shove toward mine and make me deal with again.”
He followed my eyes to Scrotumio’s head. “That was necessary. Your love of that rogue orc was commendable on an academic level, but he was getting in your way. Consider it a favor: forcing you to do what you needed but could not. And don’t look at me like that. Your subordinates were already beginning to question your leadership after—what was it, the fifth or sixth time you’d let the orc go once he tried to kill them?”
A lot of nervous shifting and a few reluctant nods came from my squad. Except for Buttons, the members of the Crew were not so nice. A few of them seemed happy. I’d change that later. While I encouraged them to be honest, they didn’t need to be dicks about it. That was my job.
“And how do I know you won’t just use this technicality on our agreement and get us to do your dirty work again?” I asked, finally looking him in the eye.
“I would very much like to never call upon you again. And don’t think I like the situation any more than you do.” He smiled sadly at me. I knew it was false by how genuine it looked. “But let’s not kid ourselves, if I was strong enough to handle anything, I would have never needed you to sign that agreement. But what I said in my more doltish guise was not wrong: The only way you will be able to keep this agreement in its ‘leave you alone’ greatness is if I remain in power.”
“Which means you’re not going to leave me alone, and I’m going to have to help you more than just in a desperate, last chance capacity. That the whole agreement of not seeing each other and certainly not helping each other is worthless. Therefore, you can—”
My hand clinched on my hammer. His soldiers took a step forward, but their way-too-confident master waved them off.
“You are so high-strung, my friend. Relax. Before you tell me and then try to show me where things can be stuck, perhaps this might change the situation, or perhaps not. It is your decision to make. I will not string you along on a seemingly endless set of tasks that, let’s be honest, would be beneath your abilities.” The Prince sighed out of annoyance as I raised my hammer. “And that is because I will not give you any tasks. I will honor the agreement unless, as you put it, it is in a ‘desperate, last-chance capacity.’ I’m sure you have many, many doubts about my word, especially after so many unfortunately necessary bits of subterfuge and outright lies from my end, but I again must ask you to trust your gut: The lone reason for you to see me again is if I get into another predicament from which only you and your wonderful soldiers can save me.”
I took a step forward. Angry, confused, annoyed at being played, annoyed at myself for not seeing I was being played, annoyed at life in general. At least the latter I was used to. Didn’t like it, but liked it a lot more than this. A ton more than the fact that he was right. “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t” was a saying for a reason. At least with him I knew what I was getting—but did I? The Prince I knew was a spineless, vapid incompetent with a capable advisor behind him. This guy was at least somewhat capable in the brains department with powerful yes-men as advisors. At least as far as I knew, and I knew very little. Knew him more than anyone else who might replace him? Sure, but not a lot.
Seeing me pause and my body ease as I thought that through, the Prince let out a sigh. “Good. And I know that means you have not agreed to a renewal of our agreement quite yet. Despite what you let people believe, I know you are a man who likes to think things through before making a decision, so I will leave you to your thoughts. When you decide, you can use that crystal to communicate your decision to me.”
He was a man of his word on that, at least. He spun around and gave the signal for his soldiers to move out. Though they didn’t look anything like the tired and bedraggled group who’d scurried into our town for safety, they still had that illusionist with them—and possibly more than one—so I couldn’t exactly trust what I saw. But they were leaving. For how long and in what dire situation they’d allegedly be the next time I saw them were other questions. As in all my life, there were countless more.
But maybe, just maybe I could answer one. “Worse the devil you don’t trust than the one you don’t know,” I said, more to myself than anyone.
A small void appeared above the Prince and sucked him up. In the few seconds it took to spit him back out again, I was there to meet him—and more importantly, so was my hammer.
“Agreement rejected,” I said as my hammer buried itself in his face. “From now on, Mer Park is a free man.”
The Prince did not respond. Corpses usually didn’t.
61
FREE MER
Not a breath came from a single throat. Probably because no breaths came from the Prince. I’d really outdone myself. It was so surprising even I hadn’t expected it. I’d been taught not to think before acting in order to fool a mind-reading monster early in my career. It had stuck. It was really Mom’s fault for “suggesting” I correct when I applied it to every type of monster afterward. She hadn’t yet learned that the more she protested, the more she would encourage me. Mom wasn’t an issue anymore, so I probably should change those rebellious impulses. But then again, they were what made me Mer. Might as well start reading books and reciting poetry. The old me would have to time-travel and punch the new me. That sounded kind of fun.
Time-traveling shenanigans would have to wait. I had a captive audience to address. Situations like this did not come every day. Time to make an impression.
“So, now what?” I asked quite eloquently.
Too eloquently, because no one answered.
“That wasn’t a rhetorical question. Does he have any allies who are going to come for me in revenge? Enemies who are going to come at me in place of him? Girlfriends who are going to come for me? Are they pretty? How many? Anyone going to look after any pets of his? . . . Are they the same as his girlfriends? What about his stuff? Do I get that too?”
Too much for them to answer at once. Start simple, Mer.
“Someone please talk, at least to tell me that by killing him, I haven’t become the king.”
A voice finally shattered the silence. Would have been nice if it had waited a bit. Raise the dramatic tension. Wasn’t at all reluctant, like I’d expected, though. No fear. Self-assured, even.
Focus, Mer.
“I said, you are not the new king, Mer.”
“Fantastic. Wait a minute!” I spun toward the sound.
The voice wasn’t familiar at first. That confidence was too new, but now that I could see who it belonged to . . .
My eyes went to the corpse and then up again. Yup, same face. The standing one was a little lighter. Faded even.
I gasped.
No, it wasn’t a ghost. I knew that before I threw the rock at it. Though it did go completely through him, it was because he wasn’t here. Not like ghostly “partially in a very dead plane of existence/partially still in the land of the living,” but instead a “fully alive but entirely in another place” kind of way.
“You’re a projection, huh?” I asked to be polite.
“I am, vassal,” the projection said. “You do tend to be rather violent. I thought it would be safer, not to mention much easier, to direct my numerous other plans from the safety of my sanctuary.”
I opened my mouth, but he beat me to it.
“And no, I am certainly not going to tell you where that is.” He eyed my twitching fingers. “Not even if you pinky-swear.”
“About that agreement we were discussing—”
“Null and void. A-ha-ha, Percy, did you . . .” His eyes widened in shock. “My. It seems that bits of that fake persona I assumed are beginning to stick. Talking to the dead too, which coincidentally is what you are going to wish you were after crossing me.”
I motioned to my squads, but they had already surrounded the Prince’s soldiers. Kerna was face down in the dirt with a nasty headwound. If she hadn’t been a troll, I would have gestured for someone to keep an eye on her. Much as I hated illusionists, there were a lot of questions she could answer. Her troll regeneration would keep her safe from brain injuries or from bleeding out.
The projection looked around and snorted. “Them? Do you really think I would send anyone important into such a dangerous situation? Ha! They are mercenaries and those I wished to be rid of. Be my guest in converting them to whatever paltry experience you can offer. It will just buy me time to do . . . well, I’m certainly not going to tell you that.”
I stepped in front of him and gave my best fake-confident pose. “Doesn’t matter because I’m not afraid of you.”
He laughed. “What’s next? You try to distract me with the patented wave of seeming nonsense to trick tips of my whereabouts and plans out of me?”
My face deflated. Also fake, but not obvious this time. I wanted him to think he wasn’t supposed to notice the ruse, while really wanting him to—
His expression brightened for a split second. The next look was also genuine. Not a lick of subterfuge beneath that surprise.
Too bad that I didn’t get the chance to see more. Would have been awesome to watch him realize what would come next, or the bit after, when he realized that as clever as he was at pretending to be the fool, there was someone better. Someone much better. Someone named me.
But there was no time for gloating (yet). There was plenty of time for being distracting—yet another task I’m superior at. The sole person who could match me in that department was Metric, but she had other things to do, along with the rest of the squads.
My performance was magnificent. The Prince couldn’t look away. The squads, though, were used to me and maintained the composure worthy of veteran warriors.
Before the Prince fully grasped his new location, they were on him. He didn’t even manage a scream before he was dead. He didn’t get to hear me gloat that “Swap requires line of sight, and I can see you very well.” It was a good thing too, because the other sentences about it being a “great guess” and a “good thing it worked on a projection” were probably things I shouldn’t have said.
The sounds echoed for a third audience to hear across the large dome of the room I had swapped into. Fortunately, they were even more distracted. Though their king was no longer there, they could still see him through the puffy, spiraling magic that showed his new/my previous location. Sure, magic could lie, but none of them doubted what it revealed.
Another thing they didn’t doubt was what the hammer I waved at them could accomplish. Just to make sure, I activated Flight and Phantasmal Clone, doubling and quadrupling the effect, respectively.
The nearest person recoiled in horror and nearly fainted, magnifying my point and confirming what I suspected. Not a single weapon was present, but even if it had been, there wasn’t a hand capable of providing a challenge. It might have taken a bit longer for them to scurry out of the room, but with the panicked, bumping chaos, I didn’t mind.
Eventually, one of them would calm down long enough to call people who could do a little better. The Prince might have been a fool for the last second of his life, whereas when he was pretending to be, earlier, most of the time he wasn’t. I had no doubt this hideout had guards, and fairly competent ones at that. Even if I could beat all of them one on one, they assuredly wouldn’t attempt to kill me like disposable henchmen from movies. Not much to be gained from it either. My grasp of risk versus reward had undergone drastic adjustments in a few short months. “You can’t spend experience points if you’re dead,” after all.
This part of the plan was a lot less the new me and a lot more the old one, but I made it work. “Sometimes you just have to wing it,” as both Mers would say.
If I’d known where the real Prince had been hiding, I wouldn’t have had to pluck him away so dramatically with Swap. Though I hadn’t exactly expected him to try something as overtly heavy-handed as this, I’d still wanted to know anything I could about him as soon as I’d signed that agreement six months ago. Where he had holed away would remain a mystery until I managed to find the exit of this twisty place.
None of my scouts or spies had found any indication of where he was, but we’d been prepared for his ragtag army to approach eventually. The battles against the noble who I now knew to be Scrotumio hadn’t been going well, from what everyone else could see. Garin, however, had let me know about the Prince’s real army, hidden in the wilderness near Dergenstein. He’d sacrificed so many to Scrotumio to prove otherwise. Such a terrible waste.
The first soldier in the present approached me and looked ready to add to that tally. Her blade was steady and well made; her face showed no fear, nor did those of her half-dozen friends a few steps behind her.
The liveried figure behind her did, at least until he scurried from the room. His voice still quaked a little when he finally said, “That’s the man who killed our king. Return the favor and avenge him. For the glory of—”
One of the knights smacked him in the back of the head. Though her gauntlet had been removed, the skinny man crumpled like he’d been hit by a mace. Might have been a skill involved, but I doubted it.
My eyes went from the drooling body to the woman with the impressive backhand. “Is it the old ‘guy who was paying my bills isn’t around anymore so I’m not going to follow his orders’ or are you people looking to impress a new boss?”
She shook her head once. “Just tired of the killing—of people anyway. We’re already talking about picking up the less depressing life of a monster hunter. Figured now was a good time to resign.”
A few nervous, mirthless laughs followed. I did not join in.
“You’d be surprised at what that life’s like,” I said.
The eyes behind her widened. “You are him! I told you.”
The loud clangs of marching armor came from further down the passageway.
“Should probably get going. But if you guys weren’t joking, head over to Raez’A Fyr. I might have some work for you soon.”
They stepped aside and saluted me as I moved past them.
I’d always clamored for that kind of recognition, but now that I was getting it, it felt kind of hollow. Not completely. It was more like a distant recognition that might feel good when I had some quiet time later. For now, getting out of there was my only concern.
I ran for a good ten minutes before I bumped into another soul. These soldiers were a lot less friendly, but I followed my instinct after noticing their eyes were not looking at me but through me and just stepped aside. They kept going without a second glance.
The next group was of the less armed but more terrified variety. The only trouble they gave me was being more interested in going to the land of away, and not too concerned with how to get there or what to avoid. A couple of bumps, trips, and tangles of limbs later, I was on my way again. Didn’t think it was worth the effort to try to explain that they were going in the wrong direction, but if their goal was to get as far away from the dangerous lunatic who’d slain their leader, the direction I wasn’t headed in was perfect.
Though I had never been in this underground fortress before, stairs usually led up. It was getting slowly warmer and easier to breathe, so I was pretty sure the place wasn’t unusual in that regard. Everything after that was a bit of a haze. Most of the people I encountered were either unaware of what had happened below or, like the initial terrified bunch, knew what had happened and not what the guy responsible looked like. Still, whenever there was an option to duck away from any soldiers or hide, I did those just to be safe.
My only difficulty occurred right about the time I saw the first beams of the sun outside. The brute in front gave me the old “well, well” taps to the handle of his mace. I was a bit blunter (sorry) with my response and just swapped behind him and bashed him into oblivion. His companions circled me for a bit, but I kept them turning until my back was to the exit. My guess proved right, as my vicious introduction had taken enough fight out of them that they didn’t pursue me. I thought I even heard one sigh in relief, though it might have been my imagination.
