The Skye Collection, page 31
The desire to hold him was almost overpowering, but instead Juliette leaned forward and placed a reassuring hand on his arm. ‘I’m so sorry. I wish I could’ve done something.’
He placed his hand on top of hers and his lips curved upwards for a split second, but it wasn’t really a smile. ‘You tried. I heard what you said to Kate earlier. She took delight in telling me how you’d had a go at her. I was impressed with how you stood your ground. You’re pretty bloody amazing. But then, I’ve told you that already, eh?’ He dropped his gaze to the floor and shook his head again.
Anger at Kate knotted Juliette’s stomach. ‘I just wish she realised that this amount of stress and anguish isn’t good for Evin. Or for you. And now that she knows Donny’s stories were blatant lies, she should have the decency to reconsider her actions. Especially in light of the fact that she was the one who left in the first place.’
Reid sighed. ‘She’s too stubborn. Too proud.’ He gave a humourless laugh. ‘You know, I found out she wanted to come home around six months after she’d left us; I heard that little snippet from a mutual friend. Apparently, the biker had lied about his wealth. But she wouldn’t pick up the phone. Scared of losing face. So, she’s stayed with, and tried to get pregnant with, a guy she apparently doesn’t even love. She even married him. Crazy.’
Juliette caught a strange expression in his eyes and had to ask, ‘Would you have taken her back?’
His response was quick and firm. ‘Absolutely not.’ He shrugged. ‘The trust was broken. There was no going back for me. Regardless of how much it all hurt and how much I loved her. I wasn’t prepared to take that risk again. Definitely not for Evin. But look where that got me. He’s gone anyway. All I can think about was the way he sobbed as they left. Reaching out of the car window and calling to me. And Chewie howling. God, the noise he made. He knew something was wrong with Evin and I had to fight with his lead to stop him from chasing the damn car.’ He rubbed at his eyes, his jaw clenched, and she could see he was struggling with the anguish of it all.
Her stomach roiled as the image of Evin, distressed and reaching for his dad, assaulted her mind. And that poor, helpless dog. She shook her head to try and dislodge it. ‘What about Kendric? What will you do now?’
He huffed the air from his lungs through puffed cheeks. ‘Honestly? I have no idea. The strange thing is I feel… numb. It happened a long time ago and he was so, so sorry. He sobbed. I’ve never seen him like that. He explained the reasons behind it all, and I tried to understand, but… It hurt. It hurt like hell. He’s the one person in all this that I should’ve been able to trust. But how can I now? He’s shattered that with his actions. He’s my brother, for God’s sake. And yet… on the other side of it all… he’s my brother. Do you know what I mean?’
Juliette nodded. ‘I do. You still love him even after what he did.’
He nodded. ‘Talk about a double-edged sword.’ He closed his eyes briefly. ‘I want more than anything to forgive him. I just can’t do that right now. I hope that one day I can.’
‘Give it time.’
‘It’s all I can do. I’m just glad that Evin knows nothing about it all. Once the paternity test comes back, we’ll deal with it then, if we need to. Thankfully, my heartless ex has decided to give me that much. As for the rest of the stuff going on…’ He sighed heavily. ‘Well, the café is sold. So, I think I’ll maybe rent out my house and use the money I get from that to rent a flat closer to where Evin will be. Kate warned me off doing so, which to my mind makes it even easier for me to go ahead.’ He gave a wicked smile.
‘And what will become of the museum?’
‘There have been two offers. But both are low. And both are from big-name chains who want to cash in on the pretty location. Make it something more commercially viable for the tourist industry.’ He cringed. ‘You can see it now, can’t you? Pictures of coffee beans in sacks and modern barista equipment adorning the walls, instead of photos of the people who made the village what it is. The Lifeboat Coffee House.’ He sneered.
‘I wish I could help there too. I’m sorry, I just…’ She lowered her chin, guilt twisting her insides.
He reached out and lifted her face with one finger. ‘Hey, I totally understand. Your life is in the Cotswolds. There’s no need for you to apologise and I should never have made you feel guilty about that.’
She wanted to explain. To tell him that it wouldn’t be the same here without him, so the thought of owning the museum, whilst it would still be wonderful, wouldn’t have quite the same sparkle. She wanted to say that he’d got things wrong before, that she did have feelings but that she’d been trying to hide them or ignore them until they went away. After all, this could be no more than a brief holiday romance, and surely people in their thirties just didn’t do that kind of thing… did they? But instead she remained silent, watching him watching her.
For a few moments more, they sat there, eyes locked on each other, his thumb grazing her cheek. She parted her lips and waited… Would he kiss her? Would she let him? But all too soon, he removed his hand and sat up straight.
He swallowed hard. ‘Maybe I should go home, get into some dry clothes.’
And, just like that, again the spell was broken.
35
Juliette felt the chance slipping away from her. ‘Look, Reid, I’m not in a rush to kick you out. I can hang your clothes in the airing cupboard. They won’t dry completely, but in a couple of hours they’ll be dry enough to put on and walk home in. I’ll even lend you a brolly.’ She smiled at the mental image of him walking through the village with her bright red umbrella complete with little black love hearts.
‘Oh, no, I don’t want to put you out. You were right, I should’ve just phoned, really. It’s silly but… All I wanted to do when they’d gone was talk to you. Oh God, that makes it sound like you’re my bloody counsellor or something. That’s not what I meant though. I just meant—’
She held up a halting hand. ‘Honestly, it’s fine. You can stop explaining now. Why not have that glass of wine? At least wait for the rain to stop.’
He seemed to ponder her words for a few moments and then said, ‘Oh, why the hell not?’
After hanging the damp clothes in the airing cupboard, she returned to the lounge and poured them each another large measure of the ruby red liquid. Reid took a gulp and placed his glass on the coffee table before slumping down on the sofa again.
‘I think you’re being very brave,’ Juliette told him, hoping she didn’t sound trite.
He scrunched his face. ‘Hmm. I don’t feel it. I’ve cried so much lately, I have no clue what people must think of me. I feel like I’ve regressed to become a sulky toddler.’
‘The people who matter know that you’ve been through a horrible time and they’ll totally understand. Anyone who says they wouldn’t have cried is lying. I can assure you. And I’d be more worried if you hadn’t cried.’
He shook his head and clenched his jaw. ‘Just seeing Evin like that. I felt so cruel. Like I was making him go.’
‘Evin knows that’s not true.’
‘I really hope so, Jules. And I hope she doesn’t go filling his head with rubbish out of sheer bitterness. I can’t believe I ever loved her. I can’t believe she’s the same person I fell for. You know, it doesn’t matter how beautiful someone is on the outside, if the inside doesn’t match, they may as well be a bloody gargoyle.’
‘Yes, I totally agree with you there.’ She thought back to when she saw Kate standing there in all her glorious perfection: amazing skin, gorgeous figure, a sense of style. Until she got closer and saw the flaws. It was true that beauty only ran skin deep.
‘I close my eyes and all I see is the pain on Evin’s face. How betrayed he must’ve felt. Kate was screaming at me to help her force him into the car. But I wouldn’t. I couldn’t do it.’ His voice wavered and he cleared his throat.
‘And Evin will have known that was because none of this is your doing. That you didn’t want him to leave.’
Reid didn’t respond, instead they sat for a while without speaking and just listened to the radio presenter telling the listeners which tracks had gone up or down the charts. Juliette had lost touch with music until her visit to Glentorrin. But now it was part of her daily routine: radio on, kettle on, breakfast/dinner plated up…
‘How are you feeling about heading back down south?’ Reid asked out of the blue, evidently exhausted from going over his trauma.
A deep sigh left Juliette’s chest as she contemplated her answer. ‘I’m not too sure. Mixed emotions, I suppose. This trip has been so wonderful. I’ve learned a lot about myself and about people in general.’
‘Really? What life lessons has Glentorrin delivered?’ Reid rested his elbow on the back of the sofa and his head on his hand, all his attention focused on her.
‘I think I’ve realised that I’m quite a strong person, after all. I had my doubts before I came. I’d been recovering from depression and dealing with grief and wasn’t sure if I’d cope with going it alone in a new place, even though I desperately wanted to. But now I’ve done it. And I’ve loved it. And I’ve discovered that I love history even more than I thought.’ She laughed. ‘But I’ve learned that people need to be listened to. You can’t judge someone until you’ve really delved into their minds. Walked a mile in their shoes, as the saying goes. You have no clue what someone is going through until you find out for sure.’
He narrowed his eyes. ‘Do you mean me, by any chance?’
She felt her cheeks warming. ‘You’re in there for sure. I mean, at first I thought you were just a grumpy sod with no sense of humour.’
He laughed out loud. ‘And now you don’t think that?’
‘Absolutely not.’ She gazed around the cosy room with its oak beam mantel, tapestry curtains and claret walls. ‘I’m genuinely going to miss this place. The cottage, the museum, the music, the friends I’ve made. The dancing. I never imagined I’d enjoy a ceilidh so much. But it’s one of the fondest memories I have. Amongst others.’ She knew what she meant by that but wouldn’t elaborate, so she hoped he didn’t ask.
‘So, what do you make of the local radio station?’ he asked, pointing at the little portable unit where it played to itself on the mantel shelf.
‘I’ve loved it, to be honest. It’s been nice to listen to something completely different to the traffic news about Gloucester. And I love the accents of the presenters.’
He tilted his head. ‘The accents, eh? What do you think of mine?’
Her stomach flipped. It’s like melted chocolate and sends my insides to jelly. ‘It’s not bad,’ she lied.
He raised his eyebrows and laughed. ‘Not bad? Gee thanks. I bet you wouldn’t say that if I looked like Gerard Butler or James McAvoy,’ he teased.
She was trying to decide how to respond without giving herself away when the acoustic guitar of Lewis Capaldi’s ‘Hold Me While You Wait’ began to play.
Reid closed his eyes and leaned his head back briefly. ‘Oh God, this song. It gets me here,’ he said, placing his hand over his heart. ‘Every single bloody time. I get goosebumps. It’s like he’s had an insight into my soul. Like he read my thoughts and wrote them down.’ He shook his head.
Juliette wanted to say so much but wasn’t sure how to put things into words. ‘Mine too. He expresses how hard it can be to overcome the fear of not being enough, don’t you think? And that when you do give your heart away, especially if it’s been broken before, you open yourself up to getting hurt again. It’s terrifying.’ She sighed deeply and closed her eyes, hoping Reid was reading between the lines and understood what she was trying to express. ‘Finding out that your feelings aren’t returned must be such a heart-breaking thing to experience. Maybe it’s better not to know? Not to take the chance.’
He swallowed and nodded. ‘Aye, maybe. But maybe sometimes it’s a chance worth taking?’
They sat quietly again for a few moments as the song played, and Mr Capaldi sang about the agony of unrequited love and the pain of feeling insignificant and alone.
Eventually, Reid stood and peered down at her. ‘It’s a bit different to a ceilidh but… would you like to dance?’
Juliette glanced at his attire, then back up to his face and smiled. ‘You’re wearing a towel.’
He shrugged and held out his hand. ‘I’m game, if you are.’
She put her hand in his and let him pull her to her feet. She felt a little silly at the prospect of slow-dancing in a living room with a man dressed only in a bath sheet and a giggle escaped.
Reid took another step and slipped his arm around her waist. Suddenly, their amusing situation wasn’t quite so funny any more. The lyrics took on a whole new meaning as they moved together, slowly and in sync in the confined space. She rested her head on his bare chest, his heartbeat thumped a steady, hypnotic rhythm against her cheek, and he placed a tender kiss on the top of her head.
She lifted her face to make eye contact with him and there was a pleading look in his eyes. He wanted to speak but was holding back as the music floated around them, enveloping them in warmth and melancholy.
A line appeared between his brows and he chewed his lower lip; sure signs of conflict. ‘I… I know I said things about the timing, and I know you’re leaving soon, but…’ He swallowed nervously. ‘I’d like to know how it feels to kiss you properly, at least once before you go. And to have you kiss me back. And I’d like to just forget about all the stuff that’s happened today; to feel something good rather than utter uselessness and despair.’
Without breaking eye contact, Juliette slipped her hand around the back of his head and into the strands of hair at the nape of his neck.
Taking this as an invitation, Reid lowered his face until his lips gently touched hers as they swayed. She felt his heart rate increase as hers did the same and she closed her eyes. He deepened the kiss. His hand found her hair, and the arm around her waist tightened, pulling her closer still. She smoothed her hand around his shoulder and held him.
His lips were soft yet demanding; new, yet somehow strangely familiar. Shivers travelled the length of her spine as her desire for him grew. It had been so long since she had been held like this. She’d thought she’d make it through life never craving such a feeling again, but now she realised she was wrong.
Reid moved his mouth from her lips to her neck and back again; the towel was doing little to mask his own desire. ‘God, I want you so much,’ he whispered.
She responded breathlessly, ‘I want you too.’
The expression on his face, when he pulled away, told her that she’d surprised him with her admission. Before he could say anything, she took his hand and led him to the stairs, where he kissed her again, passionately, deeply. They walked silently up to the bedroom, leaving the music behind. Juliette was completely lost now to the need deep inside her, and the way Reid followed willingly as she pushed open her bedroom door made her forget everything but the two of them.
Once inside, she stretched up and removed her top, slipped down her skirt and stood before him in just her underwear. She should have been nervous, embarrassed even, but the way he looked at her, the longing in his eyes, gave her a confidence she thought she’d lost; she left behind her inhibitions and let him devour her with his gaze. It was empowering to let herself just be; to give herself over to her desires.
He touched her cheek. ‘You’re so beautiful,’ he whispered. ‘But are you sure you want to do this?’
Her chest heaved, but it was lust rather than anxiety. ‘I’m sure. I want to feel all the things I’ve been missing. I want to feel wanted again.’
He stepped towards her and traced his fingertips along her collarbone and down the curve of each breast, causing her breath to hitch and her pulse to quicken.
‘You’re definitely wanted, Jules,’ he told her, before pulling her into his arms and connecting their lips once more. This time his tongue entered her mouth and she moaned at the feeling of his hands touching her. She allowed her hands to roam his body too and revelled in the way she felt shivers as she stroked her fingertips down the planes of his chest. She let go, giving in to desire, and with one swift move, Reid’s towel was discarded and they tumbled onto the bed in each other’s arms.
36
When Juliette awoke, she found herself alone. She held her breath and listened in the hope that Reid was possibly in the kitchen making coffee. But the place was silent. She scanned the pillow and bedside table for a note, but there was nothing. Had he just left without a goodbye? Surely not.
She stretched and climbed, in her state of nudity, from the bed. Thoughts of the previous night interrupted her, and she paused for a moment, allowing herself to remember the feeling of Reid’s weight on top of her and the way he kissed a path between her breasts down to her navel. She tried not to melt as she remembered the intimate connection of their naked bodies and the way he sent shocks of pleasure racing through every fibre of her being. She hated that she wished he’d stayed so they could experience it all over again. And she hated that she was upset with him for simply leaving.
