Imperative: Volume 1, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice, page 56
“I am not married.” She clutched him tight around his neck
“No, dear. I am sorry that I could not find out sooner, we hoped to locate him and get absolute confirmation.”
“You have not spoken to him?”
“I do not even know where he is, but he has no claim on you.” Darcy let go and wiped her eyes, looking seriously at her. “But he can try to claim the child. Not that I ever could suspect him of wanting to be a father or taking any such thing seriously, it is important that nobody learn of this pregnancy, not a servant, not a friend, not the Matlocks, not Aunt Catherine. We must keep this to ourselves, to protect the child you carry from his father, to protect you and the family from blackmail and shame, and to give you a chance at living the life our parents hoped you would have.”
Georgiana stared down at his hands holding hers. “I am not married.”
“You remain Georgiana Darcy. I prayed for this to be the truth, which is why I refused to let any announcement be made.”
Elizabeth moved beside him and he looked up when she touched his shoulder. “Perhaps Susan and I should leave the two of you alone.” She looked at Georgiana sobbing into her handkerchief and back to him. “There are probably things to be said that are very private.”
Darcy looked at his sister, then stood and taking Elizabeth’s hand, walked with her to the door of the great room while Susan hugged Georgiana. They watched them while he spoke quietly. “Was our approach wrong? Why can I not learn how to speak?”
“I thought it was harsh, but the situation is harsh. There is no way to just pat her on the head and say everything is going to be fine. You needed to express the disappointment and hurt to her personally just once or it would eat you alive. I think that if you did not, she would have walked on eggshells her whole life waiting for it to come out one day. And she had to learn the truth. You were correct not to put it in a letter.”
“Was I?” He looked down to the floor.
“Yes, now you can comfort her in person. A letter would have left her with an explanation, but nothing else. No questions could be answered; there would just be silence and regret, and when you met again, the embarrassment would have kept you both from being honest, dancing around it forever.” She watched Georgiana. “Her reaction is encouraging; she is not laughing it off. I hope that it is sincere.”
Darcy looked at her seriously. “You do not think that she is taking advantage of my,” he stopped, thinking of his promise of the pianoforte, “past behaviour towards her.”
“I do not know her any better than she knows me, I will trust your instincts.” He entwined their fingers, and rubbed his thumb over her ring. “I am so proud of you.”
“I hated this.”
“I know; so did I, but do you feel better?” She watched him considering the question and nodded as he straightened and lifted his chin. A different light was coming to his eyes. “You do, the helplessness is gone.”
“In some respects it is … But, I am not satisfied with her answers and I am not convinced that she appreciates what she has done. I know that I am not through expressing my disappointment. This situation is … too great, too … the impact on so many lives cannot be swept away in one conversation, not when the true consequence of it is not yet born.” Elizabeth nodded. “Does that make sense? I … I have been dreading and anticipating this day for so long.” He looked down to their hands and her fingers caressing his ring. “I dreaded never having the opportunity to have the conversation at all.” Drawing a deep breath, he felt the grip of her hands and looked up to her. “What are you thinking? Tell me.”
“I love you.” His lips lifted a little and she tried to match his smile. “I am scared, too.”
“Elizabeth …” He whispered, and lifting her hands to his lips, turned to look at his sister who had stopped sobbing. “She knows her place now, I think. She knows that this remains her home and that she is not about to be sent away to Wickham. It is a start.” He looked back to Elizabeth. “You are not leaving, love. You are my wife. If there is any woman who belongs in this home it is you.” Their gazes locked, Darcy read all of the emotion within her eyes and he drew himself up. “We are a family, and we will face this as one.”
Chapter 23
“And … this lease for the cottage in Ramsgate?” Barnes withdrew a paper from his ledger.
“Ramsgate?” Darcy started and looked up from the rent figures he was studying.
“Yes sir, the owner is giving you the opportunity of first refusal for the next Season? Mrs. Darcy might enjoy visiting?”
Darcy took the paper and stared at the lease, and dropped it quickly. “No … No, I did not find Ramsgate as pleasant as I thought it would be.”
“I always wondered if it lived up to the talk.” Barnes smiled, not noticing Darcy’s inattention. Taking the paper, he wrote himself a note over the top and put it on the bottom of his pile. “Now let me just check these figures for you …”
May 1811
“Ramsgate! Are you out of your senses, Darcy?”
“Of course not, Uncle! It is most fashionable! I certainly heard enough about it from Bingley’s sisters when they were visiting Pemberley this spring and if anyone has their ears open to what is desired …”
“And what they cannot afford to have …” Richard smirked.
“You listened to those daughters of tradesmen?” Judge Darcy fumed. “What of Bath? Why not there if you are determined to banish her from home?”
“Uncle, no! It is not banishment …”
“You are not travelling with her. She is being sent away!”
“It would be a punishment to visit Bath!” Richard laughed, “Bath is no longer the exclusive resort it once was. It is for fat gouty old men in their sedan chairs and tired grandmothers and their gossip! Young girls do not visit Bath, they go to the seaside! Ramsgate, Margate, those are the places to see and be seen! Ask my mother, she will tell you.”
“Ramsgate is far more respectable.” Darcy added.
Nodding, Richard pointed at him, “Precisely. Besides, her school friends will likely appear there with their companions. You have spoken to their families, have you not, Darcy?” Seeing his nod, he looked to the judge, “There! It is time, I think, to get this girl out of her shelter and preparing for the future.”
“She is fifteen! You are pushing her along far too fast.”
“Uncle …” Sighing, Darcy sank down into a chair as he watched his uncle pace angrily. “A summer by the sea is not putting her out. She will have her companion …”
Judge Darcy spun and spoke accusingly, “And she will be out of your way!”
Darcy looked to Richard who nodded, urging him to speak. “Uncle, I am seven and twenty, I am finally confident in my place at Pemberley.” He added resignedly, “It is time that I look for a wife.”
“And you are not getting any younger!” Richard snorted.
“You are one to talk.” Darcy snapped. “I must secure the estate with an heir.”
“Ha! I have no estate to secure, I have no home either! But I would think this is a delightful assignment, Cousin. I fail to understand why you seem to regard it as a trip to the gallows. All of these heiresses are itching to have at you; at last you are signalling your readiness.” He rubbed his hands together. “Leave Bingley at home, I will accompany you and show you how it is done!”
“Richard …”
“Secure the estate.” Judge Darcy fumed, still focussed on his niece. “And I suppose that Georgiana will be married off her first Season.”
The two cousins exchanged glances. “If a suitable man is found …” Darcy watched him rubbing his forehead. “Sir, that is years from now.”
“Sooner is better than later, do not let her sit and moult like Cathy has been doing.” Richard took a drink and gestured to Judge Darcy. “Sir, I assure you, Darcy and I are not attempting to marry her off, but the girl does need to prepare for the inevitable. After all what is behind all of this schooling she received? To make her appealing to some man, and make him think she will be just fine to entertain him, run his house, and produce his heirs. She will need to marry, and Darcy does need to get on with his life and produce his own brood. If Uncle George had lived …”
“Richard.” Darcy stopped him and turned to his uncle whose face had become unreadable. “Uncle, I admit that I would prefer to deal with this whole wife-finding process without Georgiana here to witness my … undoubtedly varying moods as I fight my way through it. But sending her to Ramsgate is a favour to her; I am sparing her looking at me.”
“And she will have Mrs. Younge with her. We are not sending her off on a horse with a purse full of money and no direction. Let the woman earn her keep!” Richard added, watching the judge curiously.
“I have rented a lovely cottage.” Darcy added. “I would have asked you and Aunt to look after her but I thought that you might like to enjoy some of the Season together … Samuel is graduated and out of the house, perhaps a … second honeymoon …”
“Ah, there you are!” Richard beamed.
“Of course.” Judge Darcy said tonelessly. “Of course. We are completely alone now. Our babies are all gone.”
“Uncle, are you well?” Darcy stood and touched his shoulder. “You know that I only want the best for Georgiana, I promise you that I want her to be very happy with her life. She is shy, but she knows her place and what is expected of her. I will not marry her off just to be free of my responsibilities, I take them very seriously. I love her and want her with a good man, one I can trust when I place her hand in his one morning in church, hopefully in the chapel at Kympton.” He smiled a little. “Mother and Father are there.”
“Yes.” Judge Darcy stared into the distance. “That is where my little girl shall marry.”
Darcy understood at last, “I know that you see her as a daughter, Uncle. You have felt a bond with her from birth that as her brother and guardian I could never imagine. I am grateful that I could turn to you and Aunt to help me when Father died so suddenly.”
“Yes.” Judge Darcy shook his head and focussed on his nephew’s concerned expression. “Forgive me; I become emotional when it comes to Georgiana.” He shook Darcy’s hand and nodding to Richard, walked to the door. He grasped the handle and looked back to his nephew. “Should I find a young man that I deem appropriate, would you accept him?”
“It would not be for years but … I would need to meet him, and know him well. We both want her to be happy and safe; but of course, I trust your judgement as I would my father’s.”
December 1811
“I always wondered why you were so angry that day … Did you sense what was to come?”
“Sir?”
Darcy blinked and sat up in his chair. “Forgive me, Barnes, my thoughts wandered as you were toting up the rents.” He cleared his throat. “How do we stand?”
“Very well, sir, everything is collected and I expect to pay the taxes and bills for you in good time for New Year’s.”
“Excellent.” He noticed that the lease had disappeared and concentrated on the rent book placed before him. “And with the improvements you have outlined we should have a productive season.”
“If the weather cooperates.” Barnes smiled.
“Ah yes.” Darcy shook his head and handed the ledger back. “Well that is why we continue to diversify. The price we got for the pasture in the north …”
“As you planned, it fully funded Mrs. Darcy’s settlement, with some to spare.”
“Add it in.” He met his steward’s eye. “She will be protected no matter what comes in the future, as will our children.”
“Yes, sir.” Gathering up his papers, he stood. “I should return to the estate.”
“I will be out soon. The gristmill and the groves?”
“And dredging the channel …”
“Ah yes. Thank you, Barnes. I am pleased with your work. You have been an enormous help to me and I am glad that I have put my trust in you.” He smiled and saw the pleasure in his steward’s eyes and heard the surprise in his voice as he thanked him and bowed. Darcy’s brow furrowed as he watched him go. “Surely I have thanked him before?”
He thought of a pair of sparkling eyes and heard Elizabeth’s laughter. “Dearest Elizabeth. What have you done to this aloof beast you married?” He picked up a pen and as he played with it, his thoughts returned to the scene in his study at Darcy House seven months earlier and his smile faded. “If I had not hired Mrs. Younge, if I had not taken Georgiana to Ramsgate, if I had stayed with her, if I had not felt pressured to find a wife …” He looked down at his ring and read the initials there. “My sister would not be ruined and I would not have my Elizabeth.”
Your sister chose to disregard everything she has ever been taught. He heard Elizabeth’s voice in his mind. This is not your fault. Stop this! If nothing had happened, you still would have come to Netherfield and found me!. He pinched back the blur in his eyes in an effort to contain his emotion. Standing, he walked around the room with his hands clasped behind his back and arriving at the window, imagined Elizabeth’s reflection in the glass. “I still would have met you.” His fingers closed over the ring. “I would have fallen in love with you; I would have married you, dearest. I must believe that.”
Darcy drew a long breath and blew it out. “But it did happen and we must address it now. How would I bear this without you?” He whispered and contemplated the chair where Georgiana had sat and sobbed as she learned the truth of her situation. She had been nearly mute since then and upon Elizabeth’s advice, they had not pressed her. Hearing the pianoforte, he looked towards the door. “That sounds terrible, who is playing?”
“OH.” Georgiana said softly when she entered the music room, and finding Elizabeth seated at the pianoforte looked backwards, seeking escape.
Elizabeth spoke before she could move. “Fitzwilliam is talking to Mr. Barnes so I was just looking over the selection of music you had. I hoped that I might find something to entertain our guests during their stay.” She sighed and looked at the stack. “I am afraid that I am doomed.”
“Doomed?” Georgiana stepped inside of the room. “Why?”
“Oh, they are far too difficult for me.” She opened up a piece and slowly started to pick out the right hand; and then carefully added the left. “I knew I should have brought some familiar music from home. Your brother labours under the ridiculous impression that I can play.” Laughing softly, she struck a bad note and shook her head. “Silly man.”
“He wrote to me that you play quite well. He would not say that if it were not so.” Georgiana came a little closer and watched her hands move deliberately over the keys.
“Shakespeare says repeatedly that love is blind. He forgot to mention that it is deaf as well.” Elizabeth looked up at her. “Would you show me how it should be done?”
Hesitating, she at last responded to Elizabeth’s smile. “If you like.” Taking a seat, she looked down at the keyboard, but kept her hands in her lap.
Deciding that a push was in order, Elizabeth gave her one. “Tell me, was your brother’s opinion always something that you viewed as infallible or is this something that you have taken up recently?”
“I do not understand.”
“It was only a few days ago that you inferred he had been gravely in error when he chose me as his wife. And from what I understand, it has been a warmly addressed topic over the past weeks since you learned of our engagement and marriage.” Elizabeth turned back to the keyboard. “I wonder if your objection to me has been a way of deflecting attention from yourself.” From the corner of her eye, she spotted Georgiana’s mouth opening. She worked through the tune, then turning the pages back to the beginning, started over. On the third time through, Georgiana finally spoke.
“I … I apologize for my behaviour towards you.”
“Thank you.” Elizabeth stopped and turned to her. “I think that some of it is understandable. I am a stranger coming into this safe world you have here. And I am taking your brother’s attention just when you are learning that your life is completely changed from what you thought it was, and perhaps at last you are grasping the weight of what you have done. Just remember though that your life is not the only one affected and that as much as you need Fitzwilliam, he needs me, and I truly do love him, not what he owns. He has my care and my respect; I will not allow anyone to hurt him.” Elizabeth returned to the keyboard to play as she felt the girl stiffen, “I hope that one day you will decide I am not so terrible.”
Georgiana heard the smile in her voice but kept her eyes on the keys. “Fitzwilliam would not have married you if you were.”
Elizabeth sighed to herself; the girl had no opinions of her own. “That is true. Otherwise he would have married Miss Bingley, would he not? That would certainly have proven his fallibility! That woman is a master manipulator if ever there was one.” Elizabeth caught her eye for a moment before continuing with the song.
“Do you think that she … worked on me?”
Laughing, Elizabeth looked at her. “Of course! She used your name constantly to your brother and spoke of beautiful, accomplished, wonderful Georgiana … Oh dear, it was laughable how she tried to imply this great friendship with you to try and gain his favour! He saw through it, of course.”
“I did not feel we were great friends, tolerably friendly, I suppose …” Elizabeth’s eyes looked heavenwards as she heard Darcy’s voice in her head. “I will have to think about my conversations with her.”
“Good, that would be excellent practice for you. Undoubtedly you will encounter others who will be similarly minded.”
