Vampire Shifter Academy, page 12
But, what was there to say? Eva wondered. Probably, silence was the best reply in these situations. If he defended himself, would they even believe him? Or would they consider him completely guilty of these crimes they were accusing him of anyway?
Eva walked into the school library, with these thoughts in mind. She was curious whether any of this was true, but she would never ask him, straight to his face. She felt like she didn’t know him well enough to do any such thing.
She skimmed through the titles of books she both recognized and didn’t recognize, not really sure what it was she was looking for. She came here to escape from everyone, hoping for some peace and quiet, and maybe to find a good friend in a book.
“Hey!”
Someone jumped in front of her, almost giving her a heart attack. She got pulled back by an invisible force, and almost stumbled into a row of books, which luckily, stood in their place firmly. She pressed her hand against her heart and took a deep breath.
“You scared the crap out of me!” she hissed, and someone from behind immediately shushed her. “Sorry,” she quickly apologized, blushing.
Without a word, she pulled Sebastian by the hand, leading him to the furthest part of the library, where she knew no one ever went. They disappeared among the rows and rows of shelves with books no one was ever in need of, but they still stood there, taking up their rightful space.
“You shouldn’t jump in front of people like that, you know,” she told him, now that they were able to talk, though still whispering close to each other.
She could feel her heart racing, increased by his closeness to her. He obviously wasn’t aware of the effect he had on her and he got even closer. He smelled like he’d been in the woods in the early morning and his lips were sprinkled with dew. She wanted to kiss it off of him, to taste it, but she had no idea how he would react to this. Would he kiss her back or would he push her away? She was too scared to find out.
“And you shouldn’t promise coffees you never deliver,” he grinned back.
His eyes were the color of murky waters and she immediately remembered the gossip about his mother being half water nymph. For a second, she wondered if that was true, as he gazed at her, waiting for her to reply.
“I’ve been trying to find you all this time,” she told him the truth. “It’s like you don’t even go to this school!”
He laughed at this, suppressing his laughter with his hands.
“What makes you say that?” he asked.
“I never see you at school.”
“I also don’t see you. Does that mean you also don’t attend it?”
Touché. He was right. He could ask her the same thing, but she knew she was at school every single day. Could he vouch for the same thing?
“In any case, since I didn’t see you, I couldn’t make good on that promise. But, I meant to.”
“Well, in your defense, I really was out this week,” he told her.
“Out where?”
“Out of the school.”
“That’s allowed?” she eyed him weirdly. “I was under the impression no one leaves or accepts any visits until the school year is done.”
“True,” he just nodded, offering no other explanation, but her curiosity was eating her alive.
“So, if it’s not allowed, how come you got to do it?”
“You really wanna know everything, don’t you?” he sneered.
“I wanna know how you did this, yes,” she was relentless.
She could allow herself to be, knowing that no one else was there, and she could ask him things which she probably couldn’t ask him anywhere else. The library walls didn’t have ears… or, at least she hoped they didn’t.
“I had some business to take care of,” he simply replied.
“That’s no explanation.”
“That’s the only one I can give you right now.”
“You know that sounds very suspicious, right?” she eyed him, moving a little away from him, as if she was starting to distrust him.
“Do you think I did something wrong?” he whispered, so close to her lips, that she could almost taste his sweet breath.
How easy it would be, just to lean in and press her lips against his. It would take only a second.
“I heard stories,” she managed to reply, swallowing heavily, feeling her throat getting drier and drier.
“Stories?” he laughed a little too loud and he stopped as soon as he realized it. “I’ve heard them, too. Load of horseshit, if you ask me.”
“I don’t know, some sound like they could be true,” she pushed on.
She was walking a fine line, a dangerous line, if Sebastian was really as dangerous as Bella claimed him to be. But, Eva didn’t care. She needed to find out on her own, even if that meant getting in trouble. She would find a way of getting out of it, if necessary.
“Which one is your favorite?” he teased her. “Tell me, and I promise to tell you if it’s true.”
“You could lie,” she quickly replied. “What guarantee do I have that you’re telling the truth?”
He leaned in so close to her that their lips were almost touching. Her fingers were shaking and she wanted to rest them on something, to stop this trembling, but there was nothing to hold on to. Nothing but Sebastian.
“Absolutely…” he started, his eyes locking with hers, “none.”
She felt a burst of laughter coming on. If this was supposed to intimidate her, then he really missed the target. She snorted a little, suppressing that bout of laughter, then continued equally calmly.
“Well, it’s on your conscience if you lie, not on mine,” she replied with the only thing that popped to mind.
“How very self-righteous,” he grinned. “Ask away. Then try to figure out if I’m telling the truth or not. I’m actually having a lot of fun here.”
She waited. Of course, she knew exactly what she wanted to ask him, but she wanted him to think that she didn’t really care about any of this and she was just picking out a question at random.
“Okay, let’s see,” she started, “I guess the first one that pops to mind is the one everyone’s been wondering about.”
“Are you wondering about it too, or are you asking just because everyone else wants to know?”
He really sounded like he was having fun. He was teasing her, playing with her. She was annoyed, but a part of her liked it and wanted more.
“Stop being a smart ass and just answer the damn question.”
“You mean the one you still haven’t asked?”
He had the look of a mischievous little boy who knew he would get into loads of trouble but he still wanted to do whatever it was he was doing.
“Well, I can’t ask it when you’re being all….” she huffed, not knowing what to call him.
“A smart ass?” he laughed.
“You’re gonna get us kicked out of here, for good,” she scolded him.
“What can I do? I’m having too much fun. Would have been better to drink that coffee at the cafeteria but imagine what they would all say if they saw us there?”
He pretended to gasp, then covered his mouth with his hands. There was a look of mock shock on his face.
“You’d be as bad as I am,” he winked.
“Are you?” she asked.
“Am I what?” he repeated.
“Bad?”
“That’s what they say, isn’t it? And it matters most what they say, no?”
“Gosh!” She threw her head backward, feeling helpless. “Don’t you know how to talk like a normal person, instead of constantly replying with another question?”
“But, I am replying, no?”
“There you go again!”
“Would you rather I was quiet?” he wondered.
“I’d rather you talked more sense.”
“Then, ask the question finally,” he suppressed a bout of laughter.
“Are you a blood dealer?” she asked, annoyed at how this was going and she didn’t even care anymore whether they would be overheard or not.
“Oh, that one!” he waved his hand dismissively. “Yes, of course.”
“What do you mean, of course?”
“I am a blood dealer,” he told her, so indifferently, that she could barely believe what she was hearing.
“So, you admit it?” she asked, immediately feeling stupid.
A part of her needed that further confirmation, just in case she didn’t hear him well, or maybe, he didn’t understand the question properly. Otherwise, would he really admit to this so easily?
“Yup,” he nodded again, with that same stupid look of indifference on his gorgeous face.
“But… why?” she frowned. “Why are you doing this?”
“Despite what you may think, I’m actually one of the good guys,” he told her.
“That’s not how the story goes,” she shook her head. “You’re getting people high on blood they’re not supposed to be drinking.”
“Would you rather they start killing off Halflings like yourself?” he asked her a question she wasn’t expecting.
She bit her lip, which still hurt a little, then looked down. He was right. A part of that was right, and she hated his smug face.
“Just think of the mayhem that might take place if some people went crazy for not getting their fix.”
“I guess…”
“So, what I’m doing is actually providing a service which keeps the peace around here.”
“While you make a quick buck,” she added, still frowning.
“A quick buck?” he laughed again, a little louder than he was supposed to.
Now, Eva was sure they were getting kicked out of the library and getting their cards revoked. But, no one came to warn them or kick them out. It was a good sign.
“And, what the hell can I do with a quick buck here, in the fucking middle of nowhere? Spend it on booze and women?” he snorted. “Be realistic.”
“So, I’m supposed to believe that you are doing it out of the goodness of your heart?” she asked. “Hardly.”
“Believe what you wish, doll,” he shrugged his shoulders. “You asked and I replied honestly but you don’t like the answer, so obviously there’s really no pleasing you.”
She felt insulted. Who did he think he was to talk to her like that?
“There are things you don’t know about, doll,” he repeated that word, and she both hated it and yearned to hear it again. “The world isn’t always black and white, as you see it.”
“I know that,” she snapped back.
“Then, can you believe that someone can do something good even if it might appear to be the opposite on first sight?”
“That is not the rule.”
“It can be an exception to the rule, no?”
He was making sense, in a way which didn’t allow for backtalk. His smooth verbal sparring made her feel powerless, speechless. The only man who had ever managed to do that before was her father. He always told her that, if she didn’t have anything worthy of saying, she shouldn’t speak at all. But, she did believe that her words held value. So, did Sebastian. Only his come backs packed a punch, leaving her at a loss for words.
“How about a truce?” he suddenly asked.
She was quiet. She wanted a truce but she didn’t want it to be under these conditions.
“Do you really believe those stories? That I’m a bad guy who sells kids blood so they could get high and kill themselves or whatever?” he asked and she could hear it in his voice that he cared about her opinion.
“I…” she started, but didn’t really know what to tell him. “I don’t know what to believe in anymore.”
“It’s easy,” he smiled. “Just go with what your heart tells you.”
At that moment, she knew exactly who she believed, and what she wanted to do. Without thinking, she leaned in and pressed her lips against his. It was crazy, completely unlike her, but it was something she had to do.
He seemed surprised at first but he didn’t push her away, which was something she was most afraid of. Instead, he also leaned in, opening his mouth a little, introducing his tongue to hers. They kissed slowly, gently, but passionately. It seemed to last forever, her eyes closed, the only thing she could feel being him. When he pulled away, she felt a sudden void, as if the only place where he should always be was next to her and when he wasn’t there, she wasn’t herself. She wasn’t complete.
“I didn’t expect that,” he grinned.
“Sorry, I… don’t know what came over me,” she replied, shyly, feeling her cheeks ablaze.
“Listen,” he suddenly started and she felt as if someone punched her in the belly.
She knew what would follow. She knew it painfully well, especially when he took her hands in his and started talking in a tone in which someone speaks to a child who didn’t understand that they’d done something they shouldn’t have.
“You are a super sweet girl and I really enjoyed our time together,” he told her, only to have her interrupt him.
“But?” she asked, trying to stay calm, while all she wanted to do was burst into tears, for making such a fool of herself.
“But…” he repeated, continuing, “I’m really not into this whole conventional boyfriend-girlfriend thing. It’s just not for me.”
Suddenly, she was hopeful. So, he wasn’t saying no to her. He was saying no to an old school idea of what a relationship should be, something that she herself didn’t adhere to. She had to find out more.
“What are you into, then?” she asked, curious to know.
“It’s a bit… unorthodox,” he grinned, but she could see that he was a little uncomfortable talking about this.
“You can trust me,” she told him, squeezing his hand.
She almost felt like the tables had turned and now it was her turn to help him feel better. He was silent for a while and she let him be. She wanted him to feel like he had all the time in the world and that she would never push him into talking to her. He needed to do it on his own, if he wanted to, of course.
“I’m polyamorous,” he finally told her, and his face revealed a sense of relief.
“Polyamorous?” she repeated.
She remembered when she’d read about it for the first time a while back and she had thought how it perfectly summed up what she wanted. The consensual, ethical and responsible romantic relationship with several people and all of them being involved together. She never thought, not in a million years, that there were other people like her out there. She always thought she was a freak of nature for wanting something that was so different from the conventional idea of what a romantic relationship should be. She always wondered why that was so. If all the people in this relationship loved and cared for each other, why would it matter that there was more than two of them? It was all about love and respect, after all. The number should be irrelevant.
“Yes, it’s when you have multiple partners and everyone is okay with it,” he explained, nodding.
“I know what it is,” she smiled.
Her reaction confused him. She guessed it was probably because he himself only found a lack of understanding, every time he mentioned something like this to someone. But, not her. She understood exactly what he wanted, and she knew she could provide that for him. They could all provide that for each other and be truly happy.
“Well, you’re the first,” he replied, with that same look of confusion and disbelief on his face.
“It’s weird how much you can have in common with someone, without even realizing it at first.”
“That’s true,” he nodded.
“So, are you interested in experimenting a little with this?” she whispered, not believing that she had the courage to talk to him like this, as if she was so self-confident.
Maybe Dorian’s cockiness rubbed off on you a little, she thought to herself and smiled.
“What do you have in mind?”
“I’m kinda messing around with someone, actually, with two guys, and it’s more than messing around, really. I think we really clicked and it’s just… amazing.”
